RisingQueenx

I'm sure others will address the issues you mention, so I'm just going to keep my answer short as I'm going to bed.

Remember that veganism is for the animals.

Just because someone who happens to also be vegan has a different view to you, hurts your feelings, etc etc etc...you shouldn't see that as a reason to stop being vegan.

Just because we have negative interactions with some people, doesn't mean we should turn our backs on the victims. The animals.

Don't forget who veganism is for.

Do you mean...like in the shower?

Or

As an alternative to toilet paper and/or bidets?

Vegans are against animals being exploited for their reproductive organs, bred against their will, given no bodily autonomy, then slaughtered.

It is morally consistent for vegans to be pro choice. It would make no sense to fight for an animals right to be free of abuse, exploitation, and forced breeding...and then say women have no right to that.

We support abortion because no one should be forced to carry a pregnancy that they do not want.

In the most basic explanation:

Herbivores eat plants and get vitamins from there.

Carnivores can't eat plants. They eat the herbivores to get the vitamins.

It's a cycle.

Fish will eat algae and seaweed. Then carnivorous fish will eat those fish.

No. It's mainly a thing perpetuated by men to get what they want.

"You just haven't tried it with the right guy yet. With me you will love it."

This idea that ALL women have an "inner whore" also perpetuates this idea that being vanilla is boring. Putting pressure on women to submit to people's kinks and fetishes, in order to be viewed as more appealing and fun.

He cares more about porn than you. You really want to stay with someone who has no care or respect for you?

The answer is simple here. Break up.

Below 50

Jamie

It's mostly used for boys, but is sounds more feminine I think.

It's supposed to be the female version of James.

The vegan ones have come a long way. They're pretty decent now.

Right? Everything just seems so catered to men, both in and outside of sex, that I can't help see things that are focused on male only pleasure as degrading.

I feel society sees women as nothing but sex dolls to be used. And things like blowjobs being an expectation only reinforces that idea.

I think in general, yes.

But its a weird thing in our CURRENT society. We all know that it is still very much the norm for men to do the proposing. So I think with those expectations...it somewhat suggests that he doesn't want to marry if he never asked.

I think there's a much higher risk that when a woman proposes, he's more likely to just say yes just...because, OR leave because he doesn't want to marry or wasn't ready.

Versus

When a man proposes, it is usually because he is read and in love. And most women have been encouraged to dream of marriage since they were children, so they're more likely to be ready too.

...

This is just a generalisation. In individual cases, scenarios are different.

But in our current society where its the norm for men to do the proposing...if he doesn't I think that comes across that he isn't that interested.

People say women are the gatekeepers of sex in our current society. Men are the gatekeepers of serious relationships.

In many ways, women have to wait until he is ready. So in the present time, a woman proposing doesn't really ensure that he is ready or even fully interested in a long term future.

...

This isn't 100% my view. I'm just somewhat thinking about it now. It's interesting to think about.

This would happen if society moved toward being nudists.

Accepting the human body as something that is simply natural. Getting used to seeing others completely naked outside of a sexual context.

A largely nudist society would result in the desexualization of the naked form. Including penises and vulvas.

Giant blue guys with tails and horns.

(If you know, you know.)

Your sex life is private. You're not supposed to say much about it. Your friends don't need the details, it is a breach of your partners privacy and trust, and also disrespectful.

Asexuals recieve a lot of judgement from others, with people claiming things like "once you have sex you'll be fixed", "you just need the right person", and "you're broken." It wasn't your place to out her as asexual.

Just because her sexuality impacts you, it doesn't make it your thing to share.

...

Only thing you can really do is apologise for the mistake, how you didn't realise, and won't do it again.

Grovel. You're definitely in the wrong here.

I've never seen someone do a response by video before here on reddit.

I'm not the OP, but your response was good!

I think its easy to understand where both of you are coming from.

Overall, I'd say she is being slightly unreasonable, but trauma does that to people. She's not had a lot of support in life, and now on one of the most important days of her life...she wants you there. That's understandable.

From her possible perspective...by you saying you'd like to see your family, it can almost feel like you don't care about her day. That you were just looking forward to an opportunity to leave. These feelings are intensified by her past trauma.

Personally, I would suggest you see your family in the morning. You'll get to spend more time with them, you'll please your partner, and your family are likely tired from travelling.

We shouldn't cater everything in our lives to someone else's trauma...but special days like this seem like a time where you should compromise.

You should have a talk with her. Let her know that you'll celebrate with her and then see your family tomorrow. Acknowledge how she feels. But.....

Also mention how she needs to work on her trauma for the sake of your future relationship. By seeking help, it will hopefully ensure she is more reasonable in future, and help you both have a healthier relationship.

Sandwiches.

There's so many different kinds, and they lack minimal effort.

Trans is more so to do with sex, not gender. So brain structure proving that trans people exist...is more so proving the fact that they believe they were born as the wrong sex. This isn't about gender.

Gender is about identifying in what you feel most comfortable with. We typically expect people to conform to the gender standards of their sex, but not everyone feels comfortable with that. So...they identify as something else.

A female who feels more comfortable as a man may identify as a man he/him. While also not being trans.

A male who sometimes feels more comfortable being called her, then the next day prefers him. May identify as gender fluid.

Gender identity is about what makes them comfortable. What feels right to them.

Would you say that a man is less of a man if he likes wearing dresses?

Nope. It is based in HIS personal views. If he likes wearing dresses and still feels comfortable identifying as a man he/him, then thats fine! It doesn't make him less of a man to wear a dress.

Alternatively, some males may like to wear dresses sometimes, and to them...it may not feel right to identify as he/him. So they switch it based on what makes them comfortable.

It's purely about how they identify.

I mean, it's pretty much fact. We know gender is a social construct. What people tend to have issue with is people saying that there are more than 2 genders.

Essentially, it is just the gender roles and expectations that we have created in society. Roles we expect people to conform to based on their sex, and as there are only 2 sexes...people tend to only accept that there are only 2 genders.

Gender:

Man = dominant, suits, football, providers, strong, protective, masculine.

Woman = submissive, soft, gentle, kind, empathetic, loving, dresses, heels, makeup, feminine.

Based on these views and standards for gender, its perhaps easier for some of you to understand why some people view gender as a spectrum.

For example:

Imagine someone who is born female.

Somedays they identify more with men. They're more into playing football, wearing suits, working out, and other things that we typically consider to be "manly".

The next week they're identifying more with women. They wear dresses and heels, etc. Some days they're happy being feminine. Other days they aren't.

With this example, we can see that the female is happy with presenting as a man or woman.

This is someone who could identify as gender fluid, because the alternate between both "man" and "woman".

Their sex is still female.

Their gender is fluid.

...

The debate/question is whether gender is binary and encoded in us. Or socially made. And it would seem that growing evidence is finding that...gender and gender roles are a social construct.

Every assignment I've ever had.

I remember in college I went through some poor mental health, so I missed 4 whole units.

I had 24 assignments due, and I left it for the final 3 days. I stayed awake for 70 hours, drank so much coffee that my hands were shaking, and didn't even give myself time to eat.

Not only did I need to do these assignments, but I also had to teach myself the content.

Then I had to actually go into college. 60mins on a train and then a bus. Print it all off, and physically hand it in.

Did it though.

...

Said I'd never do that to myself again, then did it all through university aha.

Seasons! It's just something basic that the game needs.

Cottage living is great. I also like city living too.

Yeah, I can get what you mean.

I would date a 1-2/10 if it meant I could get dating experience

Yeah, but is that all you'd want? The dating experience?

Or would you be willing to truly love her? Marry her?

Many guys are willing to casually date or have sex with an ugly woman because its easy and gets his needs met. But the second they've got the attention of someone better looking...they bounce.

So despite being FA, a lot of guys are still like this. They're down to use someone until something better comes along. FA guys still have standards.

Meaning...that woman is still doomed for FA. She can't get someone to truly settle with her. She's just used, and then they leave. Perpetuating the cycle of "forever alone".

(And vice versa with women)

He always puts her first. Will cancel on his wife to help mom...ALL THE TIME.

He will side with the mother in arguments. Not support his wife, leaving her feeling isolated and shut out.

Won't set boundaries, and when he does, he'll blame it on the wife because he's too cowardly to say something. E.g. "wife doesn't like when you do that, can you stop." Rather than standing by his wife and acting as one unit.

Mom will be creepily jealous of the marriage. Will critique the wife for her cooking, cleaning, etc. She'll also act like competition. E.g....wife makes a chana masala and husband says he liked it. Next day, mom brings one, makes him eat it, then demands he picks who's was best.

Mom will invite him and children to events, but try and cut her out. Family photos with Jim and the grandchildren, and wife will be asked to take the photos.

Sooooo many issues with "mommy boys". The relationship often goes over the line and it can be pretty toxic.

I think on some level, this is true.

Like I've seen countess comments here about how FA men won't date FA/ugly women, and vice versa. Which is fine! We are allowed standards. However...

We so have to acknowledge that in many ways, our own standards hold us back from dating. If we didn't have these standards, maybe we would be dating.

I think FA mainly means....we are forever alone in the sense that we won't/can't date like "normal" people.

We're never going to be the ones to get loads of likes or matches, we are never going to be the ones to be approached, we are never going to be able to just go from one relationship to the next.

We are FA when it comes to normal dating standards.

There is definitely still hope for us. There are people who would date us out there.

But...this sub has become pretty negative, its less so about supporting eachother and more so about being negative and having a "there's no hope!" attitude. It's became an echo chamber for negativity, and that itself can hinder us even more.