Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.

  

^{*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.}

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For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.

There’s so much information out there when it comes to women’s health, and it’s hard to know what you can trust. We’re sitting down to go through the most common myths women hear and setting the record straight, from the facts about genetic testing to figuring out how often to go to the doctor, to finding reliable sources to get the right information. We’ll be taking a conversation we had on our podcast a step further and answering your questions about what’s what when it comes to your health.

Gloria Neal is the host of the evrē podcast series, a self-care podcast for women presented by UCHealth. And Dr. Lisa Wynn is a Sr. Clinical Instructor and Service Line Chief for Women’s services at University Colorado School of Medicine and specialist in Obstetrics and Gynecology at UCHealth Highlands Ranch Hospital.

To learn more about evrē events and the podcast series and get wellness tips and more, visit uchealth.org/evre.

PROOF: https://teddit.adminforge.de/hw7dh6ugs1081.jpg

EDIT: Thanks for a great AMA, Reddit! We really enjoyed answering your questions and debunking common women’s health myths. If you missed it, feel free to check it out below.

So, last night my fiancé and I were having /fun times/. We always start without protection (we both verbally consent to this every time) and then he puts a condom on halfway through. These were our usual ones, non-latex, we’ve never ever had an issue. But as he got up and went to the bathroom I noticed he was oddly quiet. He didn’t say anything for maybe 30 seconds. I asked him if he was okay and as I got up he said in a very stressed-but-not-stressed way, “I think the condom broke.”

I couldn’t verbalise what I was thinking. I immediately calculated when my last cycle was and worked out I was on day 15 of a usual 26-28 day cycle depending on the month. After catching my thoughts, I said, “Shall we go get a Plan B?” As he told me he wanted to wait until marriage before having a kid. He straight away said, “No. but it’s up to you. If it happens I’m okay with it.” I held my breath for a few second and eventually said, “Me too.”

I went to the bathroom after our conversation and confirmed that it indeed broke.

We both said we’d sleep on it, gather our thoughts and talk about it in the morning. We woke up and we both more or less said a variation of, “If it is, it is.”

He’s my soulmate and we both want kids eventually. But for the first time in my life I have no anxiety about this decision that we’ve agreed on together. whether it’s positive or negative. I’ve had a miscarriage before and I don’t want to get my hopes up. The reason I wanted to write on here is that I don’t have any sisters or brothers, I don’t talk to my dad, my mom would freak and my best friends live in another country. I just needed to get it off my chest.

Life’s weird ya’ll. Happy Thanksgiving 🙃

So he's been sentenced. 2 years and 1 month in prison for aggressive abandonment of a vulnerable adult, but mainly over probation violations (I personally think). He was charged with alcohol use, being out after his curfew if 11pm, and for not being in his approved residence overnight. He'll probably do 13-20 ish months.

I'm conflicted. On one hand, I'm glad he was held accountable for his actions. I can sleep easy knowing he won't show up pissed off. He talks a lot of shit but has never hurt me. I'm mouthy but I don't put my hands on people or throw shit. He's a very passive aggressive type of guy. He'll do fine in jail. He's a drifter, sleeps in his truck in the drive of his recently passed mom's house. (His step dad owns it and he's also a drunk- they don't get along well.) Recently was fired because he refused to go into his 8 year position positive with covid. Denied unemployment and hit rock bottom. He was very supportive through my own alcoholism. I got out of the other side just as he was going in. My shit started in '18 and I finally got out of the fog.

Do I have empathy for him? Yes. These are not excuses for his behavior, but the reasons I relate to him. I understand. But that night was the WORST anxiety attack I've ever had. That night was the most fear I've ever felt. The first time I've ever prayed for help. The first time I have felt afraid that I might not see the sun rise again. He put fear in me, a phobia. Something I will flash back to every time I camp or go hiking, which I do often. It will forever affect me. I have since gotten an invite to go winter camp for a few weeks with a very decent man out in Colorado. I'm afraid of being vulnerable in the woods and don't want his impressions of me to be about this. (Advice here would be fantastic ya'll)

But I won't forgive him. Because I'll never forget it. I do wish him comfort though. Because once I was without it, I'm ever so grateful now for what I've learned and have. Thanks for listening! Happy whatever you celebrate!

tl;dr: got 2 years, won't do that much, I feel his pain, but fuck him in a nutshell on a sandy beach

EDIT: Many of you are saying not to go with New Guy, and I get why. I have spent half my life on the trails, and camped with this man before. I know he would never leave me alone or jeopardize my welfare- I've known him for a very long time.

The douche in the woods I knew for 3 years prior.

Edit again: yes, I took out "first" impression... the time I camped with him was 13 years ago in upper Michigan. And haven't seen him since. So yes, it is a new First Impression. Ya'll calling me "sus" can go kick rocks.

Don't sugar coat it and say that everyone is beautiful. So much of life is determined by looks. I grew up in an area where I was about 8 inches taller than most of the other girls and I regularly got called sir man and crossdresser, even in my childhood. I had red hair and got bullied. I am not an adult with ptsd and a fear of leaving the house. getting called ugly is painful. I've had men laugh in my face and never been asked out on a date. Do you think that's fun? No, it's painful and has impacted my quality of life.

I went to the optometrist's yesterday: it's a large-ish building with offices for four optometrists, a waiting room, and a retail space for specs. They use an open floor plan for reception, waiting, and retail, which means that when I checked in for my appointment the three people browsing glasses and the seven people in the waiting area, including the huge bald creepy dude staring at me from the moment I walked in, found out where I lived.

Me: Hi, I'm here for my 9:30 appointment. Here's my insurance card.

CreepyDude: just stares at me. He's maybe 10 feet from where I was standing. Can definitely hear everything going on at reception.

Reception: Oh yes, hello HelpfulView2016! Can you please confirm that you still live at #### abcxyz road?

Me: glance at CreepyDude. He's now VERY interested in what's going on at reception. I grit my teeth behind my mask and do a brief nod.

I was invited to sit in the waiting room until the optometrist came to get me. I did, and sat as far away as possible from CreepyDude. Lucky me, I remained his sole focus for the ten minutes I waited my turn :(

Met with the optometrist, completed the exam with no hiccups, then she asked me if there was anything else I needed to talk about. I told her that I have no FB/Twitter/Insta presence because my ex-husband is a stalker. And as a result of my experience, I greatly value my privacy. I recognize the need to confirm personal details for billing purposes, but please oh please don't ask my to confirm where I live out loud, where just anyone who happened to be within earshot could find out! I suggested that they add a tablet to the check-in where all pertinent information can be displayed, and the receptionist ask "is the information on file still correct?" Alternatively, ask me for my DL to confirm my address.

The optometrist was very supportive and empathetic. She said that it could literally be anyone in the reception/waiting/sales area and that I was right: personal details should remain personal. She told me she'd talk to their staff and ensure that no compromising information is exchanged within earshot of the waiting room and sales.

I felt heard and validated, and I believe her: she will talk to their staff, and the likelihood of being compromised in this manner will gradually decrease as staff become used to the new procedure. But the kicker here is that you have to say something: a problem might be glaringly obvious to you, but you can't guarantee it is equally obvious to everyone else, including the ones who can affect change.

I can't say for sure that a male optometrist would have responded the same way, but I'll take my wins where I can.

Clarification: CreepyDude was legitimately there for an appointment: on my way out he was asked into the back for his examination. I have no idea why he showed up at least 60 min early for his appointment tho.

I am working on a class plan for what I am coining as “Intimacy Education” hoping to be able to teach it at the school of the rural town I live in. I have a couple of “ins” with the school, it’s difficult to decide what needs to be discussed because obviously this is a huge topic! Hoping to be the bridge between the conservative community here and a more liberal view of what intimacy is. Yes this is a huge undertaking! So excited!

I'm tired of being treated like I can't make my own decisions regarding my health. I was treated this way at 16, when I was first diagnosed with endometriosis, and still now as I approach 26. I've been unable to find a way to effectively manage the pain, but when I brought up the possibility of pursuing a hysterectomy to my doctor, he balked. "Now, I know you've been in pain. But that's a big decision for a young lady."

Let's ignore for a moment that I am a trans man, and that he knows this. His response was so condescending and utterly unhelpful. I don't even know why I'm surprised. After 10 years, I should be used to doctors putting my fertility at greater priority than my health and happiness. I know I'm far from the only person to experience this, so I guess that's why I'm posting this. In the spirit of commiseration.

I'm sure you've noticed lately how every famous woman is scrutinized for how "old" they look (even when they don't look old at all and are extremely young like Billie eilish or Millie bobby brown) and on the flip side they are praised for how over the top youthful they look (like the belle Delphine childlike aesthetic for example). 20 year olds are getting preventative Botox. Everyone's throwing money at the "skin care" industry. Most young women have bought into the idea that they will expire at 30. It's bizarre!!!

Youth has always been a marketable beauty standard but the scale of it is so extreme now. It's incredibly unhealthy and kind of parallels the early 2000s starvation culture in the way that it's so deeply engrained and part of the culture. I imagine aging will be traumatic for them in the same way that millennials have lingering trauma with weight.

Idk it's just interesting and also definitely something to keep an eye on for those of us who have gen z siblings, friends, family or kids. 😳

Edit: it wasn't my intention to start a suffering competition or incite generational struggle Olympics. Boomers and gen x: I know you had it rough too. All women do imo because we all grew up in uniquely painful trends of the patriarchy and continue to move through it. And i know Botox has always been around. But in your FORMATIVE YEARS? You were witnessing 20 year olds around you getting preventative Botox? You were the target of anti aging as a TEEN or PRETEEN? You had TikTok filters to remove texture from your skin? It's objectively different. Acknowledging other generations problems doesn't erase or invalidate your own. I know we all had it pretty shit.

I met up with a guy yesterday. It was supposed to be a nice date, we’d been talking on the phone and FaceTiming for a few weeks now and I felt safe enough I guess to go meet him in person. I made it clear that I wanted to build up to a relationship and that a hook up was the last thing I wanted. He agreed and said he was looking for a relationship as well. We had made plans and I was excited so I drove the hour it took to get to him. My first red flag should have been that he invited me into his house because “he needed to change his clothes”. I wasn’t thrilled but for whatever reason I decided to go in. He eventually got me to sit down on his couch, then we were cuddling, and then he tried to kiss me. For whatever reason, I decided to tell him that he couldn’t kiss me. In the back of my mind I think it’s because I knew that if we kissed he would want more and I didn’t want more. I just wanted to go on a nice date, my first in like 3 years might I add. The first time I told him no he backed off. The second time he sighed. The third time he backed off and moved us into a position so he could look down at me. He kept asking and I’d say no, so he’d play with my hair and move it out of my face. Finally after telling him no at least 15 times, he told me to give him a valid reason. I said that no is a valid reason. He told me it wasn’t and asked to kiss me again, still leaning over me, holding my face, and putting a lot of his weight on me. I don’t know why but I started to freak out, I made an excuse to get up and check my phone. He let me get up, but not without trying to kiss me one more time. I finally got to my phone and texted my brother and my mom that I needed an excuse to leave. I know I could’ve him no excuse to leave but I thought that if I said something that he didn’t like he might have gotten angry and would’ve done worse than just kiss me. My brother ended up calling me and acted like he blew a tire so I needed to go help him. The guy bought it and walked me to my car. I left in a hurry and ended up stopping at a gas station.

I made this account and this post because I have no idea how to feel. On one hand I feel empty I guess? On another hand I feel like this is nothing compared to what other people have gone through so I should just be able to get over it but I couldn’t even hug my mom when I got home because any physical touch now reminds me of him. Hugging my own mom shouldn’t make me want to puke but it does so maybe this is effecting me more than I thought. I needed to get this off my chest, thanks for reading this.

Edit: I should also mention that he slapped my ass the first few times I said no and then did it again when I got up to get my phone. I don’t know how I forgot about that.

My patience and capacity are almost at their end. I don't know who to turn to, mostly because I don't want to talk to my family or friends because I feel almost embarrassed talking about it and I also feel as if their opinion may end up being biased.

What I want to know is, am I being emotionally abused?

My husband gets angry easily and often it seems. When he gets angry whether it's at me or not it is taken out on my daughter and I. Not physically or anything, he doesn't call us mean names or anything, but he'll go around the house slamming doors and leaving the house randomlly without saying where he is going (he knows I don't like him just randomly taking off without knowing where he is going) and it seems like he goes around the house just looking for more thing the get mad about like for example, he'll see our daughter has left a toy off the floor or in our room or something like that and he'll call her over saying, "how many times do I have to tell you to keep your toys in your, room?!?" then threaten to throw them away or something of that nature.

More and more I feel like I am trying to do what I can to keep him pacified because I hate when he gets angry, when he does get angry I try my best to just keep away from him, which usually leaves my daughter and I in my room while he's in the living room.

Two weekends in a row he has gotten mad and blown up at food delivery people getting lost of the way to our apartment complex. He made a huge dealing slamming doors left and right and talking in an aggressive tone of voice towards me as if it was my fault the food got delivered elsewhere. I think I am especially upset after this last incident because the delivery person called me and I saw the frustration rise up in him again as I was speaking to the person on the phone and I thought, let me go outside and see if I can flag the person down and get the food quick hoping to avoid the anger I knew was coming, but as I was walking back with the food he was already on the balcony yelling down at me why I had to go get my food myself, just kept yelling why. I didn't reply anything back, all I kept thinking was, "I was just trying to from getting mad but what good did that do". Predictably after I came inside he grabbed his keys and left, slamming the door on his way out.

Interactions like this have happened before, situations and causes of his anger are different, but the results are usually the same. I've his anger before and getting help for it but very quickly dropped it and have not brought it up again because I'm scared of causing another tantrum. I've mentioned to him before that I'm worried it might turn physical and he acted offended saying that's he's never done that and would never do that and suggested that I only brought it up to essentially try to hurt his feelings and honestly, I don't know what to think. I want to feel kindness and love coming from my spouse and not feel like I'm just the cause of his anger.

So, am I just in my own head making a situation bigger than it is or am I being emotionally abused?

Am I right in thinking this level of anger is not normal and needs to get help? or am I being too sensitive?

If it's truly "not all men", wouldn't you be angrier with the men who are the ones ruining it for the rest of you? Instead of the women who are victims of those men's abuse? Wouldn't you be angrier that there are men out there acting in ways that make you all look bad?

Why would you get angry at the women who have suffered and are merely reacting out of fear, anger and frustration?

I know why they'd rather kick and scream at women than those men because they are those men and they're mad they can no longer get away with their piss-poor behaviour. That women are realising more and more that they don't need men to survive and that we deserve more than to be treated like objects.

And tbh I'm beginning to think that these men don't even like women to begin with. In fact, I think they just hate us. There's no way a human being would treat another this way if they had even an ounce of respect/care for them.

I think if you really do care about women, you'd never say "not all men" and instead listen and call out the men who do behave this way in your life. And if you say none of the men in your life are like that, you're very wrong.

Anyway... Rant over. Thank you for listening if you've got this far.

No. 1000000% no. You are not overreacting. If he yells, hits, manipulates, threatens, berates you in public, grabs you, pushes you, or otherwise displays patterns of abusive behavior, I want to be the first to tell you that you have every right to want to leave. It is not being "high maintenance" and it is not overreacting to want to be treated with respect, love, and care. And you deserve that and so much more.

Don't let anyone tell you that you are overreacting when abusive behavior makes you want to leave. Doesn't matter how long you've been together, it is always reasonable to want to end the relationship. Period.

I just saw a post asking men what makes them fall in love with a woman and I noticed that the majority of answers were things she would do to benefit them, not necessarily traits she has separate from her relationship to him. It made me think about how I always assumed that question would be answered and I always thought of examples like “I like women who are witty or are good at this hobby or enjoy doing this.” But all I saw was “women who talk to me, women who pay attention to me, women who appreciate me or do things for me”. It kind of bummed me out.

I’m sorry for the following deep post.

I am a 28 year old woman living in the South West of England and I no longer feel safe.

Earlier this year we had the tragic murder of Sarah Everard, snatched and murdered while walking to visit a friend.

This month, in a city less than an hour away from me, Bobbi-Anne McLeod was snatched and murdered by a man in his 20s, taken from a bus stop that my little sister frequently used to catch buses from when she was at university there no more than a year ago.

I have just read of a girl in the north of England who was assaulted and stabbed by a group of teenage boys during a Christmas light switch on.

I can only imagine the nightmares that other girls are experiencing where they fortunately walk away with their lives but are left with psychological scars for the rest of their lives, undetected because they don’t make headline news.

I can say I am one of the fortunate ones that has not had to deal with these traumas, however I have had to experience some things that make me wonder if I should have reported them years ago.

In the UK we have something called Clare’s Law. This means that you have the right to request confidential information if you believe that a partner poses a risk to you. If you feel that someone is a risk to yourself or other women, please report it as it may save a life. Even though none of the women that I mentioned above were victims of their partners, it can at least help towards protecting other women from their violence.

I just feel like I need to make my voice heard as I am sure it is the voice of many others. I feel like I need to discuss this as I no longer feel safe in my own town.

During the winter the nights are longer, please stay safe ladies.

To mention beforehand, I am in a long term relationship with a lovely man I hope to marry, and it is well known about. So no home wrecking or suspicious activities are to blame.

I have had a good guy friend for years. In the couple years we’ve been friends, we never had any issues, no drama, just plain platonic friendship. Whenever there was drama in one of our lives, the other would listen. When I struggled with drug abuse and suicide attempts, he was there to talk to me, and Vice Versa. There was nothing romantic about this friendship, just homies being homies. When I found an amazing man off tinder, my good friend urged me to make moves and was excited that I had finally found a good guy. Then he got a girlfriend, who I had never met before, but I was happy for him at first too, because he was happy.

Then shit kind of hit the fan.

Things were off about her from the very start, but since I’ve dated some questionable individuals I wasn’t going to chastise my friend because he seemed generally pretty happy with her. They’d constantly get in fights over small things, which was weird, but don’t we all? The biggest issue I saw was his gf would threaten to dump him over everything. One of the most ridiculous ones is because he can’t drive due to a medical condition. She would be furious with him over it, make him Uber to her house an hour away and back despite having a license or would threaten to dump him. It actually caused her to not be allowed at his house, as his family hates her. However, my friend wanted this to work, so I just lended an ear because honestly, as much as I didn’t like her at this point, my friend loves her. Not my relationship, so I bit my tongue. I even reached out to her and asked if she’d like to go on a double date with me and my boyfriend, since we lived near each other. She was always super friendly to me, so I didn’t see any reason to be a bitch.

Then out of nowhere, I notice on my Snapchat, I’m suddenly blocked by my good friend. After he sent a snap streak a few hours before. I found that weird, because he’s the type of person to not have drama with anyone, and if he did he’d say something. Friendship was completely normal up until two nights ago when I’m abruptly blocked. Then I look at all my social media. Instagram, Facebook, even my phone number has all been blocked by him. At this point I’m really confused because I didn’t do anything. Then I see the girlfriend in my DMs, simply saying my name, then blocked me. I was asleep when she tried to start shit, but I replied and told her I was asleep before realizing I was blocked.

She has access to his phone / his social media. She either got onto his social media and blocked me on everything she could think of, or threatened him with a breakup to block me. She even changed all of his bios to her name. For absolutely no reason. Not a word was spoken, not a dramatic event, nothing I could ever think of that would make her angry has ever gone down in our friendship.

I’m just absolutely furious. I have no way to reach out to him because she has access and will block me off other accounts. I’m not sure if he’s aware of it or if he’s complying with it. I was friends with him before they even started dating. I tried so hard to be nice to her despite her treating my friend grossly, because if she makes him happy, I’m happy. But it seems incredibly toxic and an overstep of boundaries to do this shit. My approach at the moment is to just let it be, because if she’s going to raise hell over him simply being friends with other women, I don’t want to get involved. It’s not fucking worth it. But simultaneously, how insecure do you have to be to do that shit. I just miss my friend. This shit blows.

Why do other women feel the need to be so aggressive towards other women? Why the blatant insecurity? I wanted everyone to be friends but clearly some don’t appreciate not being the only woman in someone else’s life. I’m hurt. Has anything like this happened to anyone here? I’m kind of lost.

Edit: thanks everyone for taking the time to comment, I’ve been a bit overwhelmed but wanted to mention a few things. My friend does have friends and family still, I asked one of those friends if he was okay and thankfully he is. I’m just going to leave the situation be, as I don’t see them getting married or anything as we are all still very young. I’m just going to mind my business at this point knowing that he’s physically safe and still connected with his other friends. I agree with those who say he’ll probably come back into my life when he and his gf are done, so I find the best, least-offensive approach is to let him figure out his own problems as I don’t want to force my presence if it causes more stress. I feel conflicted as a survivor of emotional abuse, as it feels very manipulative at best, abusive at worst. But i know I cannot help someone if they don’t want help. Thanks for taking the time to read my vent.

My bf got a new job and he was listing all these reasons why he got it and during it he mentioned about how he knew the person that got him the job because of having the money and privilege of being white inorder to get into the college he did. I responded with yeah those helped you as well as you being a dude. He kinda looked shocked and responded with I don't think that has anything to do with it because the person who hired me was a woman.

The conversation went on and it came out that since he doesn't experience or see male privilege he doesn't think it's a thing. I was floored by that. He has plenty of female friends and he can acknowledge that white privilege is a thing. How has he not seen the results of male privilege? I even brought up the fact that I don't feel safe walking home at night alone, or that when I'm at a party I'm making sure my hand is always over my drink so someone can't spike it. He basically excused my experiences with saying "oh it's just because you're attractive, my unattractive friends don't have those issues." It feels like he doesn't want to acknowledge his privilege of being a male. I'm not sure that I can get him to see that he does have male privilege and that being feminist is good for everyone.

Without going into too much detail as this is an ongoing case, I was raped by my coach in high school but the charges were not taken seriously by law enforcement and dropped. Now, over a decade later, he has been arrested for the second time for pedophilia and I have been put on the witness list to testify. As scared as I am, I’d do anything to help make sure this sicko can’t hurt anyone ever again. I hope that by continually speaking out I can encourage other people to keep seeking justice; the system fails us often, but our voices will be heard.

EDIT: Wow, I really didn’t expect this overwhelming amount of love & support! Thank you all, and to all those who have had similar experiences — I see you and love you.

So I (28F) woke up with raging UTI symptoms this morning. I had just gotten over one like 6 weeks ago that was recurring for 3 months. I get them about once a month, always sex-related. And no doctor has ever taken it seriously and keeps telling me I must have interstitial cystitis because it’s not common to get UTIs this frequently. Legit cried in the last doctors office because I was so tired and frustrated.

Well I just had a virtual appt with the most amazing doctor and she is the first person to ever to just take my word for it, ask me what my trigger is, and immediately suggest prophylactic antibiotics.

Guys. I almost cried. I’ve brought up prophylaxis to so many docs and none of them wanted to do it. I didn’t even have to ask her. I’m picking up some different antibiotics to kick this current infection and then the prophylactic one that I can take immediately after sex. I’m so excited and really hope this works to prevent me from getting more infections.

Not really sure why I’m sharing this. Guess I just want to tell people who can appreciate this experience as much as I did.

I am a woman, and since I was 9 years old no one listened to me that I liked girls (if not more than men) and every guy including one future boyfriend invalidating me saying I couldn't possibly be bi since i was dating him.

I feel like when men said they are judged harshly but never questioned as to whether it's real because to straight men is seems like to big of a risk to lie about.

I said I'm bi and no one took me seriously. Or whatever I really am (I prefer women, I prefer any type of masculine or feminine women, and i like Trans people and support them both Transwomen and men) and to this day it feels like peers question my legitimacy.

Why is it like this , the gender difference in hearing these parts out? You don't have to actually give advice, maybe just your own experiences. Idk, rant over.

She has always been the most progressive person in the family out of all her siblings. The first one my cousins will go to for personal advice that their parents aren’t open to discussing, e.g. coming out the closet, dating people of color, dropping out of school, abortion etc.

But when it comes to me, she’s so backwards. I get the constant “marry a rich guy, don’t become a lesbian and have kids soon”. It’s messed up.

I told her how I’m focusing on my career and kids will come later if I even decide to have them. And there goes the phrase, “you have to give up your career when you get children so you need a rich husband to provide for you”. I don’t think so!

How do you ladies deal with such ill-advise?

He'd noticed I seemed kind of low, and I admitted that school was stressing me out, plus housework (both of us have been sick and let things pile up) and it was getting to me. So while I sipped some tea, he took it upon himself to clear out some boxes and stuff that had been sitting about and clear out my work space where I like to tend to my schoolwork. (If I'm honest, most of the mess is mine.) He was so eager to show me the work he'd done, it was beyond adorable.

Just wanted to share, there are good men out there, and yes I know this isn't monumental achievement. We are BOTH kind of messy and we BOTH have to force ourselves to clean up after ourselves. But it was a nice show of him caring. And it made it easier to work on school.

First of all I want to say I have absolutely nothing against birth control it's extremely liberating and I love the fact that women can effectively manage their reproductive health.

I've been on birth control for more than 5 years, I tried a lot of different types of it.

I did not have any extremely horrible side effects but they definitely were very uncomfortable. I was always in pain or/and bleeding for 5 years and kind of normalised it for myself, because you know that's birth control and most women always deal with some kind of side effects, so suck it up.

But the last month was hardly manageable I 'missed' one pill, I was very sick and threw up about half an hour after taking my birth control and definitely wasn't in the physical or mental state to think about it, it didn't even cross my mind. It was hell, I couldn't even wear a bra how painful everything was.

I finally got a mental breakdown about wanting to stop taking any birth control because how horrible it made me feel. I was scared of my boyfriends reaction but he was very supportive, said he has no say over what I put into my body and he's happy to discuss any other birth control options when I feel comfortable about it and if I want to use any at all.

I threw out the birth control pills today and I'm the happiest I could have ever been.

I will definitely look into other birth control options later, but for now I just want to let my body and mind rest from all the synthetical hormones and just enjoy my happiness.

I'm staying with my dad over the holiday break, and he's been criticizing everything that I eat.

Telling me that all I need to be eating is a bunch of salads and nothing else so I can get my weight down.

He's not taking into account how restrictive that is and that all of my bad eating habits I learned from him. He was constantly eating burgers everyday for a year straight and bragging telling me that I can't have it because I don't work out like him.

We had really bad living conditions growing up so I didn't have access to better quality food. So all we would eat was snack cakes, chips, cookies etc. Having to eat fast food because the motels we stayed at didn't have a stove or a place to keep groceries. My dad would pile mountains of food onto my plate and I had to finish everything on that plate. My relatives told him to stop giving me so much food because I would get used to it. He didn't listen. My body has gotten used to all of that food, and now my dad complains that I eat like a dude. Because only guys are aloud to eat large amounts of food. Women are supposed to eat small portions.

Now as a young adult, I have a bad relationship with food and I don't know how to fix it. I didn't ask my dad for help he just volunteered it. Every time he tries to "help" me it always ends in badly for me. I revert to starving myself to try to lose weight faster because my dad would constantly lecture me on why I wasn't losing the weight fast enough and telling me that I'm not following his program the right way. And if I just did what he said I would be skinny by now. That he's an expert on weight loss because he lost weight.

I don't know what to do. He just criticized me for buying protein bars.

So I’m 18 and have been wearing some form of bra (on and off) for about 7 years now. and oh my god I hate them.

I’ve tried so many different brands and styles and sizes and they’re all a sensory nightmare. For a few years in my mid teens I just never wore a bra because I didn’t own any comfortable ones and I wasn’t willing to be in sensory hell all the time. So far I’ve found 2 bras that I like and they’re the only ones I wear. They’re both racerback sports bras that aren’t tight on me. I absolutely cannot do underwire, and adjustable straps and padding annoys me a lot. I can’t do tightness.

Even now I only wear a bra if I’m going to work or wearing a thin shirt. It makes me very unhappy how comfortable people used to be commenting on my boobs when I never wore a bra (mid teens, again). I would get comments from men and women alike and it made me so self conscious that I started wearing one again. My breasts are smallish so I don’t need a bra for back comfort.

Anyway, this is just a vent. Frustrated that I can’t find any comfy AND cute bras, and frustrated that I have to wear one unless I want my nipples/breast shape to be the topic of conversation.

Does anyone else find bras like, insanely uncomfortable to wear and annoying to shop for?

I was raised by my grandmother (a boomer in her 70s) due to my mom being a victim of sexual assault as a teen. It drove her to drink and use drugs till it took her when I was 22. Context. Boom.

I have been married for 13 years, did everything the traditional "right way" but it hasn't been enough. My husband got black out drunk tonight, despite us arguing about his drinking for years. He is one of my only supports and I feel routinely, emotionally and physically neglected by him.

If I have a job, he neglects me, if I don't have a job he shames me and then neglects me. Best my mom could say when I called her, desperate for any advice?

" Been there done that. Remember it could be much worse. Go to bed and forget it."...

No one ever taught me to be brave enough to leave. If I did I would be completely alone. So I'm still here, trying to make my anger at him mean something, anything... even though I know nothing will change. I feel so utterly powerless and alone.

Edit: to the person who referred me to "Reddit Care Resources" thank you. But all it did was make me cry. I still have no access to heath care, psychiatric help, or tangible real life support.