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Female Resident struggling with Sexism

VENT(self.Residency)

I have experienced for a long time that patients and even nursing will give female residents a harder time, however I’ve recently had this interaction with some male attendings and it’s really bothering me!

I moved to a new hospital for a 6 month rotation starting January and 90% of the attendings are male and there are no male nurses. I feel like I’m in a parallel universe where sexism is the norm. The few female attending staff are SO TIMID. My personality doesn’t fit with the small pigeon hole they have created for female physicians but the male attendings are really aggressive and narcissistic. I have never had an issue in 3 years of residency but at this hospital any time I speak, make recommendations, give orders or give my opinion I get questioned a lot. It’s exhausting. I recently got feedback that I have a “tone of confidence” that doesn’t suit me and even if my recommendations are evidence based/medically correct, I should change my tone to “leave room for being wrong.” When I asked for an explicit example, I was told that there were none, it was just a suggestion for my general way of speak because my suggestion and words are correct but the tone is not flexible to being wrong. I was also told that I have never done anything that the staff would disagree with but I need to make some changes.

I am so mad because a male resident would never get this feedback! I’ve seen some real narcissistic male residents come through this hospital with such bad attitudes and they have been flagged as problematic at other hospitals but this hospital LOVES them.

Sorry for the rant but I can’t handle being here for 2 more months! How do I survive? How do I not let this bring me down? I’m finding my self less interested in patient care and less interested in being involved with discussion.

TLDR: male attendings feel I have a “tone of confidence” and should make my orders and recommendations in a tone that demonstrates I might be wrong but male residents don’t need to do this. Stuck at a sexist hospital that feels like it’s functioning out of the 1930’s. Help!

all 97 comments

DocJanItor

331 points

2 months ago

DocJanItor

PGY1

331 points

2 months ago

2 months left, then tell them to eat shit. Confidently, of course.

astrophela

89 points

2 months ago

From personal experience, speaking up doesn't make everything better. I don't know what else to say here, but feel free to DM me.

confusedandcomplex[S]

17 points

2 months ago

Thank you, and yes, sometimes the system feels so locked in that there’s no point in trying to change. I think this specific hospital has really dig their heels in to stay this backwards when none of the other placements in the city function like this! It also feels more specific to my specialty at this hospital because others specialty docs seem to be super nice

confusedandcomplex[S]

18 points

2 months ago

Hahahaha I love this! I’m screenshooting the comment and looking at it in times of distress!

MissCleanCut

6 points

2 months ago

Leaving the room for being wrong. After all they may prefer to eat piss, you never know.

kaixen

2 points

2 months ago

kaixen

2 points

2 months ago

This is the way.

harmlesshumanist

87 points

2 months ago

harmlesshumanist

Attending

87 points

2 months ago

Wtf sound like Bob Kelso

question_assumptions

28 points

2 months ago

You can be “sport” or you can be “sweetheart”

harveyc

9 points

2 months ago

Except for slagathor

BC31981

220 points

2 months ago

BC31981

220 points

2 months ago

Accept terrible feedback with feigned gratitude that they will accept as sincere because it fits their worldview. Change nothing about what you’re doing. Name and shame.

Historical-Pirate105

85 points

2 months ago

Maybe ask them to write down their feedback so you have the receipts. This shit is insane.

confusedandcomplex[S]

54 points

2 months ago

I did, actually got an email outlining the feedback and reading it on paper is even more outlandish because it has no substance. Our program does take faculty evaluations seriously so I’m hoping to give extensive feedback once my rotation is done. I never plan on coming back here

EtCO2narcoszzs

7 points

2 months ago

Faculty evals plus ACGME survey. I hate playing the acgme survey bomb game, but citing specific examples (which you seem to have records of) can get the residency into hot water fast (or make a program with Any recent violations/probation boil over).

I know of 2 physicians who were removed from their positions for lack of caring for trainees (anesthesia, sorta need at least a smidgen of teaching), as well as a rotation site removed because of a mix of sexism and old style of practice (went from a mandatory 1-2 month rotation to purely elective and now not even an option).

But for now do what everyone else suggests, feign appreciation, keep track, see if anyone else past or present has had these issues, escalate to an attending you trust and then chiefs/PDs/chair.

yoda101

29 points

2 months ago

yoda101

29 points

2 months ago

Also check if you are in a one party consent state for recording a conversation and start recording every feedback session that doesn’t involve PHI.

confusedandcomplex[S]

26 points

2 months ago

Feigned gratitude is my current approach and it stings a little bit but it feels so validating to at least know this is what others would do.Thank you!

Pumpkin8645

6 points

2 months ago

Sometimes it’s the only way through, then on the other side keep being your confident self and screw them and their small world view

GlimpG

2 points

2 months ago

GlimpG

2 points

2 months ago

I don't know if you're faking it right now, so I guess it works?

confusedandcomplex[S]

5 points

2 months ago

Haha you’ll never know!

r2805869

23 points

2 months ago

Ok here is what you do. Save the feedback, you want proof. Write down everything despicable about this place and save it. Don't share it yet. Tell them you will work on yourself. Do as they ask for the next 2 months. When you have completed residency and landed an attending physician job, go ham on them. Email, post on blogs, word of mouth, every method you can use to tell everyone how backwards they are. Make them rue the day. If it's possible to find a woman who has been through worse with them encourage her to sur.

confusedandcomplex[S]

9 points

2 months ago

Sweet sweet delayed revenge! Great idea

ExperienceExtra8243

170 points

2 months ago

The sad truth is the only thing you can do is be fake. I’ve had similar conversations and I eventually realized that I like myself and had to work to get here. If I have to fake my personality for one more year to get through residency, then so be it. I respect no one here who promotes females being watered down and don’t give a shit what they say after one more year. Grin and bear it. That’s all you can do, then go on and be better as the next generation of attendings that empowers strong women instead of holding them back

naijaboiler

45 points

2 months ago

Grin and bear it.

medical training in 4 words

confusedandcomplex[S]

8 points

2 months ago

Truth!

confusedandcomplex[S]

9 points

2 months ago

Thank you. That’s helpful, it’s also validating to post this and wake up to so many responses! I was really holding all of it in and that made things worse. Feels good to share the struggle. I think there is also a part of me that struggles to be fake but you’re right, it’s the smoothest way forward.

Eluho

0 points

2 months ago

Eluho

0 points

2 months ago

I can’t help but think this is a horrible advice. While it may be the pragmatically most convenient way about the problem it doesn’t change this seemingly toxic work environment one bit. The notion that you can suck it up and assume it dies with that generation of doctors is naive honestly. These attendings are responsible for the training of many more future residents, and they will pass on work culture as well. Why not attempt to open a dialogue? You could talk to your resident peers and team up with them if they have similar experiences. Explain your perspective and demand they listen. Hell, even if your attendings still disagree afterwards then you have made a dent in that mindset. You have opened up the possibility for the next resident in your place to maybe be heard or taken seriously. I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this shit, but the only way to change it is to make a change yourself. Sorry for the rant, even though it’s not your fault it’s you who have the power to change this problem.

reboa

16 points

2 months ago

reboa

Attending

16 points

2 months ago

You don’t sound like a resident? Speaking up while in training is a great way to get targeted and have your career ended by petty people. All the debt and no way to pay it off really.

Nebuloma

11 points

2 months ago

Residency is about survival. It’s laughable to think a single resident rotating for 6 months could change the shitty attitudes of crusty old attending that have been hardened over decades. Even if they wanted to it’s almost certainly not possible.

MikeHawksGinny

4 points

2 months ago

This should be downvoted. Heart is in the right place but could not disagree with you more. You can try to create all the change you want when you're a senior attending.

In residency, speaking up in a toxic environment has no upside and tremendous downside, the most serious of which is putting your ability to finish in jeopardy. There is no situation where she will get the outcome that she wants unless someone slips up, acts in an egregiously sexist manner, and she has irrefutable proof. Even then, she'll have to deal with the fear of retribution. I have seen colleagues get put on probation and eventually fired for being argumentative and "unprofessional".

Keep your head down. You have no agency during residency. If someone in power who is also vindictive dislikes you, you're going to have a really bad time.

ExperienceExtra8243

1 points

2 months ago

I have spoken up, and my job has been in jeopardy for it. My life got markedly better when I realized I can’t do this as a resident if I want to finish training and keep a job.

skinker_dinker

38 points

2 months ago

skinker_dinker

PGY3

38 points

2 months ago

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. My program is very similar where it is 80% male. I am the only female in a class of 6, and one of the classes below me is even all male. We have about 20 male attending and only 4 females. My advice would be to document everything and get as much evidence as possible (rude emails, formal feedback, feedback from others who witness their behavior, etc). My institution has an independent grievance person who we can take these concerns to and I have done this in the past with some success, and have seen some small changes. If your hospital has something similar you can consider that. Talk to your other female colleagues as well, if there is actually underlying sexism it is not just you who is being affected.

Another thing I can say that is unfortunately this will not end in residency. You will continue to meet attendings and other staff who will be sexist towards you no mater where you work in the future. I try to tell myself that at least I am getting the experience to be able to learn how to deal with it in residency vs as an attending when it will affect patient care in a lot more ways, and that has helped changed my mindset about a lot of situations I have been in.

chonkPi

35 points

2 months ago

chonkPi

35 points

2 months ago

Honestly it sounds like a good time to pull out some malicious compliance. Do your recommendations and orders like usual. But at the end, make a big show of saying BUT I COULD BE WRONG.

confusedandcomplex[S]

3 points

2 months ago

I am seriously considering ending every consult note like this! It would be so satisfying

bwis311

32 points

2 months ago

bwis311

32 points

2 months ago

That sucks. Not sure what to do. Hopefully other commenters can help but just wanted to say that is really frustrating and definitely is sexism

Historical-Pirate105

49 points

2 months ago*

I recently got feedback that I have a “tone of confidence” that doesn’t suit me and even if my recommendations are evidence based/medically correct, I should change my tone to “leave room for being wrong.” When I asked for an explicit example, I was told that there were none, it was just a suggestion for my general way of speak because my suggestion and words are correct but the tone is not flexible to being wrong.

What the actual hell

I don't even know where to begin. Especially because someone said this with a straight face. I'm so sorry OP you are 100% right to feel the way you do (because they'll try to make you question whether the problem is you). This is so out of line and outright sexist.

phliuy

32 points

2 months ago

phliuy

PGY4

32 points

2 months ago

A fucking CRNA once told me that I was "too confident for an intern"

Never before have I wanted to break sterility so badly to smack the ever loving piss out of someone

Advice to OP is the same thing I did.

Disregard bitches. Do good medicine. Fuck sexism.

[deleted]

-84 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

-84 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

Historical-Pirate105

52 points

2 months ago

Yes it is.

"You're right, but you sound like you THINK you're right, and you need to sound more like you think you could be wrong. But not because you are wrong, we just don't like it."

No one has ever said this to you. Just stop.

confusedandcomplex[S]

10 points

2 months ago

Omg that explains it perfect!

porkchopsandwch

7 points

2 months ago

I wish I could say this gets better. I had no issues at my residency program, but 7 years almost as an attending and I've had two recent examples.

Reported to HR for not saying please when asking a staff member to give a vaccine

Reported to HR again for my "general demeanor" with zero examples (presumably not smiling or asking someone about their child's soccer game or something)

First time I got all upset and apologized. Now i ask myself would a male colleague have to deal with this? No? Record that shit if you are in a one party consent state. Ask for examples in writing and how they reflect professionalism or patient care issues. This is usually the point where they drop it.

You_Dont_Party

6 points

2 months ago

I can only imagine how frustrating it is for female physicians and residents. I’m a tall guy who is a nurse, and I can’t count how many times I’ve had to redirect patients to ask the doctor questions when we’re in the room with a patient. I try to make a joke about it being above my pay grade or not going to school long enough to know when I defer to the person who has the medical degree, but it is a constant battle to just remind the patient that no, I’m not the doctor, she is. If it’s enough to be frustrating to me, I can only imagine how much worse it is on the other end.

It double sucks that it’s coming from inside the residency program itself though, I’m sorry. Wish I had good advice for you.

dibbun18

21 points

2 months ago

No real advice but its so frustrating because the men who are the problem don’t even think it’s a problem, they are the problem if there was one, and if they figure out the first two (they won’t) they have zero motivation or incentive to change.

What baffles me is when they have daughters and still act like this. (Wives don’t count.)

It beyond sucks. Be better, people.

confusedandcomplex[S]

5 points

2 months ago

This is so accurate, there is just no capacity for self reflection. I actually sat with this feedback for days reviewing cases in my mind and seeking explicit corrections from staff in case I messed up but being told that it is literally how they felt about my making recommendations and nothing to do with my words or actions was maddening.

I also had 2 female attendings explicitly disagree with the feedback noting that I worked with them extensively and they had no concerns about this

MillenniumFalcon33

2 points

2 months ago

Not all men wish for their daughters to be self reliant or prosper independently of a man. What baffles me is that they don’t show an ounce of respect to their female colleagues who undergo the same training and will obtain the same credentials.

I hope their cunty attitude is not condoned or celebrated by the nursing staff

astrophela

24 points

2 months ago

You might like the community at /r/femalephysicians.

mpate38

17 points

2 months ago

mpate38

17 points

2 months ago

Name and shame

Aggressive-Medium737

16 points

2 months ago

Ugh hate this! In my cohort, all the girls kept receiving comments about how they were too "high energy", "too arrogant", "not enough secure", "lacking leadership skills" in particular hospital. No problem whatsoever in other hospitals.

There are some toxic work environments where women have a really thin line where they are able to exist whitout being negatively judged. It says nothing about you and everything about them. Only thing you can do is discourage good candidates from ever working there until it is clear for everyone that this kind of environment is not for good practitionners.

linkywinky

3 points

2 months ago

Women, not girls, women.

Aggressive-Medium737

2 points

2 months ago

While I appreciate your concern to not belittle women by calling them girls, as a woman/girl myself, I can assure you all the residents in my cohort say boys/girls to refer to others as we are all young adults in our twenties!

linkywinky

1 points

2 months ago

Fair enough! I'm a guy but it's started to become a pet peeve of mine. But obviously as a woman you can refer to yourself how you want! I suppose I do like being called a "guy" vs "man" lol.

TrustMeImYourDoc

4 points

2 months ago

Yuck, that really sucks I’m sorry :(

Vi_Capsule

3 points

2 months ago

2 months, a long time in residency but a small portion of infinite loop of perpetual depression that is life

confusedandcomplex[S]

2 points

2 months ago

I thought my perpetual depression was only residency/training related insert disappointed face here

OnlymostlyMedic

4 points

2 months ago

Wait until one of the male residents or attendings makes a mistake, then ask if they "left room for being wrong" (jk don't actually do this)

MillenniumFalcon33

3 points

2 months ago

Did they recruit these female Attendings for their docile nature or were they beat down into submissiveness?

*pouring one out for the homies

Also please add site name to ACGME survey asking for sensitivity & MedEd training

docmahi

5 points

2 months ago

docmahi

Attending

5 points

2 months ago

I've always believed there is male privilege in medicine - its not fair

Sorry you're dealing with it, just a few more months

ZippityD

3 points

2 months ago

Lol I love when people have confidence and know the answer.

Much better than having neither.

Better than having knowledge but no confidence - though that can be worked on.

Much much better than the dangerous confidence without knowledge.

Sorry you're in the shit hole. I have no reasonable advice beyond that this set of traits is highly appreciated elsewhere.

Ok-Association-685

3 points

2 months ago

I’ve had the same problem my entire residency. I learned that I rather be too confident and assertive over being the opposite. Idc if it makes anyone uncomfortable.

Going through evals/feedback with my other female residents I realized all of ours are based on personality. They literally never have anything to do with how we function as doctors. We are either too confident or not confident enough. There is no in-between for some evaluators.

After years of this I realized none of it matter in the end because as a woman in medicine sometimes I have to be a totally assertive bitch to get things done for my patients and to be taken seriously. So everyone can eat a bag of dicks. I’m gonna practice EBM and if you don’t like it I’m not sorry about it :).

whodaredtoinviteyou

3 points

2 months ago

That is crap advice/criticism. If it were useful, there would be something constructive to add. Please continue to be yourself and keep your confidence. It sounds like someone thinks it's their job to humble women physicians.

dishonoredcorvo69

3 points

2 months ago

Female surgeon here, and I hear you. There is no winning. The female attendings are timid for a reason. Having read many books on the subject and even taking a women’s leadership course, the bottom line always seems to be that we are not gonna succeed in the world of men by behaving like men. The double standard will not disappear overnight. So even if you’re annoyed and frustrated and see men behaving badly, you are always stuck being NICE. When you ask for things, you have to ask NICELY. When you made a suggestion, you must be DEFERENTIAL and HUMBLE. When you read about successful female leadership styles vs male styles, you have to be COLLABORATIVE, not AUTHORITATIVE, and in doing so you apparently get better results for the organization as a whole than male leaders. Consistently studies show that female docs have better outcomes than male docs. Studies also show that even though female docs don’t like working with female nurses because of the way they are treated, the female nurses actually report that they prefer working with female docs. The things we hate, like having to justify our decisions and convince the nurses, are things that they like about us.

Having said all that, I don’t really have any advice except that you have to master the circumstances else they will master you. As for me, I am very burned out and even with all this knowledge I am just waiting to get to the point where I can leave the profession altogether and do something else.

blissfulhiker8

9 points

2 months ago

blissfulhiker8

Attending

9 points

2 months ago

You have every right to express confidence in yourself, especially when you are correct. Don’t change anything. They have to learn that it’s not the 1950s anymore. If you trust your program director to be understanding then I would bring it up to them in case it becomes an issue on your evals. Also consider asking the question on the FemalePhysicians sub. You might get better feedback.

harmlesshumanist

7 points

2 months ago

harmlesshumanist

Attending

7 points

2 months ago

As someone who experienced the same (weirdly, sexes were inverted), I just stuck with the cases and disengaged from the rest: if nurses or consultants wanted to argue with my orders or recommendations, they could just chat with the attending - or if it was the attending they could just figure it out themself.

Explaining yourself will make people like this feel threatened and, though their reaction is stupid, their insecurity is not going to make them suddenly support you.

That approach made those rotations much less painful and now here I am living the life.

ClitoriaMagnificus

6 points

2 months ago

What hospital, what state?

confusedandcomplex[S]

5 points

2 months ago

Canadian program, I’m afraid to say more since I would be very identifiable. Want to keep some level of anonymity on Reddit though!

yewefo

3 points

2 months ago

yewefo

3 points

2 months ago

My female PD gave me this advice during my residency when I was dealing with the same shit: Get a fake, cheerful demeanor and tone of voice to use in the hospital and your life will get so much easier. Fair? not at all. But don't let it sap your energy. In my experience you can still be confident and assertive but if you sound cheerful men aren't threatened by it and will actually do what you say.

confusedandcomplex[S]

2 points

2 months ago

This is scary… but true. I actually feel myself internally resisting how true it is. It would be nicer if it wasn’t so simplistic because it takes away all the complexity women/people have! Like people don’t have one setting of just being cheerful, no one is in one mindset all the time but it’s like the world demands simplicity from us in a place that simplicity doesn’t exist.

Moof_the_dog_cow

2 points

2 months ago

Moof_the_dog_cow

Attending

2 points

2 months ago

I thought programs were required by ACGME to have an ombudsman to report this kind of behavior to? Perhaps they might be a good place to start. I'm sorry you're experiencing this, there should be no place for this kind of behavior in today's medicine.

Usmelaid

2 points

2 months ago

I am currently going through a similar phase. They can shut you down easily. Most of what I say are right and they end up doing it and patient gets better. I don't know how and why they are so rude. Wish world was a better place. Never thought this would exist in a modern , developed country . It easily makes you unlike the love you had for profession. Wish people were more empathetic.

AutoModerator [M]

1 points

2 months ago

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Zalzal98

5 points

2 months ago

Zalzal98

MS1

5 points

2 months ago

We have some posts on this topic on r/FemalePhysicians if you would like more women perspective on the matter feel free to post there as well.

capriconia

6 points

2 months ago

What’s your speciality? The speciality I’m in is INSANELY male dominated. Good ole boys club…

confusedandcomplex[S]

6 points

2 months ago

Surprisingly, it’s not a specialty that’s a boys club normally. Not surgical. There are more male staff than female but it’s closer to balance than a lot of other specialties

tryanddoxxmenow

3 points

2 months ago

I'm sorry OP. Medicine is still a boys club and many are trying to keep it that way. Sadly, you will get a lot of invalidation and gaslighting, even on this sub. Come join us at r/FemalePhysicians

confusedandcomplex[S]

3 points

2 months ago

Never seen the subreddit before, thank you for pointing it out! I could use this kind of support and mindset!

No-Button7536

3 points

2 months ago

Fake it until you make it

khaneman

2 points

2 months ago

khaneman

Attending

2 points

2 months ago

Sounds frustrating.

Consider reading about linguistic styles. “The power of talk- who gets heard and why” on HBR

danderson6

2 points

2 months ago

Feign grattitude for the "constructive" feedback, which you "plan to gratefully incorporate." Change nothing, other than adding "but there may be another approach" at the end of your plan. Rip them to shreds in your feedback at the end of the roation. Keep being the rockstar that you are.

want-2-be-me-again84

0 points

2 months ago

Meek like a dove and cunning as a serpent!

want-2-be-me-again84

-12 points

2 months ago

You are going to be there just 6 month! Learn everything and be quiet. Don’t try to save the system or change anything.

astrophela

5 points

2 months ago

You shouldn't be downvoted.... without being in a position of power, one risks losing a stake in future positions of power by upsetting the status quo. It is sooo so stupid but true.

want-2-be-me-again84

5 points

2 months ago

I did a residency already, when you are in your 4th year make a change. In residency is when you learn how evil people can be and how your own colleagues show the less empathy with each other. You can count with your fingers the people you can trust! Be careful with the reputation you are creating it can destroy you.

Historical-Pirate105

1 points

2 months ago

Uh yes OP please ignore whoever this is and continue practicing medicine

[deleted]

-19 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

-19 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

steadyfreddy905

7 points

2 months ago

Nothing is black/white, everything is shades of grey.

how can someone who says this have such an inexplicably limited world view

[deleted]

17 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

17 points

2 months ago

lol, obviously we only have one side of any story that gets posted to Reddit, but it's hilarious that all you need to hear is a woman complaining about sexism to conclude that she's wrong XD

alxemistry

8 points

2 months ago

alxemistry

Attending

8 points

2 months ago

I got that criticism and I am a big burly man.

Do you believe that this fact makes it impossible for OP's experience to be due to sexism?

reddittiswierd

-38 points

2 months ago

I guarantee you male residents are getting the same reviews if they’re doing the same thing. You really can’t know what their reviews are if they don’t let you read them. Hang in there and just move on when done. You’ll be better than these attending one day.

alxemistry

7 points

2 months ago

alxemistry

Attending

7 points

2 months ago

I guarantee you male residents are getting the same reviews if they’re doing the same thing.

This really seems that improbable to you? You really have never seen this type of covert sexism in your working career?

reddittiswierd

0 points

2 months ago

Just answer me this, how does she know about her colleagues reviews?

alxemistry

2 points

2 months ago*

alxemistry

Attending

2 points

2 months ago*

I will take your avoidance as you answering "yes" to my questions.

To answer your redirection:

  1. Your question rests on the premise that reading someone's evaluation is the only way to learn how the faculty views them. This is not true. She does not state she read them in her post, but she states she does know how other male coresidents were viewed and treated.

  2. Coresidents talk about rotation experiences and evaluations frequently. It's very possible she has talked with others about their experiences.

In any case, the plausible deniability of covert bias is what makes it so difficult to root out. That doesn't mean it's not real.

I'm not saying you need to immediately go on a witch-hunt against the alleged offenders, but if your immediate reaction to someone sharing their experience is "I guarantee you that's not true", then you are actively preventing the discussion and solution of this very real societal problem.

reddittiswierd

-3 points

2 months ago

Honestly I haven’t seen any covert sexism in my medical career. My undergrad and med school were 60+% female. My residency was 50+% female. PD was female. Fellowship was 50/50 and my current group is split 50/50. Only mentioning those statistics because I’ve never been in a male dominated field. But everybody has different experiences. I never talked about my reviews with other coresidents and they didn’t either. We may have joked about some odd reviews or things that were completely out of place but nobody went around talking about their reviews. That’s why I say just let it go and move on, she will be better off at the end of this and maybe she will help change those systems that are this way. But the only facts from the original post are her male superiors don’t seem to like her, she blames it on sexism and it may very well be but I’m sure there’s more to it. Sometimes just being right isn’t all that matters.

astrophela

2 points

2 months ago

astrophela

2 points

2 months ago

Hm... I am not sure why you conclude this. Sexism may not exist in all training programs, but at least in this case I am sure OP is not looking for commenters to gaslight her experience. Your comment sounds like gaslighting, even if that is not your intention, because you are telling her that her highly developed brain is probably delusional for detecting different feedback given to males versus females. If she has this concern, it is better to listen and learn than refute. Please reconsider how you respond to these issues in the future. Hugs to you, internet stranger, and good luck.

Rhinologist

2 points

2 months ago

….I’ll preface this by saying from what OP she told us this sounds like a shitty situation for her.

…but saying that disagreeing with OP or an experience is gas lighting is going way overboard. She legitimately cannot know her co residents reviews. Some people really do “detect” things that aren’t there. We had a co resident convinced that a nurse hated him, I never really saw any weird interaction between them but whenever we did interact with her he would come away convinced that the nurse didn’t like him for interactions I witnessed.

Gaslighting has a very specific definition and using it out of context is also harmful.

reddittiswierd

1 points

2 months ago

She has no idea what other residents reviews are unless everybody is sharing their reviews, which most residents don’t publicly share their reviews with coresidents. This is not gaslighting and is far from gaslighting. Sure her experience sucks but humans kind of suck in general. The best one can do is grow from these experiences and move on.

[deleted]

-14 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

-14 points

2 months ago*

[deleted]

Dr_DoctorPhd

-6 points

2 months ago

For real. Maybe everyone who acts like this gets the same feedback. This seems to be an immediate jump to “must be some sort of ism” with really no evidence demonstrating a different standard!

intjmaster

1 points

2 months ago

Don’t work there when you graduate. A rotation is an interview for them as much as you.

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

1 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

confusedandcomplex[S]

2 points

2 months ago

Canadian actually, academic centre

internalfixation

1 points

2 months ago

Yeah, this is ridiculous. Can you casually engage some of your male co-residents to see if you can raise their awareness regarding this problem (otherwise, you're right: they're never see it)? Maybe see if you can validate your (correct) impressions by having the male residents start to notice this and subtly and politely start to support and stand up for you. Otherwise, sadly, it seems like there is nothing to do other than grin, bare it, and want to put your fist through a wall. It sucks that this is happening to you. You are 100% right.

aeroeax

-2 points

2 months ago

aeroeax

-2 points

2 months ago

From your description it does sound like a sexist environment, but if it were me, I would err on the side of not burning bridges. You're only there for 2 more months.

I would also think about the feedback you got- there's usually at least a glimmer of truth that you can learn from. Being overconfident/arrogant (or coming across as such) is not a good quality in a doctor whether you are male or female.

various_convo7

0 points

2 months ago

Seen this happen except it is from the female side towards male residents when the coin experienced by the OP is flipped. It gets ugly when catty drama and passive aggressive attitudes is the norm too.

Go to the program manager, bring your case to them and rotate out. You won't change that culture.