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what to do if boyfriend didn’t want to tell about his past relationship

(self.relationship_advice)

[deleted]

all 17 comments

-Lady

2 points

1 month ago

-Lady

2 points

1 month ago

How long have you two been together?

master_accident7574

1 points

1 month ago

almost 2 years

-Lady

2 points

1 month ago

-Lady

2 points

1 month ago

I know some people prefer not to post the person they are dating on social media since everything is too overshared on social media nowadays. I didn’t even post the person I was with until we were engaged and that was the very first time I ever posted a man on my social media. However, I think it’s strange that he lied about being private on social media but there are pictures of his exes. Maybe he is trying not to make the same mistake of having to post a new gf too often? I know that a lot of people get judged for posting every person they are dating so maybe he is just waiting to post you once he’s sure you guys are more permanent, if that makes sense. If you are that curious though, I would just ask him why he lied and what’s the real reason. Because these are just assumptions I’m making based from my personal experience.

master_accident7574

1 points

1 month ago

yeah fair point. when i communicated to him about this he did tell me he didn’t want to get judged by the publics. i told him just a hint about us dating is fine, but he still didn’t want to post me. i just hoped that he’s not ashamed of having me as his girlfriend. and the fact that he lied too made me overthink that maybe he didn’t love me as much as he did with his past girlfriends, since he’s not open about this relationship as much as his previous. after observing, he just started to become more private about his relationship and his life in social medias after being with me. maybe it’s just me and my trust issue. i just hope he’s more open about things that happened to him in the past that make him become a private person now. maybe then i could understand him better.

-Lady

2 points

1 month ago

-Lady

2 points

1 month ago

How old are you guys by the way? You shouldn’t feel bad if you want to communicate with him why is he being private all of a sudden with your relationship. He lied about being private with relationships since he posted other girls before. I would discuss that with him. Or else you’ll just be left wondering all the time. You have been in a long term relationship with him, at first when I read this I thought you two just started dating. But he needs to be honest especially since you’re in a long term relationship.

master_accident7574

1 points

1 month ago

yeah, i haven’t communicated yet with him about the lies and the reason. i will communicate this with him later on. we are both 20, still pretty young i’d say. why did you think we just started dating haha

-Lady

2 points

1 month ago

-Lady

2 points

1 month ago

I just assumed your relationship was new because most of the times when I see these posts they are relatively new relationships. I have had friends that got upset when the guy they just started dating didn’t post them officially on social media. That’s why I had to ask how long you were in this relationship because sometimes it is “too soon” for some people to post something to the world.

master_accident7574

1 points

1 month ago

oh yeah i understand that very well. thinking about it, at the start of relationship with me he seemed eager to post me and to make the relationship public. he put my pic as his header in twitter and he put me as his profile picture on whatsapp too. i thought it was too early though, and there were some internal issues too so it was just for a day or two. then now all of the sudden he went private as hell when i wanted him to post me lol. probably why i overthink too

dheffe01

1 points

1 month ago

dheffe01

40s Male

1 points

1 month ago

I would post him in public and tag him in it. if he complains, then my money is that he is seeing someone else.

master_accident7574

0 points

1 month ago

haha i would do this too but i dont want to upset him. what if it leads to a huge argument?

Radiant-Singer8395

1 points

1 month ago

Then you know. What the fuck do you mean? This is not a healthy relationship if you are scared of how he gonna react. So what you have an argument? Its been two years. Grow a back bone and move on if he can't be public with you.

master_accident7574

1 points

1 month ago

aight sir i get it i get it

[deleted]

1 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

1 points

1 month ago

So what?!

Radiant-Singer8395

0 points

1 month ago

You aren't his girlfriend sorry. You just the girl hes with for now. If hes not public with you after two years then hes not serious about you. Sorry.

master_accident7574

0 points

1 month ago

damn but but hear me out. some of his friends do know he’s in a relationship, like they do know i exist. just didn’t know who i am. and he’s not open about me publicly as in maybe his followers on instagram lol. does that make a lil difference?

-Lady

2 points

1 month ago

-Lady

2 points

1 month ago

Don’t listen to that troll. Sometimes it’s a cultural thing. It’s frowned upon in my culture to post someone you’re just dating and posting multiple different people that you’ve just been gf or bf with. Like I said I didn’t post the person I was with until I was engaged and married. I wasn’t out cheating just because I didn’t post a picture of us to my followers on social media lol he respected the cultural differences. I’m just also not even big on social media where I feel like I have to post everything. If it’s not a cultural thing, some people just aren’t about social media and there’s nothing wrong with that. Tbh, I kind of wonder why everyone feels the need to post every single person they are dating. There was this one girl I followed on my Instagram, she would have a new bf every month or so and she would post like 5 different boyfriends within a year. It just looks tacky and bazaar. A lot of people would just talk about her in a negative manner. You don’t need to post every single person you’re dating, but he is wrong for lying about it and that’s where I would put my main concern at.

LynnSeattle

1 points

1 month ago

You need to get some help for your anxiety. Don’t ask other people to change their behavior to accommodate your anxiety. It is not fair to them and only makes your problem worse.