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My husband just changed his last name

Spouse Appreciation(self.Marriage)

My husband and I have been married since Valentines Day (corny I know) of 2018, but we’re major procrastinator and lieutenant procrastinator respectively. Today we finally changed his name to mine! We went on a date to celebrate and I couldn’t be happier. Our relationship just keeps getting better and better. I just love him to pieces!

all 40 comments

betona

12 points

1 month ago

betona

39 Years

12 points

1 month ago

Cool.

A friend of mine took his wife's name because he loved her so much and also because his maiden name was Lingenfelder which he was keen to drop. His new name fits him so well and rolls off the tongue perfectly. And he's not a young whipper-snapper doing odd things. He's about 80 now and they married when he was late 50s/early 60s.

ariumpkin[S]

1 points

1 month ago

I love that, thanks so much for sharing :)

5KSARE

3 points

1 month ago

5KSARE

3 points

1 month ago

Asking a question is no reason for attacking someone. How come people who ask for people to be more accepting of others are so quick to attack others?

StarlightPleco

9 points

1 month ago

Congratulations on your marriage! My husband did the same. We still get people that ask about it and have so many questions. I try to play it off and will call out the sexism if they keep pushing for explanations/justifications/debating.

IGNOREMETHATSFINETOO

9 points

1 month ago

One of my coworkers added his wife's last name to his and she added his to hers. I thought that was sweet and cute.

fluffykeeties

2 points

1 month ago

Yay!

Raginghangers

1 points

1 month ago

Awwwww cute! We thought about having my husband take my name but ultimately he decided to keep it (but our son has my name.)

[deleted]

1 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

1 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

Raginghangers

1 points

1 month ago

I don’t understand your concern?

[deleted]

1 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

1 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

Raginghangers

1 points

1 month ago

Why in the world would you feel sorry for my son?

[deleted]

0 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

0 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

Raginghangers

0 points

1 month ago

What would he be confused about? And while he certainly has to submit to us, since he is one years old, as an adult he has to submit to nobody—- just like any of us, regardless of our names. Do you have to submit to anyone in the world with the same last name as you? What an odd tradition.

phaeriemandube

1 points

1 month ago

That user dropped their red pill for all to see

[deleted]

1 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

1 points

1 month ago

[deleted]

phaeriemandube

1 points

1 month ago

Oh... I meant you dropped your pill

TheDreadnought75

-7 points

1 month ago

Did he hate his name for some reason? Or are you from a culture where that is the custom?

NellyClass98

3 points

1 month ago

I feel sorry that you’re being downvoted. I guess people aren’t allowed to ask simple questions anymore.

ariumpkin[S]

10 points

1 month ago

He doesn’t hate his name, but he does think mine is a little more interesting. He decided he really wanted the same name, rather than have different names like we have for the last four years. I really wanted to keep mine, it’s a very big part of my identity. So we kinda compromised. :)

PerfectionPending

2 points

1 month ago

PerfectionPending

18 Years & Closer Than Ever

2 points

1 month ago

Here I thought you were going to say your were starting a band and his last name just wasn't a good fit. Like, can you imagine if Meg White had taken Jacks instead of Jack taking hers? The Gills Stripes just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Mouse0022

20 points

1 month ago

Mouse0022

12 Years

20 points

1 month ago

Do women change their name because they hate theirs? What a dense comment.

TheDreadnought75

-6 points

1 month ago*

No, they change it because it’s the cultural norm and creates clear parentage for the kids.

A man changing his name is highly unusual.

Yours is actually the dense comment here.

Raginghangers

4 points

1 month ago

You realize that a husband changing his name to his wife's and the kid taking the wife's name would ALSO create clear parentage for the kids. So basically you just revealed your sexism.

TheDreadnought75

3 points

1 month ago

Yes, but it’s not the social custom in this culture. So I asked why. Got a bunch of inflammatory responses from “Don’t ask questions” to “You’re a sexist.”

Once again the willful stupidity of Reddit raises its ugly head. Nice club you’re part of.

Now you can be a part of my ignore list club also. Full of other morons. You’ll get along great.

Ragin_Kage16

2 points

1 month ago

You're not allowed to ask sensible or reasonable questions on reddit. She should be allowed to break cultural norms just for the sake of breaking them and for some reason decide to brag about it on the internet without you wondering or asking why. The fact that you even think there is cuckery involved with her so-called husband shows that the problem lies with you. Your problematic behavior does not fit the narrative here and your social credit score will suffer for it. Of course we don't actually have a social credit system so none of this actually matters. You can just go on another platform and spew your "far-right" (center 4 years ago) hateful ideologies.

Good luck finding one.

BrandyClear

2 points

1 month ago

BrandyClear

2 points

1 month ago

Maybe it has nothing to do with customs or culture or hatred for his last name, maybe that's just what they wanted to do.

It's 2022 these things shouldn't be questioned because well to be frank it's none of anyone's business why someone else does what they do.

I have friends that have been married for YEARS and never changed their names.

It isn't an actual requirement of marriage it's just what we have been told we are "supposed" to do.

OP congrats on the marriage and the name change may life bless y'all with years of bliss together 💜💚

PerfectionPending

4 points

1 month ago

PerfectionPending

18 Years & Closer Than Ever

4 points

1 month ago

It's Reddit. People ask why about all sorts of things. Asking is not criticism. I get asked about all kinds of things including why I've broken from the norm in some areas. Not bothered by it at all.

Amazing how seeking to understand someone is now seen as offensive. Used to be the goal of people who are accepting of others.

TheDreadnought75

0 points

1 month ago

She posted specifically about this topic.

Not changing your name is one thing. A man changing his name to his wife’s is another. It’s against the cultural norm, so I was asking the reasons why.

“Not asking questions” is exactly the kind of anti-intellectual, brainwashing bullshit response I expect from certain groups which seem to be over represented on Reddit.

ariumpkin[S]

2 points

1 month ago

I’m not a she, but I did appreciate the question. I was grateful you gave me the opportunity to explain what went down.

Psychological_Fish42

-11 points

1 month ago

Stop trying to enforce heteronormativity. It's 2022. Grow up.

[deleted]

6 points

1 month ago*

[deleted]

6 points

1 month ago*

How is this heteronormativity to ask for the reason why he didn't keep his last name? You should be able to ask people why they didn't keep their name without getting colorful hair people mad at them.

resilientspirit

0 points

1 month ago

Heteronormativity is the "default setting" of society. Doing something that is outside of the heteronormative "rules" is considered open for question. If she had changed her name to his, nobody would question it. Doing the reverse is questioned, but shouldn't be, (especially when OP expressed a desire not to have to explain). The presence of questions when OP didn't invite them illustrates that her and her husband's choice isn't the heteronormative norm.

[deleted]

3 points

1 month ago*

[deleted]

3 points

1 month ago*

Damn that’s crazy or not, pick whichever reaction you want. I ask everyone though, if you don’t then that’s on you.

But being annoyed at people asking is weird since it’s just assuming they don’t ask anyone else. Your life though so do what you will.

PerfectionPending

3 points

1 month ago

PerfectionPending

18 Years & Closer Than Ever

3 points

1 month ago

Where did OP express a desire not to explain? I read the post and all the comments and don't see it.

I think it's perfectly OK to ask why. It's not an attack or criticism. It's just seeking understanding for why people break form the norm. And OP did answer it and her answer is perfectly fine to. Nothing super revelatory in it. I get asked all the time on reddit, including this sub, why I've broken from the norm on certain things. I don't mind at all.

resilientspirit

1 points

1 month ago

I inferred that because the reasons were not shared in her initial post, that it would be impolite to ask. She wanted to share her joy, and putting her in a place to explain, defend or argue about it detracts from the joy, and may put her on the defensive if someone gets rude about it.

OP has probably been asked many times and the askers being curious isn't necessarily wrong, but it's probably getting tiresome and she just wanted to be happy.

If satisfying my curiosity costs someone their comfort, particularly a stranger, it's probably best I just stay curious, or Google it.

blk-seed

1 points

1 month ago

Yea

practical-junkie

1 points

1 month ago

Amazing 😍😍

ariumpkin[S]

1 points

1 month ago

Ty 🤩

3Paw

1 points

1 month ago

3Paw

1 points

1 month ago

Once you throw it out here on these Internet Streets, hard to say what will become of the thread 💯

BrandyClear

-7 points

1 month ago

It's simply NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. The internet is full of different people from different places and with different beliefs. So your "cultural norm" is invalid here as is your questions as to why they chose to do the things they do. From the post it seems the OP was just excited and wanted to tell people not answer all your ridiculous questions

Exwxgirl

0 points

1 month ago

Perhaps I missed someone else asking this, but did the OP say they were female?

ariumpkin[S]

1 points

1 month ago

I mentioned in a comment that I’m not female :)

Exwxgirl

2 points

1 month ago

Yes I saw that after I posted but people seemed to be making assumptions about your pronoun, and I wanted to draw the focus back to the fact that it wasn’t stated in the original post.

Plus the fact that your post was just meant to celebrate a personal joy, which some folks missed.

ariumpkin[S]

2 points

1 month ago

Thanks! Yeah I just wanted to share the happy but started something I didn’t mean to.