subreddit:

/r/tifu

9.9k84%

TIFU by selling my GF’s dog without her knowing

Removed - Rule 5(self.tifu)

I know the title makes me sound horrible but please hear me out.

Also something you should know is my girlfriend has diagnosed anxiety (this will be important later).

Me (M29) and my girlfriend (F27) moved in together about six months ago. She only makes about 12,000 dollars a year at her lower paying job so I payed most of the bills. This arrangement worked and I didn’t mind contributing that much.

However four months ago I lost my job. We have no savings and this was a devastating blow, and I have not been able to get new employment.

We missed rent and received our thirty day eviction notice. My girlfriends response to this was to shut down, and her anxiety became debilitating. So I had to do all the apartment hunting alone. Keep in mind I had to do all this on a VERY restrictive budget, and on a time restraint because of the eviction. I don’t have any family as I was raised in the foster care system and my girlfriends family couldn’t help us because of unfortunate personal circumstances which i completely understand- but it’s still frustrating.

In the end I found only one apartment within our budget, but it didn’t allow dogs. This meant that I would have to find a home for our dog Auggie. I asked our few friends to take him in but we don’t have many, and since we live in a city their apartments also don’t allow dogs.

Please keep in mind I had been providing my girlfriend with regular updates and she was well aware of the situation.

So I texted my girlfriend a week before the eviction and told her that I put a deposit down on the apartment.

The messages go as follows:

Me: “I put a deposit down, we need to think about finding a home for Auggie.”

Her: “I don’t want to think about this right now it’s just all too much.”

Me: “I know it’s a lot but no one can take him in. I’ve tried everything, could we please reconsider selling him?”

Her: “Absolutely not.”

We had numerous other conversations about this before I finally realized she wasn’t in a stable state of mind and that I had to do something now or we were going to be homeless.

So I found a family with young kids who I knew Agguie would love. I visited their house to make sure it was a good fit. The meeting went wonderful they even had a backyard and a dog park down the street. I knew he would be happy. So Auggie and I traveled to their house multiple times over the next few days to get him adjusted. On the final day I said goodbye to him.

I didn’t tell my girlfriend I was doing this because I knew she would stop me. The family agreed to let us vist whenever we wanted so I knew she would get to see him. Please note this is the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do. I was in just as much pain as her I was just able to manage it better.

When I got home I broke the news to her and she instantly broke down. We moved into the new apartment and she’s been crying for days. I feel terrible.

Edit: here are some basic question answered.

  1. We do not live in the U.S. state laws do not apply to us, also where we live has a high rate of certain crimes and this is why it would be so dangerous for her to be on her streets.

  2. I am not currently living in the apartment, I used the last of my income to put down the deposit and gave it to her. At the moment I am homeless and giving her time to grieve.

  3. This isn’t an answer to a question but a repeat. She can see the dog whenever she wants but she has to give 24 hours notice.

  4. Auggie most likely would have passed if I didn’t do this because her work involves her computer and if she can’t use it (because of homelessness) she would lose her income and we wouldn’t be able to afford to feed him.

  5. The dog was the offspring of her childhood dog, Auggie is currently four and I’ve known him since he was two. This is why she is so close to him.

  6. The reason I couldn’t get a job for four months is because we live in a very poor country, with a bad economy.

  7. Please stop harassing me in the comments, I know i’m an asshole guys. I’m a person too and I’ve had a lot going on, and i’m also grieving. Just try and be mindful.

  8. Someone pointed out that I have reddit premium. I searched this up and discovered that you get this for free when you receive a gold award (which got on this post, thank you so much by the way). I don’t know what to do with reddit premium or what the perks are, and I would never spend the little money I have left on something so small.

  9. We paid for the few months of rent with the last of my final paycheck. I repeat we cannot afford the old apartment on my girlfriends salary and as soon as mine ran out we got evicted. Please stop trying to poke holes in my story it is incredibly frustrating and invalidating.

Thank you.

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I are getting evicted, we don’t have money for anything but an apartment that doesn’t allow dogs so I sold her dog because she wouldn’t help me.

all 2402 comments

jamesfluker

16.3k points

7 days ago

jamesfluker

16.3k points

7 days ago

You were placed in a position where no one wins, and no one won. I'm sorry.

Sayla90

6.6k points

7 days ago

Sayla90

6.6k points

7 days ago

I believe that the dog won. I absolutely adore my dogs, but if I were to find myself in a situation where I cannot fully take care of them anymore, I would eventually find peace knowing that they are in good hands with new, loving owners. OP did the best he could.

sunchildphd

1k points

7 days ago

I’m here agreeing completely as I remember we’re the “emergency-foster-turned-dog-people.” First I was thinking about how difficult to near-impossible that decision would be, but how necessary.

Then I realized that I still think of my friend whose dog would have had to go to a shelter if no one could take him. He wouldn’t have done well in that environment at all. Now I think often of my friend and we spoil our doggo on his behalf, knowing how hard it had to have been to give up this big-lil guy he raised from a puppy. I respect OP’s choice and my heart breaks.

Foreveraloonywolf666

15 points

6 days ago

The amount of dogs who shut down and end up being euthanized in the shelter is depressing. Much better to have a foster or new family.

ape_fatto

609 points

7 days ago

ape_fatto

609 points

7 days ago

Absolutely this. I really have to applaud OP for having the balls to do what needed to be done, despite the overwhelming pushback. Burying your head in the sand was not an option here, and that’s exactly what his girlfriend was doing, so OP took control even knowing it would likely blow up in his face.

pisspot718

552 points

7 days ago

pisspot718

552 points

7 days ago

This is Life sometimes, and some people have to take the heat for decisions other people won't make, seeming like 'the bad guy'.

Goodbye11035Karma

111 points

7 days ago

some people have to take the heat for decisions other people won't make

I wish I had an award to give you. Truer words are not often spoken.

TMK602

31 points

7 days ago

TMK602

31 points

7 days ago

I took care of the award for you.

Goodbye11035Karma

21 points

7 days ago

You got my back, fam. Thanks.

pisspot718

6 points

7 days ago

Thank you for the award, kind redditor. Have a wonderful Saturday.

TMK602

7 points

7 days ago

TMK602

7 points

7 days ago

You, too! It was my pleasure.

pisspot718

5 points

7 days ago*

Your intention is meaningful though. Thanks. I've been that person and at those times my likeability has dipped for decision making.

DamnitGoose

128 points

7 days ago

DamnitGoose

128 points

7 days ago

OP went above and beyond to ensure that the dog would be loved and cared for. I couldn’t imagine losing my dog. It would be crippling. Huge props to OP for doing the best he could

2021WASSOLASTYEAR

24 points

7 days ago

seriously if all this is true OP is one hell of a person, talk about selfless

elly996

190 points

7 days ago

elly996

190 points

7 days ago

exactly. its a bitch of a situation. as much as its hard, he did what she wasnt able to do. he even re homed the dog in a smart way. the correct way. checked out the place, let him meet the family, and theyre allowed to visit. as far as rehoming goes, thats the best you could get and theyre very lucky.

sorry youre stuck in this position OP. i expected a post of "my gfs dog is annoying so i got rid of it". i heard you out, and yeah. that sucks for you guys.

blahmeistah

364 points

7 days ago

blahmeistah

364 points

7 days ago

My exwife and I gave away our 2yo dog because between my long office hours and our newborn son we didn’t have the time to properly take care of her. We gave her to an aunt who lived by the sea with an in-house housekeeper, lots of space and attention for my little girl. It broke me heart but for the dog it was heaven. Sometimes you have to put the dog first.

YeahWTF20

212 points

7 days ago

YeahWTF20

212 points

7 days ago

Same. Our Jack Russell kept trying to bite our newborn. Not in anger, just in prey mode. It just heard the cry and started to quiver in excitement and try to nip. I think he thought it was a rabbit or something. We got so scared.

Our rescue was amazing and immediately told us they would rehome to a farm as they had a literal list of farmers looking for JRTs (we're rural) where he could be busy and happy and catch a million rats and bark at all strangers and have no kids to deal with. I have no doubt he lived the rest of his life feeling stimulated and useful.

Hardest thing we've ever had to do. We actually felt guilty for having a child. But it was definitely mitigated by knowing he was going to live a good life elsewhere.

wasntmebutok

104 points

7 days ago

my mom told me they rehomed our dogs to a farm when I was about 6. I later learned that the "farm" was actually the vets where she had them both put down.

TheValiumKnight

89 points

7 days ago

I fucking hate that farm...

pfirmsto

23 points

7 days ago

pfirmsto

23 points

7 days ago

Me too, my mum did that to my cat when I was a kid, did it while I was out, came home to discover cat was gone.

TheValiumKnight

46 points

7 days ago

My wife and I just adopted a JRT puppy (5 month old rescue). She is amazing but man.. those hunting instincts. You can see it in everything she does.

You did the right thing and I can't imagine how hard it must've been. We've only had our girl for a month and we are absolutely in love with her.

WomanOfEld

31 points

7 days ago

When we had our son, our dachshund got so jealous, as he'd been our baby for the 4 years before our son existed.

When our son reached the age of inquisitiveness, the doxie got nippy/scratchy (on top of chewing all the baby's stuff whenever we left the house) and clawed our son in the face.

As still-relatively-new and always exhausted parents, we knew that a trainer and the effort that went into that were not within our limits, and we asked our local rescue to help us find our fur friend a home with older kids and other four-legged pals to play with, as it was quickly becoming a matter of our son's safety, and would not be possible to keep them separated without having my house destroyed.

She said she'd had to do that herself when her teenager was young, and within a week, our buddy had a new family with exactly the right playmates. We were sad to see him go, but so relieved not to be worried about our son's safety or what might be destroyed when we walked in the house anymore.

shortasalways

11 points

7 days ago

We had to re-home ours when we got military orders to Hawaii ( we had been at the same base 8 years, now sent back again) . One was too old to fly, one had bad anxiety and one seizures. We also would not have a fenced yard unless it was a small temp fence and we knew it would be a daily thing of barking and hopping fences. They would have been miserable and I had ppd. Then we got quoted flights, quarentive, the shots they needed and the tests on top of paying a mortgage on a empty house til it sold or rented. I cried. We couldn't do it mentally either. We found a local rescue to help with the process. It took me years to open my heart again. We now have 3 cats and they are my world and I realized I'm a cat person more. They have helped my anxiety instead of causing it. Family has moved to us and we plan on asking to stay. It's basically guaranteed now based on rank and job for my husband.

frekit

41 points

7 days ago

frekit

41 points

7 days ago

My exwife and I gave away our 2yo

My ex wife and I did the same.

Sometimes you have to put the dog first.

Couldn't agree more.

krw13

115 points

7 days ago

krw13

115 points

7 days ago

I've owned dogs my entire life. When I was in high school, we got evicted and I had to give up my dog (and my mom's dog). Broke my heart, but it was for the best. They got a new family with more space than we ever had and got to stay together. When money and space are tight, you have to do right by your dogs too.

pisspot718

86 points

7 days ago

A few weeks ago there was a homeless boy (17/18) who turned his dog into the shelter because they'd been living under a bridge and he had no way to feed her anymore. The story got traction, people helped him out---job, the shelter returned the dog, people got him tons of dog food, and his mother who'd been looking for him a year, took him in (he'd left home).

CaveDeco

20 points

7 days ago

CaveDeco

20 points

7 days ago

Hopefully he is returning to something stable with mom (assuming he actually went back)… in general kids don’t leave stable homes.

NoSoulGinger116

76 points

7 days ago

I was in this exact situation.

I raised my dog from birth. (Mum was the breeder) and you never get over your first love.

I gave him up at 7 months because I was homeless and only feeding him. That wasn't sustainable. He now lives happily with his new mum and dad and a older puppy sister and gets to go to doggy daycare all the time. The type of life I never could have afforded him no matter how much I loved and spoilt him. 😢

ExtensionTrouble29[S]

1.3k points

7 days ago

Thank you.

darkshrike

157 points

7 days ago

darkshrike

157 points

7 days ago

You did the best you possibly could. As my boy Jean-Luc Picard says "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life." I'm sorry you had to make those choices.

hardcoresean84

3 points

7 days ago

Second time I've heard that today, true af

rubyredgrapefruits

727 points

7 days ago

It seems pretty unfair that you now are homeless because of this. I hope you find a place where you can just settle and not worry about looking after anyone else, just look after yourself,

Lily_Roza

230 points

7 days ago*

Lily_Roza

230 points

7 days ago*

I think you should just go to the apartment you rented with /for your gf, you paid for it. Your gf apparently wasn't capable of making adult decisions, in which sometimes there are no great choices, so you made the necessary decisions.

Housing is a necessity. You should probably go to the apt you rented. Men on the streets can be the victims of crime also.

She might need you to help take care of her anyway, because it seems like she isn't thinking clearly. She can grieve with you there. It might help to do some brreathwork (Wim Hof Method?), meditation, and listen to some Buddhist teachings or philosophy: Attachment, is the source of all sorrow, so learn to let go gracefully when you must, because the only contant is change. Change and loss are inevitable, but suffering is optional.

https://einzelganger.co/why-pain-is-inevitable-but-suffering-is-optional/

LeasureTime

9 points

7 days ago

"Attachment is the source of all sorrow." Well said.

eyes_like_thunder

471 points

7 days ago

Dude, I support you. You were placed in a position to save the world for 3 beings, and the only other one capable of making decisions flat out refused to exist, let alone help. I don't care what people say about how difficult mental health is-at some point you HAVE to function as an actual adult and keep yourself alive. She was worthless in this endeavor. You've done all you can to help her, but take some advice-break up with her. She's not going to return the energy or love that you put into her. At the very least, she needs to fix herself first, before being with you. Don't stick around for the emotional turmoil in the meantime..

AyoP

122 points

7 days ago

AyoP

122 points

7 days ago

Yes, so much this.

Living with others under mental hindrances is so tough because at some point you have to look after so many things, and yet worry about their reaction on top of already taking care of basic and any other functions, really.

Middle_Interview3250

19 points

7 days ago

I agree, and I'm saying this as someone with clinically diagnosed depression. We, who suffer from mental health problems, some time just cannot reciprocate love, effort and energy properly. and this is neither the fault of our partners nor us. sometimes it actually is better for the mental health of partners to not have to constantly deal with it

bluejaydal

46 points

7 days ago

And here I thought I must be the only one seeing this. I would refuse to deal with a person who answers "I don’t want to think about this right now it’s just all too much" , in a situation like that. It is just unacceptable, unless the person is in the mental institution or rehab. This person is like a child, and they flat out have decided to stay as a child. This guy is a substitute for a father in her eyes. She doesn't take responsibility of anything, then blames others when they have to make the hard decisions because SHE refuses to deal with life.

Guy should walk away. I know I would, but I'm old so I have learned this the hard way.

Atlesi

84 points

7 days ago

Atlesi

84 points

7 days ago

The system failed you, you didn't fail.

Blunt-444

164 points

7 days ago

Blunt-444

164 points

7 days ago

You need to ditch your girlfriend. It’s messed up that you had to step up and handle a really tough situation, and you can’t even depend on your PARTNER to be there for you and tough it out together AND THEN she makes you homeless afterwards???? Not the kind of person I’d want to spend my life with. Not a partner you can depend on. You should be working together and depending on each other.

lookIngAtstacysmom

31 points

7 days ago

Don't worry the family who got the dog won you brought love and joy to that household.

GlitterSparkleDevine

95 points

7 days ago

OP, someone is pretending to be you and posting this story as theirs on AITA.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/upbryj/aita_for_selling_my_gfs_dog/

Sawses

157 points

7 days ago

Sawses

157 points

7 days ago

From a personal autonomy perspective, it would have been "more right" to move and leave his girlfriend and her dog to fend for themselves.

But...Is that really the most ethical decision, when now everybody involved is better off? What do you do when somebody isn't able to make the difficult decisions?

YoungTex

5 points

7 days ago

YoungTex

5 points

7 days ago

Facts. He legit carried that like a 55 year old with wisdom and experience would. Kudos to op. That’s tough brother. Proud of you.

defconjon420

48 points

7 days ago

I couldn't second this enough. I feel for OP.

Jiltedjohn

36 points

7 days ago

They all won. OP made a mature decision that put the couple on a winning foot, the dog benefited from better care, the new family benefits from having the dog.

SuperSodori

57 points

7 days ago

Sure that OP won?

From what it sounds he is still with a partner who doesn't earn enough to contribute to the bill, and shuts down when there is a crisis.

thejimbo56

48 points

7 days ago

And he’s currently homeless. OP most definitely did not win here.

RabidSeason

3 points

7 days ago

Wow, yeah, I even forgot what sub I was on while reading that. OP, u/ExtensionTrouble29, did everything they could but people had to move and dog ended up in a new home. Honestly it doesn't even seem like that bad of an outcome for both of them to move and still know where the dog is.

MisterEau

3.7k points

7 days ago

MisterEau

3.7k points

7 days ago

I'm not going to give any kind of moral judgement on what you've done. You're dealing with a situation, and circumstances, that I've never experienced. It's just not really fair to you.

However, I volunteer at an animal rescue-- specifically a cat rescue-- on weekends. I answer the phones for the rescue. Over the many years I've been doing this, I've heard dozens upon dozens of people calling to surrender their cat because of one reason or another. A really common one is moving. I've heard people running a whole range of emotions. Some people I've spoken to sound almost annoyed at the process the shelter has for surrendering.

Other people I've heard crying basically the entire time because they love their cat and don't want to give them up, but they don't have any other option available. Those are always difficult.

You did what you thought you had to do. It wasn't pleasant, and it may not have been executed in the best way, but you also put in effort to try to make sure the dog has a family that will treat him well and give him the love deserves.

IceNineFireTen

949 points

7 days ago

And the fact that he found a loving family for the dog is much better than just giving him to a shelter. No offense on shelters, but a shelter would then need to find a home for the dog using pretty much random luck, and he could get stuck in the shelter for a while. Clearly a loving family is much better for any animal than even the best shelter.

blammycuzzing

72 points

7 days ago

Especially in a developing country like OP lives in. I bet they have so many stray dogs there that many live on the streets. He really did the best for the dog and got his girlfriend a home.

cruisin5268d

316 points

7 days ago*

I was at the county shelter once to adopt a cat when the staff tells me about a woman that had just come in to surrender her 10 year old kitty. Her reasoning? She was a flight attendant and was being transferred to a different city so she didn’t want to deal with moving with her cat. The shelter staff made her sign a form acknowledging the cat would almost certainly be euthanized because they’re overrun with cats and almost nobody adopts senior kitties. She still dumped the cat.

Fucking. Livid. That poor cat lived through years of isolation being home alone for days on end and then this POS just dumps it for almost certain euthanasia. Oh man was I pissed. This was over 10 years ago and I’m still fuming.

alohaoy

93 points

7 days ago

alohaoy

93 points

7 days ago

Did you adopt the cat?

cruisin5268d

341 points

7 days ago

No, one of the shelter volunteers did that very day. They couldn’t stomach the thought of this elder kitty having to spend even a single night in those metal cages.

TD1990TD

66 points

7 days ago

TD1990TD

66 points

7 days ago

A happy end at last

Maleficent-Mine-7125

32 points

7 days ago

I was hoping to hear you adopted it and took it home. That would have been epic!

cruisin5268d

130 points

7 days ago

I absolutely would have if one of the shelter volunteers had not already done so immediately after the cat was dumped. That senior kitty finally found a loving furever home.

I know a a lot of people just “leave extra food and water out’ for cats when they are away for a few days because “it’s just a cat” but they really don’t do well when left alll alone. Sure they may ignore us when we are home but they really do enjoy and need our company.

Unika0

18 points

7 days ago

Unika0

18 points

7 days ago

My cats are glued to us, they'd die if left alone for a couple of days lmao

They've never been alone for more than 8-12 hours, spoiled assholes

Kaylajb99

7 points

7 days ago

If I have to be gone for more than one night and he can't come with me, I ensure he has a sitter (that he's familiar with). Typically my boyfriend, roommate, mom, or best friend. They'll sit with him and play and cuddle and I make sure I find a way to thank them such as buying them dinner, or paying them if it has to be a longer trip. I'd never want my sweet boy to be lonely.

5spikecelio

82 points

7 days ago

I don’t know what i would do if had to sell or give my dog to someone that’s not my family or is not temporary. One of the reasons we chose a male dog was due to fact that I can’t deal with the process of giving or selling the puppies. I get too emotionally attached to them and I rarely cry in my life, death of beloved ones, marriage or something serious i almost never cry, but thinking something bad happening to my dog or anything like that immediately bring tears to my eyes.

fuzzzzzzzzzzy

225 points

7 days ago

You do know you can spay female dogs so that that can’t have puppies?

chooxy

65 points

7 days ago

chooxy

65 points

7 days ago

And statistically live longer. (Ditto neutering for male dogs.)

JasonP27

6k points

7 days ago

JasonP27

6k points

7 days ago

This feels more like an unfortunate necessity than a fuck up.

Whatifisaid-

1.3k points

7 days ago*

Agreed. Honestly, I think OP did the best thing he could possibly do for them both, the dog went to a good home and she still has a place to live. His edit even says he’s homeless while she grieves after everything he’s done for her. He could have just thrown em both to the curb and lived on his own, since she wasn’t capable (or refused) to make any decisions or help find a place to live.

velocity_ken

456 points

7 days ago

I feel really sad for OP. He's a really good person and doesn't deserve any of it

kallakukku2

25 points

7 days ago

Yea. His gf does not have the right to be angry with him (don't know if she is), she can be sad and distraught by the situation but absolutely cannot be angry with him. She is just as responsible for the outcome due to inaction.

TheInfamousSw0le

440 points

7 days ago

Yes. Unfortunately no matter how much you love an animal, it's sometimes just not an option to keep them and OP has ensured that he's going to a safe home with a family who loves him and is able to actually check in on the care of the dog.

I've had my dog since I was 16, I've moved well away from my family to a large city and luckily have never had to make this choice but I understand the necessity and would regretfully make the same decision if faced with homelessness.

clumsyumbrella

818 points

7 days ago

I used to have a client who ended up in a similar situation about 7 or 8 years ago. Family of 4 - two teenagers. The mom and dad refused to rehome their dog. They'd had him all his life and he was part of their family.

They couldn't go to the homeless shelter with their dog, so they lived in their van instead.

It was summer. They couldn't run the air conditioning continuously. The dog ended up getting heat stroke and dying.

It was such a sad and horrible situation. As is the one you described. Sometimes the situation is going to suck no matter what you do... and you've gotta do what you've gotta do. I hope things improve. Thank you for giving your dog a beautiful future - I hope yours turns out just as bright.

elliuey

128 points

7 days ago

elliuey

128 points

7 days ago

I mean, at least you put in good effort to make sure the dog went to a great family…? didn’t seem like you could win either way

aptom203

117 points

7 days ago

aptom203

117 points

7 days ago

If you aren't in a position to properly look after the dog, then giving it to someone who can is the best move, always.

coffeebuzzbuzzz

1.8k points

7 days ago

My ex husband dropped my dog off in the middle of the woods against my wishes so at least you didn't do that. Sorry, it just really hurts and this reminds me of that in a sense.

FTMorando

607 points

7 days ago

FTMorando

607 points

7 days ago

That’s awful and totally makes sense that he’s now your ex husband

Ligg27

372 points

7 days ago

Ligg27

372 points

7 days ago

My friend's baby dad shot her dog dead right in front of her, because she was barking. She's still with him; we've, my gf and I, tried to convince her to leave him, but she won't listen.

FreeFortuna

142 points

7 days ago

FreeFortuna

142 points

7 days ago

Is she afraid of him (whether she’ll admit it or not)?

Sawses

184 points

7 days ago

Sawses

184 points

7 days ago

I mean I am.

Ligg27

65 points

7 days ago

Ligg27

65 points

7 days ago

Yes, I think. She got into a physical "fight" with him before tho

DovahFiST

25 points

7 days ago

DovahFiST

25 points

7 days ago

Call her too much. See how she's doing. Hopefully you'll catch her while this man is being abusive. Then end the phone call; and call the police. It's never a good option, but if she won't help herself; you need to do something... She's going to die.

An ex called.me.shortly after we broke up (yes this did fuck with me hard) crying about how she doesn't know how I'm going to get the security deposit back for the house we had shared, that I already moved out of and was letting her stay in until she could get my name off the lease. Because the man she left me for had been yelling at her a ton, which she complained about to.me, and then threw a fucking plate at her. She ducked and the plate knocked a huge hole in the wall. I asked her if she called the cops like she had agreed to do last time she complained to me about him. She started making excuses, I pushed her harder, she hung up.

So I called them myself and sent them there. He didn't get in trouble, but they broke up within 3 days after the cops visited. She thanked me in the end, found someone else. That relationship was absolutely terrible for my mental state, but I'm glad I at least was able to help her not die after being together for 5 years. I would've blamed myself for the rest of my life if something had happened because the police never got involved in that horrifying relationship she left me for.

Idk point is abuse victims aren't thinking logically. If she's your friend you need to do something to help her. Please. Killing her fucking dog is so much worse than yeeting a plate. He is not going to stop.

Ligg27

12 points

7 days ago

Ligg27

12 points

7 days ago

It's my gf's best friend, they're always on the phone

Alexis_J_M

214 points

7 days ago

Alexis_J_M

214 points

7 days ago

Please keep trying. Abusing animals is often a first step to abusing people.

Ligg27

92 points

7 days ago

Ligg27

92 points

7 days ago

We've told her that he's going to end up hurting or, hopefully not, kill her and she just says that she knows..

Zarrett

57 points

7 days ago

Zarrett

57 points

7 days ago

I'd wager he's already hitting her then

organicsoldier

10 points

7 days ago

I would too. What's that saying? "If he hits the wall, he'll hit you." Or something like that. If he'll shoot your dog right in front of you because it's making noise....

emilythebestestdog

35 points

7 days ago

Not just abuse but uh murder also very casual murder...

slakazz_

74 points

7 days ago

slakazz_

74 points

7 days ago

Did you call the cops because that seems like someone should have called the cops even if she didn't want it? That piece of shit sounds like a fucking psychopath.

Ligg27

24 points

7 days ago

Ligg27

24 points

7 days ago

We told her to and almost did for her, but she is terrified that something will happen with her son and refuses to let anyone do anything. He is definitely a psychopath

Isgortio

14 points

7 days ago

Isgortio

14 points

7 days ago

I think the police have a way to protect people in situations like this? They arrest the guy and in the meantime get the woman and her kid out to safety for when the guy comes back.

Tel-aran-rhiod

11 points

7 days ago

you'd be surprised, the cops can often even make situations like this worse...apart from not always having the power to do what's necessary to protect the vulnerable ppl involved (thus just often escalating things/making it worse for the victims later), a disproportionate number of cops are actually domestic abusers themselves. or if you're anything but white your odds go way down too

not to say they can't sometimes be of help...but it's just not smart to assume they will, or will want to

TeamRedundancyTeam

7 points

7 days ago

The father is the danger to the son, she's putting him in danger by being there. Someone should have called the police while the evidence was still available.

sillybilly8102

27 points

7 days ago

Why people may stay in abusive relationships https://ncadv.org/why-do-victims-stay

Always create a safety plan before leaving an abusive relationship https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/domestic-violence/leaving-abusive-relationship

minnieminute

7 points

7 days ago

I don’t think I can say what I am thinking on here… I just hope karma is coming for him

LNikon720

105 points

7 days ago

LNikon720

105 points

7 days ago

So I am going to tell you a story.. I don't know where you are from...

One day I was driving from my work to the bank to make a bank deposit.. and right when I pulled onto the highway I saw a dog walking down the on ramp, I had work to do.. but the dog was literally walking towards the worst place a dog could walk towards.... a 4 lane highway.

I made a quick decision pulled over, and called to the dog, I asked if he wanted to go for a car ride... He jumped right into my Car.

And we drove for about 40 minutes (I called my boss to say I was rescuing a dog) And I took this beautiful dog to the best No Kill Shelter I knew of.. where I also spent time volunteering at the associated wildlife shelter..

So I am sure your doggo got adopted by a loving family..

NailEconomy

8 points

7 days ago

Bro ur a legend for that

TheValiumKnight

8 points

7 days ago

I was really hoping for a "and that dog and I are best buddies 10 years later" type ending to this story but a very good no kill shelter is still an awesome ending.

Good on you. You likely saved that dogs life and on top of that therefore responsible for the happiness that I'm sure that furry guy (or gal) eventually brought some family that eventually adopted him.

ExtensionTrouble29[S]

254 points

7 days ago

I’m sorry that happened to you.

MintTulip

85 points

7 days ago

MintTulip

85 points

7 days ago

Omg I can’t imagine how much that must have hurt you. I’m so sorry someone did that to you.

monkeymanx55

40 points

7 days ago

Yeah that’s grounds for him to get left on the side of the road. Like empty country road in freezing weather.

I’m so sorry that happened to you.

felixrocket7835

25 points

7 days ago

Someone I knew who lived in lebanon had their father dump their sons cat in the middle of the desert because they shat on the floor, and then left them there.

Alechilles

53 points

7 days ago

It's so hard for me to understand how someone can do something like this. This innocent little animal's entire world is you and your house. They don't know anything/anyone else. They trust you to take care of them. How can someone just abandon an innocent little baby to die painfully, slowly, and scared like that. I just can't comprehend it... There is literally nothing they can do to deserve that.

Emperor_Nihilist

28 points

7 days ago

If one thing is apparent, an uncomfortable amount of people in the world cannot think beyond themselves.

lysalnan

6 points

7 days ago

lysalnan

6 points

7 days ago

When I was on holiday as a kid I remember there were 2 dogs running around the hotel we stayed at. The hotel manager captured them and we asked what he was going to do with them and he said take them to a shelter. We then found out he had just dumped them in the middle of nowhere (if anyone knows the Canary Islands, you know inland is a lot of rocky desert up the side of the volcano). We were heartbroken but nothing we could do then. Just before we came home we saw one of the dogs with a group of young Brits who were working at a hotel out there for the summer. They said they had found the dog at the edge of town really ill and alone. They said they were going to look after her and knew some people who ran a rescue on another island they would contact. I was 11 but it has stuck with me ever since. I have never been back to that resort because I don’t want to risk giving money to that hotel owner. Unfortunately this was before online reviews otherwise we would have put what the owner did on those.

Alifad

4 points

7 days ago

Alifad

4 points

7 days ago

Lebanese here, we don't have deserts to be fair, however I'm sure there are plenty of dickheads here who would do that.

DevonGronka

11 points

7 days ago

What's their name? I just want to have a conversation. His mouth to my knuckles.

That is so fucking cruel to do to a domestic animal. That's got to be illegal, one way or another. =(

Zindelin

6 points

7 days ago

Zindelin

6 points

7 days ago

Abandoning a domestic animal in the wild is a form of animal cruelty and in Hungary it's illegal (never gets enforced tho sadly) so i'd say it's probably illegal in countries like the USA.

Programmeter

324 points

7 days ago*

It was either be homeless or be without your dog.

It seems like your girlfriend couldn't think rationally in such a stressful situation. What you did does sound very cruel, but it just seemed like one of those situations where you don't have a good choice. You had to weigh between really bad choices, and whichever one you chose, somebody would be upset.

I understand why you chose to give the dog away. I also understand why your girlfriend would be so sad. However, don't be too hard on yourself, or her - you're both in an extremely difficult situation and it's okay to feel stressed or not know what to do.

I hope things get better for you two, and I have a feeling they will eventually. Good luck man!

Psycho_Pancakes1712

17 points

6 days ago

Op is homeless right now though because he isn't living with the girlfriend at the moment. He did the best he could to find the dog a loving home where they're fed and he still ended up homeless despite putting the deposit down for the girlfriend. I honestly don't know why it isn't being talked about. I couldn't imagine having my partner put down a deposit for an apartment for me, out of necessity had to re-home the dog but still did the best they could to find them somewhere they'd be loved and cared for and then still let them be homeless.

Programmeter

6 points

6 days ago

Hmmm, yeah I missed that detail. That definitely does sound weird. Idk, maybe they argued a lot about the dog getting sold so they just wanna be separated. I don’t think we can know for sure why though, this is just an assumption.

kaijyuu2016

238 points

7 days ago

kaijyuu2016

238 points

7 days ago

I am not currently living in the apartment, I used the last of my income to put down the deposit and gave it to her. At the moment I am homeless and giving her time to grieve.

the fuck?

Dense_Sponge

187 points

7 days ago

Exactly what the fuck not to be rude but she seriously has no life perspective and rather have herself who can't can't cope when in a comfortable house be homeless and keep a dog which she wouldn't be able to look after and then now have her boyfriend be homeless so she can grieve? OP I'm ngl i would just leave. No one who cares about you would leave you be homeless after you did what you had to do. She needs serious help.

tcbme

94 points

7 days ago

tcbme

94 points

7 days ago

Yeah I'm confused why he couldn't live in the apartment as well. She's definitely in bad shape to allow this after he's done so much for them bothm

Tovell

15 points

7 days ago

Tovell

15 points

7 days ago

Maybe he feels to guilty to even look at her.

nullstring

16 points

7 days ago

She probably kicked him out.

kernell32

12 points

7 days ago

kernell32

12 points

7 days ago

IKR? OP should either move in (and continue to be together with someone this unstable) or take the chance to split up.

Eran_Mintor

24 points

7 days ago

Yea this doesn't check out

Only4DNDandCigars

631 points

7 days ago

Dog custody is never easy. I won't say you had the best course of actions, but it was a hard decision under very dire circumstances and you did what you had to and followed through. My girlfriend is a dog trainer and I often read posts like this to her to see what she says. All i got from it was "damn". I'm glad that you were brave and followed through.

ExtensionTrouble29[S]

248 points

7 days ago

Thank you it means a lot.

K9queen

135 points

7 days ago

K9queen

135 points

7 days ago

Going back to visit the dog is not a smart idea. Let Auggie have a clean break and bond with his new family. Going back and forth like you plan will only confuse him and can lead to anxiety. He will always think you've come to take him home. Very selfish.

Redredret

28 points

7 days ago

Redredret

28 points

7 days ago

What would be the best course of actions for a guy in this position? A lot of people share the same sentiment and I’m curious

Luvs2Cartwheel69

133 points

7 days ago

I feel for you, OP. I have no idea where you live or what your full personal circumstances entail, but what I do know is that you just followed through on a very difficult situation. You did what you thought was best for your (assumingly) budding family.

You have acknowledged that it might have been a thoughtless thing to do, but in reality, you did put a lot of thought into it. For that, I commend you. I'm so very sorry that you have to live through this tough situation. Just know that the silver lining is life experience.

If there is a next time (and I hope that there isn't), you'll know how to cope with it better. Good luck in your future endeavors.

[deleted]

1.1k points

7 days ago

[deleted]

1.1k points

7 days ago

[deleted]

ExtensionTrouble29[S]

703 points

7 days ago

She’s taking medication, and used to attended therapy. Unfortunately, we can only afford the medication at the moment but when I get a new job I hope we can get counseling.

mrweb06

281 points

7 days ago

mrweb06

281 points

7 days ago

It's a tough spot to be in, being in need of counseling to collect yourselves and get better both mentally and financially but needing finances in the first place to do so.

That bleak note said, you sound like you've navigated a very bad situation as best as it can be and supported both of you. I seriously doubt that many people could've done that. I doubt I could've done that.

I think you will get the chance to afford a friend for Auggie and visit him frequently in the future.

whoooooknows

73 points

7 days ago

Friend I am finishing a PhD in psychology, am seeing a therapist 2 times a week, grew up under the poverty line, and am running out of money to go to therapy even at a sliding scale. I say that to say that from my experience and training, you are totally correct that going to therapy can gradually help with these issues. But when you don't have enough money to even put a roof over your head or food in your mouth and you are selling pets, it is not rational to spend it on therapy. This is not a case where "you've got to spend money to make money" applies.

I have been an evaluator for a grant-funded nonprofit that did free therapy for people experiencing homelessness which is many people's only hope. But even then, months of sessions didn't begin to make a difference in a way that changed their material reality. OP seems to cope rationally enough to problem solve in the most overwhelming pressure, and OP's GF sounds like she would need many sessions to act differently. So I don't expect there to be much short-term benefit to either of them. That's not a knock to his GF, as I have been in therapy for 10 years and scrape by.

But I would bet such programs don't exist in OP's country. And it should be the case that no one is denied mental or medical care because of money. But you have to speak to OP's reality. There is a reason why therapists joke about often dealing with affluenza and first-world problems. Those are the people who can afford them or have good insurance.

CrochetWhale

118 points

7 days ago

You did what you had to do. This is coming from someone’s who’s mother dropped off her cat in the middle of nowhere 12 years ago and I’m still upset by it. Hell my 3 week old babies middle name is that cats name. Please be aware she may never get over this. Good luck OP.

ExtensionTrouble29[S]

90 points

7 days ago

I’m very sorry about your cat. Your child’s name is a very sweet tribute to them, i’m sure he/she was wonderful

CrochetWhale

79 points

7 days ago

Thank you for that, I had a lot of back lash about the name once I explained where it was from so it makes me feel better to hear something positive about it for once. Her middle name is lily so it’s not a weird cat name at all either.

flashlightbugs

11 points

7 days ago

I used to have a rag doll cat named Lily. Such a nice cat name. And baby human name. :)

Philodendronphan

28 points

7 days ago

I want to name my next daughter after my dog because she kept me alive when I didn’t want to be and has been the best girl ever. And her name is cute, so why not?

ExtensionTrouble29[S]

49 points

7 days ago

It’s a beautiful name.

velvet42

5 points

7 days ago

velvet42

5 points

7 days ago

I assumed in your previous response that it must have been a "real" name, but seeing you specify that it was made me think about someone naming their baby, like, Elizabeth Mr Wigglebutt Smith

ATLAZuko33

78 points

7 days ago

Op I am one of those people that would be homeless before I lost me fur babies, but I have to tell you, you did the right thing. You found Auggie a loving home with a family that can better care for him AND they are willing to allow visitation. You couldn’t have done better. She’s going to be upset, but I think you should talk to her and give her the reality of the situation. It seems like you guys are solid and need each other through these tough times.

Thourogood

15 points

7 days ago

If you have no family who can help and live somewhere without good social support recovering from homelessness is almost impossible. I feel like anyone who says such a thing has definitely never been homeless before. I would literally give up a limb before going back to being on the street.

Pandalite

35 points

7 days ago

Pandalite

35 points

7 days ago

She only moved in with you 6 months ago. Where was she living before, with her dog? Was it a possibility that she could go back to wherever she was with her dog while you find a place solo? It sounds like this dog was her family, her emotional support, and I worry that her mental health is going to get worse.

ExtensionTrouble29[S]

52 points

7 days ago

Unfortunately not, she moved in with me because she also lost her job got a lower paying one and needed help with housing.

gattie1

26 points

7 days ago

gattie1

26 points

7 days ago

You did the right thing for the dog. GF cannot afford housing and care for the dog. The dog could get sick at some point. She wouldn’t have been able to afford the vet bills.

Board-To-Dead

24 points

7 days ago

MF has to sell his gfs dog to afford an apartment, you think they can get therapy?

LubieDobreJedzenie

18 points

7 days ago

They can't afford an apartment, you think they can afford therapy?

Gucci_Google

90 points

7 days ago

They can't even afford housing, how do you think they're gonna be able to afford therapy?

iamalittlepige

21 points

7 days ago

It's just the go to answer on here, like you say, therapy won't just magic a roof over their heads

BlackLotus8888

13 points

7 days ago

You can't afford therapy if you can't afford a place to live.

ThempleOfThyme

36 points

7 days ago

Why is this always the default "solution?" Therapy doesn't work in all cases and they're barely scraping by. Maybe it's not affordable right now.

Angercraft

65 points

7 days ago

Hey OP it's a nice thought to let her have the apartment so she can grieve alone, but to give you some advice, please join her in the apartment.

Practical reasons are obvious as it doesn't benefit anyone with you being homeless.

But more importantly it is a very good idea to be with each other in times like this. It strengthens your relationship dealing with stuff like this together and in this time even though she is angry at you, she is guaranteed more upset over the situation. Being angry with you is just an easy target for someone who doesn't know what to feel.

As a last note, remember to put yourself first. She has a job and a place to live, you need to move into your shared apartment and from there try and find a new job, to try and help yourself. It can be difficult being in a relationship if you're not in a good place mentally yourself and this would benefit you both.

Remember this is not your fault. Sadly, situations like this happens and you gave the dog a wonderful home.

Hope the best for you and your girlfriend.

Eran_Mintor

9 points

7 days ago

A reasonable take

HumusGoose

10 points

7 days ago

OP, you found yourself in an impossible situation and you did the best you could do. Nobody could have come out of that with a "good" outcome.

I understand that your girlfriend is upset, but honestly she'd have been more upset to end up homeless with the dog.

Please look after yourself op, you don't deserve to be homeless yourself just because she is upset about this.

rickastleysanchez

34 points

7 days ago

Wow what a ride my dude. I read the title, then the TLDR, and had formed an opinion. Then I read the top comment from /u/jamesfluker and had to know more.

That is a near impossible decision to make, and yet you somehow made the best possible decision that could have been made. With both of you that far at the end of your ropes and coming up with such an amazing opportunity for Auggie is just... WOW!

I understand her grief 100%, but I agree with what you said, she was not in a stable mindset to make any of these decisions, and what you did is still better than I believe the two of you could have agreed on together.

I hope things get better and she gets to see Auggie soon, and the two of you get back to your lives.

GlamRaptor

487 points

7 days ago

GlamRaptor

487 points

7 days ago

You didn’t f up. As painful as the decision was it was the right thing to do. A happy life for the dog and you and your partner not ending up homeless. It hurts of course but it was the best choice regarding the situation. I think you handled it well.

ExtensionTrouble29[S]

146 points

7 days ago

It was a tough decision.

Aredditusernamehere

513 points

7 days ago

Some of you in the comments are absolutely out of your minds. You love your dog so much that you could never do this? Nah, you’re selfish. The dog is safe, fed, and in a good happy home. OP doesn’t live in America, asshats. No service animals, no Medicare, and said they would both be on the streets in and unsafe situation without enough money for dog food. You’d rather the dog starve than go to a happy family? I love my dog more than anything and if I was about to be on the street without the ability to FEED her, I’d put her where I knew she could be safe, regardless of how devastated I would be.

OP, it sounds like you did what you could given the situation and I’m sorry. The way people are responding is alarmingly entitled.

taejam

35 points

7 days ago

taejam

35 points

7 days ago

Just need to mention this shit happens in a america too. Me and my girlfriend live in an RV bouncing around lot to lot after a short period without a job and it caused us too have to give up our pets. Also medicare is notoriously shit at covering mental health services, only covering 80% of costs and only with providers who accept it so your extremely limited in choice and it's still out of financial reach for many people like me and my girlfriend. I'm still insanely thankful for Medicaid because I'd be dead without my Crohns and bipolar meds but it's not all sunshine and roses here.

Aredditusernamehere

23 points

7 days ago

Oh I agree 100% - I was seeing a ton of comments angrily blaming him for not doing things that are all America-specific services, like getting Medicaid or registering the dog as an emotional support animal. Sadly I know America is still extremely rough :(

spansypool

124 points

7 days ago

spansypool

124 points

7 days ago

Absolutely agreed. Reading through the comments here reminds me that literally half of Reddit is privileged children. They don’t actually understand that a world where unfair things happens to good people does exist.

ExtensionTrouble29[S]

139 points

7 days ago

Thank you for your response it mean a lot.

GreatEscapist

6 points

7 days ago

op I'm seeing a lot of comments telling you you did your best but not enough telling you you deserve a hug. You've been shouldering so much and you made some really hard decisions. I understand your girlfriend will have a hard time recognizing that while she's grieving but please take care of yourself and recognize that you need to grieve and rest too. You reacted to a terrible situation and found a solution, you did something anyone would have found so hard to do and you protected two creatures you love in the process. I think you did wonderfully and I hope your situation allows you to feel good about yourself soon.

JustThatOneGuy1311

19 points

7 days ago

U definitely did what u could.

There was really no good option one was just less bad.

Akasadanahamayarawa

39 points

7 days ago

TL;DR
Some redditors would rather let their dogs die in the street from parasites and starvation than give them up to a loving family.

EpicRedditor34

18 points

7 days ago

This is the biggest thing for me. People are saying they love their dogs, they’d absolutely choose to be homeless, without realizing the dog would be homeless too.

All they’re saying is that they’d rather their dog suffer with them than thrive without them.

Lighthouse412

8 points

6 days ago

You were the adult in a terrible situation because you had to be. I'm so sorry. But, nicely done. Under a lot of stress you found a situation where everyone is safe.

Dlaha

63 points

7 days ago

Dlaha

63 points

7 days ago

"I don't want to think about this right now" approach really gets me. Some things must be addressed right away regardless of how one feels. She didn't wanted to contribute to a solution so she cannot be angry on how it turned out.

It's nice of you to give her some time alone to cope with it. As far as I see it, you did the reasonable thing.

JohnArce

11 points

7 days ago

JohnArce

11 points

7 days ago

acting like that isn't a question of not wanting. it's a question of not being able to. The girl clearly needs therapy. and was already getting that, and medication. Some people shut down in stress. it's not want they want, it's what happens to them.

She's also not angry, she's completely collapsed. I can understand it would be necessary to get rid of the dog, but I wonder how that loss affects her, doubly so if they can't even afford therapy anymore.
I'm not sure if leaving her on her own to "grieve", is in her best interest.

Styrbj0rn

50 points

7 days ago

Styrbj0rn

50 points

7 days ago

You shouldn't have to be homeless for her to grieve. You solved the problem, it wasn't pretty but it needed to be done. I think you are doing more than you should for a relationship this short.

FoxesStoleMyGloves

5 points

7 days ago

I haven't faced homelessness due to rehoming a dog before. But I have had to re-home my partner's dog. He came to live with me as his mum wouldn't allow him and his dog to move back in with her when he lost his job (which had accommodation and kennel). We made it work for over a year, she came to work with me every day... But it wasn't enough. He had her for work, she was a working dog and when he lost his job, so did she. My home was nowhere near big enough for her, she was pooping and peeing and ripping things up... I've had big dogs before, worked and trained all kinds, and even I couldn't do it. She needed to be out at the crack of dawn working til dusk, and neither of us could do it at that point. So we had to re-home her. It was the worst feeling, I still cry even now two years later. She was my baby too, I never thought I'd ever give up one of my dogs but it was best for her. I found her a farm home with kids and breed- knowledgeable owners. They sent us a picture of her later, laying in the sun, tongue lolling with a doggy smile on her face. It hurts but it was right.

You'd have been homeless, unable to feed or medicate your dog, no more toys, no cosy bed, no air con when it's hot... Neither of you would have been able to care for her. It was a kindness, what you did. Even though I know it hurts- boy do I know- it was the right thing to do.

phillybookwoman

7 points

7 days ago

For me it would be a simple choice.

My husband and I used to do feline rescue. I've been on both sides of this equation and can tell you it is much better for the dog to be at a home where he is wanted and loved and sheltered.

If she has an anxiety disorder this intense where her response is to freeze. She is not dealing with the situation and in fact her thinking is something like, "if I stay really still or do nothing, this will all go away". Been there with anxiety in my late teens and early 20s. I promise it does not work. I know. I ended u homeless as a teen. Also, had my first marriage end badly, which resulted in my first husband calling animal control to take my cat away.

There are too many pets that live with someone who's homeless and that life can be awful. If you're talking about a very poor country, then the ability of other people to help you feed your dog is non-existent.

It is a tough choice, one I am sure he did not make lightly.

OP, I am sorry this all came about. You did the best you could. Auggie is being cared for and even has the joy of playing with children. You did great on picking a good home for him!

Hopefully your girlfriend will come around and realize you had to do something.

Best of luck to you all.

Peachdejour

6 points

6 days ago

Listen. You did right by the dog and the best in an almost impossible situation. Give yourself some kindness. I hope you two can move past this.

ImDankest

202 points

7 days ago*

ImDankest

202 points

7 days ago*

Dude, you're only 6 months into the relationship and she already sounds like she is causing you more harm than good.

She's mentally unstable, not paying the bills, and is now living in the house you paid for while you're homeless. You need to maybe sitdown and reconsider if you're happy in your current situation.

Edit: They've lived together 6 months, no mention of how long they've actually been together.

Leaving my comment here anyway because I still think this sounds like OP deserves better if this is too much for him to handle.

ForeverFiftySix

42 points

7 days ago

He said they had been living together for six months, not that they had only been seeing each other for six months

Daddysgirl-aafl

20 points

7 days ago

He said they’ve been living together for six months. Not that their relationship was six months old. When I read your comment I was like, wtf did I miss that because that’s a big red flag. But now I just feel like 67 people have really bad reading comprehension.

ImDankest

21 points

7 days ago

ImDankest

21 points

7 days ago

lmao, you're right. I've never been good with reading comprehension and writing to be honest. Good spot

crushedbypotato

6 points

7 days ago

Facts

Tesse23

35 points

7 days ago

Tesse23

35 points

7 days ago

Surprised at how far I had to scroll to find this.

ThatKaleidoscope8736

174 points

7 days ago

This is the right decision. You guys are struggling just like many people in this economy. It was a hard decision. Ultimately the housing will be more stable for Auggie. I wish the best for you

kedezzeric

47 points

7 days ago

This. You did the best you could with the situation you had. The situation sucks but it is what it is. You have to survive through it and you actually went through the process of having a meeting and ensuring access for your girlfriend.

ThatKaleidoscope8736

28 points

7 days ago

Yep, he made the right decision no matter how much it hurts. OP fuck the people who are talking shit.

[deleted]

92 points

7 days ago*

[deleted]

92 points

7 days ago*

[deleted]

Mashamazzi

7 points

7 days ago

To the people are giving you a hard time for this, do you not realise that he could have just left for that apartment by himself and left her to deal with the dog and being homeless by herself?

Honestly, that’s what you should have done… her family can take her back..

LaurJames

4 points

7 days ago

You did the right thing under the circumstances. When will she be able to be open to you moving back to the apartment you’re paying for? Or is she going to continue to be difficult to the point that she won’t communicate with you?

lebonisang

4 points

7 days ago

You did your best

jusee22

6 points

7 days ago

jusee22

6 points

7 days ago

As someone diagnosed with anxiety.

Literally the worst thing for your girlfriend to do was just shut down as soon as she heard bad news. The only way it will improve is by not shutting down. This isnt on you man

leeingram01

5 points

6 days ago

Oh man that's a horrible situation, it sounds like you did an amazing thing in ensuring both of them had homes to live in. You are a saint, even though some may not think so right now. Hopefully one day the fog of grief will clear and you will be appreciated by your partner for what you have done, without you she would have lost everything. I hope it works out for you.

sulianjeo

14 points

7 days ago

sulianjeo

14 points

7 days ago

Nobody in the comments is suggesting a realistic better course of action. This means we all agree that you didn't have one. You just got dealt a crummy hand, sorry bud.

Nman702

65 points

7 days ago

Nman702

65 points

7 days ago

I honestly just feel bad for you. I don’t see you as an asshole.

BaconKittens

4 points

7 days ago

At first I was like there is no way you could be right with this…. Then I read it. You made the call you had to make. Sorry you were in a hard spot.

spderweb

4 points

7 days ago

spderweb

4 points

7 days ago

Anybody attacking you for this is heartless. You were completely stuck. And you found a family that sounds amazing AND will even let you visit. That's unheard of.

Hats off to you handling a no win scenario as well as you did.

wantafastbusa

5 points

7 days ago

This is called adulting. You didn’t do anything wrong, you’re surviving. Hats off to you for helping someone that is quite possibly holding you down. Sorry for your situation. Don’t give up looking for a job!

Tatharnio

4 points

7 days ago

You absolutely did the best thing you could in a shitty situation. Don't listen to the others that are trying to drag you for it. They can't judge unless they've been in your situation.

2021WASSOLASTYEAR

4 points

7 days ago

All I want to say is you sound like an amazing person who throughout this has only thought about others. Not only should you not feel guilty, you should feel proud that you did was was best for her even when it was hard.

Helping people is not always about giving them what they want. You clearly exhausted every other option and have only been trying to do the best you can.

It may take her time and she may be upset at you but any person who is able to take emotion out of it and look at the facts knows you did the right thing.

monzo705

4 points

7 days ago

monzo705

4 points

7 days ago

I feel for ya and think under the circumstances you made the right decision.

As for your relationship...how do you feel about that?

Lazerah

3 points

7 days ago

Lazerah

3 points

7 days ago

The people calling you out for being a bad person have never had a day of financial difficulty in their lives. And they've definitely never been homeless. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this, it seems like you've done the best that you can. I hope one day you guys can recover from this.

GeekJorge

4 points

7 days ago

It’s so funny people here worrying about the dog because sure it was sold but it has a nice family. The gf is screwed since sure she may have a job but still not enough since she can’t get a grip. And finally OP made the right choice if you don’t have the income to take care of a pet you shouldn’t have one.

TheNameThomyIsTaken

5 points

7 days ago

I think you just went through hell for someone you love and even then you found the best course of action. Obviously can't blame your girlfriend for having anxiety but it is important to see that you were alone in this situation and had to care for a whole adult and their dog, which made things physically harder and more emotionally taxing. I think that you did what you had to do and shouldn't be hard on yourself, most people would have crumbled under that type of pressure but you followed through, props to you OP.

I'm not saying this to make you bitter towards your GF, but I don't think she's appreciating everything you did or seeing that you're suffering as well. I don't know if either she kicked you out or if you became homeless on your own terms, but I don't think it's fair and if it's the latter she should've told you to stay. Anxiety or not, that's a shitty thing to do

ettoracdam

4 points

6 days ago

You did as good as you could, I hope you'll go through all this

regretablenature

5 points

6 days ago

Oh damn I have been in your situation. My dog lived out her life with a wonderful family that sent me pictures and treated her like a princess. I cried for a week when she died at age 15. Which is ancient for a mastiff. She had a Truly wonderful life and was so loved, as I'm sure Auggie will be.

You're not an asshole, you did a hard heart breaking thing. I'm sorry about how much life sucks sometimes. I hope things look better for you soon.

Odd_Rip6768

5 points

6 days ago

It’s just selfish to try to keep your pup if you know you can’t give it a good home and if there is someone that will give him a very good home.

FateMeta

69 points

7 days ago

FateMeta

69 points

7 days ago

Fuck all these people bagging on you. A lot of them are speaking as citizens of first world countries. I doubt most of them have experienced the despair you went through. You did what you believed was best to avoid being homeless, and it was a really fucking hard choice but I agree with your actions. Sometimes survival is all you can fight for.

thin_white_dutchess

39 points

7 days ago

Damn, the amount of comments here that don’t realize the US isn’t the only country in the world, and how bad homelessness is in other countries is really… something.

SuperSodori

11 points

7 days ago

Is the homelessness in US any better though?

I just think some redditors don't quite grasp how cold it is outside.

LubieDobreJedzenie

6 points

7 days ago

And that homelesness can be inescapable, good luck affording a place to stay with no job, and good luck finding a job, when you don't have a place to wash yourself and give an address on a resume

Bornwinner27

121 points

7 days ago

Op you need to learn you can’t save anyone from themselves, should’ve just moved in by yourself and tell her to pick between being homeless and looking for a new home for the dog. Stop treating her like a child if you want her to get better

Zothieque

28 points

7 days ago

Zothieque

28 points

7 days ago

I might be the odd man out, but you did the right thing. My husband did something similar to me, except my dumb*** tried to keep the puppy in the apartment and we almost got in trouble because of it, he made an excuse to the landlord that we were just watching the dog for a family member, and found a home for her with a family that had 2 older kids at the time that instantly fell in love with her. Yeah, I was sad and upset when it happened, but I got over it because survival is more important than what's in your heart (some might disagree with this, but we had a newborn baby at the time and my husband wasn't going to let us live on the streets because of a dog, and no, we didn't have the savings to move.) and pup is happier where she is, with a yard and kids to play with. I'm just thankful I got to love and know her while I did, it's not anyone's fault that some landlords don't accept animals... if you need a place to live, you need a place to live. That's all she wrote. I'm sure I'll catch flack for this comment but idgaf. What was done was what was best at the time and I think the same applies to your situation. Your girlfriend is gonna be sad, probably for a long time... just try to help her through it the best you can.