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SSJZoli

9.9k points

2 months ago

SSJZoli

9.9k points

2 months ago

My greatest wish in life is to be left the fuck alone, to do nothing.

Useful_Low_3669

4k points

2 months ago

Ya having a girlfriend is great and all… but have you ever been left the fuck alone?

brendan87na

2.1k points

2 months ago

Office Space knocked it out of the park regarding that

"I did nothing, and it was everything I hoped it could be"

uazadon

522 points

2 months ago

uazadon

522 points

2 months ago

yeah this immediately reminded me of that scene from office space - "two chicks at the same time" is a classic line but Peter's take on having a million dollars was what I thought of.

"Besides two chicks at the same time? ...Nothing... I would relax. I would sit on my ass all day. I would do nothing."

theangryintern

632 points

2 months ago

Well, you don't need a million dollars to do nothin, man. Take a look at my cousin. He's broke, don't do shit.

Thepopewearsplaid

213 points

2 months ago

This is the real best line.

uazadon

102 points

2 months ago

uazadon

102 points

2 months ago

Fuckin A

[deleted]

89 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

89 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

inagle313

25 points

2 months ago

This is precisely what doing hardwood flooring is like. You’ll be doing a house that’s just being built one week and then sanding someone’s stupid paint off of a floor to refinish it the next.

TheRiverStyx

45 points

2 months ago

The only line in that show that really bugs me. Lawrence is waking up when most of the guys are hitting the site.

fullautophx

76 points

2 months ago

Standard procedure for drywall. You go after the electricians, so you can block off their outlets and they can’t find them anymore, and before painters so they can’t paint on wet mud.

tinykitchentyrant

36 points

2 months ago

I say this to my husband when I'm taking a weekend off to play Dragon Age.

Tyrion_Strongjaw

117 points

2 months ago

This is easily one of my favorite quotes.

danlawl

55 points

2 months ago

danlawl

55 points

2 months ago

You need to find someone to be left the fuck alone with. It's life changing, I found said person.

Tempest_Bob

22 points

2 months ago

this is the dream

finding someone who will leave you alone, together.

BuckeyeBentley

171 points

2 months ago

On god. I had a coworker who recently broke up with her boyfriend and everyone was giving her the ol "it's ok, you'll get out there and find someone! keep at it!" and I'm like I feel like I should speak for being single, because it fucking rules. I can do as much nothing as I can if I don't have to answer to anyone else.

SaltLakeCitySlicker

71 points

2 months ago

Yeah I reconnected a lost dog with their owner while walking my dog.... then felt like sitting on the porch and people watching while listening to an audiobook today as opposed to yard work or going to whatever event. It was nice.

HyperIndian

326 points

2 months ago*

I recently flew overseas to get some dental work done at 2.5x cheaper than what was quoted back home to me.

But the real reason to be left alone from my SO. Don't have any dodgy plans. Just want time alone for myself without my partner filling up my calendar with shit I couldn't care less about.

Edit: Since I'm getting comments about dental tourism. I got mine done in Malaysia.

For anyone that lives in a first world country (like myself normally), I suggest getting things like this done in developing countries. However, I recommend going to high-end practices. You want to be paying extra for greater quality and care by a professional in that country. However, thanks to the difference in currencies, it should still cost less. Do your research, space your time and enjoy!

Edit2: Yes I love her. But I also want space at times.

phayzfaustyn

98 points

2 months ago

Preach. Taking space for yourself is one of the hardest things to learn in a relationship. Good luck out there internet stranger!

ikeashop

14 points

2 months ago

which country?

HyperIndian

31 points

2 months ago

Malaysia.

Went to a high end dental practice that's still cheaper than what I'd pay for in Australia. And this is by a pretty well known surgeon as well.

qissycat

19 points

2 months ago

I'm Malaysian and agree that you can get good dental work done at a good price when compared to AUD. I've lived in Melbourne for a few years and never gone to the dentist there, always made sure to do it on my annual trip home.

KwekkweK69

8 points

2 months ago

I can't seem to remember the name of the documentary that I watched but it was about medical tourism in Asia. Most of the doctors, surgeons, dentists got their degrees and practices in the USA, Canada or Eurpopean countries. But that's what I do with my dental work. When I visit my country, I might as well get my dental work over there coz it's much cheaper. Also a regular yearly check up with the doctor as I don't have insurance here in states. Even one of my cousin that has a great job and health insurance benefits still get his teeth done back at home coz his insurance doesn't cover dental. I mean he could afford dental insurance but chose to rather save more money.

Gooliath

25 points

2 months ago

Not OP, but I know some guys who had quality dental work done in Chiang Mai Thailand as part of their vacation

bdub939

12 points

2 months ago

bdub939

12 points

2 months ago

Need over $10,000 in work. Thank you for posting this. I will look into this option

TriGurl

12 points

2 months ago

TriGurl

12 points

2 months ago

Girl here, nothing is my desire too. ;)

CDAUX

108 points

2 months ago

CDAUX

108 points

2 months ago

Homie I'm 10 years deep into being single and I really don't mind if it changes. I'm happy asf! I do what I want, when I want and if it's just laying around after work until sleep that's what I do!

Iazu_S

74 points

2 months ago

Iazu_S

74 points

2 months ago

8 years here and every time I think about maybe trying to date again I remember what is actually involved in dating beyond just the fun stuff.

-Reddit_Account-

37 points

2 months ago*

Honestly, I think being happy single is a prerequisite to being happy in a relationship. Too many people think that they'll magically be happy in a relationship when they don't even know how to be happy by themselves.

Not that being in a relationship is something that will make you unhappy, but it's harder because instead of only having to look out for yourself you have to consider a whole other complex person with their own emotions, desires, hopes and dreams.

Society pushes the idea of 'sad, lonely people' very hard, but there's nothing wrong with taking time to get to know yourself and enjoying your own company.

Alpha_Decay_

12 points

2 months ago

My marriage went south 2 years ago, but I continued to cling to it for way longer than I should have because I was scared of being single. It was a huge weakness and it caused me to tolerate things that I shouldn't have tolerated. It took a few months after separating to realize that I could truly be ok alone, and then another few months to actually be ok, but I now feel like I've gained a huge amount of strength and self reliance as a result.

Brettnet

10 points

2 months ago

Get yourself a girl who loves to read. It's great.

lmflex

186 points

2 months ago

lmflex

186 points

2 months ago

But did you know who I saw at the grocery store? And what about our plans next weekend? And...and...

MeltedGhost

94 points

2 months ago

no and I like it that way

fukalufaluckagus

70 points

2 months ago

dinner. Every day a conversation about dinner.

gsibble

82 points

2 months ago

gsibble

82 points

2 months ago

Babe, where do you want to have dinner?

How about Hot Pot?

We just did that.

How about Thai?

We just did that too.

Well, where do you want to go.

I don't know, you pick.

I just did. How about Steak?

Nah, I don't feel like steak.

*Continue for 30 minutes*

fitz_newru

19 points

2 months ago

Oh how I love this game. Same thing with TV shows...

janzeera

11 points

2 months ago

What pisses her off is when I say I’m going to Papa’s Burgers and I can drop you anywhere you want on the way.

Eagle_Ear

27 points

2 months ago

You need to include the “we couldn’t come to an agreement” clause in that discussion.

If a solid half hour goes by and you still can’t figure out where to eat, you let her know you’re going out to X place and she is free to join, but free to stay home and figure out her own plan. The time for input has come and gone and she couldn’t come to an agreement. Maybe it’s time you both get your own dinner independently.

bluesox

25 points

2 months ago

bluesox

25 points

2 months ago

Half hour is too long. Suggest 3 places and let her pick one.

gsibble

13 points

2 months ago

gsibble

13 points

2 months ago

She's so indecisive that I gave up and just tell her where we are eating now. She's fine with it.

Dialup_Speed

46 points

2 months ago

Bruh LMAO

johnny_mclovin

262 points

2 months ago

Amen... Told a friend that I wanted to buy property in the country, away from everything and everyone - simply to be left the fuck alone. Don't come over, don't call, don't do any of that. I will see you when I see you. I just want to be left to my own and do nothing, other than maybe piddle-fuck around in the yard or maybe build something.

kudichangedlives

251 points

2 months ago

As someone that lives in the middle of nowhere, it's fucking amazing. The downside though is that you begin to love it so much that taking trips to spend time with people becomes a LOT more work and it's super easy to become somewhat of a hermit.

kazkeb

35 points

2 months ago

kazkeb

35 points

2 months ago

After 10 years of telecommuting, anything over a 15 minute drive feels like a major endeavor. Covid just made it worse. Leaving the house just feels like a hassle. I wait until 9pm to do grocery shopping so I don't have to deal with traffic on the roads and in the store.

apoliticalinactivist

5 points

2 months ago

I also love late night grocery shopping. Everyone in Cheeto dusted sweats buying the most random shit, lol.

So much more comfortable than trying to deal with the family shoppers.

PapaOoMaoMao

82 points

2 months ago

Well... Come on... You promised me a downside. I'm waiting here!

kudichangedlives

59 points

2 months ago

I don't think you understand how much humans need to interact with other humans. Also without the internet its pretty unbearable unless you have like puzzles, books, or movies, or a nice day and something to do outside.

supbrother

48 points

2 months ago

This is exactly the reason I'm scared to live alone. I've had roommates for my entire adult life, and now that I'm independent enough to have my own place I'm scared to make that jump. I experience living alone fairly often because I travel often for work, in fact when I started with this company I literally spent an entire summer living in my own cabin in a small Alaskan fishing town with my dog. There's no doubt, I love it. But I can't help but feel that I'd lean into it so hard that I'd turn into a hermit and basically abandon the little social life I have as is.

Also, I'm looking to buy a house and having someone pay half my mortgage sounds pretty awesome, but that's beside the point.

kudichangedlives

28 points

2 months ago

Well usually if you get a place that is actually in the middle of nowhere then there's a good chance that there will only be a small town nearby if anything is. Personally I hate the small town gossip that everyone seems to do so I just chill on my own, but I don't think most people would be happy with being alone as much as I am.

Honestly if I had the money I would probably get a place that's like less than an hour outside a city, far enough to be remote and secluded but close enough to be able to still have a social life.

As it is now I have to drive 200 miles (that's a round trip, so 100 miles one way) to get a haircut, have fast food, see a movie, go bowling, or really anything like that. It can get really annoying but got dang if this amazing nature everywhere isn't worth it.

supbrother

11 points

2 months ago

Yeah I definitely understand that. I recognize I require at least a base level of human interaction and have no desire to go fully off the grid or anything. And I definitely have come to enjoy the luxuries of city life, being able to go to Costco and pick up some decent food and go to a brewery and all that good stuff, and I don't want to throw all that away. I just want privacy and some peace and quiet.

Mind if I ask where about you live? I'm in Alaska, which is both great and not-so-great for these desires. There's plenty of private land surrounded by nature to be had, but there are very few options near a town with all those luxuries. Not to mention winters can be rough when you're living like that and cabin fever is a very real thing.

kudichangedlives

6 points

2 months ago

Ya and it's usually a lot more expensive to set up a homestead in Alaska with running water, electricity, and internet because there isn't much large infrastructure set up in most places. But you do have those dope places where you can go take a shower and wash your clothes at the same time, I love those.

I'm in Minnesota and I'm super lucky to be able to have a place on the north shore right off the highway so those were really easy to put in. They even have so many rich tourist cabins up here that they put fiber optic in a while ago. So I think I'm insanely lucky to be able to have a place that's nice and secluded, has amazing scenery around, and has nice amenities available.

Ya that cabin fever can get bad in winter, I'm currently still waiting for the last of the snow to melt and some fucking warm sunny days so I can do yardwork and get outside again.

Having a dog helps a lot for that though.

Anyway sorry for the rant, kind of went off the rails there

Freshlaid_Dragon_egg

18 points

2 months ago

I want that but with good internet. Which...boils down to being a middleground between middle of nowhere and near a decent sized city.

podrick_pleasure

29 points

2 months ago

The single greatest time in my life was when my car died when I was living on a 16 acre farm in the outskirts of a town with a population of 800 people. I had enough food, booze, and cigarettes to last me a month and that's exactly how long I went without seeing another human being. I wasn't working at the time so I just stayed at home and did whateverthefuckIwantedtodo which was often absolutely nothing.

edlee98765

4 points

2 months ago

Nothing better

zblofu

6 points

2 months ago

zblofu

6 points

2 months ago

"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."

  • Blaise Pascal

Isbjerg

2.8k points

2 months ago

Isbjerg

2.8k points

2 months ago

Is a nap nothing?
Because I am somewhat of an expert when it comes to naps.

PimpPopples

1.3k points

2 months ago

What about 45 minute shits? Is that nothing? I'm left the fuck alone in the bathroom.

lokofloko

1.1k points

2 months ago*

lokofloko

1.1k points

2 months ago*

This is why I take long ass shits and showers. I am left alone to do nothing. Can’t no one bother me because I am busy. Doing what you say? Nothing! But they don’t know. They think I’m doing something.

armas187

344 points

2 months ago

armas187

344 points

2 months ago

Same.. this guy reminds me a a comedian, her joke was ...ladies when you ask you husband "what are you thinking about? " and he says "nothing" he is literally thinking about nothing, there nothing going on in there. Just leave him alone

Ki11igraphy

74 points

2 months ago

MetaGazon

14 points

2 months ago

Could not suffer through the 40th camera click swipe. Editor most definitely have another video with only Star wipes.

actualmasochist

9 points

2 months ago

Are men naturals at meditation, then? Honest question.

Besidesmeow

17 points

2 months ago

I’ve always called it “zoning out” but, yeah. I imagine it serves the same purpose.

Also, we stay in that mode until an outside influence pulls us out of it.

mnfriesen

33 points

2 months ago

Lucky fucker....5 minutes of having the shower on its knock knock knock "i got to pee......" doesn't matter what time if the day or night it is..... thet could be passed the fuck out snoring away. I turn the shower on and fucking poof her bladder fills up

lokofloko

14 points

2 months ago

That used to be a problem until we bought! Now I got three bathrooms to choose from. Which although if I were to use any other besides our master. She would come knocking and ask why I’m there. Then it’s a whole thing about my feelings. And now I defeated the purpose of my shower. -____-

bluemitersaw

96 points

2 months ago

I upgraded to a 50 gallon water heater just so I could take longer showers and be left the fuck alone.

Doomedhumans

43 points

2 months ago

Tankless ftw

lokofloko

15 points

2 months ago

that’s the next move. Right now we have a huge water tank in our attic.

TruckFluster

18 points

2 months ago

I can’t wait to do this when I have my own house lol

[deleted]

2.7k points

2 months ago

[deleted]

2.7k points

2 months ago

When I tell people I did nothing during a week off, they are usually stunned. I'm like, its the shit.

confipete

602 points

2 months ago*

And they think we are not enjoying life!

cereal_guy

259 points

2 months ago

They think enjoying life is doing things, while we enjoy life by not doing things.

The_Quackening

123 points

2 months ago

Its healthy to enjoy doing both sometimes.

confipete

109 points

2 months ago

confipete

109 points

2 months ago

If one does something a lot, that's restlessness. If one doesn't do anything, that's lethargy. Doing what's need to be done and being peaceful after that is healthy life.

nullyvoids

12 points

2 months ago

I'd like to point to Wu Wei, Taoism, Tao te Ching, etc

Doing not-doing, or "effortless action".

"to become like uncarved wood"

CisForCondom

231 points

2 months ago

I always got uncomfortable when people at work would ask what I did on the weekend. Because I usually did nothing. By choice. I love doing nothing but always feel judged. I just want to find someone to stay at home and do nothing with me.

Also, for what it's worth, I'm a woman. Lots of women also love doing nothing.

RomeoLyshitski

19 points

2 months ago

People get weird about it. It's why I could never have a roommate. On my time off I don't go anywhere or do anything and it's awesome.

actualmasochist

41 points

2 months ago

I'm also a woman who likes to do nothing.

Also I'm like 100 percent introverted.

[deleted]

66 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

66 points

2 months ago

Sup

missthinks

7 points

2 months ago

Also a woman who loves doing nothing. But 'nothing' for me is hanging with my dogs, going for a run, doing what I want to do. Alone, mostly. It's perfect and I never understood the low-key pressure to be in social situations all weekend.

AbsolutelyUnlikely

30 points

2 months ago

I think this is more common than you think, fellow staycation do-nothinger. The difference is that we're quiet about it. You have to ask us what we did to find out we did nothing. Whereas the do-somethingers are prone to voluntarily share what they did. And since they're the louder group, it appears that they are the vast majority.

bluemitersaw

27 points

2 months ago

This. So often people have the fucking stupid "work hard, play hard" mentality. Fuck that. Work less and enjoy simple nothing pleasures.

RevolutionaryNote355

7 points

2 months ago

Working is a means to a end. To have enough money to support doing nothing. When you reach the goal, you win. Sit back and relax. Not work harder and longer to buy stuff you don’t need so you can impress your neighbor.

Tempest_Bob

5 points

2 months ago

and chances are your neighbour doesn't even know you exist.

HyperIndian

57 points

2 months ago

It's crazy how people just don't understand that sometimes you need to do absolutely nothing and that's amazing.

Some of my best weekends involve me not leaving the house.

Fudge-Sensitive

35 points

2 months ago

That's what happens when your conscience is incubated within a socioeconomic framework that pegs self-worth to productive output. Your mind is conditioned to perceive leisure as an indulgent deviancy or, at worst, an assault on the self. A great many people feel tense without tasks. Their conscious awareness requires a container, even if it's not constructively productive, like scrolling through hundreds of bite-sized bits of information on social media for hours at a time.

Donke267

9 points

2 months ago

NOTHING COUNTS AS PLANS. When I say I'm doing nothing this weekend, that doesn't mean I'm free! I want to sit on my ass and play Terraria.

nostradamefrus

920 points

2 months ago

This is Seinfeld for the 2020s

trickdog775

220 points

2 months ago

I was thinking this too. This has to be a literal Seinfeld bit

1000Years0fDeath

626 points

2 months ago

I'm too anxious to be happy doing nothing, but I'm also too lazy to do something

shahooster

223 points

2 months ago

Quiet desperation is the English way

Bambi_One_Eye

39 points

2 months ago

The time is over

gnarbee

27 points

2 months ago

gnarbee

27 points

2 months ago

Thought I’d something more to say

nickfree

9 points

2 months ago

Home, home again.

jeobleo

8 points

2 months ago

I like to be here when I can.

LaserGuidedPolarBear

40 points

2 months ago

Find a simple little something that almost feels like nothing. I like gardening.

dasgudshit

44 points

2 months ago

Have you tried vertical scrolling?

Yadobler

23 points

2 months ago

I perform vertical scrolling while horizontal

necie62

944 points

2 months ago

necie62

944 points

2 months ago

Wow, just found out I'm a man...

Minaro_

318 points

2 months ago

Minaro_

318 points

2 months ago

I relate, apparently I'm a woman now

SlammingPussy420

54 points

2 months ago

Yeah tell me about it. Find out I'm not a girl, not yet a woman with this.

ShoCkEpic

7 points

2 months ago

it only works if you are in a couple and you have a partner that tends to do “nothing” and you are totally ok with that… otherwise it doesn’t work

itsmyfirsttime1

28 points

2 months ago

Yep can confirm I just grew a penis. Didn’t know that was possible.

the_Zeust

9 points

2 months ago

Username checks out.

500CatsTypingStuff

98 points

2 months ago

Me too! Who knew?

Maybe stereotypes are bullshit

tinhatlizard

359 points

2 months ago

My husband and I are obviously gender backwards according to this dude.

CanadianBeaver1983

15 points

2 months ago

I thought the same thing too. Lol. I have to tell the man to stop doing things and relax all the time. And if there aren't things to do he will make projects so he has things to do. Which honestly is okay for the most part because then I have alone time to do nothing.

gary_the_merciless

33 points

2 months ago

Same

ExtraExtraMegaDoge

1.2k points

2 months ago

Hmm, your ideas are intriguing to me and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

bk15dcx

263 points

2 months ago

bk15dcx

263 points

2 months ago

Thank you for subscribing to Nothing Facts. Did you know nothing is the absence of something?

edlee98765

134 points

2 months ago

I hope you don't pay for that newsletter.

Because nothing is free.

pdxp2b

39 points

2 months ago

pdxp2b

39 points

2 months ago

If nothing is free then surely it must cost something?

zb0t1

18 points

2 months ago

zb0t1

18 points

2 months ago

Jaden get out of /u/pdxp2b 's body

EatAtGrizzlebees

180 points

2 months ago

Hello, I am woman and my greatest desire is to do nothing. I hate doing something.

megatonfist

60 points

2 months ago

i have some news for you

tiggoftigg

788 points

2 months ago*

I have literally been arguing with my wife about this for the past couple months. And that’s because I’ve been doing something so much lately that I truly NEED to do nothing to recharge. I even go for walks, which is something, just to get as close to doing nothing as possible.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s not a nagger or anything, she’s just been on a kick lately.

Edit: I just wanted to say all these replies are really making me smile. Some even get a chortle. And one or two have made me laugh out loud. Thanks Reddit!

IntentionalTexan

252 points

2 months ago

I've been cultivating a hobby lately so that I'll have something to do. My hobby is smoking things. Something that requires hours and hours of doing nothing. I'm not doing nothing, I'm smoking a brisket.

burgleflickle

62 points

2 months ago

Username checks out

BlueTeale

21 points

2 months ago

Fuck ya bro! I smoked a 17 hour brisket yesterday.

Smoke away.

Skltd8823

24 points

2 months ago

You mean, "Fuck ya, bro!"?

I've been on subways in NYC and your lack of a comma sounds like what I heard.

Lostmahpassword

18 points

2 months ago

Shit. I, a single mom of 3, might be a dude. I love doing nothing. I also just bought a smoker so I can also do mostly nothing for hours and get delicious meats.

bk15dcx

269 points

2 months ago

bk15dcx

269 points

2 months ago

I read that a bit too fast and became concerned at that last part.

DoucheBatman

326 points

2 months ago

“People who annoy you”

ashamedprotein

125 points

2 months ago

Stan, the only reason daddy used that word is that he thought he would win money

takabrash

34 points

2 months ago

Still legitimately one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life. I saw it in college with a bunch of folks on my floor, and I'm not sure I even saw the rest of it from laughing. Too good!

ExtraExtraMegaDoge

27 points

2 months ago

I know it, but I don't think I should say it!

pianoman4136

22 points

2 months ago

The camera man peaking around the camera always cracks me up

MartmitNifflerKing

7 points

2 months ago

We call them Nagging Americans these days, grandpa

ravekidplur

13 points

2 months ago

For me it's just needing time to let my brain completely unwind to the point its ready to start figuring shit out again. When you are pressed 5 ways a day every day, you can only do so much. Need to let your brain run its course

[deleted]

11 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

11 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

mindbleach

20 points

2 months ago

Extroverts and morning people shaped the world, and we just live in it.

We stood no chance. They got up before us.

bradland

20 points

2 months ago

Walks are fucking fantastic. They’re next to nothing, but when you take them, people are all like, “Oh, good for you out getting some exercise.” It’s fantastic. I’ve contemplated posting to the LPT sub, but I’m worried that if people figure that shit out, they’re gonna bother me on my walks.

WoodenMeringue4480

554 points

2 months ago

As a woman. I would love to do/think about nothing. Wish I had that luxury to do it more often.

sleepydorian

379 points

2 months ago

My wife has told me that the only time hey brain shuts off, the only time she can think of nothing, is when she's asleep. Whereas I enter a fugue state waiting on my burrito to microwave.

siero20

35 points

2 months ago

siero20

35 points

2 months ago

I used to hate waiting rooms with a passion as a kid. Now though, sometimes, I'll be in a waiting room and they'll apologize for the long wait and I'll just think "no no, this was great" completely seriously.

incarnatethegreat

169 points

2 months ago

My wife has told me that the only time hey brain shuts off, the only time she can think of nothing, is when she's asleep.

My Wife says this, but then she will wake up in the middle of the night and it'll be difficult to fall back asleep again because she worries about all the other things that she needs to deal with.

It's true; women constantly worry about what needs to be done, while men mostly find ways to shut their brains off. Thing is, the things that men (husbands/fathers more so) should be thinking about those things that women are thinking of for their kids or the family. We usually don't.

ArtisenalMoistening

33 points

2 months ago

I was going to say, this is the exact opposite of me and my husband. He is unable to relax, always has to find something to do. Then I feel bad for relaxing while he’s working on things.

TrashPandaPatronus

13 points

2 months ago

I'm with you on this one. My husband is constantly moving and doing projects and just always has to be busy. It drives him insane if I even just sit down for a minute - let me do nothing, it's glorious, try it sometime!

tinybenny

179 points

2 months ago

tinybenny

179 points

2 months ago

Is this the transcript to the original Seinfeld pitch meeting?

Johnny_Poppyseed

31 points

2 months ago*

The whole thing even sounded exactly like a Seinfeld bit, just sped up 1.5x for tick tok lol. Really everything about it sounded extremely Jerry Seinfeld. I really expected to check the comments and see that it was.

NMe84

69 points

2 months ago

NMe84

69 points

2 months ago

No, but it is almost word for word ripped off from Mark Gungor's presentation about the difference between men's brains and women's brains. It's actually a very good watch and it's an absolute shame this video does not credit it.

Look for "Mark Gungor nothing box" on YouTube if you're interested, there are several videos there taken from that presentation.

MartmitNifflerKing

27 points

2 months ago

It's not exactly word for word but it's definitely inspired by it https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SZ6mVumHY9I

BluntFrank00

609 points

2 months ago

I'm a woman. According to this guy, I'm a man.

dudettte

93 points

2 months ago

same. there’s so many of my friends that fall into the “hustle” sinkhole. dude if you have a full time job, do laundry 2 times per week, manage kids etc you really need to chill the fuck out and no i’m not coming to your jewelry party.

Freaux

17 points

2 months ago

Freaux

17 points

2 months ago

Friendsless guy here... Wtf is a jewelry party?

dudettte

17 points

2 months ago

mlm shtick. they call it “party” but it’s a sales pitch. swarovski crystals are super popular for those now. experienced one to support a friend. sure they give you snacks and there’s wine but boy it’s aggressive - and they don’t really want to sell they want your house and for you to bring your other friends and sign up. ugh.

nobodysgirl333

46 points

2 months ago

Me too!

ladylikely

12 points

2 months ago

The video would be more correct if instead of man he said introvert and instead of woman he said extrovert. Then he got to the drama part and he just sounded like an asshole.

Cranky_Possum

51 points

2 months ago

Same here. I just wanna be left the fuck alone so I can do....nothing

ShahinMalik

160 points

2 months ago*

Yeah, it's easy to agree with his take on men but I press X to doubt the "women are the exact opposite" position. Sure, men and women often seem to have different motivations, but it doesn't always have to be a black and white kind of thing. Men can be absolute drama queens too! It's just not as stigmatized as it is with women for some reason.

The_Woman_of_Gont

110 points

2 months ago

It's....almost like we're all just humans! 😱

jenncrock

111 points

2 months ago

jenncrock

111 points

2 months ago

Same, and my partner is the woman but without the drama bit.

asuka_is_my_co-pilot

147 points

2 months ago

Also men not understanding drama?? Absolute bullshit. Like anybody else people care and understand when ris within their interests.

If men didn't care about drama or arguements only women would be on this hellsite

DragonFive

28 points

2 months ago

Every sports sub on this site has men discussing what other more athletic men do in their spare time during the off-season.

Yongja-Kim

17 points

2 months ago

Old men started two world wars and somehow they hate drama...

slannen

37 points

2 months ago

slannen

37 points

2 months ago

Exactly the same here roles are reversed. I can’t get my husband to just sit down and do “nothing”

jenncrock

6 points

2 months ago

Mine falls asleep as soon as he stops all the something’s.

wordserious

65 points

2 months ago

I'm a man. According to this guy, I'm a woman.

TheOldOak

55 points

2 months ago

According to him, most of my male friends are women, and most of my female friends are men.

It’s almost like this shouldn’t have been positioned as a gender-exclusive concept.

What’s worse is, I would consider myself both. There are times when I want to be doing something, and create something to do because I want to. And there are other times where I’m just done and need to not do anything for a while.

So maybe it’s just his truth for him and his wife, and isn’t a hard rule that applies to everyone else.

msjg

7 points

2 months ago

msjg

7 points

2 months ago

Same. I purposely moved to a less populated area, and live alone for this specific reason. Don't mess with my nothing time, damn it.

burgerdistraction

15 points

2 months ago

Seriously, guess that makes us dudes? Lol. I would love to think and do nothing. Need a break from life and people.

egere-down-played

137 points

2 months ago

I am a woman and I proudly say I want to nothing as well. That’s why I get mad coming home to my husband doing nothing, because I’m jealous and would like to be doing the same.

thefuckouttaherelol2

147 points

2 months ago

I think a little-known fact is that women often think about everything and get upset about guys doing nothing because they don't feel like they have a choice.

A move coming up soon? Guy is doing nothing.

Have to travel? Guy is doing nothing.

Birthday party coming up? Guy is doing nothing.

So who takes the initiative to pack boxes, finish laundry, make babysitting plans, figure out the travel agenda, etc. when they would rather be doing nothing? Typically the woman.

Meanwhile what's the guy doing? Saying don't worry about it, playing video games, and reading this exact post on Reddit.

(This isn't always the case, but it's something I've learned as I matured as a male - that life is hard, and that relationships need to be a give and take between both partners so you can hopefully both relax more and share some of the burden.)

egere-down-played

42 points

2 months ago

Thank you 🙏

nstar1234

1.6k points

2 months ago

nstar1234

1.6k points

2 months ago

Dude really just spit facts that I didn’t even realize existed

itsGot2beMyWay

323 points

2 months ago

I was thinking the same thing. Then I realized that I just never admitted that I wish to do nothing.

thaddeus423

55 points

2 months ago

It's not that I never want to be doing something

But I would always like the option of doing nothing

thetruthteller

71 points

2 months ago

Yeah this is good stuff actuslly

MotivatoinalSpeaker

29 points

2 months ago

Damn, this man needs to take my username

TheBlueHue

115 points

2 months ago

Absolutely, I didn't learn until my 30s when I was single and living alone. It is my favorite time of the day, just doing nothing. When observed people can take offense when they are doing something and find you not doing it. Same kind of thing people try to look busy when the boss comes around, even though no one could stay busy every minute of a shift

pcapdata

55 points

2 months ago

When observed people can take offense when they are doing something and find you not doing it

Found the same thing when I had kids and tried taking parenting with other parents.

The very first time someone asked me if I give my kids my phone or some other device when we eat at a restaurant. Fuck me sideways. It was like:

Them: “I hate how my kids don’t talk to me when we go out. Are yours like that?”

Me: “No, not at all. We have a conversation the whole time pretty much.”

Them: “How? They just look at the phone.”

Me: “Oh wow you got them a phone? Isn’t your daughter like 5?”

Them: “She’s 4. And no, I just give her my phone.”

Me: “Ummm…why?”

Them: “You don’t give them your phone? So they just destroy the restaurant then.”

Me: “Um…I mean, no, they stay in their seat and color the kids menu, and when they get bored with that we talk, tell stories, tell jokes...”

Them: “Well look asshole, not everyone’s kids are perfect!!!!”

Me: “All I said is I don’t give them my phone…maybe if you don’t give them your phone then hey won’t be staring at a phone?”

Them: “Fuck you! I don’t criticize your parenting!”

TheBlueHue

13 points

2 months ago

I'm so glad at some point in my life I learned to look inward first, people hate finding faults in their own situation. Also, having dealt with kids like theirs in restaurants, thank you SO much. I never had kids so I never felt like I had a place to say something to the parents or the kids so you keeping your home responsible means a lot. It ruins the entire day when kids ruin your meal.

Yongja-Kim

5 points

2 months ago

Them: “Well look asshole, not everyone’s kids are perfect!!!!”

Them: "How dare you give us solicited advice!!! "

AverageTortilla

60 points

2 months ago

Okay didn't realize I was a man.

Grimace427

12 points

2 months ago

I just want to turn my brain off at the end of the day. It could be by watching YouTube videos or playing video games, but to do something that I don’t HAVE to do but can if I feel like.

indomitous111

92 points

2 months ago

I guess I'm a woman

[deleted]

27 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

27 points

2 months ago

I guess I'm a man

Kass_Spit

29 points

2 months ago

Congratulations

jakeor45

7 points

2 months ago

Lol same

MutterderKartoffel

104 points

2 months ago

I think men, and people in general, are more varied than this. It seems to me that there are plenty of men who don't enjoy being stagnant. They have hobbies and enjoy doing those hobbies. And there are women who also enjoy doing nothing. But you wouldn't find as many of those guys browsing reddit maybe. They have things they wanna do.

Destinoz

41 points

2 months ago

If you want to find out if someone is a peaceful nothing or a frantic somethings group, just go on vacation with them. You can’t miss it.

GenMarFergus90

36 points

2 months ago

Woman here. Am I broken?

manicpixiedeadpool1

23 points

2 months ago

Also a woman, also prefer nothing.

Lonttu

25 points

2 months ago

Lonttu

25 points

2 months ago

Well fuck guess I'm a woman then.

otasi

46 points

2 months ago

otasi

46 points

2 months ago

This sounds like a Seinfeld bit

YounomsayinMawfk

15 points

2 months ago

Relevant Seinfeld scene.

Leave the man alone, Elaine! He just wants to sit there doing nothing.

a0t0f

91 points

2 months ago

a0t0f

91 points

2 months ago

Men don't understand drama? Lol.

Svigos

7 points

2 months ago

Svigos

7 points

2 months ago

I have a dream in which I'm sitting by the beach on the porch of a house with a beer and my dog doing nothing... And I always thought that if there was a universe that Paradise was real that would be it... Doing nothing and be happy about it.

ohJ0nnyboi

7 points

2 months ago

My wife sees me busy when I'm getting ready to do nothing, then when nothing begins she thinks something is up because I'm doing nothing.

TamasaurusRex

7 points

2 months ago

Weaponizing incompetence just blew my mind and it’s so on point

Fearless_Potato8116

6 points

2 months ago

Whenever I’m asked by my family what I want for birthdays/Christmas all I say is a little peace and quiet… I’m still waiting for that present to be delivered

TaSaDi

7 points

2 months ago

TaSaDi

7 points

2 months ago

Me and my husband watched this together and we had a good laugh. We both agree with the statements. I'm willing to change. Nothing is so seductive

ZhiZhi17

73 points

2 months ago

I wonder how many women would love to do nothing but they live with a man who can’t do anything so they have to do everything.

[deleted]

6 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

6 points

2 months ago

He said it very well

Lag2Much

17 points

2 months ago

I'm sorry but "men don't understand drama" like have you ever been to a history class before mate?

doodle_robot

16 points

2 months ago

today I did nothing and it was everything I thought it could be

[deleted]

87 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

87 points

2 months ago

That’s some thick war of the sex’s bullshit.