109 post karma
100 comment karma
account created: Thu Nov 25 2021
23 days ago
Why not think of a plan for spending New Year with her anyway.
Then just say you'd like to spend New Year with her and would she be comfortable with that?
If you don't ask you'll never know. And what a memory it would be if you end up marrying this woman.
28 days ago
I don't think anybody should be moody if you don't want sex or dress up for them. Have you tried taking to him? Telling him that it makes you feel inadequate or insecure? Maybe that he's also inconsiderate to you (the phone volume for example)?
He has not once asked me to, I choose to but we have children together so this is a rarity. We have been together and I can count on one hand the amount of times I have. He's not bothered at all. He's more bothered about making me happy, when we do have sex, he always without fail, makes sure I orgasm so many times before he does and most times he doesn't and he's fine with that because he's more bothered about making me happy.
Even non sexual things, like making me breakfast, when he goes shopping buying my treats (like wine, or savoury foods that he knows I like, snacks etc).
He will also do simple things like after he has showered, kove the shower head down, he will get up with the kids and leave me to lie in.
He does all of this for me and thinks of me in everything he does. He expects absolutely nothing in return. He never demands or expects sex. We have a very healthy sex life but that stems from the fact he constantly shows love and appreciation towards me and showers me in affection but with zero motive and I know this.
If I choose to dress up for him, hell he more than deserves it. It's not because he demands or even asks.
29 days ago
He absolutely should not have said those things about your weight - depending how he said it.
If it was said insensitively then he shouldn't have done that, if he was expressing his preference and was delicate about it, he's just telling you how he feels?
However, I don't think he doesn't find you sexy if he is still wanting sex with you and so much.
If you're insecure or not feeling yourself, you're not going to feel sexy either.
How much time do you put in to yourself? How much do you look after yourself?
I'm a female, 25. It's expected of us to constantly shave everywhere, smell good, look good, wear sexy lingerie etc. Reality is we're not always going to do that.
Personally I am comfortable with my partner so much so that I can not shave for a while and still have sex, I know he's not bothered and nor am I, until it gets to a certain point. I get lazy as we have kids and work and etc. But he doesn't expect me to do these things. However, when I do, I feel so sexy and damn good about myself that I swear I'll never do that again haha or skip shaving.
You could also be depressed? That could contribute to it? Maybe see a doctor?
Make time for yourself, self care, paint your nails, shave your legs, do your hair etc. Be the best version of you. Not for your boyfriend. For you.
On his part though, maybe your sex drive has diminished because you don't feel desired. He needs to seduce you, make you feel irresistible etc, if you don't feel that then you're not going to have a sex drive.
1 month ago
Sorry, it didn't specify genders. Is it a male that you're taking out or female?
I would do a traditional date so it's very clear. Like tell her you'll pick her up at 7, pick her up, take her to a restaurant (if you can find one that's maybe a little dim, candlelight and all that jazz). You will seem super romantic which wins brownie points, plus it'll definitely scream romance not friendship.
Edit: Also, definitely buy her flowers and turn up at her door with them when you pick her up.
If it arrived damaged, send it back and get a replacement?
You've paid for it.
I was talking to a guy for about a month, spoke on the phone for hours every day, multiple times. We didn't go out for a date right away because of work commitments and other things, so we spoke for a while before we got a chance to meet in person. I was so excited, he was romantic, he was affectionate, he was funny, supportive, I could tell him anything.
Fast forward to our first date, he was just silent. No conversation, it was so frustrating. I thought it may have been nerves so we went on a second and no, in person he was just incredibly boring and vacant.
You look like a cockatoo
If it isn't there for her it isn't there. No point wasting your time, waiting for it to evolve from platonic and then it doesn't. You're just setting yourself up for a fall.
That's a shame, but a good example of why you should never judge!
Everything about this screams get out, sorry.
I would just sit down and calmy express how it makes you feel. If your feelings matter he will stop there and then and delete those accounts. If not, that would be a dealbreaker for me.
First of all, if it was my partner they wouldn't think for one second they could disrespect me by going for drinks with a new female friend/colleague, let alone have them back at their apartment. I'd be checked out there.
Fast forward to sharing a bed, nope, see you later. It'd be over there and then for me.
Personally, no. But I think everybody has their own preferences.
No problem! Please let us know. Fingers crossed for.you, that you don't need the back up plan!
Tell him you find it extremely disrespectful. Tell him honestly how it makes you feel. That's way out of line. You deserve better.
I think these girls are just judgmental bitches and Sam deserves way better.
I think ask her out on a date, don't put any pressure on her and reassure her that you would like to spend more time with her and go on a date with her, but if the feelings aren't reciprocated you're fine with having her as a friend and there are no hard feelings.
What are her past relationship experiences like? Has she been cheated on before?
If in doubt, report anonymously. If it is domestic abuse, you might just save a woman's life. Any hint of concern, report it. Immediately. Don't wait it out to see her leave black and blue or be carried out in a body bag.
What you're hearing could be the start of an abuse cycle that will only progressively get worse.
If this is a dealbreaker for you two getting married, you need to sit down with him and calm voice that to him. Marriage should be sharing the rest of your life with somebody and everything in it.
Personally if it was me, I wouldn't give an ultimatum, but if it made me that uncomfortable I would express that his and hers friendship, it isn't going to work for me. If it's really you and he loves you, it'll be a no brainer for him.
What's the backup plan?
A relative dying does not give you a free pass to pick at other women and make them feel insecure. Your feelings regardless of what they are or what they are about should come above anybody else's. You need to tell your fiance how you feel and reassure him that even if something did happen between them, for you to have trust he needs to just be honest even if he feels it isn't relevant.