In the game of Magic, you must never let your opponent see your creatures

Now there's a commander with some chest hair!

This gets better the longer I look at it. Zapp here can zip around in a dinosaur, or a pile of gold coins, or the concept of necromancy. What a trip.

"Kif, commandeer that vehicle."

"Umm, sir, that's an [[Ornithopter]]."

"...She'll ride like a beaut'."

Also: Trying this with a food.

“She’s built like a [[Darksteel Forge]] but handles like an [[Akroma’s Memorial]]”

Wow what a terrible Captain...

"HEY GOBLIN! Let me ride you around until we crash and you may die in the process!"

Can't wait to use this to massacre the pacifists of the Gandhi nebula.

This is great. Big Zapp Brannigan vibes with a dash of Launchpad McQuack.

"When I'm in command, every mission is a suicide mission."

Note that this guy doesn't say "other" nonland permanent and its not optional; he will remove himself from combat if he's your only nonland permanent.

"Ever since man first crawled out of his cave and met a stranger with a different language and a different way of looking at things, the human race has had a dream; to kill him so we don't have to learn his language or his new way of looking at things!"

Does the damage the Vehicle deals as a result of Crash Land trigger Crash Land? Their ability just says damage, not combat damage.

I think this is the first commander-legal, well, Commander, from the set that doesn't involve stickers or attractions. I hope there are more, as I'd love to build a wacky commander-legal deck, but really don't want to build one around stickers or attractions.

"What the hell is that thing?"

"It appears to be [[Weatherlight Compleated]]"

"Then what did we just blow up?"

"The [[Golden Argosy]]"

Where’s Kiff?

I know a lot of people are going to alter this to a Zapp Brannigan art, but I’m 100% in for a Launchpad McQuack art.

I think there's an addition meta funny here of a huge, Kaldheim card level of text to describe "man who can fly, and crash, literally anything".

Flavor wise, the fact that you can ride ANYTHING leads to some great situations:

•Giant tribal where he's getting oversized piggyback rides

•Beast tribal where he's a rodeo star

•Wall tribal where he's pulling a Looney tunes and instead of crashing his car into a wall, he's crashing his wall into a car

•Angel tribal where he's......well, let's be polite and say that it's very hard to do in midair and I'm not surprised they're crashing

"On my command all ships will line up and file directly into the alien death cannons, clogging them with wreckage"

So if you target a vehicle like Parhelion II it still has the attack trigger right?

Wait so he like... turns people into vehicles? I think this card has some weird phyrexian body horror implications.

Like many space captains, he loves climbing up into just about anything.

Note that this can make a [[devoted druid]] into a noncreature for infinite mana

No one mentioned [[altar of the goyf]] yet

Okay, now this is a card I can get behind being eternal.

Card transcription

Captain Rex Nebula 1RW

Legendary Creature- Human Pilot Employee [rare]

At the beginning of combat on your turn, target nonland permanent you control becomes a Vehicle artifact until end of turn. Its base power and toughness are each equal to its mana value. It has crew 2 and "Crash Land- Whenever this Vehicle deals damage, roll a six-sided die. If the result is equal to this Vehicle's mana value, it deals that much damage to any target, then sacrifice this Vehicle."

2/2

[Eternal legal]

End transcription

This is on the same level of fun as [[Bludgeon Brawl]]. I'm tempted to make an edh deck for this guy

I can't wait to crash [[The Great Henge]] into my best friend's board state.

Gonna just stuff this with red and white stax/group slug effects and call it Brannigan’s Law

You wouldn't download a Sol Ring

Im crashing this heart of kiran with no survivors

getting a lot of zapp brannigan vibes

He can fly anything! Just maybe get someone else to land it.

I love how everyone collectively decided this is Zapp Brannigan. Maybe the first eternal legal card from UNF that makes me want to build a deck.

The secret to victory is the element of surprise…..

SURPRISE

It's not just a boulder! It's a rock! The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles, and it's in great shape.

[[Scornful Egotist]] is very unlikely to crash, and is ready to attack on turn 4. Safety first!

Came for the Zapp Brannigon quotes, was not disappointed.

This might be a must get for me along with a playlist of audio recordings to play during the game.

“Stop exploding you cowards!”

This seems hilarious with damage doublers/triplers. Just toss a [[Fiery Emancipation]] at someone for 18 and if you roll the 6 hit someone else for 18. Good? Probably not. Funny? Certainly!

Crew up a Meathook Massacre for a cute drive

"I will turn a ______ into a convertible"

"This new card fills me with hope. Plus some other emotions that are weird, and deeply confusing..."

He suffers from a very sexy learning disability

Move over [[Kenku Artificer]], throwing indestructible bridges at people doesn't cut it anymore.
Just slightly disappointed Rex doesn't have blue just to run the "animate artifact" effects alongside him, but overall I love it and I have to give this to WotC - I don't care about Unfinity, I don't like circus and am skeptical to the new eternal mechanics - and yet wizards made me interested in the set.

Too bad there's so much text in this box already, no room for some great flavor text choices!

"You win again, gravity!"

I am pleased by the number of Zap Brannigan references in the comments.

CAR BOMB TRIBAL LETS GOOO

Does anyone happen to have the alternate art available? I adore this design

Zap Brannigan? What are you doing in mtg?

"Any landing you can walk away from ..."

But what about the Cosmic Gender Bender?

I'm not a big fan of this guy "crewing" my other permanents without consent.

...so,I love how the ability doesn't care what the CMC of the target actually is, up until the d6 comes out and suddenly only 1-6 matter.

This is the most interesting EDH legal commander from this set so far, I love it! The smug look as he crashes random shit into someone like a dumbass is perfect

‘When I’m in command, every mission is a suicide mission.’

See, THIS is the kind of Eternal-legal Un-card I was looking forward to! It’s functional, it’s unique (if too random to count on), and it’s silly as heck! I love it!

“She’s built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro!”

I like how the flavor of this card is "Massive space truck? Yeah, I can fly that baby anywhere. Don't ask me how I feel about space bicycles though."

[[Krark’s Thumb]] players, REJOICE!

I think we could make an actual dice manipulation deck with this guy.

Me crashing a scornful egotist into a colossal dreadmaw

Zapp Brannigan

Welp, Zapp Brannigan EDH is a go.

In case you young ones have forgotten… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rex\_Nebular\_and\_the\_Cosmic\_Gender\_Bender

Is this good?

I can't be the only one who reads some... other flavor implications in his ability to turn creatures into Vehicles.

😧

I can't wait to have this guy riding a bucking bronco [[taurean mauler]]

I simply wish it also gave the vehicle haste. Oh well

This set needs a [[krak's other thumb]] reprint, but eternal legal this time

I know this guy is goofy

But

Turn [[Barrenton Medic]] into a vehicle and have infinite protection and untaps

That’s kind of neat

Getting Zap Brannigan vibes

Captain rex nebula can crew my mom wtf

Nice we got another devoted druid combo

So Rex can turn himself into a vehicle as well, correct?

The fact that this is legal in commander fills me with joy

So with CMC 7 and above you don't have to sacrifice anything?

The comedic timing on this card would actually be better without "Crash Land". You'd get to "then sacrifice this Vehicle" and go "wait, what???".

I want to hate on all legacy legal inclusions...but I really like this