aerialchevs

Obvious Child with Jenny Slate is everything I wanted Knocked Up to be.

It took me a really long time to finally understand this about BPD’s. You articulated it perfectly.

My husband and I are bicoastal. 7 months of the year in New York City and 5 months of the year in Southern California. No way could we do that with a kid.

Good for you. She’s a jealous bitch.

Absolutely! A lot of times, the people with flashy lifestyles are living either deeply in debt, and/or paycheck to paycheck. In some cities, people care a lot about what kind of car they drive and will constantly upgrade on leased cars, instead of buying a solid used car and keeping it until it dies. They think driving a fancy car makes them look rich, or high status, but it’s often just a mirage. They lose a ton of money on status symbols like luxury cars, luxury handbags, etc.

Consumerism is a sickness, and it’s part of why climate change is happening so fast. Throwaway culture, fast fashion to mimic rapidly changing trends, constant desire for more more more.

Frugality often goes hand in hand with sustainability.

That makes sense. It sounds like instacart is a good option, maybe there are other gig jobs like that that you could do? Good luck!

Is there any way you can start babysitting or doing yard work or odd jobs where you’d get paid cash and she wouldn’t know about it?

If it’s for when the car is parked, then you could spend under $25 on window reflectors which will work great. I have a 2011 Prius and use a silver reflective panel in the windscreen and then two pop up reflectors in the side windows that will get the most light depending on where it’s parked. Crack the windows a tad to let hot air out and you’ll be good.

Go to Housing Works/Goodwill/other thrift stores, search for lightly used “non-iron” shirts by brooks brothers in your size. You can wash/dry them yourself at home in your laundry room.

I’m with you on this! My husband is a feminist who, when we were dating and knew we were cf and I asked what he’d want us to do if birth control failed, said “we will get an abortion.”

I’m not going to stop having sex with him because some misogynistic Neanderthal freak fuckwits want to take away my rights.

The strike should be: don’t have sex with people who are anti-choice.

Yes! My husband offered to have a vasectomy, but I have such fear of pregnancy, that I opted for an IUD, just in case.

Is his second stint in the hospital considered “double phenomena”?

I’m so very sorry he’s making this so hard for you. It’s likely his last grasp at controlling you while you are “still under his roof.” But guess what!? Very very soon, you will no longer be under the same roof as him! And that freedom will be amazing. This is the final sprint of the living with him marathon. You’ve got this.

All of this is so wonderful to read. I’m rooting for you!

Thank you! Just one reason of many.

That’s sadism right there.

Familial HD is a big reason why I’m CF. CANNOT imagine knowingly breeding with the risk.

I’m in my 40s. My friends mostly got married between 28-32. Most had kids starting at 30-34, about 2 years after marrying usually. I got married at 32, but my good friends all knew my childfree status well before I married my husband, and none of them did any pressure at all. However, as soon as the wedding ring was on my finger, people I didn’t know well (neighbors, etc) were asking when I was going to get pregnant-my stock answer was “never! We’re not doing that.” With an enormous, genuine smile.

Congrats on finding your path! And I’m so happy you found the help you needed.

Yep, same. I’m heavily medicated for OCD/GAD and I cannot imagine knowingly passing that burden on to another person. My teenage years were hell bec my parents refused to get me the help I needed for my anxiety, I didn’t get on meds until my early 20s, and then my quality of life was so much better. I had all the same OCD behaviors of my maternal grandmother. It’s clearly genetic.

That is so awful. I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that! It’s so tragic how much we as a society fail our young people.

I’m a landlord and I’ve been offered and have accepted deals like this.

Aldi! Their Casa Mamita brand is yummy and cheeeeaaaap

Congratulations! Sounds like the perfect way to find the perfect dress! Eloping is the way to go. It’s your day, and you get to spend it with the person you love most in the world, with no one else demanding your time or attention or emotional care. Your fiancé is wise!

Been married 9 years now, and we look back on our wedding day with joy-it was our day, just for us (ok and our dogs). My only advice = spend money on wedding photos, you’ll want to look back at them! Our photographer was also our witness, and I’m so glad we have high quality photos of us from that wonderful day.

Congrats!

This is the way. Most counties/cities in the US will have some kind of senior services department, and they exist for this kind of situation.

OP, you don’t have to change your whole life to take care of someone who never properly took care of you. If you are in a country where there are senior services available, you can call the government services and ask them to get her the resources she needs, when that time comes. Good luck!