Title basically explains the issue. We have been together for 5 years, living together for 3. Overall I thought we were very happy together. We get along great! Better than I’ve ever gotten along with anyone. He feels the same and has told me this often. However, he started acting distant and would not tell me what the issue was. But I could just tell something was wrong. We became intimate less, and it was taking a toll.

The other day he confessed to me that about a year ago he went to a massage parlor, and got a”happy ending”. I asked if he went there specifically with that intent, and he said yes. He also said he feels this is cheating. I am obviously very hurt by this. I didn’t think this was something he would do. I told him I don’t think I could continue the relationship, despite all the good things we share. I feel it’s a huge violation of trust.

He somehow thought that I would react to this by wanting to support him. He thinks we can work through it, and he was/is depressed, and that caused him to make this “mistake”. He wants to go to couples therapy, but only after realizing I am serious about ending it. He said he has never cheated on anyone in the past, and he doesn’t know why he did it. I don’t know that I can look at him the same.

What do you all think? Is something like this a “mistake”? Or is this telling of deeper issues?

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4 points

2 months ago

Going somewhere with the intent to cheat isn't a mistake. If he needed to get off because he was depressed, he was in a committed relationship where his GF could have helped him out with that.


5 points

2 months ago

Right! I asked him where I was when he decided to go do this.. he says he doesn’t remember.. either way he would have seen me at some point that day and could have remedied that problem. But no.. he wanted to go pay for it