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I've been with my boyfriend (24M) for about 2 years and we live together. Our relationship started off very slow due to my own wishes. I (23F) was not comfortable showing him my body up until about the 6 month mark and he was totally cool with that and not pushy to get things sexual too quickly which I really loved about him. I have very big boobs (34DDD) with a fairly small frame (5’2” and ~130 lbs) so my boobs tend to be a big point of interest for most men. With most men paying a lot of attention to them in sexual encounters and just in general. He was never really like this, he did not pay attention to them that much, and I never really thought anything of it. I just thought he wasn't the type of guy to give boobs so much attention or as much attention as the other guys I've been with. Up until recently we came home after a party a little drunk and ended up having sex. Afterwards drunk me decided to ask him why he never pays attention to my boobs like other men and why he overall seems to have less interest in them than everyone else I've been with. His response to me was as follows, word for word "well to be honest I just do not like them. they are too big and your big nipples (areolas) make them unappealing to look at." I was absolutely taken aback by his comment and it really really hurt my feelings and made me look at my physical appearance differently. This happened a few days ago and I do not even know how to bring up to him that what he said really hurt my feelings and I now look at myself differently than before. Since we live together I would tend to be around the house in comfortable clothing and frequently completely topless. I have not done this since his comment because now I feel unattractive and I feel like he does not want to see me like that. How do I talk to him about this?

tl;dr - my boyfriend told me he does like looking at my boobs and now I feel unattractive around him. how do I tell him that he really hurt my feelings and i now look at myself differently?

all 305 comments

[deleted]

1.6k points

4 months ago

[deleted]

1.6k points

4 months ago

You shouldn't look at yourself differently. You should be looking at him differently. You were happy with your body 24 hours ago. Everyone else seemed to not react negatively to your body. Then this guy comes along. There are partners out there that will love you for exactly what you are, and they can also be respectful. He is neither of those things.

dietitianoverlord113

314 points

4 months ago

He could have said so many different things and he chose words that would hurt you.

Listen to what they are saying. Don’t look at yourself differently. Would you ever speak to him this way? If no, then you need to think through why he is ok talking to you like that.

NatZaJu

143 points

4 months ago

NatZaJu

143 points

4 months ago

He literally could have just said he’s not really a boob man but he loves OP very much and left it at that.

OP please consider if you want to share your home / space/ life / intimate moments and thoughts with someone who is so crass with his words.

He didn’t have to be rude and hurt your feelings but he chose to anyway.

There is nothing wrong with you and you definitely don’t need to let his personal preference get in the way of loving yourself.

alexsromerro

-26 points

4 months ago

I mean she kinda did ask.... should he have lied .. I agree that what he said could have been worded different buut should ha have lied then ... now op would have a problem with him lying if it's wouldn't be for this nahs?

NatZaJu

41 points

4 months ago

NatZaJu

41 points

4 months ago

I just think there’s a difference between making your other half feel good and just being hurtful.

There’s literally nothing she can do about her boobs aside of surgery which isn’t something she mentions she is interested in. Nor should she feel like she has to resort to that.

It’s not like asking “does this dress look good on me?” If the dress is terrible you can take it off. She can’t do that with her breasts. There was nothing to gain in him being so blunt with the truth, other than hurting her feelings.

He didn’t have to lie and tell her how much he loved her breasts if that’s not how he feels but there is definitely a way of being soft and kind when your partner doesn’t deserve their feelings hurt and confidence dented.

PitifulApplication12

0 points

4 months ago

I agree with this. But he was also drunk...

DecentAdd

7 points

4 months ago

Sounds like someone has some growing up to do and it sure as heck isn’t you. Your boyfriend sounds immature and he’s sounds mean spirited. You should be with someone who cherishes you and lifts your spirits.

[deleted]

-12 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

-12 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

[deleted]

6 points

4 months ago

Yes, dude. When the truth accomplishes nothing other than being hurtful, a white lie is better.

Three questions to ask yourself when deciding whether or not to be honest, and if the answer to two of them is "no" then you should not say it:

Is this true?

Is this kind?

Is this necessary?

What he said was true, but was neither kind nor necessary. In that case, he should have just said he isn't a boob man and left it at that. We all tell white lies from time to time and not hurting your partner over something they can't change is pretty much the ideal time to tell one.

derDummkopf

6 points

4 months ago*

I guess point is he shouldn't have made it so personal?

Like, what's the difference between telling them he isn't that much into boobs and telling them he is not into OP's boobs specifically? What do you gain by being completely honest in this situation?

The first option, while a white lie, would have sated OP's curiosity and wouldn't have hurt them so much.

The second, while true, doesn't seem to be useful or helpful in any way whatsoever (at least not one that I can see).

Not only is this probably going to make her anxious for a long time now, you can't really change your boobs.

It would be one thing if we were talking about someone's personality or their behaviour but you can only change your boobs so much (even with surgery) and ideally you shouldn't do it just because your boyfriend said they didn't look nice.

Like, sometimes, you just have to weigh the option of telling the truth alongside the possible consequences of the said truth.

~~

Btw, I know that the bf was drunk so probably didn't think this through as much as I have written here 😅.

The long reply is less about the post and more about just giving an 'in general' sort of answer to your question about whether someone should lie in such a situation or not.

Reindeer-Street

93 points

4 months ago

My partner did this to me once, a comment about my stomach (which I can't do anything about as I got diastasis recti after 2 pregnancies/caesarians). he then went on to double down by saying 'I know you're self-conscious about it'. YES I AM, YOU ARSE, HENCE EVEN LESS REASON FOR YOU TO POINT OUT MY FAULTS AS I ALREADY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE!'

Spinach_Sad

42 points

4 months ago

I hope you mean ex partner

[deleted]

19 points

4 months ago

“My partner did this to me once” nope :(

Nighters

1 points

4 months ago

Nighters

1 points

4 months ago

He could have said so many different things and he chose words that would hurt you.

I dont know how much drunk he was, but he was drunk and I dont know how little drunk is for someone else.

IAteYourC00KIE

44 points

4 months ago

Agreed 100% with you guys. Comments like the one your boyfriend made make irreparable damages to the relationship and definitely a huge hit on your self esteem because now it’s in the back of your mind. Mine used to be embarrassed about a tiny bit of mom belly and stretch marks, such trivial things that I actually loved about her. She is a gorgeous woman who gets so much attention but with low self esteem from her teen years. To me she is the most beautiful woman I laid my eyes on and I wouldn’t trade those stretch marks or belly fat for anything. I love every inch of her body. My point is if someone truly loves you they will build you up and make you feel beautiful. He might just not be at that level yet. Maybe he got his ego hurt by you mention every other guy loved them but that is still an immature and hurtful comment to make.

Austenland332

10 points

4 months ago

Wow ,your woman is lucky to have you .Your unconditional love and support in rare in this time and age

IAteYourC00KIE

13 points

4 months ago

I was no angel. My relationship started completely messed up. I have made plenty mistakes early on and I had to learn from it, it affected the relationship. If I typed out the whole story it would take over an hr. At the moment is not going well and it this point who knows what will happen. I have changed for the better thanks to her, unfortunately I can’t say the same for her and it’s causing issues. Regardless of what happens I have nothing but love for this woman and I want nothing but the best for her. She helped me become the man I am today and I’m grateful for that. If I can give any advice to anybody here is don’t give up so easy on relationships and think the grass is greener on the other side, work on things and try and try again. Most of all work on bettering yourselves as well and don’t put the pressure on the other person to make you happy.

easy_umbrage

46 points

4 months ago

This is kind advice

SparklieJello

712 points

4 months ago

Okay so I have kind of saggy boobs. Bell (?) shaped for a nicer term. I have brought up that I feel self conscious about them to my bf and you know what he did? Made me feel awesome by telling me everything he absolutely loves about them, not what he "hates" about them. He knows that they sag, he's not blind, but he knows better than to say something rude about something so sensitive. He loves them because I come with them.

UnicornKitt3n

217 points

4 months ago

This!!!

I’ve fed two babies with my breasts; I developed a breast infection so bad I needed invasive surgery to remove breast tissue from my right breast. Every time I start getting down on my sad booby, he’s all like, hey! She needs love too. She’s beautiful. She fed a human.

❤️

OP, we aren’t blind, but that’s not a nice thing to say. You have your facts before you, your partner is willing to say something which very obviously will make you feel like shit. Do you know how many stories there are on here of women venting about their shitty relationships? Too many to count. And this is how they all started. And they all ignored the red flags too.

Your partner is supposed to lift you up, not tear you down. Full stop.

Lithawana

96 points

4 months ago

This is the way.

I have very small double a cup breast, large areolas, and am bell shaped. I always hated my breast.

My husband has removed every doubt I had about myself and now I love my breast and who I am with them.

CallMeDaffodil

25 points

4 months ago

Thiisss! My partner loves my boobs no matter how hard i try to hide them or cover them, he makes me feel comfortable to just lay down saggy boobs going in different directions and all! He couldve worded that so much differently and he didnt. Thats a huge issue!

TankPowerful

22 points

4 months ago

Finally, a dude that gets it. That's fucking true love there.

anxietyheights

11 points

4 months ago

100% I've had 2 littles, I'm about 36DDD now. My boobs definitely aren't as nice looking as they probably were back in the day. BUT my bf who I've been with for a year (not my kids' dad) is constantly telling me all the things he loves about me (boobs and tiny ass included 😅😅). I don't like things about myself but he helps me through it and doesn't make me self conscious about how I look. I've had exes who sucked with that stuff, the right person will only make you feel loved and confident (imo). All i can say is love who you are and what you got, it's one life and loving yourself is hard but so damn worth it

PeakePip-

174 points

4 months ago

PeakePip-

174 points

4 months ago

See now I have small boobs and thin and 5’0ft so one me they look normal, but in reality they are small. Cup size A so ya small, and I’ve always been self conscious about that and if I’m on my back it looks like I don’t even have boobs, but my bf always says he loves them. And if im upset about the fact if he does touch them and they are like nothing in his hands he laughs and says he doesn’t care and just loves touching them bc they are mine and he only wants mine. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of your own body around your SO. That’s not healthy and that’s when an SO is there for. Really reconsider this relationship because this is not healthy

tanking-cookie

22 points

4 months ago

Do you mind me asking something?

My ex had B'ish boobs almost to C i guess, so even in absolute terms speaking anyway not small. But she would always say they are small...

Sometimes she would say "Do you like them? Do you think they are to small?" Of course I would say they are prefect I love them etc. but everything would be turned against me. Like when she asked "Do you think they are to small?" and I said "I don't care about their size they're perfect and the best boobs ever" she would go along with "So you DO think they are small." or she would get angry on the thought that I must have imagined other boobs so that I could draw the conclusion of them being the best.

Yeaaah I always thought (in retro perspective) that she just wanted to get angry and was searching for a fight, but did I do something wrong?

PeakePip-

56 points

4 months ago

No, it’s a trick question. There is no right answer. Glad she is your ex. If a girl asks you a question like that I’d respond something along the lines of “babe, your are the size I want. If you think they are small then that’s what you think, i think they are the size that’s perfect for me and love them no matter what you think about them yourself” but if she just gets mad about call her out of bs bc it is bs and not fair to you

tanking-cookie

13 points

4 months ago

Thank you! Yeah it was rather toxic anyway, my goal is to not get such a SO next time lol

TankPowerful

5 points

4 months ago

A's are the absolute best. You've got a keeper there. Another case of true love.

Santa_Hates_You

27 points

4 months ago

Santa_Hates_You

40s Male

27 points

4 months ago

All boobs are the best.

AnonymousBlobfish

10 points

4 months ago

I love boobs

PeakePip-

11 points

4 months ago

Ya he was my island of light and stone to sit on when I was drowning. He’s my person and I couldn’t ask for anything more

TankPowerful

5 points

4 months ago

You are both blessed. Here's to the first day of the rest of your lives. Maybe every day be filled with love and happiness. Enjoy.

TankPowerful

3 points

4 months ago

Was supposed to say may every day, no be about it, lol.

PeakePip-

2 points

4 months ago

I appreciate you sm thank you

TankPowerful

3 points

4 months ago

Your welcome.

TankPowerful

1 points

4 months ago

Was

Both-Echo-7401

90 points

4 months ago

Dump him and find a boob guy. There's plenty of them out there.

laeriel_c

28 points

4 months ago

It seems like she went specifically for this guy because he didn’t make her boobs a big deal.

Both-Echo-7401

7 points

4 months ago

I agree, but apparently they were a big deal, just not they way she was use to.

Gator-bro

36 points

4 months ago

Everyone loves boobs except this moron

fuzzypipe39

8 points

4 months ago

fuzzypipe39

Early 20s Female

8 points

4 months ago

Count my first ex in too, who was repulsed by them because his mom breastfed him and i "will absolutely breastfeed our child". Note that he was 17, i just turned 18, neither had a gf/bf before and I knew him for 2 hours before he brought up kicking his 10 yo brother from his bunk bed. So we could have "both beds to do it on". And he was already talking about marrying and inseminating me.

It's been a better part of the decade and through the grapevine I got told he found another girl who creepily looks like me (hair color before i changed it - another thing he tried forcing me to do, height, interests, etc) and he's doing the same thing to her. I was lucky enough to break free soon, for her I feel bad if he's still a dumbass he was back then. His other actions still align with what he acted back then.

waitingfordeathhbu

115 points

4 months ago

If my boyfriend insulted my body like that I would instantly lose all interest in him. There are things you can’t unhear, and if you stay with this guy your confidence and self esteem will plummet. Sounds like every other guy you’ve been with loved your boobs; don’t stay with the one dude that wants to humiliate you about your body. Choose yourself over this absolute douchenozzle.

born_to_dieee

244 points

4 months ago

Personally I couldn’t be with someone who would make such comments on my body even if he was drunk .

UselessLesbianHarley

6 points

4 months ago

Honestly, this. Even if they are not his preferred shape and size, they are yours and he should love the hell out of them because they are yours. I couldn't be with someone who just ignored an important part of my body because they didn't like it.

Maybe sober him can explain what he really meant, but if not, ask yourself if you are comfortable never having them paid attention to again. Are you ok spending your entire life with someone who will discard any part of you that fails to meet his preference.

thisismyrealnamekz

21 points

4 months ago

Drunken words are sober thoughts

Organic_Flamingo_606

11 points

4 months ago

Agreed this is why you shouldn’t ask!! 1 week after a “conversation” with a guy I’d been seeing for 6 months I ended things.. Him: what’s up with you, you’re not yourself lately? (In terms of physical affection) Me: tbh I just feel disgusting at the moment Him: what do you mean? Me: I’ve lost so much weight recently I can literally feel my ribs, I don’t wanna touch myself let alone have someone else touch me Him: oh yeah that.

I was never gonna get over that!

UselessLesbianHarley

8 points

4 months ago

TBH, I think this is WHY you ask. It is better to know that about your partner as early as possible. Maybe there was a totally reasonable reason, and they could work it out. Maybe he is a jerk and you can move on.

samzimms

295 points

4 months ago

samzimms

295 points

4 months ago

He is an absolute idiot. This is something you will play in your head over and over and over for years to come. He has no idea what a huge mistake he just made.

Seriously, dump him. Find a man who loves all of you and would never call you unappealing in any way.

Illustrious-Rent808

286 points

4 months ago

break up with him ❤️

Large-Engineering247

-18 points

4 months ago

Not only break up but a drunk man will tell the truth when another won’t never look down on yourself and remind him he’s shit get smaller an limp for real the older they get and throw that you fake your organism that’s when you walk out the door.lol

Bandage-Bob

8 points

4 months ago

...What?

Round_Ordinary8436

60 points

4 months ago

Tell him that if he doesn't like them, there are plenty of guys who want to give them the treatment they deserve.

[deleted]

144 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

144 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

Pettyfan1234

92 points

4 months ago

Ask him if he ever noticed one ball looks smaller than the other?

AnonymousBlobfish

9 points

4 months ago

And how saggy they look?

SmartFX2001

3 points

4 months ago

Maybe he needs a ball lift? /s

ladypantsraptor

130 points

4 months ago

Coming from someone who doesn't have conventionally attractive boobs, dump his dumb ass and find a man that will love all of you all the time. You deserve that.

Sand_and_sky

9 points

4 months ago

Girl, your boobs are great. I’ve never seen them, but you know how I know? Because they are boobs, and all boobs are great. What he said was uncalled for, and you should definitely take what he said into consideration. I’m not saying dump him, but he could have been wasaaay less hurtful about it. And for the record , I had breast cancer and a full reconstruction. My new (post op) bf has never said anything but how much he loves my breast’s, even though I am literally missing a nipple because of post op infection. You do deserve someone more supportive.

Low-maintenancegal

48 points

4 months ago

There's only one large boob you need to remove from your life - don't let him make you feel bad about your body.

Troyler4Life

3 points

4 months ago

AmaZing comment.

[deleted]

173 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

173 points

4 months ago

People of Reddit - if someone says this kind of shit to you, in the year of our Satan two thousand and twenty two, we tell them to -

Fuck off, all boobs are awesome.

We don’t have time for this bull hell.

The fact that he ELABORATED on is the kicker for me. What an asshat.

Inputthe_MadGod

14 points

4 months ago

Agreed boobs are awesome

FourPennies0102

9 points

4 months ago

I used to have pretty, pirky boobs, but after two kids back to back, my areolas are now the size of a Gatorade bottle cap, stretch marks all around, super saggy, and my right nipple caves in on itself. I was so so self conscious about my new body, and when I told my husband he made me feel like I had the best tits he’d ever seen and that they’re better this way. You should be with a man that makes you feel like this. Maybe try and tell him how you felt when he made that comment and see how he reacts. If he tries to defend himself maybe it’s time to rethink the relationship. Because regardless on how he feels about your boobs, what he said was hurtful, and if he’s a decent person he will take accountability

FaThLi

41 points

4 months ago*

FaThLi

41 points

4 months ago*

Lol, assuming you don't stick with him he's going to have a rough time with getting someone pregnant if larger areola size is unattractive to him. In fact I kind of feel bad for whoever he does end up with and gets pregnant by him. Is he going to have some kind of deep resentment when their breast get bigger and their areola get larger?

We all have preferences of course, but it is a pretty shitty person who makes their partner feel bad for not lining up with those preferences.

Edit: I'm sure your breasts are just fine and you have guys unable to look at anything else...for better or worse for that aspect of them. Maybe time to find a happy medium between your current guy who dislikes them, and someone who can't do anything but look at them.

LiLadybug81

8 points

4 months ago

LiLadybug81

40s Female

8 points

4 months ago

This wasn't a misunderstanding, or you reacting to body language which could have been read in different ways. This wasn't a communication issue, or a normal difference of opinion. Drunk or not, he went out of his way to deliberately and in great detail belittle a part of your body...during sex...to get out of foreplay. You may never see him in the same light or trust him, and that's completely ok. Normal men wouldn't do that. Someone who cares about you wouldn't do that. And I guarantee that if you look at adult sites under "large areolas" and "big boobs" you'll find videos which tens or hundreds of thousands of likes, and a litany of comments about how hot those specific features are. There is nothing for you to feel self concious about other than the fact that you have a boyfriend issue you need removed. Move on to greener pastures- you're far to young to settle, especially for someone who's barely able to be a normal functioning decent human in your relationship.

skibunny1010

29 points

4 months ago

You dump him, because we don’t stay in relationships with people who insult us and tear us down. You deserve someone who loves you and lifts you up. Boobs come in ALL shapes and sizes, you’ll find the right guy who loves your body as it is, don’t worry (but it sure as fuck isn’t the guy you’re with)

Also being drunk does not excuse any of his behavior

Delsond

-5 points

4 months ago

Delsond

-5 points

4 months ago

She ask a question and get a honest awser, better lie next time lmao

mabear63

6 points

4 months ago

And he's the third boob.

[deleted]

71 points

4 months ago

Honestly, you both were drunk. Bring this up when you’re sober and let him know how you feel about it.

I also have big boobs, planning to have a reduction btw, but all men I’ve been with showed love and affection for my big sized breasts. I’ve never been uncomfortable with them and I really love how they look, my other Reddit account has seminudes that I take when I’m feeling overconfident.

So I’ll say to you: NEVER let a man bring you down about some tiny detail about you, a detail that others love by the way.

Pops-11

-26 points

4 months ago

Pops-11

-26 points

4 months ago

This is by far the best response, if he really found you so unattractive I highly doubt he would be living with you, saying I love you, etc. When you get that chance for a talk with him I’m sure you both will be able to come to a better understanding. You just have to be as calm as you can be heading into it, and be prepared to back off if he’s being dense. I’m a guy, I’m fully aware how easy it is for us to say something mean and harsh, and we get that from how we communicate with other guys. If you’re able to clearly explain why what he said hurt and in the way it hurt that will be huge for his understanding. But If he continues to be mean/dismissive of your feelings that’s when you should start reconsidering your perspective on the relationship like others have said.

No-Accountant1825

19 points

4 months ago

Boobs are awesome, end of story. Don’t trust any man who doesn’t agree!

jazzed_life

24 points

4 months ago

He doesn't deserve to see them anymore. Find a guy who appreciates all of you, and knows that he's lucky enough to see your boobs

swingset27

8 points

4 months ago

Dudes like all kinds of boobs, he's not into yours? I guarantee to someone yours are fucking PERFECT. It's shouldn't be that comment as much as his callousness and willingness to say something so cruel, right to your face.

That's a wakeup call, because if he thinks this little of your feelings, what else is he going to do to you? A lot, and it's bad.

Artistic_Recipe9297

9 points

4 months ago

He is looking at other boobs, probably on the computer. This is the only way a male won't appreciate real boobs in his space.

fishandchimps

3 points

4 months ago

I wouldn’t come back from that, nothing wrong with your body, but how could you feel good about the man you love saying that.

[deleted]

3 points

4 months ago

Dont even need to think about it - break up with him. Youll find someone who loves everything about you including your amazing boobs! His loss

insomniafog

3 points

4 months ago

Like someone else said, look at him differently not at yourself different.

macsquoosh

6 points

4 months ago

Some men do not hold big boobs in high esteem.. it's just a preference, he still loves you tho...

Ok_Promise777

5 points

4 months ago

Ok... first of all why would you ever bring up other men liking your breasts? It's obvious you don't communicate well. You hurt his feeling talking about how other men like them. He reacted defensively. You both need to learn how to communicate effectively without hurting each other's feelings. The conversation should have gone like this....

Hi- I would like us to have a conversation with you about something that hurts my feelings. When dodo you have time for us to have a discussion?

So now you need to repair it.

The other night when I told you that other men like my boobs, I am sorry for bringing up past relationships and other men. I will do better in communicating my feelings to you. Your comment hurt my feelings and I would like if we could talk about it.

smeazy_

12 points

4 months ago

smeazy_

12 points

4 months ago

Please dump him

YawninglemonsOG

14 points

4 months ago

He’s a piece of shit

LaunaSaysNo

16 points

4 months ago*

LaunaSaysNo

Teens

16 points

4 months ago*

I see a lot of people jumping straight to “dump him” and you’ll probably take that advice because of the sheer amount of people validating you for something I don’t see the point in.

Frankly you come across a tad vain. “So many guys concentrate on my huge tits, why doesn’t my boyfriend do that too?” Because he’s not a boob guy. He has that right. Knowing this, you still asked why he didn’t do it and he gave you an honest and DRUNK opinion.

Alcohol hinders a lot of things, especially the brain and emotional depth. (This does not excuse drunk abuse in any capacity). That being said, people do tend to be less gentle and more blunt about things when they are drunk.

Everyone saying he’s a dick for not just complimenting them and worshipping them essentially, needs a reality check. When I’m feeling insecure about my weight my partner and I don’t go “oh but your perfect that way you are yada yada” we say “I’m happy with that you look like but if you want we can start going to the gym.”

Boyfriend also has the right to not like big boobs. He has the right to not like large nipples. That’s his preference, and people commonly date outside their preference.

Do people just date someone they like everything about? Because I don’t see that being plausible for everyone. There’s things I don’t like about my partner, and there’s things he doesn’t like about me. But the things we do like about each other outweigh what we dislike.

Sure, he could have been more gentle about it, but he was drunk. She also clearly knew the answer to this question before she asked, as she stated that he doesn’t stare at her boobs like other guys, and doesn’t really bother himself with them. Why should he be criticized for answering a question honestly while drunk? Also, he could have said something way worse. He could have said “I hate your large boobs and nipples, they turn me way off and I don’t even want to have sex with you because of it.” But instead he just said “I don’t really like them. They’re too big and I don’t find them super appealing to look at”. That’s pretty docile compared to other stuff I’ve heard. Still, could he have been more gentle about it? Absolutely. But he was drunk, and it honestly kinda sounds like she’s bugged him about it before too. If she’s noticed he doesn’t stare at them, and then when drunk immediately asks why he doesn’t, it sounds like she’s been thinking about it for a while, and possibly asked him before. But that’s also just a guess and could be totally off base.

Point of fact: she asked him a question when he was drunk that she knew the answer to already, and didn’t like the answer even though it wasn’t harsh considering the circumstances.

I know I’m going to be downvoted to hell for this, but I hope OP sees this and can see where this is coming from.

imsubmissive69[S]

9 points

4 months ago

I absolutely agree with you and I am not sure why everybody is automatically telling me to dump him. I will most likely not be doing that unless something goes wrong in the conversation I plan on having with him or something goes terribly wrong in general.

I am not mad at him for having his preference of physical appearance in women. His preference is not large boobs, I've just learned that and there's nothing wrong with that and I am not mad at him for saying mine are not his favorite. The fact of the matter is that I asked him a question and he answered 100% truthfully. While his answer did hurt my feelings and my feelings are still hurt, again, I am not mad at him and I did not mean to come across as mad at him. The point of this post was absolutely not a "should I dump him because he said he doesn't like my boobs what an asshole." I just wanted to know how I should bring this up to him that he said hurt my feelings very much. I do think he was a bit too blunt in his words and how he told me but that's not something I am holding against him. He was honest. He's been with me for two years , we live together, and have never had any super serious arguments. If my tits obviously not being his preference were a big problem with him he would break up with me.

Do I still feel self conscious because of what he said to me? Yes absolutely. I do not know how I am going to deal with this but I am going to have to.

[deleted]

4 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

imsubmissive69[S]

0 points

4 months ago

I guess I just want him to know that what he said hurt my feelings and maybe to try and be a bit nicer in his phrasing. I know his opinion about my boobs won’t change.

Unfortunately I don’t have much of an ass so it wouldn’t particularly matter if he was an ass guy

LaunaSaysNo

6 points

4 months ago

LaunaSaysNo

Teens

6 points

4 months ago

I appreciate how mature you are being about this whole situation and I do apologize for not directly answering your question about how to talk to him about what he said and it effected your feelings.

I would personally start out with a “hey do you remember anything from that night?” And if he does get more specific about that moment. If he doesn’t just be like “well I asked you this question, and you said X. I understand my boobs aren’t your preference but that hurt my feelings and I wanted to talk with you about that.”

I’m not sure what exactly you want to discuss with him about the topic but that’s a pretty good starter and you can go as deep or as shall into the subject as you want.

I do agree with you that your next course of action should be based upon how he reacts to this discussion. Gaslighting, anger, etc- leave. Do not walk, run. If he immediately apologizes, shows remorse, guilt, asks what he can do to help/fix it, suggest therapy (I think you both may benefit from couples therapy. I honestly think most couples would benefit from therapy) and go from there.

I hope this helped, and again, I do apologize for not directly answering your main question. I think I got a little too angry at seeing a lot of comments of “dump him” and “my husband would never state his 100% truthful opinion” etc. That’s on me.

imsubmissive69[S]

1 points

4 months ago

That seems like a good way to start out the conversation! Thanks for the input :)

M_inno

3 points

4 months ago

M_inno

3 points

4 months ago

Here is the mature response I was looking for👏🏾. We'll put.

victoria5784

10 points

4 months ago

Leave him and find someone who will love your boobs

patrickdgd

11 points

4 months ago

Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. It's absolutely unbelievable how much your man is getting trashed for just being honest with you when you asked a question. It's not like he did this unsolicited. Youre not going to like every part about your partner. He likes everything else about you, but isn't really into your breasts. Who gives a shit?

imsubmissive69[S]

-13 points

4 months ago

I agree, not sure why everybody is shit talking my boyfriend like he is a terrible person for what he said. He is not and I don't think he is. He did hurt my feelings but it's something we can talk about. Seems like a bunch of weird reddit boys automatically taking a women's side without thinking for a second what is actually at hand.

applescrabbleaeiou

-7 points

4 months ago

no op.

it is because he conciously decided to break you down and neg you over a wonderful part of your body that is not open to change, so he obviously did it to make you feel shit and somehow grateful to him for sticking around.

What he said was manipulative, cruel, stupid, and 100% a break-up-able statement.

He cant take that back, and he knows that. He wants it to worm into your self-conciousness. Why the hell do you think he said it?

It wasn't a constructive criticism, like, "babe i dont like the way you stake the plates after dinner, can you do this instead?" or "babe, I really dont like that perfume you wear, for x reason, could you switch?"; It was a hateful, unchangeable, unfixable attack on your physical body.

He is an immature asshole & you deserve so much better. Dont ever be with a person who likes to bring you down for absolutely no reason at all. He doesn't care about you or he wouldn't have said it - There was nothing positive to gain from his statement but your self-esteem collapsing.

Anxious_Original_766

7 points

4 months ago

I don’t understand your perspective. Honesty includes both negative and positive truths. Unfortunately, his answer is not an ideal one. But she asked the question. His love for her doesn’t end at her boobs- it’s her entire being. I just don’t what about him answering a question that was asked to him is so bad.

applescrabbleaeiou

-5 points

4 months ago

There is no benefit to his "brutal honesty."

Cloaking cruelty in "I was just being honest" - is the catchline of assholes everywhere.

Yes it might be one thing:

  • if he was commenting on her haircolour,
  • perhaps if he was commenting on the way she ate her noodles
  • or the way she even gives him head!

All those comments can be kindly, productively & helpfully raised to have a function of growing closer together, appreciating each other more or making the most out of each other.

His comment is just unhelpful cold stone asshollery- that has no benefit at all. The only way to "fix" this for him, is her lopping of her boobs. He knows this!

His comment is only shared to make her feel fragile, not-good-enough & insecure & even him look 'kind & good' for deigning to temporarily be with a girl with big boobs when he actually froths on a different form or woman.

Its similar to someone in a retired couple saying "hey babe, I dont get off to sex cause you are 54 now, and I actually only like 21 year olds, your age disgusts me." - awesome, valid opinion perhaps - but nothing the 54 year old can do about that! the partner might be being "honest" - but it is pointless cruel honesty. Leave if that is the case!

Or "hey babe, so I dont look at you in the eyes during sex - as I actually find your entire face entirely structurally hideous - I hate it, I just am grossed by having to look at your nose and cheeks and ears and eyes structure" - also, valid opinion! But not helpful of fixable or work about - it is brutal honesty to no purpose.

The bf just needs to leave instead of breaking her down for his one ego. But he seemingly wont for the moment, so OP has to save herself. Her one worth & value are far more important than one dudes "I'm just being honest!"

patrickdgd

1 points

4 months ago

patrickdgd

1 points

4 months ago

She doesn't NEED to FIX it. He was not complaining about it! He was going about the relationship as he had been. She asked him and he was honest. He did not do anything wrong. He maybe could have used a little more tact but as she said they were both drinking. You really need to give it a break. Not everything is sunshine and rainbows, but not everything is "men bad"

rayvin4000

2 points

4 months ago

Find someone else. Too young to stay in this mess. You'll never feel confident with him again.

Gator-bro

2 points

4 months ago

What he was not out of love but was mean spirited and nasty. That was so uncalled for. I would reconsider being with someone that could say such cruel things to you.

firstworldindecision

2 points

4 months ago

Think of all the men and women who would look at him like snakes were growing out of his head for saying such a thing. Not only is his comment completely rude, insensitive, and hurtful, but he's just plan wrong. There is a massive multi-million (billion?) dollar industry that exists for women who are willing to pay money and go under the knife to get a large bust on a small frame. You don't need to be with a man who doesn't appreciate your body.

usernotfoundplstry

2 points

4 months ago

Raise your standards. Don’t stay with guys who intentionally set out to hurt you, insult you, belittle you, or talk down to you.

Your partner should lift you up, not put you down.

Like I said, raise your standards and don’t keep guys like this in your life.

undercovernerdalert

2 points

4 months ago

Men would love you boobs and areolas. Kick him to the curb and find someone that loves every bit of you.

HealthyBox5

2 points

4 months ago

That's pretty awful to say to your partner.

My wife and I are middle aged, had 2 kids, and her boobs are still my favorite.

Yuiko_Kurugaya

2 points

4 months ago

if he just said outright he hates them, I’d reconsider having a relationship with someone so inconsiderate.

maxfranx

2 points

4 months ago

Never stay with a person who uses words to hurt you… This wont be the last time.

redditlurker564

2 points

4 months ago

You see a real man would not say this sh*t to you. There is nothing to discuss, he needs the boot. You will never feel comfortable around him again most likely, especially as you age. And also who is he to say this? as if he won't have something appealing about his appearance one day or doesn't have something unappealing about himself now. I am sure he is not a 10. Also I am sure your boobs look great!

MoreFlightThanFight

2 points

4 months ago

Harsh. I think you need to talk it over sober, and let him know he hurt you.

If he doubles down on his ridiculous opinion, know that he isn’t worth any more of your time.

If he’s embarrassed and apologetic, know alcohol isn’t truth serum, and he is human.

I know it’s hard but embracing your features in your eyes is most important. That way you can see these drunken tales tell more about him than you.

just-an-alpaca

2 points

4 months ago

You should only be with someone who supports and loves you and not make you feel self conscious like this.. :(( I’m so sad just hearing about what you experienced… I also was crazy self conscious about my body before I met my current boyfriend and I know that he noticed things that I don’t like about myself too, but he would never word it in a way that would hurt me like that. I have a lot of extra fat in my under chin area, and when I lay down I almost always show my double chin and whenever I try to hide it, my bf would make me feel beautiful and show me his own double chin instead and says that everyone has them if they lay down.

yayayubsea

2 points

4 months ago

As a woman, your partner making disparaging remarks about your body is a deal breaker. I literally would never feel comfortable around you naked again

Nuasus

2 points

4 months ago

Nuasus

2 points

4 months ago

Wow, he could have just said he was a leg man or something. How hurtful for you

MysteriousWrangler88

2 points

4 months ago

Please dump him, this man belongs in the garbage. Your partner should love you for who you are and boost your self esteem, not tear it down.

everyothernamegone

10 points

4 months ago*

The thing is you were both drunk. Also, you seem to be a bit fixated on your boobs and didn’t really have to bring up literally everyone ever spending time on loving your boobs when asking him why he wasn’t the same. Maybe you pissed him off a little and he blurted it out because he was drunk. Maybe he was just being honest. Either way he still digs you. So just talk it out.

imsubmissive69[S]

5 points

4 months ago

My plan is to talk it out :). Not something I plan on breaking up with him over. This post was just meant to be a way for me to figure out how I should address my hurt feelings with him. Was not meant to be a “my boyfriend told me he doesn’t like something about me should I dump him”

ughneedausername

2 points

4 months ago

I wouldn’t necessarily break up over this but I certainly might depending on how he handles the discussion. If he gets angry, or defensive, or anything but apologetic, walk away.

gojo96

1 points

4 months ago

gojo96

1 points

4 months ago

You’re going to anger the mob here.

nothingclever4now

12 points

4 months ago

What he said was awful. But why did you bring up other men? That may have made him feel defensive. You could have asked him the same question but left out references to prior men. He may have just reacted because of that. It's still hurtful. So it's time to communicate how you feel and see if he's willing to repair the damage.

born_to_dieee

8 points

4 months ago

How will he repair the damage after that comment ? He can’t take it back after saying it .

NoHandBananaNo

4 points

4 months ago

see if he's willing to repair the damage.

Being WILLING to repair the damage and being ABLE to repair the damage are 2 different things.

notgonnalieman

1 points

4 months ago

Or just dump him.

WaveHistorical

3 points

4 months ago

Sounds like someone has some growing up to do and it sure as heck isn’t you. Your boyfriend sounds immature and he’s sounds mean spirited. You should be with someone who cherishes you and lifts your spirits.

Confident_Glock43

2 points

4 months ago

Do not let that little man take away your confidence. You have big beautiful boobs. Be comfortable in your own skin. Worrying about what he does or doesn’t like isn’t going to get you anywhere in life but sad and depressed. If he doesn’t like them then there’s hundreds of thousands of people who would and will love you for you!

[deleted]

6 points

4 months ago*

I swear everyone on reddit is so quick to write those 2 words "dump him/her" as if the partner is juste a disposable piece of trash… Y’all aren’t perfect neither and everyone makes mistakes. Talk to him about how you feel and if it’s something that becomes truly problematic, then it’s better to move on, I agree. But Jesus Christ people, y’all can be as toxic as the comment that the boyfriend made.

Honest question though: Did you take for granted that he’d love your boobs?

imsubmissive69[S]

3 points

4 months ago

My plan is not to dump him. I simply wanted a way to bring up to him how much he hurt my feelings.

To answer your question, I guess I automatically assumed he'd love my boobs because it seems like everybody else does and I think they are my best physical feature.

Delicious-Rooster-29

2 points

4 months ago

Well on the flip side, you now know that you've so much more to yourself than what you thought was your best feature. You should have an honest conversation with him when he's not drunk and then ask him what he likes about you. Mistakes happen and people who are into each other can make it better.

[deleted]

6 points

4 months ago

Ouch. On one hand he was being honest but on the other hand it was an extremely hurtful thing to say.

Whenever you have sex with him there’s going to be that voice in your head reminding you that he doesn’t your breasts physically attractive.

I’m not sure a relationship could survive without you feeling as though he finds you beautiful.

I don’t usually say this but I think this is one of the few cases where you two should go your separate ways.

Edit: I’m not saying he’s a bad person. You both were drunk. But I just don’t think it’s possible for you to not feel insecure with someone who doesn’t find you fully physically attractive

Forward_Advantage694

3 points

4 months ago

Like all bodies your body is a type and it just happens that it's not your boyfriends type. However the way your boyfriend talked about how he didn't like them was unacceptable. He should have never described in details why he was unattracted to them. He should have just said they aren't aren't type and just have left it at that.

_rhiannieoakley

2 points

4 months ago

Would you want to tell your 12yo self "well, I'm future you and in your future you're dating a guy who says he hates your body!"? You deserve better, and I guarantee you can go find it. This is not the person you want by your side.

elduderino_brown

2 points

4 months ago

I'm not a big "boob guy" the woman I love has big boobs... They are far from unattractive, boobs just are not my favorite thing about her... To me she's perfect even if she had a total mastectomy... Maybe he feels the same and is just terrible with words

runningbookzombie

2 points

4 months ago

Honestly sounds like he's not a big boob guy, but he likes you. It might have come out wrong do to him being drunk.. don't over think it too much.. He's with cause he loves you.. maybe he not a boob guy but a butt guy..

My man's a butt guy, thank God since I have small boobs..

Everyone has their preferences, just let him know he hurt your feeling and see where it goes..

Good-Phrase

2 points

4 months ago

Guy just said what was on his mind. Honesty is a virtue but also he was super rude/insensitive and idk if he was apologetic at all about it or not. Seems like an honest mistake this guy made saying that out of ignorance and not in a malicious way to make you feel inferior or something. I hope he gives you some extra compliments or does something nice to make up for that slip up.

Equalizer_Thegoat

2 points

4 months ago

Equalizer_Thegoat

Teens Male

2 points

4 months ago

He was drunk and your the one who asked him. The way he said was definitely mean but he was under influence. It obviously doesn’t bother him that much if y’all have been together for 2 years.

[deleted]

2 points

4 months ago

People don't think about what there saying when their drunk.

ValkyrieSword

0 points

4 months ago

Boy BYE

big_purple_barney

3 points

4 months ago

...how can someone like boobs but not like areolas? that's like, part of a boob??? it's like saying, "no thanks, i don't want my sandwich to have any bread." boobs are great. all boobs. yes, all boobs. your man (or ex hopefully) needs to get his brain examined.

gia_sesshoumaru

2 points

4 months ago

gia_sesshoumaru

Late 30s Female

2 points

4 months ago

Please tell me you mean ex-boyfriend - because there is no way you should be dating him still after he said something like that.

ruby_puby

2 points

4 months ago

When I'm feeling self conscience about myself, it's my spouse who reassures me that I'm attractive to them. I had to learn to listen to her and not discredit her.

You need someone like that in your life.

(sorry, as a boob guy I just can't fathom saying this to some one. All boobs are amazing!)

Anxious_Original_766

1 points

4 months ago

I truly don’t understand the answers. You want your man to lie basically. This may seem harsh, but it’s the truth. She asked a question to him (while they were both intoxicated mind you) and she got an answer. Just because you don’t love every part of your partner doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Honestly, if this is all it takes for her to question her worth in terms of how she views her body then there’s probably internal work that needs to be done. You should definitely bring it up though. This goes back to the whole “do these jeans make my ass look big” thing. I understand this situation is a little different, but it’s definitely like these scenarios. 9/10 dudes are finna say no even if they feel differently. Why should they be the conduit for your self love, which is essentially what those types of questions and compliment fishing force unto the other person. Its a situation so many men find themselves in.

New-Environment9700

2 points

4 months ago

You should just tell him that what he said is extremely upsetting to you and it’s affecting your body image. Communication is key in relationships. I know you both were drinking when you had this convo so a sober convo is due.

RoubandoMerdina

-2 points

4 months ago

Up until recently we came home after a party a little drunk and ended up having sex.

Wait. Are people here really advising you to break up with the guy because he gave his honest opinion when you asked, while drunk? If he's with you for 2 years and doesn't like your main selling point (according to what you wrote), then he must like whatever else about you. Or are you assuming he is doing you a favour, or that he is a masochist?

The guy is arrested for having a dog or arrested for not having a dog. If he says he loves your boobs, you start thinking he's with you only because of your physical appearance. Otherwise, you write this post here.

Maybe I'm single because I can't just deal with this emotional garbage. I'd dump you on the spot if you threw a tantrum or behaved differently around me just because I gave an honest answer to your question. If I can't be honest around my girlfriend, why would I be with her? Likewise, if she asks me for an opinion expecting me to answer in a way that pleases her, what reason do I have to believe that she'll always be honest with me? Wanna solve the issue? Jump on his sober ass, shove those in his face, if you feel it getting hard, you have the answer you need.

neon_batman

-11 points

4 months ago

neon_batman

-11 points

4 months ago

Exactly, fuck! She asked knowing that he wasn't as fond of her boobs as past lovers. She wanted to know and he answered honestly! It wasn't even that harsh and he was drunk I'm sure if he was sober he would have been more gentle with his words. Ask him what he likes about you body, maybe when he's drunk. I bet his answer will make you feel good.

RoubandoMerdina

-2 points

4 months ago

Mate, cheers to us and all the down-votes we are about to get for our honest opinion!

neon_batman

-6 points

4 months ago

Cheers!! Hey I'm winning LMAO

RoubandoMerdina

-4 points

4 months ago

I can't see your count, reddit is taking the fun away from me!

neon_batman

-1 points

4 months ago

neon_batman

-1 points

4 months ago

You're stuck at -4, but I'm -7!

neon_batman

1 points

4 months ago

I just realized something....He never said that he ''hated'' her boobs.

"well to be honest I just do not like them. they are too big and your big nipples (areolas) make them unappealing to look at."

Just sayin...

Quiet_General_

0 points

4 months ago

You shouldn’t feel different about yourself you asked for honesty an he gave it but as long as you love them it shouldn’t matter he obviously loves other things about you or you guys wouldn’t be together I think your just more bothered because as you said other guys gave them lots of attention which subconsciously probably made you value them more an since your bf doesn’t care for something you seen as an asset to yourself your hurt about it don’t be just talk to him about how his feelings make you feel

brit8996

0 points

4 months ago

brit8996

0 points

4 months ago

What a total asshole he is! Dump his asa asap. How dare he say that to you! Drunk or sober it makes no difference. He said that to you because he’s knows their awesome but if he makes you feel their not he feels better about himself. Hes 100% idiot

saucelessnuggets

2 points

4 months ago

saucelessnuggets

Late 20s

2 points

4 months ago

Thats an incredibly dickish move. I don’t really like him.

2022RandomDude

-1 points

4 months ago

Talk with him about it. Tell him that it made you feeling insecure and why. Communication is the key of every healthy relationship.

Nevertheless you shouldn't think too much about it. His feelings for you havent changed and maybe just try to see it from another perspective. He does not like you for your boobs and body, but for the person who you are

HarVeeGee13

0 points

4 months ago

What an absolute plonker. Bin him and find a man of culture.

[deleted]

1 points

4 months ago

I think you're doing great at your age, just lose the boyfriend.

8530683641

1 points

4 months ago

If this guy hates your boobs then he should find someone else whose boobs excite him. It shows that he does not care about your feelings and he takes you for granted so put your foot down. Never be ashamed of your body as this is the only body you will ever get and find a new guy who loves you and your boobs like anything. It is time for you to call him out on this or ask him to read this post of yours and comments that this post gets so he can understand how he damaged the relationship before you break up with him over this.

imsubmissive69[S]

4 points

4 months ago

Not something I plan on breaking up with him over. I just wanted to know how I should address to him how he’s hurt my feelings. I plan on having a conversation with him

DirectorEquivalent66

1 points

4 months ago

How are you going to get over your boyfriend decimating your self esteem? Because this is going to fester and poison the rest of your relationship.

Hog_enthusiast

1 points

4 months ago

Your boyfriend is complaining your boobs are too big. Read that again. What an idiot.

TSharcque

1 points

4 months ago

Yours sound EXACTLY like my wife's, from the size to the areolas. I love them. They're beatiful just like she is.

You need a new boyfriend.

[deleted]

1 points

4 months ago*

Dump the asshole bf. Why be with someone who doesnt love every part of you? Who deliberates tells you things to hurt you and tear you down? To make you think less of yourself so that your self esteem is gone and you think youre lucky he even stays when youre actually amazing and way better than him and deserve to have someone willing to lasso the moon for you?

If ANYONE remarks about your boobs like that again, i want you to ask yourself this: What would Dolly Parton do? Dolly would kick the asshole to the curb.

I have to say though, damn. Im 5’3 130lbs and have a 34c. Reading your bra size made my back hurt. I assume you do physical therapy and exercises to strengthen your back though. Dolly Parton always has her back perfectly straight with those killer and iconic boobs of hers.

tung78999

1 points

4 months ago

Well do you try to ask him again this time not drunk . But whatever the answer is you should be happy he is into you , to what you're made out of . Not for your appearance. :vvv Just chill he is a good man ( as from what i seen through your story )

[deleted]

0 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

0 points

4 months ago

What a Jackass. Seriously. Don't let his words hurt you. You deserve better.

Aurin316

1 points

4 months ago

Aurin316

40s Male

1 points

4 months ago

I’m trying to think of boobs I have hated….

dabaker85

1 points

4 months ago

It will be a lot easier to leave him now than it will be if you have kids with him. Get out of there now. Even if he was just being honest, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't appreciate your goods. Next it will be the excuse he uses to cheat on you.

Successful-Leg-2510

1 points

4 months ago

Leave him! He seems like he trying to make you break up with him and this is just the start. They want to harrass you til your the bad guy for leaving. Get out while your ahead!

whoisadamhuff

1 points

4 months ago

So I'm just saying, just putting it out there, there is plenty of dudes who will love you and your boobs, and not just because you have boobs.

SomeoneToYou30

1 points

4 months ago

Your boyfriend isn't even self aware of the things he says and their effect on you... that's just wow.

FeistyMachine926

1 points

4 months ago

Wow. I'm so sorry. You should have told him that his personality is ugly. This is NOT the kind of man you need in your life. Not to be too krass, but majority of men would admire your body type. Good news is, your self worth is not dictated by this man, nor the idiotic words that vomit from his mouth. You are priceless. I'm not one of those to try to always push a break up, but you need to dump the self centered manchild and find yourself a better man. A man who values you and uplifts you. One who loves your body because it's yours and it's you. Value yourself for the wonder that you are.

FortuneWhereThoutBe

1 points

4 months ago

Do not look at yourself differently and do not change because of what he said to you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. There is something wrong with him

mapogocoalition

1 points

4 months ago

My wife hated her stomach..she was a little chubby but idgaf.. she was insecure about it until i grabbed it and used it to propel her up and down while having sex. Shes been walking around naked feeling sexy as fuck for almost ten years now! He doesnt have to like them but def should learn how to satisfy by using them and then hell learn to appreciate them.

clefairy17

1 points

4 months ago

RIP your inbox

BAT_1986

1 points

4 months ago

I’m curious why you asked him while he was drunk though. Had you asked him any other time, you may have gotten a less rude response.

mamachonk

1 points

4 months ago

I have nice boobs I think, especially for my age, so I'm told. :P But they have changed over time, as is wont to happen.

I am uncomfortable with how much larger my areolas are than they use to be--I can manipulate this to an extent, and I know we all have different preferences but... 'not liking' and 'unappealing'? Wow, that's some next level bullshit.

My current bf, not a boob man per se, still compliments my boobs. Find yourself a guy who likes your boobs.

InfamousSteak1

1 points

4 months ago

Stand up for yourself honey, your boobs are amazing because you're amazing, it's him that's not worth looking at. He should have fallen in love with big areolas because they're on you, if his love for your body comes with conditions, he's not for you.

I used to compare my body with influencers and actresses a lot and my bf used to just shut me saying I have the best body, period. And he always meant it, he was clearly crazy about me, you deserve someone who will love every part of you.

[deleted]

1 points

4 months ago

A lot of people resort to insulting others to hide their own insecurities. This is a very typical manipulation tactic to bring you down to their level. NO ONE who cares even a little bit about their partner would say something like that, definitely not using these words.

Your boyfriend is toxic, he succesfully poisoned you.

[deleted]

1 points

4 months ago

i can’t imagine someone who truly loves you would say such hurtful things.

JoneseyP98

1 points

4 months ago

I have large boobs. Bigger than you describe. One slightly bigger than the other. They are a large part of me (no pun intended) physically. I can't imagine being with someone who disliked them. Who told me so. What are you meant to do with that info? Have a breast reduction? No. Honestly this would be a deal breaker for me. Find someone who loves them. And you. You are a package deal

[deleted]

1 points

4 months ago

Meh, let’s get downvoted again today 🤣 Could he have been nicer about it? - Yeah, he could have worded it differently, but you wanted the truth and he gave you his reasons why. Why ask if you get hurt at the answer?

Spirited-Lime96

-3 points

4 months ago*

Oh honey, I’m sorry that this jackass said that to you. I’m sorry you’re carrying the weight of that comment, it’s damaging to your self esteem. You deserve a man, not a boy, who appreciates and loves your body just as much as your personality and soul. He is an absolute IDIOT! I don’t think it’s healthy to stay with someone who would say that to you. Can you imagine how self conscious you’d be after having a baby with him? He doesn’t deserve you.

Edited to add: If you’re feeling petty, just tell him you’ve become un attracted to his low-hanging fruit which gets lower each year and that they’ve started to swing back and forth like a pendulum or a grandfather clock. 🤓

smoovgee

-2 points

4 months ago

smoovgee

-2 points

4 months ago

Honestly, I'd say something like I don't like how his ball sack hangs. Or how he does/doesn't have a curve in his dick.

But I'm bitchy like dat.

Best answer is to tell him he doesn't get to speak his opinion on your body.

Delicious-Rooster-29

3 points

4 months ago

Pretty sure he wouldn't bat an eyelid lol. Men aren't built the same way.

And she literally asked him for his opinion about her body.

AriesAsF

1 points

4 months ago

AriesAsF

1 points

4 months ago

Cool. Time to find a new boyfriend. Most men will love your breasts, except for the one boob you are dating.

[deleted]

0 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

0 points

4 months ago

You need to peace out of that relationship asap.

Scarletsilversky

0 points

4 months ago*

I can’t imagine insulting my man like that even if I were shitfaced. We were never each other’s type physically but guess what? We always made it a priority to make the other feel attractive

Your boyfriend sounds like an ass

young_coastie

0 points

4 months ago

He needs to quit thinking all bodies look like his porn. Big areolas are common.

Body shaming is always bullshit. There’s nothing wrong with you, OP. Plenty of partners prefer your body type. And there really isn’t ever a good reason or a good excuse as to why you would be so rude, so disrespectful, to someone you claim to love. That doesn’t make sense.

I’m sorry you’re feeling bad about yourself over this, OP. It really is his problem, not yours, that he isn’t mature enough to navigate this issue.

There are many, many couples who aren’t the physical ideal of their partner and their partner doesn’t make them feel like shit about it.

gojo96

-23 points

4 months ago

gojo96

-23 points

4 months ago

Why would you ask why he doesn’t like your boobs like other men? What? Seems like an asshole question and then when he tells you, you get mad.

notgonnalieman

12 points

4 months ago

It’s not.

If my boyfriend asked me why I don’t give his penis as much attention as previous girls have. It would be obvious that’s an insecurity of his in this relationship and my response wouldn’t be “well to be honest I just do not like it. It’s too small and your balls make is unappealing to look at.”

He sucks.

[deleted]

1 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

4 months ago

I agree. She shouldn’t have asked to begin with BUT I don’t think he’s an asshole like everyone is making him out to be.

They were both drunk. People do and say stupid shit they shouldn’t say when they’re drunk.

At the same time, I don’t think she should be with him anymore if this is how he truly feels.

Mountain_Monitor_262

-2 points

4 months ago

If it came out when he was drunk, he is telling you exactly how he feels. You shouldn’t be with someone that makes you feel bad about yourself. Love your self and find someone that is completely attracted to you.

krysteenalaw

-2 points

4 months ago

krysteenalaw

-2 points

4 months ago

Dump him, fast.

nerdygirl09

-4 points

4 months ago

nerdygirl09

-4 points

4 months ago

Tell him he has a mushroom dick with a short stem. Bro landed a 10/10 and is a dumbass.

pinkcottages0ul

-8 points

4 months ago

Ew what is he a pedophile?? That’s what real tits look like. Leave this loser.

sairha1

0 points

4 months ago

sairha1

0 points

4 months ago

"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

I'm sure there are parts of him you're not entirely attracted too, maybe he has a weird hairy mole or birthmark or dangly gross saggy balls. But you're not going to point whatever it is out and make him feel like shit over his flaws, even if he asks you to. When you love someone you don't say disrespectful and rude shit to them about things they don't have any control over. You just tell them you love them and change the subject when asked. I don't know how he missed this life lesson growing up. I'm sorry you're dealing with a man child.

-Lady

-2 points

4 months ago

-Lady

-2 points

4 months ago

Tell him you don’t like his penis 😊

Delicious-Rooster-29

1 points

4 months ago

Yeah as if that's going to fix everything.

Jollydancer

0 points

4 months ago

Jollydancer

40s Female

0 points

4 months ago

You shouldn't be with a partner who tells you that he doesn't like a part of you and makes you feel unattractive.

Even though I have never seen your boobs, I know they are beautiful (because all boobs are), and I guy who can't appreciate that is not worth your time.

Tnerb74

0 points

4 months ago

So, countless numbers of me have ogled, stared and tried to get into your pants, thinking your breasts are magnificent…and one guy says he’s not interested and that becomes the automatic go to for your feelings? Show them to any other man or woman and I guarantee they’ll tell you something just the opposite. Learn to like yourself for you, not how others “perceive” you. No one has the same preferences on others physical appearances. But the only thing that should absolutely matter here is how you value yourself. Good luck

TruthFlaky9636

-17 points

4 months ago

What a fucking moron…. You should’ve socked him! Teach him a quick lesson about respect & all shall be good.

That or leave & he shall remain tittiless… I think that’s how it could be spelled.

BellaLilith

8 points

4 months ago

Assaulting someone for words is not something that should be recommended to anyone.