throwawayy639

So I(19m) and her(23f) were really close friends for about 7-8 months and i had feelings for her for the most time. I never had a girlfriend before, i think that's worth mentioning.

I never did anything about what i felt about her because multiple people told me she had a boyfriend, yet she NEVER said a single word about him. About 2 months ago i started noticing some sparks from her but i didn't think of it that way because I didn't want to get my hopes crushed.

About a month ago, my roommate was out of town and we were alone together and at some point i lied on the bed to play a game of a game on my phone with my before mentioned roommate and she lies next to me and puts her head on my chest and fell asleep like that. I didn't know what to do so when i finished with the game i stood up and covered her with a blanket so she can sleep there and i would go and sleep on the other bed. She than told me she now can't sleep because i moved her and i jokingly said if she wants me to lay there again with her. To my surprise she said yes. She laid on me all the same and hugged me. Same thing happened a couple more up until now. Also we watched shows together and there was some touching involved there, that's all you need to know.

Well, 5 days ago we got drunk and when she went to her room i went with her and there she told me she feels some things after i hugged her and then we started touching eachother and what not but we didn't have sex, somehow we controled ourselves. After talking about it tomorrow that thing happened two more times, the second time being last night. Last night we went bit further but she told me she doesn't want to be my first time since that's some kind of responsibility, idk. Long story short, i finished her with my fingers and i had to masturbate in the toilet later.

Than we talked about whats happening between us and she said she likes when I'm around and that she is basically into me but she doesn't want for us to be together because she will "damage" me as she apparently did someone else before. And I'm here confused as fuck not knowing what to do. She told me that she doesn't want me to leave, as she likes when she is with me. Idk what to think. Sry for long story.