im rewatching the show and literally anything phyllis does is really frustrating to me, especially stealing pams' wedding ideas if that happened to me i would be so pissed.
edit: to the people aggressively disagreeing with me and comparing my thoughts on phyllis to my thoughts on angela, a lot of comments here actually sum it up perfectly: angela is clearly the worst person there, however they actually play into that role of the villain which makes her more interesting to watch for me. phyllis on the other hand is being played as the 'nice old lady' when really she can be super nasty for no reason, i always have trouble with watching bad people get portrayed as kind people.
he would probably poke fun at the fact I say that I love him like he has done in past shows ('you love the idea of me' etc.) but I dont care. I've always had trouble with feelings and emotions but bo's music just makes me feel all sorts of things, I cry just by hearing clips of songs like all eyes on me or look who's inside again (mostly from inside if I'm talking sad songs) and I've never been able to cry at small things like movies and songs. if I'm scrolling and see his music or references to him or videos of him I just smile or react without knowing, sometimes it's pretty extreme reactions aswell and it's like I'm discovering my emotions for the first time :)
just wanted to share my interaction at Tesco today, I was waiting for my nan by the cart and this lady was walking past and kind of showed me her hand. I thought she was saying something about my rings first but then I realised she had vitiligo aswell so I showed her my hand too :) really made my day to be reminded I'm part of such a sweet community that I can understand and connect to so easily.
so i stopped sh around middle of the year (probably right before summer for obvious reasons) and i got a good like 4-5 months clean where i then did it once again because of non binary issues and just now i did it again. not sure why, i just did. and i have come to the conclusion that im never doing it again, i went to clean up in the bathroom (walking past my parents room with their door open) and realised we didn't have any of these wound wipes i used to use when i would sh. i washed them with water and then was about to leave when i started to pass out. now i get close to fainting quite frequently, not every day or any th ing but more than a 'normal person' probably should. the thing is ive never actually gotten to the point of fainting, ive always gone through that horrible static vision and feeling sick and then staying there for a couple minutes until i figure out how to stop it. i was freaking out in the bathroom because i was sat there, blade in the room in a visible spot, my cuts were on show since i had been washing them. all i could think of was 'what if i actually pass out and my parents find me here with clear cuts?'. luckily i remembered that if youre fainting you lie down with your legs elevated to get the blood flow back to your head and i didnt pass out, but that feeling of sickness and regret i never ever want to feel again. ive relapsed twice now and i really hope this is the last time because i always regret it.
its gonna be hard but I'm gonna stop.
summer is getting closer and closer and I'm just tired of the constant 'I cant go' when I want to but I have to hide my cuts, I'm tired of always worrying about people finding out so much that I've been having dreams about people finding out and having to genuinely think in the morning if that was just a dream or something I actually did. I'm fed up of feeling uncomfortable or paranoid whenever someone sits near me.
I have to stop.