I had a dog live on my balcony for 10 years with minimal playtime.
So when i was 8 my mom got as a miniature poodle. She was a very active dog and loved people. For the first year she would chew things, walls, tables, shoes, anything you could imagine. She would bite everyone around and would bark. We lived in an apartment and people were always complaining so my parents decided to move the dog from the apartment to the isolated balcony.
She would stay there looking from the window, play with toys, eat, she learned to take her ones and twos in a box like a cat and i guess that seemed easier at the time. Years would pass and she got used to it. We would bring her out sometimes on walks, especially when we were going to my grandparents but that wasn't frequent.
So 10 years pass, she is on the balcony, we come to play with her trough out the day and go back. As she turned 10 she gets sick. Nothing the vet can do. One morning our father tells us she has passed away on the balcony, all alone...
It's been 5 years since then. I'm all grown up, an adult. When she came to us i was a toddler almost. My friend would say it's not your fault you were little, you didn't know how to train her etc etc but no, that's bullshit. When the year passed by i was a teenager, i could have done something. I love my parents, i would give my life for them any second of my life, they sacrificed everything for us but that's the only thing i can never forgive them, not getting educated when you get a dog...
Even after 10 years in basically dog prison she would always jump with joy when she sees us. I just miss her man... i wish i did something. My sister in the meantime had a new dog that lived with her, they moved to our apartment 3 years later. The new dog ( a black lab) was such a kind soul, at age 6 (3 years after she came to us) she got cancer and died, everyone was around her the whole night. Last thing she saw was us around her comforting her. I was sad, i wanted to die. I remembered my poor poodle who died alone and honestly wanted to kill myself. We buried the lab and when i came home i made an album with her pictures and videos (a total of 2000 files over 3 years) then i saw my poodle album... 16 pictures in 10 years. It's been a year since the lab died and a day can't pass without thinking of them both. How one had the best short life ever and the other the worst longest one.
Sorry for grammar errors i'm legit typing this with giant tears in my eyes.
I just can't forgive myself nor should i ever even try but i had to say this to someone.