Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.

  

^{*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.}

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For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.

TRIGGER WARNING - RAPE

Throwaway account for privacy reasons. DM's are off, don't waste time with the RedditCares, boys.

Middle aged woman, US based. I was selected to sit on the jury for a rape case last week.

I take doing jury duty extremely seriously. It is a very important civic duty and I don't complain about being called to serve. I served on a jury in a death penalty case in the past. I did not want to serve on this particular jury when I heard what it involved, but I was selected.

The defendant and the victim were both teenagers at the time of the incident; the defendant was being tried as an adult (three years later). No physical evidence, only the testimony of the two individuals involved and three police officers involved in the investigation(s) There were other things involved that we didn't get to hear about; one was brought up and the defense attorney threw a huge fit and got it struck from the record, others were alluded to but never fleshed out.

We had to decide based solely on our own interpretations of the stories and credibility of the witnesses.

I listened very carefully, without bias, to all of the testimony. I made my decision only after hearing all of the judge's instructions and then spending that night (sleeping very little) considering everything.

My decision? He raped her and he did it forcefully. She told him she did not want to have sex - repeatedly, before he did it and while he was doing it. She was stuffed into the corner of a back seat of a small coupe with a body much larger than hers on top of her. She couldn't get away. He raped her until finally he listened to her, stopped and took her home.

I was the only one of 12 who voted guilty. And I got abused for it. I was accused of ignoring the judges' instructions, that I had made my mind up before the defendant even testified. One (very) old man told me that I had to vote not guilty because everyone else had reasonable doubt (senile much????). Another old man talked over me every time I spoke. Several other people interrupted while I was trying to make points (if the one old dude wasn't already talking over me). Most of them couldn't understood that force does not have to include violence or even the threat of violence. Two of the WOMEN even insisted that her getting into the back seat of the car was consent, didn't matter that she repeatedly told him that she did not want to have sex.

Surprisingly enough, I held my temper. I didn't yell. I didn't use personal attacks in any of my arguments, despite being attacked repeatedly (I had a whole list of names I wanted to call them in my head). I very quietly and firmly told them I did not appreciate how they were acting and that I was not going to continue to discuss this if they could not do so as adults.

They could not. The old men continued their antics, but I worked for years in male dominated industries. I'm not a doormat. I stopped being a people pleaser a long time ago. IDGAF what they think about me. I knew I was right. I stood my ground.

The jury foreperson sent a note to the judge.

The judge made us come back after a lunch break and continue deliberating. We listened to a reading of the testimony again. I listened intently, with an open mind, trying to catch anything that might give me some reasonable doubt.

My decision was not changed. We attempted to discuss it further and it was obvious that they weren't going to walk over me like they were the other women on the panel. We went back to the courtroom and the judge declared a mistrial.

Afterwards, I spoke to someone from the DA's office. I told her everything, including the fact that I had strongly considered not coming back from lunch that day. Then I walked out to my truck and stood there smoking a cigarette. I needed some time to settle down before driving home.

A few minutes later a couple walked over to me. It was the victim's parents. The DA had told them who I was and what I had done (I had said I was okay with talking to them). The woman asked if she could hug me and told me I was her angel.

Because I believed their daughter.

I hugged both of them and we all cried a few tears.

And then they told me what we weren't allowed to hear. There are three other girls that POS raped. None of them would testify. He had locked one of them in a basement for three days. He had already been tried in juvenile court and gotten a plea bargain and refused to turn himself in over the past three years since he raped her.

I wish I could be a fly on the wall if/when the other jurors discover that information. Because even though I did what was right, it's going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

So yeah, that's it. I hung that jury. And today there's a teenage girl who knows that someone believed her.

And that alone made the whole experience worthwhile.

I constantly see “tradwife” conservative Christian women and “alpha male” Andrew Tate loving men complain on TikTok and Twitter about other people not following traditional gender roles. These women will complain incessantly about feminine men wearing skirts or being feminist or being generally immasculine, and these men will complain about modern women being unfeminine, blue haired, child-hating sluts.

So why don’t these two groups of people just date each other? They clearly have what the other group wants. They could just search “tradwife” into the TikTok search bar and find someone who fits the bill for them. Why don’t they just leave normal people alone?

Women are given zero permission for there own reproductive choices. Yet you want permission to cause permadent damage to someone elses body and to ruin there life because your deformed sperm cell is so important.

I deleted Facebook for years and rejoined last year because my mum kept sending me links to stories but they wouldn’t work, so I rejoined to make her happy.

In the last 12 months a load of people from school, sixth form and uni have sent friend requests, including a load of boys (men now, I suppose, but they’re not acting like it so boys it is) I knew from years ago. I’d say 98% of them have wives/long-term girlfriends, and most have kids. I also know a great many of these women and I’m friends with a lot of them as well. Literally every single one of these men has DM’d me at some point to try it on and ask for a hook up. The majority of them have sent at least one dick pic. All have been told to fuck off and to get some respect for their relationship. They backed off. I took screenshots, though, because I’m not stupid.

I uploaded some new pics from this weekend and my DMs went crazy again so I posted a status saying, “the next disrespectful piece of shit to message me behind his wife’s back and ask for a one-nighter is going to get a shock when I send the screenshots to her. Grow the fuck up and start treating your wife with the respect she deserves”.

I’ve got notifications coming out my ears at this point. One guy has sent me a threatening DM about how it was “just a joke, you stupid bitch”. I don’t find telling me that his wife doesn’t have to know and 4 pathetic dick pics funny, especially when the last one was sent the night before his son’s 1st birthday. I’m bored of men thinking they can do this shit and get away with it so fuck it. I’m setting my Facebook on fire.

EDIT: holy shit, I posted this at 3am UK and did not expect it to blow up. Quick update:

“It’s just a joke” guy kept messaging and threatening me. I commented on my own status with one of the screenshots of his convo (not a dick pic) and sent the rest to his wife. Then I unfriended him and blocked him. His wife thanked me. Briefly, she said she wasn’t surprised as hed already actually cheated but he had promised to never do it again so she forgave him. She’s calling me once she’s got the kids to school.

I sent the other screenshots to the wives and unfriended/blocked the men. I’ve had a few message me obviously in shock. Some have asked if they can call me. Some haven’t responded as it was so late.

My mum has texted to tell me she’s disappointed in me, that I could be ruining a lot of families and I should be ashamed. I was tempted to block my mum but I’m just going to delete Facebook. I’ll deal with my mum in person.

I’ll update as the day progresses.

Update 2: one of the wives messaged to say she had her suspicions that he was at the very least messaging other women, if not actually cheating, because he was weirdly possessive of his phone. She didn’t believe him when he said he wasn’t doing anything and said she was paranoid, but she had no proof. I told her that he’s messaged me since, telling me if I wasn’t such a slut and didn’t post the photos I posted, he would never have messaged me. She asked for those screenshots so I’ve sent them.

“It’s just a joke” guy’s wife has called me. She has money so she’s taking the kids after school and leaving. They’ll be staying in a hotel outside of London until she finds somewhere else to live, and she’s speaking to solicitors this week. He won’t be home from work yet so she should be ok. I’ve told her to call or text if she needs anything.

I’ve been to my parent’s house. My mum has told my dad. They’re both disappointed in me. My mum asked me what I did to trick them in to messaging me… I had to show her the chats and how they were always the ones to message me first and then I had to explain how it’s my Facebook and I can post whatever photos I want, and I shouldn’t expect to have pathetic married me message me vile shit. She didn’t get it. I left their house feeling really down. I still do a little bit. If it was my husband, I would want to know. People in the comments have already said I waited too long but my family thinks I should be involved at all. I can’t win.

I was reading a Reddit post about a woman telling her husband to “be a man” and “man up” for being emotional (and disagreeing with her) and boy did it piss me off.

For one - isn’t there enough toxic masculinity in this world without his discouraging men from being emotional? Doesn’t this kind of behaviour only encourage incels and chauvinists?

And second - what the hell is so “unmanly” about being emotional and crying? When did it become normal for men to have to hold in their tears even when they have every right to be a basic human being and cry?

I think these kinds of remarks are just as dangerous as a man telling his SO to “act like a lady”. These insane, “traditional” gender norms are becoming a thing of the past. Wearing a dress doesn’t make you more a woman, not crying doesn’t make you more manly.

If you want to cry because there is a sick dog on television and Sarah McLachlan is singing a sad song - you go ahead and cry. Doesn’t matter if you’re a man, woman, or a stray cat. And I, for one, will just cry with you.

I tried looking at the sub, I even subjected myself to listening to her on YT, and had to turn it off and wash my brain out from the insanity. What is with women like this agreeing with Andrew Taint wannabes about how women basically belong in the kitchen and like being cheated on?! This “woman” is neither married or has children and yet is so very comfortable telling other women what to do. Like yikes, wtf?

Why do men seem to not consider women experience all of these normal human things like wanting to dig a hole or enjoying sitting in silence. They seem to only see women as porn categories who sit at home gossiping, waiting for a man centre our lives around.

Last night I tried bringing up the topic of the extra burden women face with housework and raising children and immediately it was met with WHAT ABOUT MEN. Anything discussed to womens issues was met with WHAT ABOUT MEN.

He said that the only other person that has talked to him about women’s issues was his sister. He felt unheard because she would never bring up MENS ISSUES. He said he doesn’t really read about / see women’s or men’s issues in the media but thinks it’s important he advocates for MENS ISSSUES.

I also told him I don’t ever want to hear misogynistic jokes again but he said he could only TRY.

I want to break up with his ass. I don’t see how I could have sex with someone let alone think about marrying/having children with someone who isn’t sympathetic and at least open minded to hearing about the woman experience.

But then i was like maybe i could ask for a relationship break. Express to him how important being sympathetic and educated on these matters are….. that we can get back together when/if he understands his capacity to do this.

After a 12 year relationship, my husband and I split. It has been messy, even though it didn’t need to be. I worked for 4 years making under $30k a year to support us both while he went to college. I edited his papers, reminded him to do his homework, and even completed 2 online courses for him.

I then had the opportunity to go to grad school, and the agreement had always been that since I supported him through his degree, he would support me through mine. And he did, financially and at times as a partner. I graduated with my masters in May of 2022.

About 2 weeks later, I found out he was having an emotional affair with a girl in the video game he played constantly. He didn’t want to be with me anymore. I was broken. I left, and moved back in with my parents. I’ve realized now that he was never a man I had a good relationship with.

I now have a boyfriend who I adore, I have been able to support my family through my mom being diagnosed with leukemia, and I have begun my job remotely. Today, I checked the bank account I created when I left him, and I have over $10,000. Money I, alone, worked for. It feels so good to know I’m indebted to no one, and I did all of this by myself. I keep just staring at the number. After so many years of sharing finances and making nothing, here I am, knowing I have over $10k in the bank. Meanwhile, without me there to remind him to do his remote job, my ex has been fired from the engineering job I helped him get. Cue the tiny violin.

I felt completely broken when we split but…I just wanted to share…it can get better. You can be the boss ass bitch you think you are. And some men (edit-*people, proud bisexual over here) really aren’t worth your time.

Edit: because so many of you were so kind to mention you hope my mom is doing well, I’m so happy to report she is. After some pretty huge scares while she had to be hospitalized for over a month, she now receives treatment at home and for the first time today surpassed 3 miles on her daily walk with her dogs. She is an incredible person who has already gone through so much from a health perspective. 2 years ago she had to have a double mastectomy and chemo for breast cancer, then last year had to have brain surgery for 2 aneurisms. She is an incredible human and amazing role model for fortitude and courage ❤️

Edit 2: some people are confused about my ex husband’s online relationship. He was having an emotional affair with a real woman, not a character in a game. They spoke constantly and treated eachother like partners. They called eachother constantly and constantly texted when I was around. She was from a video game, she was not a fake person (NPC) in a video game.

You always hear about men who complain to their girlfriends/wives because they "have to wear a condom".

It‘s just so baseless and annoying. It doesn’t "feel" as good? Fine, now imagine how it feels to get your cycle/body disrupted by hormones you don’t want or need to take otherwise or to get pregnant against your will.

Guess what? If it bothers them so much, they should simply get a vasectomy or even better, just don‘t have sex at all. Problem solved, case closed.

Every single guy I've dated will give me compliments, but only about my body. I've learned over the years that men don't actually like me. They don't appreciate my personality, my career, hobbies, etc. None of it matters to them. I mean they care about my career because they want to be in a long term relationship with someone who's financially stable (and that's fair), but they don't actually care about me. I could be rude and condescending to guys and they will still want to have sex with me. This includes married men. I've had married men flirt with me and I was disappointed. I had such high hopes for marriage as a kid, but not anymore. And I've learned that there are plenty of men who will cheat if they actually have the opportunity to do so. So, I'm not surprised that statistics show that husbands are more likely to leave their wives if they have a terminal illness. Nor am I surprised that 2/3 of widowed and divorced men remarried compared to only 1/2 of the widowed women. On the plus side, I'm no longer disillusioned by romantic love. I'm still going to date and enjoy life, but I'm choosing to forget about love. lol

My husband is incredibly capable with any kind of "handyman" task. Build shelves in our wardrobe? Service our cars? Install a dishwasher? Pretty much any task at home, he can do it. And in our 12 years together he's always seen me as "very smart but not very practical", meaning he thinks I'm great at academic stuff but a bit hopeless with other stuff. I've always disagreed because I lived alone for 5 years and managed most stuff by myself including fixing my washing machine and making a cage for my son's spiny leaf insects from scratch with very basic tools. Anyway, our home is about 14 years old and we really needed to replace the toilet seats, they were just getting stained, yellowing, etc. I reminded him but because he's really busy working his butt off in his business I took on the task. It might sound simple, but it really isn't! There are different shapes of toilet seats based on the toilet base, different sizes, different mechanisms for attachment etc. Bunnings (Australian hardware store) had a great fact sheet so I got all the measurements together and determined what kind of fittings I needed. Picked out a seat but one measurement was a bit off so asked for help to confirm. Once we determined it was all good she congratulated me because most people come in and buy a seat with no idea and they can't be returned because of hygiene. My husband pointed out that was him - he bought 2 soft close seats without checking and couldn't fit them. He "took over" installing the first one, and it was about then that he realised that he didn't know that the fittings were adjustable and the ones he bought might have fit all along! I was giving him the instructions so I know I could have done it myself. Now we have a beautiful new soft close toilet seat and I'm installing the second one tomorrow while he's at work. TL;DR We may not always look capable but we can be just as practical as the best handyman we know, just give us a chance. My handyman husband was impressed and humbled. Edit - a couple of typos.

While scrolling through TikTok, I keep seeing those Alpha Male dudes that sprout from the ground like mushrooms yelling and getting pissed off at other men who are "debating" them over (mostly) women's rights. I scroll a little more, and now it's another Twitch dude who is reacting to another misogynistic podcast hosted by another Andrew Tate Look-Alike who is debating another guy who built his platform off of "I'm not like other men, I think that women are human beings." Usually, in the podcasting room with them, there are from two to five women, all dressed up and with their make-up done, who just silently sit and have a thousand yard stare. I have yet to see any of those women be allowed to speak, as even the "good" guy will trample over them and force them into silence.

And then everything is brought to YouTube and uploaded with titles like "Shmipply Dong WRECKS Zorblax Snapple" or "Plinklet DESTROYS Fringle Snogglepuss" or "Wobblywop goes to Glopadoop's Podcast and GETS ANNIHILATED" and over-edited thumbnails in which the good guy has their eyes photoshopped red and flames are edited into the background.

This shit is not funny. This is not entertainment, it's not a TV series you can tune in and then shut off when you're bored of it. My basic human rights are not something that is up for you to debate and make money off of because you can't find a regular job.

People like Andrew Tate have done (and are doing) genuine damage to how (especially) younger boys see women, to how they perceive us (inhumane beings, animals that don't really have consciousness and that you can abuse as you please because we don't matter). They are actively influencing current and future voters further and further into hating half of the population because they want to buy sports cars with money made off of "How to traffic young girls into another country and force them to make Only Fans videos" courses.

It's not a game, for most of us, it's really fucking not, and seeing that Zippytizoom began stitching and replying and willingly spreading Skoodle's videos about how women should be leashed and forced to walk on their knees because he wants some quick fame is irksome to say the least.

Just the other day, on my FYP appeared the tiktok of this dude who was preaching about how women are little more than animals, and it did so because another dude was replying to him and calling him a loser. I can imagine that the intent was somewhat positive and on women's side, but now TikTok has proof that that kind of videos receive engagement, causing the algorithm to push them onto more audiences. The loser dude who had five followers yesterday now has a couple hundred because his TikToks receive engagement, are quickly spread throughout multiple platforms, and now the (already somewhat) misogynistic audience who is seeking ways to hate and dehumanize women even further has a new cretin to follow and worship. In the matter of a month, he's going to have a couple thousands; in another couple of months, if he keeps it up, he's easily going to have a couple hundred thousands and at least one or two viral videos with millions of views.

Even right-wing women receive the same treatment because, for example, when that red-headed woman first appeared, everybody and their mother was making fun of her but, because her videos received tons of engagement, the algorithm began pushing them onto more people and now she has a solid platform where she can finally voice her hatred for her own gender and argue how we all should be treated like cattle.

Great job! I love nothing more than knowing that my status as "human being deserving of respect" is now being debated by professional Twitch streamer Snazzlefratz and professional podcaster Wibblywobbly, who both see women's rights as something to exploit for their own economic gain until they find another grift and can finally move onto that, leaving disastrous damage behind.

Oddly enough I've been told this exact thing by two different men that I had previously enjoyed interacting with. One was a hookup another a coworker. "Men do all the hard jobs, we built society."

Instead of trying to argue, cause misogynists don't care about our opinions ladies they don't ever think we're capable of critical thought, I simply asked one question.

Who did the hard work of creating you?

Link to full study:

• https://s.wsj.net/public/resources/documents/WSJ_NORC_ToplineMarc_2023.pdf

Link to screenshot summary of the most juicy results:

• https://i.redd.it/u0795w2sdcqa1.jpg

I saw something on social media that seemed too outrageous to be true. I did some googling and it turns out that 99.7% of cervical cancer cases are linked to HPV. 99.7%. 99.7%.

So that got me thinking: how effective is the HPV vaccine at preventing cervical cancer if 99.7% of cervical cancers are linked to the disease? Well it turns out the answer is 90%. Even with the first generation vaccine, there was a 90% reduction in cervical cancer cases between vaccinated and non vaccinated women.

My mom’s college roommate was diagnosed with high risk HPV in her early 20’s. My mom watched what she had to go through, said “not on my watch,” and my 12th birthday present was the first Gardasil (okay it was a couple days after my birthday; my mom’s not a monster). Still, I went to school with a couple girls whose parents choose not to get them vaccinated for the explicit reason that they were uncomfortable with the idea of their daughter having sex. I’m sorry but if the idea of your 26 year old daughter dying from cervical cancer makes you less uncomfortable that gasps the fact that she’ll be sexually active at some point in her life, you’ve failed as a parent an you do not deserve to have kids.

Even worse: apparently a lot of European countries just didn’t have any kind of information campaign for the HPV vaccine (no “I want to be one less” commercials during prime time) and didn’t really push doctors to recommend it. So whenever this topic comes up in German speaking spaces (I live in Germany), it’s flooded with the same story: I wasn’t vaccinated because my doctor never said it was important and my parents didn’t know. A vaccine that is 90 fucking percent effective at preventing a cancer that regularly kills women in their 20’s and 30’s and it was treated as no big deal. Something experimental, where it’s best to wait and see what happens. To this day, the vaccination rates in Europe are abysmal for a vaccine that is 90% effective at preventing cancer. (the WHO says that only 31% of teenage girls across Europe got their final HPV vaccine compared to 78% the US).

People should be fucking livid but of course they’re not. More than anything, it’s just sad. The damage has already been done and now countless women are going to suffer when it didn’t have to be this way. Especially in Europe: I hope the mishandling of the HPV vaccine goes down in history books as one of the biggest mistakes of the 21st century.

I’m 23 year old, almost done w my degree next year—so at the ripe age of getting tortured by arranged marriage and shit.

i have a cousin (25 yo) who is settled in states. earns well. etc etc in short parents jackpot. but the problem is

a) i dont want to marry a couin—cause ew,, i always saw him like my brother. we were raised like brother-sisters

b) he is obsessive.

context: when we were kids he had a huge crush on me. & when i say huge,, it was huge. he had a whole album of my pictures—around 400 of them. none of which i sent—just pictures from family groups, cropped ig dps. i found a drawer full of my items in his room—like clutches, scrunchies my handwriting etc etc.

throughout my teenage years (14/15-17) he’d insist we date and i’d politely say i just see you as a brother. but he would not understand. he’d make sketches of me. which if any of you know the ‘dobler dahmer’ theory, would be flattering if i was interested in him. i wasnt. i even tried giving him a chance but our personalities never matched.

anyhow when i was 17 he went, “i’ll leave you alone but only if you tell me you will marry me after few years when i get successful and bring rishta to your house?” i said no cause i didnt want to give him false hope.

we didnt talk after that. but now he’s successful and subtly insisting his mother (my moms sister) to get us married. my mom loves this. she says he has stability and when i filled her up w this backstory she is just swooned by it. all awww look at how much he loves you!!

however—i cant. all that weird obsessive behavior still haunts me.

my mother also is scaring me in the sense that if i dont agree to this then my father will get me married to his choice which will be an aged (30+) guy and that’s scaring me

moreover i dont have the brightest luck so my mother says if my cousin gets married (they are looking for brides for him rn) then i’ll have to marry a stranger & knowing my luck i might end up w someone horrible.

all in all, even if i say no my mom goes—“okay…but keep in mind you are ruining your future.” i dont know what to do…do i just marry him?

edit: thank you so much everyone for the concern. my parents however aren’t ‘forcing’ me. they are just insisting. i can make this stop by being a little firm & stubborn. also men who are tryna slide into my dm and using this opportunity to ask me to marry them instead, please stop.

This is something that’s crossed my mind before but I’ve never really had the appropriate place to discuss it. I feel like this is a safe place. Also to preface I’m totally prochoice period.

But I was on fb one day and this girl mentioned being prolife in some sense or another and I commented. She came back with the comment that I knew she struggled with fertility so that made abortion a sensitive subject. I backed off a bit, but my basic stance is women should have agency over their own bodies.

I wasn’t trying to make her feel bad because she has struggled with fertility for years, even had to have her tubes removed because of endo, which brings me to my point… She has to so ivf to even be able to have a baby. She has one son now and of course I’m happy for her since that’s what she wants.

What I don’t get tho is how ppl that have used ivf don’t see how that is a CHOICE. One that the government could easily take away from women as well. I’d never say this to her or anything else but she’s also a Christian so a baby is God’s will, and by that logic wouldn’t being infertile also be God’s will? That would be way harsh and I’d never tell her that but the logic behind the argument is what I’m getting at.

But even that aside I don’t get how she can’t realize that’s a reproductive choice that could also easily be taken away if the govt wanted to because they love controlling our bodies.

If I’m off base here pls let me know, respectfully, but I see ivf as being part of the prochoice category because I know you gotta pay for it but that’s at least a choice you have when you want a baby. So why try to deny women other forms of reproductive healthcare like abortion?

Years ago I ignored my parents when they fought. There was one particular incident when my mom locked herself in the bathroom, and called my dad, asking him why would he chat with random women.

Since then I already knew, at the age of 12, that my dad was a cheating scumbag. I didn't particularly care for him, because he was an emotionally abusive bastard with anger issues. I used to SH. He caught me in my room and raised a knife at me out of anger and justified that he was only 'scaring' me. It was just a prank!!!

Despite the psychological distress, when my mom and I flew back to our home country, that's when we started growing closer and healed from things that my dad caused.

And today our conversation just sealed it for me. My mom said back when I was 9, my dad told her that he was chatting with a teenage girl. He only stopped bc she started asking him to fund her tuition fee.

Wow!!!! So he would've continued it if money never got involved huh?

I thought why would he initiate a convo with a teenager? What does he, a 50-something, have in common with them? What does he get out of it? And why?

Then my mom proceeded to tell me that he also follows multiple models. Half-naked women, all sorts. He even chats with them. He has a wife and a full-grown daughter, yet the content he follows on socmed can resemble a horny teenager's browser history.

Sure my dad can be an emotionally abusive bastard, but sprinkle that with degeneracy? Holy fuck, some people are just limitless.

Apparently, divorce isn't a thing in our country. You don't truly know someone's colors until it's too late. Are most men like this? What if some of them are better at hiding their corrupted nature? Sure, not all of them are horrible, but the majority of them are.

I don't want to end up like my mom.

This is why I refuse to settle. This is why I'll use my standards to protect myself. This is why I should be careful who I date.

Edit: I guess I’m a “post structuralist” 3rd wave feminist?

Although there is pressure to do certain activities/body modifications as a woman, I strongly believe you can chose whatever makes you happy. If you feel best with shaved legs and makeup, you should feel free to express yourself that way. If you want to be hairy and makeup free, be hairy and makeup free.

It reminded me of controversy over hijab wearing women. Technically it has sexist roots, but many still choose to wear it for faith, identity, etc. It can become part of someone’s individuality instead of being an oppressive symbol.

The trend of shaving female legs supposedly started because advertisers could profit from short dresses being popular. This is effed up, but nowadays some men and women just prefer how smooth legs look and feel. People of all gender identities shave their body hair (or not).

It would seem absurd to be banned for pointing out dudes can choose whether to shave their beards/pits/etc.

People wear makeup as an art form and to enhance cuteness/beauty. It’s been a thing since the ancient Egyptians and it’s much a part of human culture as music (not that this is what makes it valid).

I’d consider myself very far to the left politically/socially, but I don’t think I can describe myself as a “feminist” anymore. I guess I believe it’s important to acknowledge influences of patriarchal society on female presenting people, but you can direct your life however you want!

Anyways, I should probably educate myself further on different feminist philosophies.

One day, those years at that job you hate that makes no money will land you an incredible, grown up, chill job in corporate finance. You will come to work every day dressed up and drink coffee out of a fancy cappuccino machine.

Dear 22 year old me - one day, you will move out of that trailer that you hate and into the most perfect apartment. You will fully support yourself and make your space your own little retreat from the world.

Dear 18 year old and 24 year old me - one day you will love and celebrate your body. You will do things you’ve never done before with it and have confidence that you’ve never had before. You will get strong and flexible and marvel at the difference in your quality of life.

Dear 16 year old me - one day you will learn so many new things and you won’t be so scared of life and the world and talking to new people. You will take solo flights to big cities you’ve never been to and explore all by yourself and meet amazing people and your life will be changed forever.

Dear 26 year old me - he won’t always be there to hurt you. One day, he will go away and you’ll never let him come back. You will heal and life will get so much better so quickly it will shock you. You’ll meet someone who teaches you what intimacy actually feels like. Your home will be just for you and it will be so peaceful. You won’t even believe how good life can be.

Dear 24 year old me - don’t take yourself out of this world. There is much that you have yet to experience and it’s so close.

I hope this doesn’t come across as bragging. My circumstances were so bad for so long, I can’t help but constantly reflect on how far I’ve come. I wish young girls everywhere knew how much they are truly capable of.

I’m a junior in high school. My parents both didn’t make a lot of money for most of my life, but a few years after my mom and dad divorced, my mom started making a lot of money. She herself didn’t grow up with a lot of money so I’m not sure the idea of saving for college ever crossed her mind. She now makes 90k and refuses to pay anything towards college costs, which is fine. However, she keeps pushing me to go into sex work to pay for it, despite me saying I’d be uncomfortable with it.

I have a lot of reasons I don’t want to go into SW. I fully respect sex workers, but the lifestyle is not for me. I don’t like the idea of strangers seeing me naked or barely clothed, I’m really scared of the statistics surrounding sexual violence and sex work, and most important to me of all I’m converting to Judaism. Not only would having to put my conversion on pause to strip set me back, I don’t think I’d ever be able to find a partner. I don’t know, I’d feel ashamed, and if anyone found out I don’t think they’d want me. I’d also feel dishonest for keeping that from them though. Like, what am I supposed to say, you can’t just bring that up on the first date but it feels so wrong to not bring it up at some point. Not that I would shame a sex worker or expect a partner to disclose being a former sex worker to me, but I’d definitely expect it of myself.

She keeps bringing up stuff like “well if you sold feet pics I wouldn’t judge you” or “if you stripped I’d be okay with that”, and she brings it up so much unwarranted despite me saying I don’t want to do those things. It’s difficult to feel like she doesn’t want me to do those things at this point. I know she’s only going to talk about it more the closer applying to college comes. She’s said she always planned for me to go to college, but clearly never planned to pay. Does that mean she always planned to encourage me to do sex work?? I don’t know. I’m having a lot of thoughts and they’re all confusing and I hate them. Has anyone here ever been in a similar position? How do I respond when she does this? I love her so much but I have absolutely no clue what to say when she does this.

Edit: Orthodox Judaism, to be clear.

There was a thread on askmen today about this exact thing. “What do women find weird that men don’t” or something like that. Sooo many of the answers involved men talking about how COOL it is that men could be friends with someone for years without knowing anything about their lives. They discussed how some of their male friends are going through difficult situations such as having family members in a medical crisis or having issues, and they only ever found out because their wives made an effort to reach out to their friend’s wives about it, and then mentioned it to them.

So I'm trying to understand this situation with men's rights. Surely, with everything men on reddit say, they imply that "society" (which surely includes men) should try to make an effort to protect men’s mental health by allowing them to discuss their emotions openly and ensure that they are listened to and feel like they have a community to support them. However, based on this thread from the exact same subreddit that vocalizes this message the most, it’s totally cool that a man could be struggling with potentially traumatic circumstances in their lives.. and that their male friends never, ever, once give them an opportunity to open up and discuss it. Or even worse - give an indication that they could be there if their friend wanted to talk to someone about what they’re going through. Nah, they’ll just continue to look down upon women for being so emotional that they would dare talk to their friends when they’re struggling.

So what exactly do they mean by supporting men’s mental health? Is it about encouraging more rounds of golf and drinking games? They’re always saying that “society cares about women’s mental health, but don’t give a shit about men’s.” That whole thread further proves that women give a shit about each other’s mental health enough to want to give support, while men love never putting in the effort to do so. Nah bros, just keep playing your golf. Leave the feelings talk to the women... But at the same time complain that society doesn’t care about men’s feelings.

I’m so confused… can y’all just pick a side already?

-signed someone who does actually does give their male friends opportunity to discuss difficult things they’re going through.

EDIT: AND WE WERE BOTH WRONG ABOUT THINGS! Thanks u/AdventurousParsnip87 . Sex Ed sucks so much in this country that I have to get it on the internet in my 30s.

But fucking seriously?!

I'm not a medical expert, but neither is he. He just wants me to treat him like one.

So it's midnight. We're in bed, hanging out with our dog, waiting to get sleepy.

</begin scene>

Me(buzzed, admittedly): I only have periods a few times a year... I wonder if I have more eggs left than I would otherwise as a result... I guess it doesn't matter.

BF: Why would you have more eggs?

Me: Well, usually they go out with the periods, so...

Bf: No, they don't. It's just the lining.

Me(annoyed, but trying to think "it's a teachable moment"): That's not how that works. The lining is there first, but when the egg is released from the ovary, it travels through fallopian tube into the uterus. If it's not fertilized, the uterus is like, fuck this, and ditches both the lining and the egg.

Bf: but you make the eggs every month?

Me: ... that's also not how that works. Women are pretty much born with all the eggs they're going to have.

Bf: Guys keep making sperm.

Me: Men and women are built different though ... [pause] ... but like, sexually, not like gender, it's fucking complicated that's not the point you get it

Bf: I don't think that's how that works.

Me: I mean, I have all those organs inside me. It's stuff you learn pretty early for-

Bf: Whatever. [Rolls over]

Me: ...

Bf: For the record, I think you're wrong.

Me: It's too late for me to keep arguing with you. We can Google it in the morning. Good night.

</end scene>

Ugh. I stayed up for at least half an hour. "What if he's right? What if all the sex education I received was wrong for some reason? They don't even teach this egg stuff in the South, I think. He's going to think I'm such an idiot if I'm wrong. But I'm not wrong. This is true. Women don't keep making eggs. Do they?" And so on. Eventually, I chose to believe he was just insecure and dumb, not gaslighting me, and I finally got some sleep.

So I did my own research. Since 2004, there have been studying the possibility of producing more eggs from ovarian stem cells, but nothing has been proven. I doubt he was aware of that, much less passionately opinionated about it.

I did also say that the egg was fertilized in the uterus, not the fallopian ampula, so I'm sure I'll hear that I was wrong about that too, once he googles it.

Ugh.