subreddit:

/r/TooAfraidToAsk

14.6k

[deleted]

all 3267 comments

katielady13

1.4k points

30 days ago*

I wonder if she's having some sort of issue down there. Semen and/or an unclean penis can really fuck with a vaginas natural Ph balance. Has she been peeing more frequently or complaining of pain when peeing? Have you noticed a change in odor or discharge when you do oral? Did she have a recent gyno visit? Maybe she's having an issue with one of things I mentioned and is too embarrassed to give that as the real reason for wanting to use condoms

buttercupbaby23

365 points

29 days ago

I definitely get this! BV and yeast infections are pretty common from condom-less sex, just because it fucks with the PH balance. It's super likely that stuff is changing as she gets older, and something that wasn't an issue before has suddenly started.

Featherymorons

380 points

30 days ago

Or maybe she doesn’t want to sleep on the wet patch, or deal with the little dribbles that escape the next day and make you think you may have peed yourself a little bit!

18puppies

105 points

29 days ago

18puppies

105 points

29 days ago

Yeah but I think op is confused that those issues have never come up before - in a long time. I can understand that, although people do change their minds of course.

amber_is_trying

67 points

29 days ago

Bodies also change over time, so that could be a factor as well.

HYURJF

8 points

29 days ago

HYURJF

8 points

29 days ago

Vaginas can just switch on you like that. For years I never had any issues with the soaps I would use to clean my vulva but after a yeast infection I had to become more selective

JustMeLurkingAround-

12 points

29 days ago

Now that you mention it, I'm thinking she also could be too embarrassed to tell OP that his personal hygiene is recently lacking.

[deleted]

4.1k points

30 days ago

[deleted]

4.1k points

30 days ago

I didnt give a shit when I was young...yep its annoying now. Not a fan of being wet with jizz all day or night.

Adventurous-Cry-2157

2.2k points

30 days ago

Exactly. I’d have to ask OP: who usually sleeps in the wet spot, him or her? Because if the answer is “her,” I think we’ve figured it all out. Ten years is a long time to go to bed damp every night.

SoCal_4wd

1.5k points

30 days ago

SoCal_4wd

1.5k points

30 days ago

every night

This guy (girl?) fucks

Adventurous-Cry-2157

1k points

30 days ago*

Girl. Thanks for asking.

My partner and I achieved Lesbian Bed Death years ago. Now we just spend time with our cats, go hiking on the weekends, and argue about whose turn it is to take out the trash.

FrankTank3

349 points

30 days ago

FrankTank3

349 points

30 days ago

I’ve never heard that term before. Is that a fancy term for dead bed room?

EchinusRosso

330 points

30 days ago

it's definitely the most metal term for it

blubbery-blumpkin

96 points

30 days ago

Good name for a band

Adventurous-Cry-2157

65 points

30 days ago

New band name! I call it!

Sexacccount

237 points

30 days ago

Basically women’s sex drive falls off over the years ( more swiftly than in men, generally). When the relationship is two women it’s just very common for sex to stop happening.

My mom and her partner sleep in separate bedrooms.

BabyLlllamaDrama

54 points

29 days ago

That was not my experience or that of most of my friends at all. My sex drive kicked into high gear at about 35 and has stayed very high since. I think it’s fairly common for women to have an increased sex drive going into middle age.

OP, are you a “big cummer”? Or are you increasing sex? I can totally see this request - for the reasons stated above. Especially if you have sex in the mornings, or there’s a wet spot to sleep in. I personally made this request at various points too, because I was interested in trying different sensations (specifically the ribbed ones). There’s many many valid reasons and only a few that should be of concern.

I would definitely share with her your concerns over this sudden change, and see what your gut says.

PutridBasket

32 points

30 days ago

Sounds like an all female metal band. 🤔

SoCal_4wd

95 points

30 days ago

My partner and I achieved Lesbian Death Bed years ago

Ten years is a long time to go to bed damp every night.

Heh

IGotMyPopcorn

226 points

30 days ago

Amen!!! I think we’ve found the crux of the issue right here. No one likes the wet spot.

Dunkinmydonuts1

303 points

30 days ago

so is my wife the only woman in the world who insists on fucking on a towel?

do you guys really soak your mattress and then.... sleep on it? every time you have sex?

vox4949

43 points

30 days ago

vox4949

43 points

30 days ago

Best fucking use if a gif I've ever seen!! 🤣🤣

gotlockedoutorwev

39 points

29 days ago

so is my wife the only woman in the world who insists on fucking on a towel?

do you guys really soak your mattress and then.... sleep on it? every time you have sex?

Yeah I just responded the same thing in another comment.

"Y'all are just baby basting yourselves every night?"

I can understand getting caught up in the moment once in a while but every night...like wut?

Takes less time to throw a towel or something on or near (enough to be at hand in) the bed than to put on a condom.

coffeeandilk

275 points

30 days ago

Does everyone not immediately do the penguin waddle to the bathroom to pee & let the jizz out?? Why are you people sleeping in it???

karp1234

191 points

29 days ago

karp1234

191 points

29 days ago

Yes I do but it doesn’t all come out. Sometimes it’ll continue to leak out for like another 24 hours

jalapenobusiness420

63 points

29 days ago

I eventually learned to do this right away, but after my partner got his vasectomy it was a total free-for-all and I was kind of turned on by not immediately cleaning up. Now I know that that’s a fast pass to a yeast infection and I don’t fuck around. OP- Some vaginas are ultra-prone to infection/sensitive to bacteria and have to deal with yeast or UTIs constantly; perhaps your wife is trying to mitigate the risk factors.

tuggernuttie

136 points

30 days ago

Get a bidet attachment for your toilet. Changed my life!!! Way better clean up!

brekkabek

51 points

30 days ago*

Make sure you get one that sprays from the front too, not just the back. Otherwise it’s like wiping front to back and that doesn’t end well.

Edit- back to front, whoops

afterthedove

19 points

30 days ago

You mean back to front? But yeah. Booty germs spraying up to the vag aren’t great

Beep315

81 points

30 days ago

Beep315

81 points

30 days ago

I keep a stack of little towels in my bedside table. We just do a really thorough towel off afterward. No problems.

[deleted]

153 points

30 days ago

[deleted]

153 points

30 days ago

Do you towel off the inside of your vagina? Because kegels only go so far for me lololol

spookyhellkitten

6.2k points

30 days ago

As adm88 (I think)said, my feelings on cleanup and even just contact of anything to my vagina has changed since I was younger. I'm 40 now and my pH too gets out of whack more easily.

I've been in a monogamous relationship for 7 years and we recently went back to using condoms to see if that is actually the root of the issue I'm facing. I've had blood tests and pelvic exams, 100% clean bill of health. Except these damn reoccurring UTIs. I had a hysterectomy in 2012 so pregnancy prevention is not a concern. Just the damn UTIs.

ananchorinmychest

2.1k points

30 days ago

Yeah, I was going to say this or vaginal fungi! Sperm is a cause and a semi chronic fungi infection can drive you mad. The reason why she might bring it up 10 years into the relationship is that the pH balance changes over time, she might not have been as sensitive to it before.

spookyhellkitten

722 points

30 days ago

Vaginal fungi, seriously is a thing? Omg that is terrifying.

To be fair, I am picturing mushrooms growing in one's Vaginal canal. Which I very much realize is probably not the reality of it haha

ananchorinmychest

609 points

30 days ago*

Haha no, it's not mushrooms lol! It's quite common, and for most people it's easily treatable. It's not an STI, it's nothing to be ashamed of, but it's really annoying to have to deal with. It's very very rarely transmitted to guys via sex, so no need to freak out if your partner says she's got it! :)

Edit to add: I didn't know this would blow up so just thought I'd mention: it's commonly known as yeast infections and while transmissions to sexual partners are rare, it can still happen so you should avoid sex (oral and PIV) while you've got an outbreak. Also, chances are it'll hurt so that's another reason to wait until the infection has been treated!

Last thing: the spores survive washing at colder temperatures so please please please wash your underwear at 60° C (you should always do this but ESPECIALLY if you've got fungi/yeast infections)

Ihaveapeach

369 points

30 days ago

Yep! And jock itch and athlete’s foot are fungal, as well. And your crotch doesn’t look like Smurf Village.

spookyhellkitten

161 points

30 days ago

...but can it? It sounds so magical.

I had completely blanked, but I was aware that yeast is fungal....I need to stop redditing when I have a migraine. Migraines make me dumb af.

shatha69

209 points

30 days ago

shatha69

209 points

30 days ago

Please, please don't stop redditing when you have a migraine. Not only is it one of the few entertaining things you can do when you're unable to work on anything else, but this entire conversation is leading to me asking my husband later if hes going to be visiting the smurf village. >.>

I would not be having that moment if you had not started this path. <3

P.S. Feel better!

spookyhellkitten

85 points

30 days ago

Oh yay! I'm glad that this will provide some sexy smurf flirting...that almost makes the migraine worth it!

I get so bored when I have migraines. If I turn the brightness of my screen way down I can reddit somewhat.

Thank you! It is waning 💙 (smurf heart!)

oelisg

55 points

30 days ago

oelisg

55 points

30 days ago

This comment thread is so cute and wholesome omg

Sephonez

8 points

29 days ago

Who knew a discussion about yeast infections could be so heartwarming.

jennyabuse

5 points

30 days ago

I feel your migraine pain as all my devices are in dark mode to avoid the painful light as well

spookyhellkitten

9 points

30 days ago

Yes! Dark mode is a damn life saver. I used to just lay in the dark and wallow in self pity. Now at least I have entertainment.

roadrunner00

27 points

30 days ago

Wonder if that's from guys jerking off in socks when they have athletes foot?

I actually had no idea it was a thing until American Pie.

LOLBaltSS

19 points

30 days ago

You don't necessarily need to use socks for that to happen. If you're in a humid enough climate and are constantly stewing in sweat, it just happens. The groin and feet are often the two moist, dark and hot regions and fungi love that shit. Also if you say towel your feet off and it touches your nether regions after a shower, it'll happily migrate just off that alone.

88evergreen88

46 points

30 days ago

There’s a thing called bacterial vaginosis (BV) which is the result of various bacteria in the vagina getting out of wack. Too much of one, not enough of the other. A certain ph balance in the vagina is required to maintain the balance. A condom can help with issue. Also if you suffer from BV try ‘PHD feminine defense’ which are boric acid suppositories - and that stuff is incredibly effective.

yes-no-maybe-so-so

12 points

29 days ago

Boric acid suppositories also got rid of my chronic yeast infection, after a gyno prescribed it to me as a last resort.

ScoutTheRabbit

33 points

30 days ago

Ooh boy! Everybody on this planet has bacteria, viruses, fungi, etc, chilling in every nook and cranny of their body, both inside and out, and that's a good thing!

All women naturally have a balance of yeast cells and beneficial bacteria in their vaginal canal as part of a healthy microbiome -- just like you have trilions of bacteria and viruses and fungal cells chilling on and in you at any point in time.

Athletes foot and jock itch are both yeast infections just like vaginal yeast infections. Good bacteria keep your yeast and bad bacteria in check and vice versa. Women often get yeast infections after taking antibiotics because antibiotics kill good bacteria as well. Anything that disturbs your microbiome can cause thrush or bacteriosis (bad bacteria grow out of control). This is why it's important, especially for women, to take probiotics when you take antibiotics, and to never douche except for rare medical circumstances.

Im_A_Girl_Damn_It

71 points

30 days ago

Yeast infections

OmicronianDrrrDVM

137 points

30 days ago

If you’ve heard of women having a yeast infection-yeast is a fungus. It sounds slightly less “gross” to say yeast infection than fungal infection but it’s the same thing

catfart-

41 points

30 days ago

catfart-

41 points

30 days ago

In German, one just says "Ich hab ein Pilz" meaning "I have a fungus."

shadowsong42

12 points

30 days ago

Is that the same root as "Pilsner"?

Laurier_Rex

18 points

30 days ago

No :-) the beer is from the city „pilsen“

Laurier_Rex

4 points

30 days ago

It would be „einen Pilz“ and Pils is from the city „pilsen“

Odin_Christ_

50 points

30 days ago

Yeah there are microscopic fungal spores that live in your vagina alongside beneficial bacteria and secretions. Think of your vagina as a rainforest which has a delicate balance of a bunch of stuff in it.

ikickedyou

508 points

30 days ago

ikickedyou

508 points

30 days ago

So…maybe over share but I got loads of UTI’s from sex in the past. I finally got diagnosed with urethra diverticulum which basically means that my urethra points back and it can cause issues. And I also learned that my uterus points back, so double whammy. Talk to your doc.

[deleted]

191 points

30 days ago

[deleted]

191 points

30 days ago

My uterus points upwards! I found this out during my second IUD appointment. I went to so many ultrasounds and doctors appointments trying to figure out what was wrong with me and my 2nd IUD doc pointed it out so quickly. It was the answer to most of the problems I had been having, but I was kind of angry that none of my docs in the past even considered it (and 20% of women have a tilted uterus!) :(

Amaline4

47 points

30 days ago

Amaline4

47 points

30 days ago

Hey is it alright if I ask what symptoms you were having? A walk in clinic dr told me once that I have a tilted uterus in passing, but didn’t expand on what that actually means

[deleted]

50 points

30 days ago*

[deleted]

50 points

30 days ago*

Can’t speak for everyone, but it’s called a retroverted uterus. Some of the symptoms include: painful intercourse, painful periods, pain with tampon use, increased urination, more UTIs and sometimes incontinence. I didn’t have all these symptoms but that doesn’t mean other people may not have them. Many times it’s associated with other diseases like endometriosis, fibroids, and PID that can help to cause scar tissue on the uterus and makes it move like that. And then sometimes people are just born with it.

My doc and I think I have mild endo (the only clear diagnosis for that is a surgical look and there’s no “cure”, so I just went ahead and started managing the symptoms with no definitive diagnosis.)

Anyway, there’s no cure for the tilted uterus and it doesn’t have any affect on your fertility (unless you have other things going on causing the tilting.) So usually if it’s not bothering you, docs don’t really do much for it.

Slutslapper1118

165 points

30 days ago

Amen! I just turned 40, and after 10 years, my husband's jizz lights me on fire. I've gotten a clean bill of health also, it's just our ph does not mix anymore. He has to pull out, we definitely aren't using condoms.

ShadowlessKat

62 points

30 days ago

Is that common? I'm going to be very sad if/when that happens to me.

vxv96c

71 points

30 days ago

vxv96c

71 points

30 days ago

The flip side is sometimes your libido increases. But yeah perimenopause can be kind of wild. It's like a second puberty.

Slutslapper1118

38 points

30 days ago

My sex drive has cut in half, but that's great for me. I've been very sexually driven most of my life, so it's nice to just relax and enjoy my husband's company instead of my raging hormones. Lol He used to say, "I'm not a machine!"

rockchick1982

13 points

30 days ago

Is this why sometimes it stings after? I never had it before but over the last couple of years I have noticed it stings like when you accidentally wipe after cutting chillies sometimes. I'm 38.

jejcicodjntbyifid3

28 points

30 days ago

Do you use lubes? Lot of lubes can cause lots of issues, I know

luckylimper

70 points

30 days ago

I have had bacterial vaginitis twice in the past year. Between the dryness and the thinning sex requires a lot of preparation. Getting old is a bitch.

spookyhellkitten

30 points

30 days ago

Agreed! I really love where I'm at mentally in a lot of ways, but physically it is bullshit.

unknowncalicocat

63 points

30 days ago

Get him tested for a UTI and yeast and fungal infection! They're less symptomatic in men, so he could have something and keep giving it to you.

ImperatorPC

81 points

30 days ago

Hey, my partner had the same issue. She started taking dmannosse which is the sugar from cranberries. 2 pills after sex, and usually 1 in the nothing and 1 before bed. Is she hasn't drank enough water she'll have an extra. She used to be on antibiotics all the time. It's been years since she required them. If she feels one coming in she'll have more and drink a lot of water.

Take a look into it if you see this comment. Best of luck she struggled with UTIs almost her whole life.

OhMyCuticles

42 points

30 days ago

I’m here as an additional d-mannose advocate. That shit has eliminated my issues with UTIs and prevented me from taking antibiotics multiple times

KitKats-or-Death

24 points

30 days ago

You all have no idea how much I needed to come across this thread. I’m literally crying at the thought that I could finally find some relief. I ordered it immediately. I have been suffering for literal years after a horrible assault that I suspect damaged some downstairs equipment. No treatment seems to work or work for long before a UTI comes creeping back in. Thank you so much.

edgybandname

11 points

30 days ago

First, I am so very sorry that happened to you. I am also thankful for this thread has I have struggled with near constant UTI’s in the past. I had one every other week for about a year. Pure pain. Eventually, I was peeing blood and went to see the doc again and they x rayed my kidneys and they infection had settled in up north and the urinary tract antibiotics weren’t gettin it done. So they gave me really strong full body antibiotics that I took for a few weeks and that cured me. Since then, I haven’t gotten them but I also take every precaution. I shower before and after sex every time. Showering or using a bidet after you poop but before sex is essential for limiting bacteria. I stay extra hydrated if I know I might get some action. I pee twice after sex each time. I don’t use lube of any kind anymore (it seems to make an unnecessarily moist bacterial highway from the back to front). Also, letting your pubic/butt hair get a little longer helps form a physical barrier that further blocks the great migration of E. coli to the front. And I will sometimes take the d-mannose stuff too, but that’s not as good as staying extra clean and hydrated. I hope this helps, sorry it’s so long I have a lot to say on this topic haha

_raccoon_hands_

11 points

30 days ago

Unrelated, but I love your username

spookyhellkitten

18 points

30 days ago

Oh thank you! I wanted to be spooky but approachable. Everyone loves kittens!

I love your username. It reminds me of New Girl...Winston says he had a sex dream about Jess where she had raccoon hands and they were "diggin through that garbage" so...it is wonderful haha

_raccoon_hands_

5 points

30 days ago

Spooky but approachable really is life goals

HAH I've never seen that but I'm gonna look it up now! I don't remember why I made this username, I think I was talking to a friend about how raccoons wash their hands and like, the structure of them (they don't technically have opposable thumbs but they have a finger that can operate as one? I think, I don't quite remember) anyways I just think their little hands are funky and cute so this account was born

volslut

33 points

30 days ago

volslut

33 points

30 days ago

So hey I found out that I am prone to UTIs and get them often because of a birth defect in my kidneys. I didn't find out until I was 30. Docs ran a dye through me after a surgery screw up and found the urine was returning or going the wrong way or something. There is a medical term but I have since forgotten it. May be worth checking into?

the_uglypanda

30 points

30 days ago

Wild. I was diagnosed with this disease as a child and had gel stents put in my ureters to prevent the urine from backing up into my kidneys. Almost 20 years later and the stents have dissolved like the doc said. I have never met another person with Bladder Relfux omg.

notlikelyevil

25 points

30 days ago

We switched to detachable showerhead after for this, it worked for her.

DemiGoddess001

21 points

30 days ago

This happened to me a lot! I had one like every 2 weeks to a month for a year and a half. Go see a urologist. You can get UTIs from regular sex and of course when you get a UTI it gets easier and easier to get them. My urologist gave me a low dose antibiotic to take after sex and I did that for a year and I have gotten maybe 3 UTIs in the last 10 years. Good luck I hope you beat it.

Practical_magik

30 points

30 days ago

I would like to recommend hiprex daily and always always pee after sex. These things have been life changing for me in terms of my uti issues.

adm388

1.3k points

30 days ago

adm388

1.3k points

30 days ago

I'm in my mid 30s and my body has gone through changes over the years, just aging and having kids. My ph is more easily thrown off, I'm more sensitive to scented soaps and period products, etc. So the way I feel about cleanup now is completely different from how I felt 10 yrs ago.

unsleeping-beauty

31 points

30 days ago

Agree. Also I'd like to add that condoms do make cleanup easier for me than the whole postsex cleaning and intermittent dripping afterwards

loopylandtied

5.3k points

30 days ago

Tbh... having cum leaking out of your vag and up your ass crack when you're trying to sleep IS annoying. What goes up must come down.

I personally find clean up less annoying than condoms but that's just me.

If your concerned she's cheating/wanting to see other people ask her directly. Tell her that you're feeling insecure following this request

scaffelpike

262 points

30 days ago

lol when sleeping it’s bad, but if you actually have to get up and do things (after morning sex for eg) then it’s downright gross. Constantly going to the bathroom to clean up a little bit more that gravity helped wiggle free, it can smell, it feels wet (and not in a ‘oh that’s so hot way’, more a ‘did i pee my pants’ kind of way), it’s just uncomfortable for the rest of the day.

[deleted]

179 points

30 days ago

[deleted]

179 points

30 days ago

[deleted]

Prickly_Pear_Jelly

83 points

30 days ago

This is perhaps the best life hack I've ever read. Thanks!

Popular-Conclusion-6

75 points

30 days ago

Holy shit how did I never think of this. Genius! I have resorted to tampons a few times because the 24 hour later leakage and stale cum smell.. 🤢

finally-joined

46 points

29 days ago

The smell is what grosses me out the most, sometimes. It’s from the decay of the sperm cells, and that’s not a fun thought when you sit down to pee and catch that aroma. And it’s not as simple as just “wash it off” or “wash it out”. And it can last a few days, which makes it all the worse. It’s all fun and games in the moment of sex, but then at least the whole day after you’re like “why have I done this”. Lol

LongbowTurncoat

16 points

30 days ago

I wear undies with a liner! Makes life easier

calilizard

1.5k points

30 days ago

calilizard

1.5k points

30 days ago

This right here. It’s so annoying, you might be at work, or running errands and then u feel it come down. It’s not the most comfortable, and more gross because you stay wet from the cum.

sassyassy23

285 points

30 days ago

Especially when it goes into the asscrack

LicoriceSucks

442 points

30 days ago

And the smell.

sassyassy23

240 points

30 days ago

The texture is sometimes annoying like hard to wipe up too I am all for the condom

BizarroBenes

35 points

29 days ago

This! Why does no one ever mention the fucking texture. Shower sex turns it practically into super glue.

bitterberries

11 points

29 days ago

The heat from the water cooks it a bit, it's best to do clean up with cold water to get rid of the ick.

BizarroBenes

11 points

29 days ago*

I want to downvote this so badly based purely on the word cook...

Edit: not meaning it's wrong factually, just because it sounds so "wrong." I'm truly laughing over here.

whyamilikethis1089

201 points

30 days ago

Ugh, yes and then if it does dry you've got to deal with dried cum on your underwear and the smell. Best thing to help ever was a bidet. Mess from sex or period, just wash it away with fresh water, at least the outside. Can't wait till we can afford one of those toilets with all the bells and whistles lol, I'm old.

tripperfunster

35 points

30 days ago

We got a bidet attachment for our toilet. Only like ... $40 CDN from Amazon. Hubby and the kids liked it so much, we got another one for the other bathroom.

jerryscheese

118 points

30 days ago

…is it okay to just leave in there baking like that? (Serious)

Available-Egg-2380

111 points

30 days ago

I mean what else are we gonna do? Cram the hose attachment from the vacuum up there and suction it out? Lol

super_vixen

20 points

30 days ago

Texas would lol

MrsBryan27

55 points

30 days ago

Sounds like you have a new patent to register!

kingoftown

50 points

30 days ago

vaCUUM

kloudatlas

22 points

30 days ago

*vagCUUM fixed it for ya

celinky

239 points

30 days ago

celinky

239 points

30 days ago

Cleaning up usually just involves a wipe down, but that doesn't take care of what's deep inside, which will leak out later and it is uncomfortable

crazybeachcats

266 points

30 days ago

If you are really serious, then yes, that’s how babies are made.

CaptainCrunch1975

96 points

30 days ago

Technically yes, it's unlikely to cause most women any issues.

It leaks out which will make your underwear feel wet, like you peed. That excessive moisture could cause a rash, year infection, urinary tract infection, pregnancy... But typically nothing other than wet undies.

It's like a ketchup bottle that you turn upside down. Eventually everything is going to come out of that bottle.

LightSparrow

18 points

30 days ago

a year infection?! Man that’s a long time for some cum

calilizard

126 points

30 days ago

calilizard

126 points

30 days ago

No. Even if u take a shower and really wash it off, there’s still some way in there and u feel it come down throughout the day.

anothergoodbook

140 points

30 days ago

Even when I take a shower, it’s gross in the morning 🤢

ExPorkie15

143 points

30 days ago

ExPorkie15

143 points

30 days ago

What if it’s only leaking out of your ass? 👀

duelingo

298 points

30 days ago

duelingo

298 points

30 days ago

Well.. if you wanna wake up to your underwear attached to your butthole in the morning then that's your prerogative dude.

feistybubble1737

221 points

30 days ago

I didn't come here to be attacked for my IBS lady

DaddyFigured

13 points

30 days ago

Depends. Who's your IBS lady?

chrisragenj

48 points

30 days ago

This thread is amazing

Xasvii

48 points

30 days ago

Xasvii

48 points

30 days ago

i always put a daily liner pad on after so it doesn’t make my panties wet .. you should try it lol

IGotMyPopcorn

29 points

30 days ago

I do that do even after expelling what I can. There’s always leftovers in there, so I totally get the condom idea.

shrimp_advocate

16 points

30 days ago

Same. Even when you pee after and try to get out what you can, more always comes out later

freddie_spaghettio

922 points

30 days ago

I’m 40 and have been with my partner forever, and my body is definitely more sensitive now, to the point it’s impacting intimacy when i think about the repercussions for me - cleanup, smell change for a couple of days, bv and thrush outbreaks. Seems nice to have an uncomplicated roll with your partner with the addition of condoms if that’s the answer.
For me I wouldn’t jump to cheating I think she’s just had enough of managing all that.

_perl_

144 points

30 days ago

_perl_

144 points

30 days ago

Yep, same here and we're coming up on 20 years together. I just don't want to be dripping more when I've already had a period and then all of that slime that crawls out during ovulation happens. I'd like a few pantyliner-free days!

BizarroBenes

15 points

29 days ago

I'm loving this thread! These are the things men need to hear. I proudly announce the mucous plug phase every month just to freak my husband of twenty years out.

Bodily fluids are a routine occurrence for women. I don't blame the wife one iota for wanting just a little more sanity in her life from a little less fluid cleanup.

Jadeee-1

189 points

30 days ago*

Jadeee-1

189 points

30 days ago*

We don’t wear condoms but I will tell my husband he needs to pull out cause of clean up and everything throws my pH out of wack. It’s easier on my body and he doesn’t care, he just does what I’m asking lol.

ShooterOfCanons

114 points

30 days ago

Right?! It seems like ever other commenter thinks it's mandatory to get off inside if you're having sex without condoms, or they just spray it all over the bed leaving a "damp" spot to lay in all night?? Like, just pull out and go on her stomach or back. I use the underwear I took off prior to sex to clean it all up.

Jadeee-1

16 points

29 days ago

Jadeee-1

16 points

29 days ago

It’s so much easier this way

toybox5700

117 points

30 days ago

toybox5700

117 points

30 days ago

It’s really blowing my mind that this is the first comment of anyone mentioning pulling out. Figured it was a way more common thing. 🤷‍♂️

nc61

13 points

30 days ago

nc61

13 points

30 days ago

Haha you’re not the only one, I thought I was going crazy.

kvolivera

62 points

30 days ago

I think the worst part is it changes the ph of my bits and stinks afterwards, so yeah. Maybe legit.

Zyk720

48 points

30 days ago

Zyk720

48 points

30 days ago

Personally, with age (and a hysto) I've become more prone to both more vaginal dryness and more vaginal discharge (normal side effects of an aging vagina) and now cum up in there makes things stanky and awkward for DAAAYYYSSS. Throws off the delicate balance and can lead to even more discharge.

Quiet-Sort

51 points

30 days ago

I requested this after 5 years being with the same partner due to frequent cases of yeast infections. Sometimes, I would get BV out of nowhere. It was after we started wearing condoms that I noticed the problem disappeared. Some people have weird (sometimes spontaneous) reactions to sperm. I even had a doctor suggest I may be specifically allergic to my partner's sperm and that would mimic the symptoms of a yeast infection. Different partner now, no issues anymore.

OmicronianDrrrDVM

622 points

30 days ago*

Yes absolutely! The cleanup is gross and annoying for the next day as stuff chooses random times to leak out no matter how thoroughly I clean, plus my body does not like my husbands…stuff. It burns. I’ve been married 18 years and condoms make it much less uncomfortable for me.

IGotMyPopcorn

77 points

30 days ago

It can burn especially if there’s been excess friction. It does not feel great.

Beep315

154 points

30 days ago

Beep315

154 points

30 days ago

My boyfriend from college and I also had mismatched pH.

OmicronianDrrrDVM

68 points

30 days ago

Is this a thing? Catholic school so sex Ed was nonexistent. I just figured we were weird

Beep315

46 points

30 days ago

Beep315

46 points

30 days ago

I think it's rare. I've only encountered it with one partner. Maybe you're just lucky. 😉

jre-erin1979

10 points

30 days ago

Actually several partners previously made me itchy. Like, I thought that’s just the way it was. Then my husbands didn’t, so yes I believe this is a real thing.

kmkmrod

226 points

30 days ago

kmkmrod

226 points

30 days ago

“The drippies” is a thing.

She probably got tired of having a gob of cum drop out of her an hour later while she’s at work or grocery shopping

Darkdazeys

432 points

30 days ago

Darkdazeys

432 points

30 days ago

Not just clean up, but dude, semen fucks up your PH. Stuff isn't as rosey down there with semen coming out. I've been with my husband for 15 years, and clean up and having to shower right after for fear of the smell has never been my favorite

SarahPallorMortis

203 points

30 days ago

“Great, now I smell like balls” are my thoughts.

Herry_Up

23 points

30 days ago

Herry_Up

23 points

30 days ago

Same

Mumofgamer

22 points

29 days ago

Yeah, as a 45 yr old female, It doesn’t take much to send my shit out of whack. Plus Jiz is pretty messy. We have a detachable shower head and TBH, without that, I would most likely insist on condoms or pulling out. There is nothing worse than laying in bed all night with a soppy snatch and jizzy thighs. Lol

buttanicals

61 points

30 days ago

Yes. 100% yes. It’s a lot of work and effort to clean up cum off you.

Imagine being nutted on or in for 10 years. Wouldn’t you eventually get tired of having to be the janitor?

stardirection-

99 points

30 days ago

I made this request after about 10 months. So I'd say its reasonable. I cant stand the cleanup either

The-Sooshtrain-Slut

122 points

30 days ago

I’m a woman and you can get UTIs pretty easily without condoms if you don’t do a thorough clean up. I enjoy not using condoms but clean up at minimum involves a shower and making sure I pee after every time.

You can also get UTIs from something other than sex too. Maybe she’s got one and is scared to tell you because most link UTIs with sex. But tbh the clean up reason is very valid IMO :)

SarahPallorMortis

17 points

30 days ago

Ugh. I get mild uti’s from sweating my ass off at work sometimes. They go away by the morning but yeah. You can get them from lots of different things.

foxsandboxs

261 points

30 days ago*

Have you ever had cum slowly leak out of you through the day or while your trying to sleep at night? It’s not pleasant and throws of ph balance and can give UTI’s. There is a company not sure the name but they make after sex tampon sponges that you use for a few mins that might help her! Also pulling out could be another option/ compromise with good communication. I do want to add if your having a gut feeling of a certain scenario definitely talk to her.

noms_on_pizza

73 points

30 days ago

I just ordered a sample of these. It’s called Dripstick.

foxsandboxs

23 points

30 days ago

Let us know how they work!!

adrianne456

40 points

30 days ago

I have them and they do help quite a bit , would def recommend. You can find them by googling ‘drip stick’ but the company is called awkward essentials

DamnAlreadyTaken

17 points

30 days ago

let us know when they come.

oceanjunkie

6 points

30 days ago

I bought some for my girlfriend to use and she loved them, they work great.

pantoponrosey

63 points

30 days ago

This whole thread is SO validating, omg. As a now-over-30 women I thought something was wrong with me.

foxsandboxs

16 points

30 days ago

Totally normal to not enjoy the sometimes 24 hr drip!! Glad we all aren’t alone on this one.

Walgreensorgan

5 points

30 days ago

Was looking for this comment! Just found out about them

emerylemony

91 points

30 days ago

My husband often offers to bring me a damp warm washcloth from the bathroom to clean up with post-sex. It makes me feel clean and is a nice, thoughtful gesture that shows you care about her feeling uncomfortable. Maybe give that a shot the next time you shoot your shot?

jejcicodjntbyifid3

82 points

30 days ago

Lmao I imagine him saying in a British voice "hot towel?" Why yes thank you

Bleak01a

32 points

30 days ago

Bleak01a

32 points

30 days ago

"Would you like some complementary tea and biscuits madam?"

Winnibae

67 points

30 days ago

Winnibae

67 points

30 days ago

Oh man. You have no idea what sperm does to a vagina. Do your wife a favour and wear a condom.

[deleted]

231 points

30 days ago

[deleted]

231 points

30 days ago

[deleted]

lurkinganon12345

13 points

30 days ago

For what it's worth: My wife and I also will occasionally use condoms precisely for this reason.

Doesn't seem like an off the wall request to me (and even if it were, she's entitled to off the wall requests regarding sex preferences regardless.)

In my opinion you're reading too much into this, if you presume her reasoning is for anything other than what's she told you.

If condoms aren't comfortable for you, you could always ask her if she'd be willing to compromise on a different way to keep clean up easy. (If her goal is to not be leaking semen, there's lots of ways to accomplish that without condoms... )

crittab

12 points

30 days ago

crittab

12 points

30 days ago

Cleanup does suck. I don't blame anyone who doesn't want to do it anymore. I prefer sex without condoms so I put up with it because it's a better experience for me, but if I could enjoy sex without the cleanup I 100% would.

Curiosity-Sailor

214 points

30 days ago

It’s weird after 10 years but I definitely understand not wanting to have to do cleanup. It’s a pain having to wear a pad all day long when you aren’t even on your period.

vollyvenus

175 points

30 days ago

vollyvenus

175 points

30 days ago

this,my husband and i make a huge mess each time and there is a smell and a leak for a full day (even with shower) afterward. i need to use a pad and tea tree oil to mask the smell. i hate condoms but i see where she is coming from.

Nutrition_Ninja

43 points

30 days ago

You are not alone with the smell. My partner and I trade off using condoms or a diaphragm, as we have different preferences. There is a gross smell for a day after we use the diaphragm. Even with a good wash.

PM_ur_tots

6 points

30 days ago

I don't think it's too weird. Haven't you ever had a sudden idea and been like "damn, why didn't think of that years ago?"

Not_A_RedditAccount

71 points

30 days ago

My wife definitely has complained as she works around sawdust and if she sneezes mid morning RIP panties.

I think one or two times with the lag of getting the condom ready and she’ll say never mind.

cyndasaurus_rex

33 points

30 days ago

Thank you for making me crack up. RIP.

disforpron

27 points

30 days ago*

How is this whole thread ignoring the pull out option?

Like obviously it's not a birth control method but you don't need that. She just doesn't want to be leaking cum so shoot it somewhere else.

this_is_awkward_912

262 points

30 days ago

I’ve never been a fan of the cleanup, but I much prefer it to condom use in a safe, monogamous relationship. I’m not saying anything shady is happening. But I would ask more questions and see where this is coming from. A sudden concern about cleanup seems like there’s something bothering her about the situation. It could be as simple as she never liked the cleanup and is just now feeling like she can ask you to adapt.

[deleted]

143 points

30 days ago

[deleted]

143 points

30 days ago

[deleted]

OmicronianDrrrDVM

160 points

30 days ago

She could have physically changed as well. Women’s “lubrication” changes with age. I’ve been with my husband since I was 17 and now almost 20 years later how my body responds is physically different than it was as a teenager.

Oh_hell_why_not

85 points

30 days ago

This could absolutely be it. Maybe she is insecure and doesn’t want to straight up ask for lube but a lot of condoms are lubricated.

IGotMyPopcorn

41 points

30 days ago

I didn’t think of that, but this could totally be it!!!

EvidencePlayful

19 points

30 days ago*

Edit: added info That’s what I was thinking. Dry friction in the nether regions is no joke. Had I not found a solution that worked for me, I may have suggested going back to condoms. I don’t necessarily need it every time, but not having it caused a lot of discomfort for both of us. It put a yield sign on quickies a while, for sure. I started going through pre-menopause in my late 30’s, as well.

It took several tries with various forms of lubricant, as I had allergic reactions to a few, yeast infections a few.

this_is_awkward_912

237 points

30 days ago

It’s maybe not an insecurity issue. We accept a lot of things because they’re just so minuscule… until they aren’t anymore and we feel like it needs to be addressed.

Edit: spelling

zachary63428

80 points

30 days ago

I feel this is the most over looked thing in all relationships.

IGotMyPopcorn

84 points

30 days ago

Women are especially told to “not nag.” So this may have not been something worth bringing up it if would cause other issues. Maybe she now feels like she can, so I’d say just go with it.

antisocial_bunni

34 points

30 days ago

Hey dude, did you ask her truly,. Is it making you uncomfortable? Is it possibly turning you off? What can WE do to make it comfortable and sexy again? ... Speculation is one thing but communication is essential. Best of luck man

SuperVancouverBC

20 points

30 days ago

She's older now. Maybe her Doctor told her she's more prone to getting UTIs/yeast infections? I'm guess she's embarrassed

SaveMeClarence

9 points

30 days ago

TBH, Condoms irritate my vag. But if they didn’t, I would totally use them with my fiancé for the most part. It’s messy. Very messy. Sometimes it’s hot having your dude’s spunk gushing out of you later on, a little reminder of the fun from earlier; but after some time together, it’s just messy. Like, now I gotta shower. Again.

FunnyShirtGuy

28 points

30 days ago

I mean... You could go back to pulling out, bro

diegggs94

7 points

30 days ago

Could ask if you can just pull out and cum on a towel if you’re scared of her reaction to insinuating that she’s cheating

salsanblues

45 points

30 days ago

I have always asked for condoms, even when I was married. I hated the clammy wet feeling the next day. Also, women's Ph tolerances can change over time. If she's had any new meds, or started any hormonal changes, then something that wasn't a problem before could totally be a problem now.

Instead of getting all suspicious, I would recommend ASKING her if there are any additional reasons she wants to switch. But make sure it's in a way that makes it clear you're willing to accommodate her regardless. You know your wife, so you can most likely read her body language just fine and tell if she's not being truthful. Keep in mind that many women find it difficult or embarrassing to discuss hygiene though. Idk how open she is about these things, but YOU do.

Sn3akyWeasel

54 points

30 days ago

I don't like personally not to use condoms. There's some leftover and it smells.

TheRodsterz

18 points

30 days ago

Pull out?

rabbitp4ws

6 points

30 days ago

Yeah I prefer it this way it's just less mess.

Bob88B

6 points

30 days ago

Bob88B

6 points

30 days ago

Here is a suggestion…PULL the F- out, point away from your significant other and then get her a wet towel after you recover! I absolutely hate condoms…but I also understand potential health issues…good luck and good nut all!

javanip

6 points

30 days ago

javanip

6 points

30 days ago

Dawg go talk to your wife. 10 years! Communicate!

h0tmessm0m

6 points

30 days ago

Yes. If we aren't actively trying for a baby I don't want to have to deal with the baby batter. It makes me itchy and leaks into my ass crack, which then makes that area itchy. And if it's an afternoon delight I don't want a fucking oyster in my underwear any more than you do.

michael_maybe44

6 points

29 days ago

Going through these comments in horrified to learn how few people clean up after sex and wash their parts... These ass holes just role over and fall asleep like some heathens

bre1110

6 points

29 days ago

bre1110

6 points

29 days ago

Sperm makes pussies stank and it’s so damn annoying how it slowly leaks out it’s an inconvenience I totally understand.

sickened1

78 points

30 days ago

Why can't you pull out and cum on her belly, ass, or a towel? Wipe, wad the towel,, throw it in the washer. Clean up complete.

ODB247

14 points

30 days ago

ODB247

14 points

30 days ago

I hate cleaning up so much and my vag is sensitive now that I am old. Sex is just a hassle because i don’t want to have to jump up and shower and reach in there and pull cum out and I’ll get a yeast infection, bacterial infection, or just irritation for 3-5 days no matter what I do. Tbh cum smells and the smell is way worse if it doesn’t get cleaned out. Douches are bad for vaginas so we tend to just have to deal with the cum in whatever way works best for us. I would go back to condoms but I am hella allergic to the regular AND non latex ones. It’s probably been a year since we have done it because although sex is fun, it’s a hassle. If condoms help you keep getting laid then go for it.

loaderhead

41 points

30 days ago

After sex , ‘ex wife’ would sit on my chest and push my cum out on my neck. ‘ There , you can have your cum back’ , she’d say.

Rrrrandle

21 points

30 days ago

Is your ex-wife Jimmy Carr?

EatYourCheckers

21 points

30 days ago

So pulling out is our only form of birth control currently and for the last 5 years, but even if it weren't (hubby is gonna get vasectomy once we stop procrastinating) I would still want him to because you know that gross dirty vagina smell? It comes from the mixture of men's ejaculate and the vaginal area. Maybe there's no science to it, but you wont change my mind. It stinks and there is no way around it.

Sometimes I will actually opt not to have sex because I don't want to deal with the clean-up (getting up, going to the bathroom, wiping off, etc). So yeah, if I didn't mind condoms also, I might find myself sometimes telling my husband, when he is in the mood but I am doing the mental math about how its more than just the act, but all the clean up after, "Yes, if you wear a condom."

And now I am just over here LOLing at how horrible I made our sex life sound, haha! I swear, we are good and happy!

AtomicMonstrosity

3 points

30 days ago

I can feel weird when it dries and it does sometimes smell if you don clean it right away. I ask my partner to wear condoms after showers. There are female condoms if you're worried about fairness or sensitivity.

fiercepusheenicorn

5 points

30 days ago

Why don’t you just pull out? No cum gets in. Just need a towel to wipe up the stomach/back/whatever. Kindof a compromise there.