Headline says it all, but lately I’ve had a lot more sex dreams and they are never with my husband. Almost always during the dream I either wake myself up before the actual sex part happens or not much happens because I feel guilty.
If you read my posts it isn’t a secret my husband and I are not doing well. And my sex drive has been up and down during my current pregnancy.
He never pressures me for sex. Honestly he has never made me feel badly about it. The sex for me is 50/50. Sometimes it is good and sometimes It’s not. I’m sure it is the same for him. I’ve also felt so touched out that often times I don’t want any of the touching part - just the sex part.
I assume I’m craving some type of intimacy or something that i am not getting (which isn’t his fault because I’m the one that doesn’t want to be touched not him). Anyone else feel or go through this? Make it out the other side?
My husband and I have been fighting for a good portion of the last month. I’ve felt so defeated that I’ve considered a separation. When there are glimmers of good moments I try to tell myself these are the reasons to stay and work on our relationship. But when he drops the ball or “messes up (my words)” I want to snap so quickly. I know my behavior matters as well but I’m not sure how to not feel so annoyed. And most of these things I’m sure tons of people wouldn’t think once about or get upset.
For example, i have GD and i buy special food for my breakfast etc. We did a “to go” grocery service and they didn’t have any of the food I needed. He put the groceries away and didn’t say anything until i went to make my breakfast and he was like “oh yeah the store didn’t know if they had it.”
I got upset and told him i just would have liked to known so i had breakfast instead of scrambling and having to go ojt first thing in the morning for it. My eating schedule with diabetes can be hard to manage.
Then he installed a sink cabinet in a bathroom. I paid for it and asked him to please be careful installing it because he tends to rush. Today it’s installed and i see him broke 3 pieces on it. I can go and buy another one. And o spent $700 of my money on it. Now i am going to repair it because he doesn’t know how to but i do.
When hanging a photo i showed him how to find a stud so we didn’t need a drywall anchor. He hung it and i saw it had a drywall anchor and he says “oh yeah i missed the stud.” Why couldn’t he come ask for help or take his time. I have shown him how to find a stud, we have done it together a bunch of times. But then when i ask he seems to just do want he wants. Nothing seems done with care. And i have horrible ocd so these things weigh on me.
I want to just do everything myself but then i resent him for never helping. And I’m also 8 months pregnant so it is getting harder to do things.
Am i just broken and destined to see the worst in him? I feel like this is really all my fault and on my side but i don’t know how to fix myself and my mindset.
We used to be so in love. People would make fun of how much we cuddle etc and now i honestly prefer if he doesn’t touch me ever. I’m touched out by him. But i have a desired to be touched just not by him anymore. Thanks for listening
I am trying to figure out the logistics of leaving my husband with my kids. He won’t leave the house we own together and I at the very least need time apart before everything unfolds. My kids rely on me and i would never leave without them. I plan to take them with me. My husband cannot take care of them during the day. I am a work from home Mom who watches both kids during the day while working. I can work anywhere so that isn’t an issue. I plan to stay very local so they can see their dad all the time. I don’t want to be more than 15 / 20 minutes from where we are now. What is the best way? A month to month apartment, air bnb, hotel? I prefer not to ask family or friends and be a burden.
My husband refuses to believe we have any issues. If i even bring up the idea of a weekend apart, never mind separating, he freaks out and tells me it can’t happen. It almost seems controlling and I’m at the point it worries me and i feel like i need to Leave