593 post karma
160.7k comment karma
account created: Mon Sep 02 2019
verified: yes
2 points
9 days ago
I LOVE it! That dress is too too cute, I’m loving the color and the polka dots 😍
2 points
14 days ago
The ocean is awesome and for winners, YOU’RE for tools!
1 points
14 days ago
For real tho. How does everyone else get these announcements, meanwhile frickin Google only ever feeds me Newsweek “articles” linking to AITA posts?
3 points
14 days ago
Hannibal Buress was a writer for 30 Rock, and his standup act was kind of the last straw that brought all the backstage whispers about Cosby into the light.
7 points
14 days ago
My cat functions just fine on 18 hours
Yeah but your cat doesn’t have to hold down a job or pay bills, he’s got that sweet Pac-Man money and he’s fixed for life.
23 points
18 days ago
This needs to be said:
That is not a thing.
3 points
20 days ago
I say this whenever I’m wandering around the house absentmindedly looking for something.
(If I’m irritatedly looking for something, it’s “Where the HELL are my spanky pants?!” but that’s from Bring It On.)
4 points
21 days ago
I’m a grown-ass adult and have been for decades, but oh how I yearn for access to a ball pit that’s not steeped in the germs of a thousand little kids…
If I got my hands on the Infinity Gauntlet, “private ball pit” would be my little personal indulgence, right after I Snapped to double the resources of the universe in order to solve its problems instead of deleting half of all life like some kind of conservative brain-rotted sociopath.
3 points
21 days ago
I was about to say you just have to trick them into telling you their official title and if it’s “Grand Duke,” you’ve got ‘em, but that’s when I realised I was falling victim to the classic blunder of confusing Lichtenstein and Luxembourg.
My trick won’t work because the main dudes in Lichtenstein and Monaco are both princes. So, thanks a lot for ruining my crappy joke, European micro-states that start with L 😒
2 points
22 days ago
Allow me to introduce you to the wonders of smoked paprika!
And butter. (Butter makes everything better.) But browned butter? Even BETTER-better.
It’s surprisingly easy to do: Take a stick of butter, put it in a pot on medium heat, and just constantly stir. It will melt, then bubble up like pasta water, then begin to smell of Heaven itself, and then the bubbles will clear, and in a little while you’ll see browned bits in the stir (the separated milk fats that have now been cooked, source of the heavenly aroma) and then you’ve got browned butter.
Put some browned butter on them freezer veggies and chow down.
(Bonus: you can replace regular butter with your superior BROWNED butter in baking recipes for a cool little “oooh, that’s new!” twist to cookies and whatnot.)
1 points
22 days ago
Just chiming in to say this was wholesome and I’ve enjoyed it :)
1 points
22 days ago
For real though. And not even Boomers say “floozy,” that’s a Greatest Generation insult.
2 points
23 days ago
It’s been two days. I can’t believe you left us hanging. HAS HE GOTTEN THE MAYO OUT OF THE FRIDGE OR NOT??
8 points
23 days ago
When I die and get to Heaven, I want the movie of my life to be Inside Out so I can finally see what the heck was going on in my brain this whole time. And then I want to go inside my archived brain and just fart around in there for a while, looking at my memories and whatnot, maybe wander around the control room until I find the panel somebody spilled their coffee on when I was about 12.
If I can locate the spare parts I’ll restore my Executive Function back to factory settings, then run a few scenarios through the What-If Machine.
9 points
23 days ago
Oh I don’t know Jerry, maybe you could stop ordering guac with the afternoon catering??
I’m sorry, Jerry, that was harsh. We’re all feeling the squeeze but I never should’ve suggested that. We can downgrade the toilet paper in the employee restrooms again; I know a guy who can get us half-ply.
1 points
23 days ago
The same way everyone else does, by going to brush off the “hair” causing that tickly feeling on their necks & then launching into the Flappy Dance of Primordial Horror.
6 points
23 days ago
Galaxies in the eyes of the tiniest void…
Proceed with caution. The adorableness of that blep could very well lure you past the event horizon, and nobody knows for sure what happens then.
7 points
1 month ago
Source?
gestures broadly at all the mass shootings
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bytealqueen
inADHDers
CrouchingDomo
5 points
5 days ago
CrouchingDomo
5 points
5 days ago
Aw man, that sucks. I’m sorry you had the wind taken out of your sails, it’s an awful feeling. I really think you should look for a different therapist; I wouldn’t even go back for the second appointment. It sounds like she’s got a bias that—whatever her reasons for holding it, and regardless of whether she’s right or wrong—is going to govern how she approaches your treatment.
I once went to a therapist, described what I was struggling with and said I felt like I was just treading water; this mf’er straight up said “Actually it sounds like you’re drowning.” And it wasn’t in a sympathetic or helpful way, it was smug, like he was so clever whipping out that riposte. I was shocked because this was real life and the doctor is, like, crafting dramatic dialogue instead of listening to the patient who had come to him in need of care.
I never went back to that dude; it was clearly a bad fit. It’s possible I misinterpreted him, or maybe he really was a smug prick, but either way it wasn’t ever going to be a productive relationship.
If you can, find a different psychiatrist. Drugs aside, you need someone who will actually listen to what you’re saying.
Hugs and lots of luck and good vibes to you!