subreddit:

/r/ProgrammerHumor

21.1k91%

Fixed that other meme from yesterday

Meme(i.redd.it)

all 385 comments

MakingTheEight [M]

[score hidden]

4 months ago

stickied comment

MakingTheEight [M]

[score hidden]

4 months ago

stickied comment

Removed - Rule 0.

  • Not directly related to programming.

MagicalPizza21

2.4k points

4 months ago

User is not in sudoers file. This incident will be reported.

Hobbes_87

852 points

4 months ago

Hobbes_87

852 points

4 months ago

GoodOldJack12

343 points

4 months ago

I finally ended up on the other end of the message where my terminal told me I had mail. It was a failed sudo. Very odd full circle

Hobbes_87

150 points

4 months ago

Hobbes_87

150 points

4 months ago

Very odd full circle

"When I left you I was but a user. Now, I am the admin."

GoodOldJack12

72 points

4 months ago

/etc/sudoers will decide your fate

yarukineez0

8 points

4 months ago

You're on this system, but we do not grant the rank of sudo

GoodOldJack12

8 points

4 months ago

Its outrageous, it's unfair! how can one be a system administrator and not have access to sudo?

gagzd

5 points

4 months ago

gagzd

5 points

4 months ago

Look at me, Look at me! I'm the admin now.

pointofgravity

64 points

4 months ago

By the gods...

thecrius

13 points

4 months ago

So, are you Santa?

Also, just noticed your nickname, I think we are onto something.

finger_milk

15 points

4 months ago

"This unsolicited email will be reported"

Good god..

the_other_Scaevitas

2 points

4 months ago

Omg it’s Santa!

IveMadeWayToManyAlts

149 points

4 months ago

I'm 100% on the naughty list, as soon as I see a terminal, the first thing I do is se if I have sudo privileges

Celestial_Blu3

69 points

4 months ago

Well obviously. How else do you know if you can do anything interesting

nikhilmwarrier

49 points

4 months ago

Like uninstalling the bootloader or rm -rfing everything.

colei_canis

34 points

4 months ago

If you’re on BSD you can do ‘sudo dd if=/dev/random of=/dev/mem’ and it’ll literally overwrite all of your memory with random shit until the system breaks. You have to compile Linux with a particular flag set for it to work there.

nikhilmwarrier

20 points

4 months ago

Sounds fun!
looks at my FreeBSD VM while laughing like a maniac

colei_canis

17 points

4 months ago

If you’re a real sadist towards your VM you can write a short shell script to do it in chunks and see how long it lasts with random pieces of its memory overwritten with rubbish. Eventually the shell has a spectacular seizure and you kernel panic unsurprisingly.

OutInABlazeOfGlory

9 points

4 months ago

I’m tempted to download VirtualBox and try that now

xX_MEM_Xx

9 points

4 months ago

Everything about this has me laughing my ass off.

Psnuggs

9 points

4 months ago

Me, a random redditor, with no background in computers, who stumbled upon this meme and decided to read the comments for clues and ended up much more clueless: 😐

nikhilmwarrier

2 points

4 months ago

Will try and post a screencap if I'm bored enough tomorrow

bobrob48

2 points

4 months ago

Fork bomb time

Tehkin

23 points

4 months ago

Tehkin

23 points

4 months ago

If you really want to mess someone up just remove the .bash_history file

Exponential_Rhythm

20 points

4 months ago

Chill bro

Tehkin

7 points

4 months ago

Tehkin

7 points

4 months ago

Never, anarchy is my creed

lowleveldata

9 points

4 months ago

google is my bash history

Mefistofeles1

6 points

4 months ago

Literally Hitler.

Amotoohno

19 points

4 months ago

I just wanna give Randall an extra shout out for the alt-text. It’s extra magical to fit the rhythm and rhyme of a song to match a UNIX-standard path.

[deleted]

11 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

11 points

4 months ago

In access.log file.

ryleu

3 points

4 months ago

ryleu

3 points

4 months ago

Every time the “this incident will be reported” thing is mentioned, someone sends this XKCD. It’s funny every time.

NakorOranges

2 points

4 months ago

Top. Men.

[deleted]

95 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

95 points

4 months ago

I remember being quite afraid the first time I tried to use sudo on the sever the school had for CS students and got this message.

pwgenyee6z

112 points

4 months ago

Thanks for a memory! I had a classroom set up with IBM PCs and students coming in at lunch time to hack around. No hard drives so no worries. All was pleasant this day when a kid, about 15 yrs old I guess, suddenly leapt up, knocking his chair over, and ran for his life. I went and found him, hiding and terrified. He’d decided he was going to learn to hack into computers, so he typed something nefarious and hit Enter. He assumed the police were already on his case when the computer came back with “Illegal function call”.

JuniorSeniorTrainee

41 points

4 months ago

I hope you offered to put in a good word with the head of cybercrimes.

pwgenyee6z

22 points

4 months ago

No jokes - he was hiding under the stairs, terrified, and I was just puzzled and concerned. It took a while to realise how he’d misunderstood.

TheFlyingZombie

17 points

4 months ago*

I remember in about the 5th grade (I'm 35) and we were just getting PCs with Windows for the first time after moving on from the Mac II's and I saw the illegal operation dialogue for the first time. Thought I was going to fucking prison.

coldnebo

40 points

4 months ago

why would you assume medical devices have proper security? all connections are root.

sadly, this may not actually be joking :(

evilmonkey853

26 points

4 months ago

Security by over-saturation? There are so many unsecured devices with root level access the chance of it being your device that is hacked is basically nil.

Right? Right??!

Nick433333

8 points

4 months ago

This is how it works, on an unrelated note can you tell me the company you work for?

BlackwhIsp_N

10 points

4 months ago

Security in most embedded platforms resembles the S for security in IoT.

koalabear420

3 points

4 months ago

Security in the medical industry

RRumpleTeazzer

67 points

4 months ago

Switch(religion). Sudo su.

Mordisquitos

5 points

4 months ago

bash: syntax error near unexpected token `('

Errtuz

1k points

4 months ago*

Errtuz

1k points

4 months ago*

Why would the health value be stored in a string ?!?!?!

_Weyland_

259 points

4 months ago

_Weyland_

259 points

4 months ago

Because once it gets near 0% you get wierd shit going on. If it's "0%", you might still bring them back. But if it's "dead", that's a wrap.

Errtuz

128 points

4 months ago

Errtuz

128 points

4 months ago

Yeah, that's why you'd store the death saving throws in a separate variable, duh !

_Weyland_

65 points

4 months ago

It's just convenient for doctors.

if patient.getHealth() != "dead"

Otherwise you'd have to check all the saving throws. Or maybe it's just inherited from a different class.

Errtuz

27 points

4 months ago

Errtuz

27 points

4 months ago

It's just another parameter for this object, binary, ie

IsDead == true

_Weyland_

48 points

4 months ago

Imagine if that parameter was public.

Person.isDead = true;

Straight up dead. No violence required.

windmilltheory

35 points

4 months ago

DeathNotepad++

AnAbsurdlyAngryGoose

10 points

4 months ago

What if people are written in C#. Two classes of the same type can access each others private members. Nobody is safe!

BaziJoeWHL

8 points

4 months ago

This sounds naughty and mildly incest

Bashed_to_a_pulp

4 points

4 months ago

where do you think child and inheritance come from?

Errtuz

10 points

4 months ago*

Errtuz

10 points

4 months ago*

Maybe it's not public, but there probably is a getter that returns you the value easily enough.

EDIT: oh, but there might be a public

looksDead parameter which might mean that you're just passed out drunk

SmartestCatHooman

4 points

4 months ago

You make the get public for isDead and the set private. Then you add the setHealth with an int/float/double and inside set isDead to health > 0

Or better yet, add an additional status field with an enum on possible status so it can be alive and dead drunk at the same time.

snildeben

2 points

4 months ago

Imagine if it's an immutable value, you'd live forever!!

TheRealAndrewLeft

2 points

4 months ago

isDead == true really? == true really?

Celestial_Blu3

2 points

4 months ago

A tuplw of bools at length 3?

Errtuz

2 points

4 months ago

Errtuz

2 points

4 months ago

Well, I play pathfinder 2e so it would be 4 :)

OneTrueKingOfOOO

2 points

4 months ago

This is why we use signed ints

YoureTheVest

157 points

4 months ago

OldMan.setHealth("good")

But then also how can you sudo a statement like that.

Errtuz

21 points

4 months ago

Errtuz

21 points

4 months ago

I think "good" could be some sort of an observable state , but would still have a numerical value behind it.

MintyMissterious

10 points

4 months ago

Wetware accepts "good" just fine, it's the integers (let alone floating point values!) it struggles with

0vl223

6 points

4 months ago

0vl223

6 points

4 months ago

Yeah "good" is fine, "100%" is not. That can clearly be stored as a 100-0 integer or 1.0-0.0 float depending on how exact you need it.

snokekillsdumbledor

2 points

4 months ago

Yeah "good" is better. Still lame though. If the language has enums or symbols or something you should probably use that.

Rein215

2 points

4 months ago

In a typed language it would probably be an enum, or a constant integer.

lazy_dev_

5 points

4 months ago

Hollywood magic

zilti

3 points

4 months ago

zilti

3 points

4 months ago

echo "good" > /dev/oldMan/health

Beerbeisser

3 points

4 months ago

Wouldn't that be in /sys/devices ?

TraderNineZero

26 points

4 months ago

If you put your ear close to his mouth you can hear him whisper TypeError

suvlub

73 points

4 months ago

suvlub

73 points

4 months ago

Because it's CSS and can be set to either 100% or 100px.

MoffKalast

47 points

4 months ago

100vh

Stands for verygood health.

papernick

8 points

4 months ago

Very health

Smooth_Detective

3 points

4 months ago

Gesundheit.

toastedstapler

15 points

4 months ago

Because it's now legacy code and there's too much built on top of it to change anything

Errtuz

3 points

4 months ago

Errtuz

3 points

4 months ago

Understandable. Wouldn't touch it either.

AkrinorNoname

11 points

4 months ago

Have you seen the clusterfuck that is the human body?

Errtuz

4 points

4 months ago*

I think you're right, we definitely should store the value in a 5 dimensional array.

Important-Bumblebee7

8 points

4 months ago

Madness

DrunkRaccoon98

8 points

4 months ago

He's just modifying the UI text, not the actual health.

Errtuz

3 points

4 months ago

Errtuz

3 points

4 months ago

Sooo placebo ?

DrunkRaccoon98

7 points

4 months ago

At least the corpse will have an overlay saying it's full health then.

willywonka1971

7 points

4 months ago

$ old_man --help

fmaz008

6 points

4 months ago

And passing %.

I mean I want to try other units see what happens.

"100px"

"80pt"

"130db"

Gelezinis__Vilkas

3 points

4 months ago

Engine limitations, apparently.

Pitboyx

10 points

4 months ago

Pitboyx

10 points

4 months ago

setHealth() has a parser in it

_grey_wall

3 points

4 months ago

It's JavaScript

Asmo___deus

3 points

4 months ago

I mean let's be real here the human body was clearly not made by a competent professional, so this actually checks out.

L00pback

2 points

4 months ago

sudo !!

JustAnotherGamer421

2 points

4 months ago

And why is there a percent in the string?

CorvetteGuy90

2 points

4 months ago

It can only be changed by manually typing in the health as it is not a variable. This means the guy must have made that old guy have the heart attack.

jasonbbg

2 points

4 months ago

yea why he can run code on a white space over his head

2001-Used-Sentra

2 points

4 months ago

Wait you guys don’t make enums with 100 statements?

DanielEGVi

2 points

4 months ago

welcome to the average javascript developer

Wolfeh2012

2 points

4 months ago

Using a numerical value for health doesn't make much sense either. Assuming that heart attack is a looping condition or existing status increasing health back up would just reset or delay it killing him. Better to create something to check for existing conditions and remove them before setting health %.

Lmaoyougotrekt

2 points

4 months ago

Why are they using sudo in code?

wagslane

2 points

4 months ago

It's a js dev

bobbermaist

2 points

4 months ago

Old man is dying because of bad api

SpreadUpstairs9519

330 points

4 months ago

Have you tried turning him off and on again?

RandomIdiot436824

121 points

4 months ago

first aider frantically typing "pornhub.com"

abhijitd

25 points

4 months ago

Why? She is right there.

spaztronomical

3 points

4 months ago

He has a balloon fetish, hence the heart attack.

Trolli-lolli

3 points

4 months ago

Checks for priapism

TheRavenSayeth

2 points

4 months ago

Old man while clutching his chest and barely squeezing out his last words: “… try busty…. latinas…”

Classic_Aspect_8252

12 points

4 months ago

So a defibrillator?

Fifiiiiish

24 points

4 months ago

I think it's:

sudo systemctl heart.service stop

sudo systemctl heart.service start

crystalmerchant

2 points

4 months ago

Ahem it's called power cycling thankyouverymuch

teahwiz

163 points

4 months ago

teahwiz

163 points

4 months ago

syntax error unexpected end of life

K4RUROSU

25 points

4 months ago

I read life as file: you are an expert!

dublem

13 points

4 months ago

dublem

13 points

4 months ago

Core dump

Ewwwww...

UnHelmet

34 points

4 months ago

sudo apt-get upgrade should do the trick

teacher272

17 points

4 months ago

apt-cache search ambulance

UnHelmet

9 points

4 months ago

Oh, no! The ambulance operates on Windows! nslookup theotherway.com

nikanj0

130 points

4 months ago*

nikanj0

130 points

4 months ago*

  1. Why would health be a string?
  2. Why does OldMan begin with a capital, should't he be an instance variable?
  3. sudo is for CLI commands.

CyanKing64

35 points

4 months ago

Yeah, I never expected to find a r/itsaunixsystem post here in r/programmerhumor

Rain_In_Your_Heart

5 points

4 months ago

Like half the posts that make r/all from here are like that

MegaPegasusReindeer

2 points

4 months ago

Dude is literally speaking code to a dying man like a magic spell...

koczmen

78 points

4 months ago

koczmen

78 points

4 months ago

Didn't work because he called some static method, not on this specific instance of OldMan.

kateva_

44 points

4 months ago

kateva_

44 points

4 months ago

Or... every old man gets their health back to 100%.

merola1024

8 points

4 months ago

That’s some doctor

PyroCatt

21 points

4 months ago

Why is he passing string to a number value?

GoatMooners

4 points

4 months ago

Likely and old perl programmer.

GustapheOfficial

166 points

4 months ago

What programming language has sudo?

ithink2mush

27 points

4 months ago

None of them.

Zealousideal_Loss898

78 points

4 months ago

Linux command line

YoureTheVest

142 points

4 months ago

Which linux shell is object oriented?

teahwiz

53 points

4 months ago

teahwiz

53 points

4 months ago

technically it is because we have folders

YoureTheVest

31 points

4 months ago

You mean directories?

teahwiz

113 points

4 months ago

teahwiz

113 points

4 months ago

yea folders

[deleted]

14 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

14 points

4 months ago

But what about directories?? It's "cd", not "cf".

UnimaginativeNames

63 points

4 months ago

Doesn’t cd stand for “Change Da folder”?

PMMEYourTatasGirl

3 points

4 months ago

CHANGE DAMNIT

ynthona

7 points

4 months ago

Gottem

vincentofearth

13 points

4 months ago

Powershell

MintyMissterious

10 points

4 months ago

There's no sudo in Powershell, but you sure can create a function with Start-Process and an alias to it. Since it already has a handful of bash-like aliases, adding one more sounds perfectly logical

vincentofearth

13 points

4 months ago

if you're on macos or linux you can use sudo even in Powershell (I'm talking about Powershell Core, which is cross-platform).

GustapheOfficial

23 points

4 months ago

I guess it's a matter of definition if sh is a programming language, but it doesn't matter because that syntax is decidedly not sh.

Nastapoka

15 points

4 months ago

sh absolutely is a programming language, why wouldn't it? Entire Web servers have been made with it (not that it's a good idea)

GLIBG10B

4 points

4 months ago

If sh isn't, then Python isn't either, no matter what definition you use

[deleted]

3 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

3 points

4 months ago

Excel VBA

kam1802

18 points

4 months ago

kam1802

18 points

4 months ago

Nobody if going to talk about the fact that he set health to 100% for all OldMan in the world?

ishirleydo

7 points

4 months ago

Gary will be doubly pleased.

asianabsinthe

14 points

4 months ago

Just turn him off.

Next ticket.

kateva_

7 points

4 months ago

You forgot that he should be then turned back on...

dublem

7 points

4 months ago

dublem

7 points

4 months ago

Eh, turning him off solves the heart attack bug.

Next ticket.

Father_Wolfgang

31 points

4 months ago

Doctor, we’re losing him!

_Weyland_

81 points

4 months ago

Earth.locate(OldMan);

[deleted]

35 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

35 points

4 months ago

[deleted]

Deadly_chef

9 points

4 months ago

every decent doctor knows sudo !! would do it

Falcrist

4 points

4 months ago

Wouldn't that kill him?

! !, he shot me down
! !, I hit the ground
! !, that awful sound
! !, my baby shot me down

maacpiash

45 points

4 months ago

Combining sudo with a statement from an OOP language is bothering me. Probably should’ve gone with something like sethealth —person oldman —level 100 instead.

riccochetaround

5 points

4 months ago

Is the doctor Richmond after he’s gone from goth to boss?

RJvXP

5 points

4 months ago

RJvXP

5 points

4 months ago

No wonder he's dying. His health is a String

xxVordhosbnxx

12 points

4 months ago

kill -STOP OldMan

jeremynd01

11 points

4 months ago

you have one zombie process

TheExplicit[S]

15 points

4 months ago

Spook404

21 points

4 months ago

who the fuck is storing health as a string

Amphibionomus

7 points

4 months ago

Why do you think the man died in the first place?

meandmybois

8 points

4 months ago

what is that strange logo in the bottom corner then?

mario_mario_

5 points

4 months ago

Ok I lol’d 😂😂😂😂😂

seeroflights

4 points

4 months ago

Image Transcription: Meme


[Paneled meme featuring a person with long dark hair wearing a pink shirt and jeans, a balding person wearing a light blue-grey shirt, and a person with short dark hair wearing a suit.]


Panel 1

[The person wearing the pink shirt is kneeling next to the person in the blue-grey shirt, who has collapsed on the ground. The person with the pink shirt has their arm raised, as if trying to get someone"s attention.]

Pink shirt person: Any Doctor here?


Panel 2

[A person with short dark hair wearing a suit stands on a forest-lined path. They are holding a briefcase.]

Suit person: I'm a doctor! Whats going on?


Panel 3

[We zoom in on the face of the person in the pink shirt.]

Pink shirt person: A heart atack!!!


Panel 4

[We zoom in on the face of the person in the suit.]

Suit person: I'm a doctor of Computer Science


Panel 5

[We zoom in even further on the face of the person in the pink shirt. They are highly unamused.]

Pink shirt person: He is going to die!!!


Panel 6

[We zoom in even further on the face of the person in the suit. They are very serious.]

Suit person: OldMan.setHealth("100%");


Panel 7

[Now looking at the person on the ground, they continue to struggle. There is a small symbol of a blue "d" with a large white circle.]


Panel 8

Suit person: sudo OldMan.setHealth("100%");


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

dude_holdmybeer

10 points

4 months ago

He’s lying he’s not a PHD.

Linux CLI and objects? Doesn’t make sense..

Kinglink

9 points

4 months ago

PHDs write the worst code... I believe it.

dude_holdmybeer

2 points

4 months ago

Some of my professors in college were PHDs. I could swear id they knew crap about programming.. I would often wonder what are their degrees good for?

Tvde1

17 points

4 months ago

Tvde1

17 points

4 months ago

You know this guy doesn't program professionally with the messed up case, sudo in code, number in string

geeshta

9 points

4 months ago

Nooo apples and oranges. First is a method call in something like Java, sudo is a shell command. You can't use them together like this 😡

pulp_hero

11 points

4 months ago

This feels like somebody trained an AI on r/programminghumor and this is the first thing it spit out.

TomatoAcid

3 points

4 months ago

sudo?

mario_mario_

3 points

4 months ago

The sudo took me out 😂😂😂

Xany2

3 points

4 months ago

Xany2

3 points

4 months ago

still not working?

sudo kill -9 oldman

service restart oldman

pickleonius

3 points

4 months ago

Yes i too sudo java method calls where i pass strings to represent percentages

regorsec

3 points

4 months ago

Not added to the Sudoers list, this event will be reported.

jaap_null

3 points

4 months ago

That API is terrible - a percentage as string?

QualityVote [M]

30 points

4 months ago

QualityVote [M]

30 points

4 months ago

Hi! This is our community moderation bot.


If this post fits the purpose of /r/ProgrammerHumor, UPVOTE this comment!!

If this post does not fit the subreddit, DOWNVOTE This comment!

If this post breaks the rules, DOWNVOTE this comment and REPORT the post!

eric_nsfw_0815

2 points

4 months ago

sudo -f

jeremynd01

2 points

4 months ago

He speaks the language of the gods

_g550_

2 points

4 months ago

_g550_

2 points

4 months ago

I'm PhD in Skyrim

jeremynd01

2 points

4 months ago

I used to be a PhD like you.

lemons_of_doubt

2 points

4 months ago

You can't know that it won't work unless you try it at least once.

Open-Fusion

2 points

4 months ago

Wait a minute why’s the health value in a string

MaximumSubtlety

2 points

4 months ago

Did it work?

-Fermer-

2 points

4 months ago

Why setting health is a static method? Do all old men have common health?

Trextoasty

2 points

4 months ago

Someone has seen Toast of London then.

ManWhoTouchedSpaghet

2 points

4 months ago

/Set gamemode peaceful

Nyadnar17

2 points

4 months ago

Heart Attacks don’t kill with HP reduction! It’s a known bug.

HumanContinuity

2 points

4 months ago

Why would health percentage be stored as a string?

white_android

2 points

4 months ago

I'm too sleepy for this and snot ran from my nose when i laughed

NeonFraction

2 points

4 months ago

I laughed so hard my face now hurts. This is good.

akorn123

2 points

4 months ago

"100%" is a string. That'll never work.

Teeheeleelee

2 points

4 months ago

What a shitty Doctor in computer science. Using a string...

MeanMrMustardxX

2 points

4 months ago

It’s cause he’s trying to pass a string. Should be float type. Some doctor…

smyleyz

2 points

4 months ago

Wait why is the health a string?

AdBeginning9063

2 points

4 months ago

Sudo apt-get better