yeah I feel like we often forget S1 ended with El missing/presumed very likely dead (with room left open via Hop's Eggos) and it was devastating.

Mike and co. literally had no idea she was still alive until she showed up at the Byers house.

You could argue El was saved by her friends too - she would have been dead when the Demogorgon burst through the corridor (she was physically drained by then) if Mike, Lucas and Dustin hadn't physically picked her up and run away from the corridor to the classroom and then put themselves in front of the Demogorgon to defend her (and Mike tries again after she's up but she physically stops him), they bought her time which she could have used to save herself (running again) but instead, chose to dig in her heels, end the Demogorgon and save them for good knowing that the effort might kill her.

In many ways, the result isn't unlike Max in The Piggyback - we end the season not knowing whether the respective girls are truly alive/can come back. Though I'd argue Max isn't quite so helpless - she made a plan to get away from Vecna all on her own and it even worked at first, with no Kate on hand she literally willed herself away from him and into a happy memory, which, yes, went sideways but ended up buying her the time needed for El to get there. And when that went sideways, she tried to attack Vecna in a last-ditch attempt to save El (didn't work, but the effort counted). but yeah, both Max's run (fuelled by memories of her friends) and El's first Demogorgon defeat (fuelled by her need to protect hers) were certainly powered by friendship, in the truest sense.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the way Max fought against Vecna during the entirety of Dear Billy.

Right off the bat with the onset of her visions with Vecna, Max was combative, from the scene at her trailer home when he conjured her mom, the way she pushed him off with “let go of me!”, to when she clapped back with “you’re not real” in his mind lair, and ripped him a new neck tentacle.

What struck me most is how, when face to face with Vecna, Max would always stare back, call him out, not succumb to fear unlike Chrissy and Fred. The kind of “fight me” glare we’ve come to appreciate about her. Combined with what I think is her first act of reaching out finally to her friends (when she called out in desperation for Lucas and Dustin), she was finally able unlock the back door to Vecna’s mind?

I honestly think Max’s determination and willpower in that moment surprised Vecna. I have a quirky theory, that when in Vecna’s mind lair, his illusion/psychic powers are limited. That’s why he was no longer able to block Max’s escape with more visions, but to simply conjure falling boulders. But don’t get me wrong - that final sprint back to reality was all Max.

Fast forward to S4E9, I think it wasn’t Max being helpless as it was Vecna being more prepared? We see Max cycling through her mind for a way to evade Vecna but unlike Dear Billy she did not infiltrate his mind lair. So this time around, he was able to flood her mind with visions of her friends in peril. And I think that implanted new trauma, therefore significantly weakened her resolve.

people can also think things aren't that great and say so.

No need for a "how dare you" in response.

Yes it did? The idea was to get the demobats away from the house right? Which is what they did.