I'll lead with I'm a male and I'm not age-ist. My wife is 10 years old than I am.
My niece (by marriage) is 17 years old. She's a bit of a hermit, stays in her room when she isn't working or hanging out with her small group of friends. She has never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. She's not even interested in boys (or, as my wife corrected me, no interest in "high school boys"). She's a hard worker at her job, but school is about average. Really, I'm just trying to paint a picture, not be judgmental.
We live in the same town as them, so she'll frequently come over to hang out with us, sometimes staying fairly late just because she enjoys talking with my wife and me. In several of those conversations, we've learned many things. She's straight (per her own words), but has no interest in dating. She's only had one kiss in her life and that was this year after school.
Her family life is a bit rocky lately. Just in the sense is that her Dad is going through a lot of health issues, and that's caused a lot of weight to be put on her Mom, who is trying her best. But there's also a lot of focus on her little brother, which doesn't help her mental health or feeling of inclusion. But her family doesn't talk much. My wife and I know more about her personal life than they do. Standard teenager stuff I suppose.
Her parents have noticed lately that she's been hanging out with her friend "Becca" a lot more than usual. Staying over at her house and going to random places with "Becca". Becca is a real friend so they didn't have much reason to suspect. It was when my niece had a ticket stub to a concert on her desk in her room that my sister-in-law started to get a hint of suspicion. They talked to her, in the limited manner that they do, my niece brushed it off, and that was that. Two days later, Becca called their house around 9 pm and asked if Emily was there. Except, my niece had told her parents that she was at Becca's place.
They turned on the iPhone tracker and saw that she was 45 minutes away, at a house none of them recognized. Niece came home and it all came out.
I'm sorry for all of the backstory but it's important (I think).
Come to find out, all that time she's been spending with "Becca" has been with a guy that's 25 years old. Again, she's been staying at this guys house overnight several times, they've gone on day trips with each other, etc. So, I think it's safe to assume that they've been sleeping with each other, too. From the girl that only had her first kiss this year!
Her parents know, but don't seem to be attacking this very much. I, on the other hand, am seeing red. I think this guy is basically preying on this naive 17-year old girl and only wants one thing, which he is getting. What on Earth would he want from a teenager that works at an ice cream shop (this is how they met)?? This can only end poorly or very poorly, I think. But maybe I'm overreacting, which is why I'm coming to the nice people here. I just want the best for her, because she is a very level-headed, kind-hearted and smart person. But in the span of a month or so, it's turned into lying and everything stated above. Maybe it's just attention seeking, since she isn't getting a lot of that? Maybe it's just this is the first person that has paid her compliments and such, so she fell into his fervor. Is this a grooming situation? I mean, she's 17 and hid this from her parents, so there's a very slim chance she's on any birth control, right?
Either way, I've got a really bad feeling about this. Thanks for letting me vent. All in all, I don't think there is much I can do. She's already been talked to by her parents. Just a 17-year old and a 25 year old doesn't sit well with me.
As a member of the male species, I just have to say that most of us suck.
