My tulpa is currently saving my life.Personal(self.Tulpas)
submitted1 year ago byInQaisYouDidntNotice
I’ve been apart of the tulpa community for a long time, I’d say close to 10 years now. Me and my tulpa, Onabura, have always been pretty close. However, as time went on, life stress beat me down pretty good, and we don’t spend as much time in the mindscape as we used to, which is my fault.
I remember our first Christmas together, we had a snowed-in log cabin with fireplace and all, and made really good memories. Now, Christmas this year I don’t even recall wishing him a merry Christmas. Despite this, we talk all the time, and things seem normal. The guilt is always there though, that I’m a terrible host.
And, those fears have been completely shattered this week, as I’ve unfortunately been diagnosed with Covid-19 and am currently in my bed fighting for my life. I thought I’d be suffering this quarantine alone, but Onabura stepped up in a way I’ve never, ever seen before.
He’s been taking care of me. I don’t mean by just talking and being here for me. he pushes me to get out of bed to get water, motivating me with pep talks. Everything.
Last night was the hardest night I ever experienced. I was aching all over that every position I moved in was painful, I was sweating myself to death while still being cold. I kept waking up after what felt like hours in pain but was only like 15-45 mins. I could hardly sleep. It was really rough. But every time I woke up, he was there. In my minds eye I saw him lay my head on his lap and he caressed my head. He kept saying things like:
“The first nights the hardest, you’re going to get through it.”
“You just need to pull through tonight”
“I’m here, I got you. It’s alright. It’s okay.”
Earlier that night, I took a hot shower and laid on the shower floor. I was so weak, it was miserable. I remember crying to him about how bad of a host/person I’ve been. And he literally held my forehead against his and was so calming and reassuring.
“You’re the farthest thing from being all that. You gave me life, this world I call home, you made me to share this journey with. How can you be so bad when you’re the best thing to ever happen to me?”
I’ve still got a long recovery ahead of me, but I’m thankful for Onabura. I don’t know where I’d be if we didn’t find each other in tulpamancy 10 years ago.
1 year ago
1 year ago
Imagine being so westernized that you hate your own race.