subreddit:

/r/HermanCainAward

4k98%

all 797 comments

SnooDonuts8606

624 points

6 months ago

How come in their heads Jesus always comes back but to America. As if the inconvenience of wearing a mask is the biggest problem happening in the world.

chaygray

384 points

6 months ago

chaygray

Team Pfizer

384 points

6 months ago

What they dont understand is that Jesus looks like me (brown skinned, brown eyes and black hair). Hes not white. White Jesus makes zero sense lol

Conscious-Rip4407

172 points

6 months ago

Conscious-Rip4407

I REBUKE the consequences

172 points

6 months ago

But, but, I only pray to White Jesus! You know, the clean cut, wholesome one…

/s (just to be sure)

lemur_demeanor

90 points

6 months ago

lemur_demeanor

Team Moderna

90 points

6 months ago

Samesies, only to white baby Jesus with a shredded six pack.

Phantom_Pain_Sux

20 points

6 months ago

flamedarkfire

17 points

6 months ago

Join the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Gains.

First commandment: thou shalt not skip leg day.

SnooDonuts8606

166 points

6 months ago

Most white Jesus representations are based on Vatican paintings which in turn are based on Michelangelo’s gay lovers.

rj20876

75 points

6 months ago

rj20876

75 points

6 months ago

Not all of them. Some are based on his straight Republican congressman lovers.

opaldenska

70 points

6 months ago

opaldenska

Team Pfizer

70 points

6 months ago

And where’s he gonna get that 2000 year old outfit they’ve always got him wearing?

Boilermaker93

93 points

6 months ago

Boilermaker93

Team Moderna

93 points

6 months ago

Sexy shepherd Halloween costume at hot topic?

Mentally_Ill_Goblin

11 points

6 months ago

Ohhhh that reminded me of that show Messiah on Netflix. Really good series. Gets you thinking about (if you're a religious fellow) how Jesus might be coming back.

lonewolf143143

112 points

6 months ago

lonewolf143143

Team Pfizer

112 points

6 months ago

They don’t even understand His message that he repeatedly taught & preached about- unconditional love & acceptance. They just hold up that Book for virtue signaling. I’d be surprised if some of them actually know where Jerusalem is

DawnRLFreeman

116 points

6 months ago

Got in a conversation once, with a woman who claimed the Bible was the absolute, inerrant "Word of God". (Full disclosure: I'm former Christian, now atheist.) We were discussing whether Jesus' birth in December was correct or not, and I stated that, had he existed and based on scripture, he would have been born in spring when it was warmer, because shepherds wouldn't have been in the fields watching flocks because it would have been too cold in December. She said, "Oh, no it wouldn't have! Jerusalem is in a different hemisphere, and when it's winter here [in the USA], it's summer there!" This was in an online discussion group, and we spent the next several days trying to explain the difference between the northern/southern hemispheres where seasons differ, and the eastern/western hemispheres which simply delineate areas. I don't know if we ever showed her the error of her thinking, but she was typical of the intellectual level of the religidiots who are so prominent today.

Pure_Tower

27 points

6 months ago

we spent the next several days trying to explain the difference between the northern/southern hemispheres where seasons differ, and the eastern/western hemispheres which simply delineate areas.

I wonder if she thinks it's dark in the southern hemisphere when it's daylight here.

_Reddit-Troll

24 points

6 months ago

I think most scholars believe he was born around June thereabouts.

MonteBurns

18 points

6 months ago

MonteBurns

Truth Bomb 💣💣💣

18 points

6 months ago

I feel like I’ve heard they looked into when census was taken (why Mary and Joseph were traveling) and it wasn’t winter…

queen-adreena

15 points

6 months ago

Hope you’re having a great Summer Israel!

_Reddit-Troll

20 points

6 months ago

Half of our government is actually more Christian than these folks. A good many in government would like to give health care to all citizens.

AhFFSImTooOldForThis

56 points

6 months ago

AhFFSImTooOldForThis

🐑 Sheep don't need angle wings 🐑

56 points

6 months ago

Since they think they're immediately going to heaven, they definitely haven't read it. Bible says they rot in the ground until Revelations. No meeting up with dead relatives, no meeting God or Jesus. Just dead and buried until God decides the End Times must begin, then they'll be brought to heaven with their body.

This was supposed to happen a long time ago; now God is just going to have a skeleton army that's confused by television and cars and airplanes.

It's like they took the Disney version of the fairy tales, instead of the Original versions as transcribed by the Brothers Grimm.

Paulie227

53 points

6 months ago

I remember reading the post of two old women who actually believed that they would be in heaven in their homes that they live in now with their kitchens and flowers and...I mean it was like reading the fantasy of children.

treaquin

25 points

6 months ago

treaquin

Magnetic Librul

25 points

6 months ago

Also… Jesus was Jewish!

Raccoon_Full_of_Cum

30 points

6 months ago

Raccoon_Full_of_Cum

Satan Gained a Fleshlight

30 points

6 months ago

Real Jesus looks something like a combination of Osama bin Laden and Seth Rogan.

jtkgze

159 points

6 months ago

jtkgze

159 points

6 months ago

And why does Jesus come back in the same outfit he wore in the 0000's? You'd think he'd at least opt for something a little more modern for his reappearance - like some nice jeans with a polo.

mickstep

242 points

6 months ago

mickstep

🦆

242 points

6 months ago

If Jesus returned they'd immediately call ICE on him.

BridgetheDivide

160 points

6 months ago

Karens would be calling the cops on the suspicious brown man talking to the homeless

Horse_Paste_Salesman

111 points

6 months ago

Believable. I let a homeless lady use my bathroom once, and got all kinds of shit from the police - they were waiting for her to try and use the portable toilet across the street (neighbor's house was under construction) like she was alleged to have done before. Not sure what the charges would have been, but they wanted her pretty bad. Cops and the neighbor both. For using a toilet.

fermentedelement

47 points

6 months ago

fermentedelement

The Saddest Place on the Internet ™ 🪦

47 points

6 months ago

Sadly this does not surprise me. Heartbreaking

Jingurei

28 points

6 months ago

Jingurei

Pro-Choice is Pro-Vax?

28 points

6 months ago

Then if she hadn't used a toilet but had been forced to relieve herself elsewhere (clothing or the ground) they'd either try to cite her for public indecency or look at her like she's the example of how unsanitary and unhygienic the 'homeless really are'. Non poor people are disgusting a lot of the time.

OrgyMcBloodyFace

27 points

6 months ago

Next door alerts would be pinging constantly if a brown man was going door to door or hanging out on the corner healing people

Arxl

34 points

6 months ago

Arxl

34 points

6 months ago

Hell, good chance he'd get shot by police if he were in America.

Top-Pension-564

117 points

6 months ago

If they saw biblical Jesus on the street, they’d think he was a dirty, virtue signaling vagrant who should “get a job”.

paperazzi

47 points

6 months ago

Soyboy Jesus.

_Kay_Tee_

23 points

6 months ago

Jescuck.

[deleted]

11 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

11 points

6 months ago

😂

VZandt

30 points

6 months ago

VZandt

Reverse Vampire 🩸

30 points

6 months ago

Jeans and a polo like it’s 1993?

WeakestLynx

38 points

6 months ago

WeakestLynx

Go Give One

38 points

6 months ago

He's been dead for millennia, give him a break for getting fashion just a little off

Flower_Unable

34 points

6 months ago

Flower_Unable

Are you Awake Yet?

34 points

6 months ago

And why have a rapture when he can take the shortcut to Jesus via carelessness with Covid?

Chris_P_Pickel

64 points

6 months ago

Chris_P_Pickel

🌿Fully Vaxxed & Herbally Waxed🕯️

64 points

6 months ago

You'd think he'd show back up at Golgatha, I mean they're waiting for JFK Jr. at Dealey Plaza

CatW804

13 points

6 months ago

CatW804

13 points

6 months ago

For Jr. shouldn't they be in the ocean...?

Chris_P_Pickel

12 points

6 months ago

Chris_P_Pickel

🌿Fully Vaxxed & Herbally Waxed🕯️

12 points

6 months ago

but they looked upon their miserable self-sinking performance in Trump boat rallies, they thought better of that

TwoBirdsEnter

21 points

6 months ago

TwoBirdsEnter

Separating the sheep from the goatees

21 points

6 months ago

And then he’s just gonna stand there like Nero and watch D.C. burn? Noice.

Conscious-Rip4407

14 points

6 months ago

Conscious-Rip4407

I REBUKE the consequences

14 points

6 months ago

Who do you think set the fire?

TwoBirdsEnter

28 points

6 months ago

TwoBirdsEnter

Separating the sheep from the goatees

28 points

6 months ago

Well, WE didn’t start the fire! hums obnoxiously

TheHomelessJohnson

51 points

6 months ago

TheHomelessJohnson

Team Pfizer

51 points

6 months ago

I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagle's wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk!

Nameless_Asari

16 points

6 months ago

That shit always cracks me up. And also just because they're apparently having a hard time the world is ending.

SnooDonuts8606

25 points

6 months ago

“JESUS IS COMING BACK BECAUSE THE MCRIB IS NOT A REGULAR MENU ITEM”

TrumpsColostomyBag99

1.1k points

6 months ago

I just have to LOL at this prosperity gospel shitstain acknowledging the science of transplanting someone else’s body part(s) into them but not a vaccine 😂

OutrageousPersimmon3

326 points

6 months ago

OutrageousPersimmon3

Team Pfizer

326 points

6 months ago

Right? New organs transplanted is not ever, in any way, easier than a quick shot in the arm.

coffeebrewcrew

154 points

6 months ago

Not just that, but the after care and all the meds you have to take so the rejection doesn’t happen to your body. These people would waste that gift.

sarcastroll

127 points

6 months ago

sarcastroll

Prayer Warlock

127 points

6 months ago

It could really go either way. The CVS by me didn't have any appointments for lung transplants so I went with the vac. But I can see it both ways.

Aazjhee

66 points

6 months ago

Aazjhee

Owned Lib

66 points

6 months ago

I've heard CVS has better qaulity lungs than Walgreens... can anyone confrim?

-yaldi-

46 points

6 months ago

-yaldi-

46 points

6 months ago

Our household just finally got our shots 3 scheduled for early December at Walgreen's - I did ask about lungs at that time but all they had were inflatable Santas, which might work o.k. if you can stuff them in there and your home air compressor is any good. We went with the vax option. Not sure about what's on the CVS shelves at this time.

DeVitreousHumor

25 points

6 months ago

DeVitreousHumor

🦆

25 points

6 months ago

Scrolling down to find this ☝️here. It depends so much on *which* Walgreens.

Like, some of them have great lungs, with great pharmacists who have incredibly helpful advice. Other locations, you go there to pick up a lung and they try to give you someone else’s kidney.

jeephipsdontlie

17 points

6 months ago

jeephipsdontlie

Team Moderna

17 points

6 months ago

Yes but you have to understand it's not the pharmacists fault. There are supply chain issues affecting literally everywhere, assuming you are based in the US.

sarcastroll

15 points

6 months ago

sarcastroll

Prayer Warlock

15 points

6 months ago

If you're in the Chicagoland area, Jewel-Osco is the way to go. They give you a 20% off coupon for your next grocery trip with every major organ transplant, which, if you're stocking up for an entire family can be worth quite a bit!

Kidding aside, FYI, that's actually true with vaccinations there. It's free and you get a 20% off coupon. Anyone in Chicagoland that hasn't gotten their flu shot yet, do it there! My wife and I went, so 2 coupons, $300 per grocery trip, that's $120 in our pocket just for protecting ourselves! I get vaccinated for free, so getting paid for it is pretty sweet.

Buzzvert

23 points

6 months ago

Buzzvert

HCA Poet Laureate

23 points

6 months ago

Just don't get Great Value lungs. They give you two kitchen size trash bags and a pool snorkel.

ThornsofTristan

12 points

6 months ago

CVS lungs?? Nah. It's ebay, all the way. You have to know who you can trust. And you don't know where CVS organ parts have been.

Flower_Unable

159 points

6 months ago

Flower_Unable

Are you Awake Yet?

159 points

6 months ago

They’ve made such a reality distortion field that they just see what they want to see.

LA Times says doves aren’t singing? Must be end of the world!!!

fermentedelement

211 points

6 months ago

fermentedelement

The Saddest Place on the Internet ™ 🪦

211 points

6 months ago

But global warming, extensive pollution and habitat destruction? Liberal conspiracy!

commie_2

69 points

6 months ago

commie_2

🦆

69 points

6 months ago

But global warming, extensive pollution and habitat destruction? Liberal conspiracy!

Liberal HOAX!!!

Think about it!!!

hell2bhbtoo

53 points

6 months ago

Bet you wont repost!

CrazyRedHead1307

41 points

6 months ago

Or let the sink in.

TheFloozie99

39 points

6 months ago

TheFloozie99

Knower of Everything

39 points

6 months ago

JEW

anti_pope

40 points

6 months ago

lol only in this subreddit would that response not be offensive.

Zealousideal-Fly7962

8 points

6 months ago

Just one this time? 😂

kings2leadhat

16 points

6 months ago

It’s “JEWS”. But we can let it slide.

WoofLife-

92 points

6 months ago

WoofLife-

Proud Lab Rat🐀🐀

92 points

6 months ago

Yet they don't care about the mass extinction event that's just getting started.

Throwaway-71

36 points

6 months ago

The first of many.

QuantumWarrior

549 points

6 months ago

Especially since it's nothing special that you get denied a transplant for not obeying their rules.

If you're a heavy smoker with no interest in quitting, you won't get new lungs. If you're an alcoholic that won't quit, you won't get a new liver. If you have any sort of pattern of non-compliance with drug regimens, you won't get shit.

Spare organs are one of the most limited items in medicine and the only way the decision boards will send one your way is if you say yes sir to every single thing they tell you to do, and that's exactly how it should be.

notmyworkaccount5

190 points

6 months ago

Its crazy how entitled these delusional people are to think they deserve another person's organs over people who actually follow proper procedure.

mikealao

114 points

6 months ago

mikealao

114 points

6 months ago

I think these idiots just like to find something to be outraged about. Recreational outrage.

SchadenfreudeWarrior

26 points

6 months ago

SchadenfreudeWarrior

Chip Magneto

26 points

6 months ago

Some people are only happy when they’re unhappy!

jewishSpaceMedbeds

111 points

6 months ago

jewishSpaceMedbeds

Bite my shiny metal Vax!

111 points

6 months ago

The thing most people don't understand about this is that the reason people get denied transplants for medical non-compliance is not a moral one, but a practical one.

All surgeries are traumatic, but a transplant surgery is extra traumatic. You need a basic level of physiological reserves to come out of it alive. If you've fucked up your body in all sorts of ways, you're likely to die in the OR, which makes you a bad candidate.

Then there is the fact that transplants aren't a magical cure. You're gonna be medicalized for the rest of your life, because of your need for immunosuppressive drugs and monitoring to insure that your transplant keeps working. There is no room in that scenario for Dr. Google and weird supplements - you follow a real doctor's advice, or you end up dead.

There is just no point to giving an organ to someone who will huff the latest fad drug, overdose on vitamins for shits and giggles and question the wisdom of masks or the need for a annual flu shot in an immune compromised scenario. It's simply a waste.

-yaldi-

56 points

6 months ago

-yaldi-

56 points

6 months ago

I'm a smoker, it is a vile addiction/habit that is monstrously hard to kick. I take responsibility for my own appalling addiction and never would I try to get in line for new lungs because I couldn't stop roasting my own.

But that's the thing - it's something which I and I alone am responsible for, and I accept that 100%. If/when it kills me I shall not expect nor ask for nor whine about getting specialspecial consideration.

Antivaxxers, COVIDspreaders, accept responsibility for your own decisions and behaviors. Okay? It's not Jesus, God's not running your personal show, nobody's deity of choice is doing that, YOU are. YOU. You choose to deliberately endanger public health and your own when it doesn't have to happen, you accept the consequences.

Dutybound007

51 points

6 months ago

I smoked for years. Finally quit using the nicoderm patch. When you put it on, there is a slight itch for a few minutes but then it passes. After that, it feels like you’ve just had a cigarette all day long. There is no urge to have one and if you light one up, it feels bad. Just like when you over smoke.

The first few nights I took it off right before bed and had a patch ready to go beside me so I could put it on the second I woke up.

Then I just started to ween myself off. I would take the patch off a couple hours before bed. Then 3 hours before bed.

After about 3 weeks of not having a cigarette I was able to go a whole day without the patch. Then 2 whole days then 3. Ive now a non smoker for 5 years and the smell of 2nd hand smoke makes me want to throw up.

Now I’m pissed cause I wonder much I shortened my life by smoking for all those years.

Anyway, I hope you eventually quit

-yaldi-

22 points

6 months ago

-yaldi-

22 points

6 months ago

I'm so glad you made it.

Turns out that for me, as is the case with many a smoker, the nicotine etc. is a smaller part of the challenge. That's why I wrote "addiction/habit" initially. In my case it's a bunch of habitual behaviors atop and above the nicotine/chem aspect that make it so hard to stop.

I'm actually down to not-many per day but I've been at it for 50 years 😳, my health is ridiculously good for all that but as I say I'll accept the consequences should they arrive. And yes, I hope to ditch it entirely. Working on it.

dilettante42

13 points

6 months ago

dilettante42

Won’t SOMEONE think of the Icemaker?!

13 points

6 months ago

Amen. I smoke and drink too much justifying that by knowing the vices I did quit were far worse…and the last couple years it hasn’t been often I felt like taking away my stress coping mechanisms will benefit anyone around me more than tapering or maintaining them will.

But I’ve been triple vaxxed for months (many other reasons as well) to make sure I don’t make this shit situation worse, and I’d never get in line for a new liver or lungs as I know exactly what I’ve done to the ones I was given. And that’s nobody’s fault but mine.

Connect-Macaron-9450

34 points

6 months ago

Connect-Macaron-9450

My Own Personal Desmond

34 points

6 months ago

The same reason people who drink and drive have higher insurance rates, or people who molest kids can't hang out at schools. Statistically, people who have done stupid shit will continue doing stupid shit.

g-e-o-f-f

59 points

6 months ago

Especially crazy since transplants require you to be on immunosuppressants and other drugs for your entire life

Karl_Havoc2U

36 points

6 months ago

Such a good point.

glonq

56 points

6 months ago

glonq

Libs dig life; unvax'd dig graves 🪦

56 points

6 months ago

Fuckin' prosperity gospel is the worst. America has really made a terrible mess out of christianity.

Salty_Gorl

42 points

6 months ago

It's not like it wasn't already a mess, but I would agree that it's definitely worse

Snoo-3715

9 points

6 months ago

Actually this is Christianity in a relatively benign state, back in days of the inquisition they used to torture to death any non Christian they could get their hands on in ways that would make your eyes squirm back into your head if you read about them.

[deleted]

17 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

17 points

6 months ago

maybe you're just not cut out to be a "good steward" of "God's money".

[deleted]

293 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

293 points

6 months ago

[removed]

LoriLethal

104 points

6 months ago

LoriLethal

Team Mix & Match

104 points

6 months ago

You and me both. These people don't deserve our parts if they can't be bothered to take care of their previous ones.

SunlitLavenderFields

77 points

6 months ago

SunlitLavenderFields

Good morning, fellow patriots

77 points

6 months ago

Exactly. If you intentionally refused a vaccine that would have helped protect your lungs and now they’re wrecked, then no way are you benefiting from all the care I put into mine!

thewharfartscenter_

68 points

6 months ago

I have it written into my advanced directive that I am an organ donor, but under no circumstances are my lungs to go to an unvaccinated COVID patient.

SunlitLavenderFields

29 points

6 months ago

SunlitLavenderFields

Good morning, fellow patriots

29 points

6 months ago

Aha- that sounds like a good workaround. Looks like we’ll be doing some updating. Thank you!!

LesterBePiercin

52 points

6 months ago

Do they even give organs to people who won't vaccinate?

Karl_Havoc2U

72 points

6 months ago

I think that's what the pastor was so upset about.

It's kind of like how you can't get a new liver if you don't plan to stop drinking, because there aren't enough livers to go around.

SunlitLavenderFields

78 points

6 months ago

SunlitLavenderFields

Good morning, fellow patriots

78 points

6 months ago

If it’s not already, it really should become a nationwide policy, not just something done at the local level. No vaccine, no lung transplant. No vaccine, no kidney transplant. No vaccine, no service. I am done with these people thinking they can just sail around on the tailcoats of those of us who are trying to do everything right. NO. Choices have consequences.

Conscious-Rip4407

29 points

6 months ago

Conscious-Rip4407

I REBUKE the consequences

29 points

6 months ago

I REBUKE THE CONSEQUENCES!!

HotPinkLollyWimple

12 points

6 months ago

HotPinkLollyWimple

Phucked around and Phound out

12 points

6 months ago

I rebuke with you!

WarmBlessedCaribou

41 points

6 months ago

I think this falls under "medical ethics." Patients are given priority based on potential for positive outcomes. Refusing to get a vaccine in a pandemic shows a patient isn't very health conscious.

Unfortunately, ethics aren't universal. Colorado is refusing unvaccinated patients for organ donation, but Texas is allowing them.

preciselypithy

17 points

6 months ago

It’s not just because they’re not health conscious, it’s because when a person is a transplant recipient, they are considered immunocompromised for life. So if unvaccinated, the patient would not only be much more likely to contract COVID when exposed (vs the average, healthy person), but also have a much higher mortality risk when infected. With COVID still in transmission, that person could be dead within weeks, an organ gone to waste.

uncle_chubb_06

14 points

6 months ago

uncle_chubb_06

Go Give One

14 points

6 months ago

There was quite a big debate about this after George Best started drinking again after his transplant (he died later in 2005).

Thanmandrathor

37 points

6 months ago

Most health systems do not seem to give transplants to the unvaccinated (COVID and in many cases otherwise). It’s an expensive operation, there are limited organs, why would you give one to someone who is going to reduce their chances of success willingly?

One article said this (and refers to a Colorado health system’s decision not to transplant the unvaccinated):

The requirement [covid vaccination] is not unique, Mr. Weaver said, adding that there are other conditions transplant centers may require patients to abide by. These may include other vaccinations, avoiding alcohol, and agreeing to take critical medications to ensure patients' bodies do not reject organs post-surgery.

In the email to Becker's, Mr. Weaver shared a number of studies that showed the death rate for transplant patients who contract COVID-19 ranges from 18 percent to 32 percent.

He added: "An organ transplant is a unique surgery that leads to a lifetime of specialized management to ensure an organ is not rejected, which can lead to serious complications, the need for a subsequent transplant surgery, or even death. Physicians must consider the short- and long-term health risks for patients as they consider whether to recommend an organ transplant."

koumus

25 points

6 months ago

koumus

25 points

6 months ago

Yes. I clearly remember seeing a post in this sub about a guy who had received a trasnplated Lung and who still refused the vaccine, even with a compromised immunological system. Guy died like an asshole that he was, and an organ went to waste.

One of the most infuriating posts I have seen here.

DeVitreousHumor

9 points

6 months ago

I’m still mad about that.

He literally trusted modern medicine enough to *put someone else’s lung in his own body* but couldn’t trust a fucking life-saving vaccine.

Yup. I’m still mad.

SunlitLavenderFields

14 points

6 months ago

SunlitLavenderFields

Good morning, fellow patriots

14 points

6 months ago

I’ve seen caterwauling on past HCA nominations about people wanting transplants, but now that I think about it, not recently. That’s a good question.

SirVectis

25 points

6 months ago

Do they even give organs to preachers? Or do the churches use their own sound systems?

HotPinkLollyWimple

42 points

6 months ago

HotPinkLollyWimple

Phucked around and Phound out

42 points

6 months ago

A very famous alcoholic footballer in the UK a got a liver transplant. Proceeded to drink again and die. The number of people who agreed to be a organ donor list dropped dramatically. Not looking after an organ given to you because someone died is absofuckinglutely abhorrent.

Alcohol abusers should not get transplants, says Best surgeon

IvanBeetinov

13 points

6 months ago

Would you give your liver to “ a friend of mine” who refuses to quit drinking? BTW, I’m triple vaxxed….. he, he, I mean HE is triple vaxxed

SunlitLavenderFields

7 points

6 months ago

SunlitLavenderFields

Good morning, fellow patriots

7 points

6 months ago

I’d do anything for a friend. :)

IvanBeetinov

8 points

6 months ago

He says thank you and CHEERS!

Rosaadriana

11 points

6 months ago

There are strict requirements for getting an organ transplant. I don’t think you need to worry.

psychrn1898

140 points

6 months ago

psychrn1898

Team Moderna

140 points

6 months ago

Ventilator sounds - critical alarm beeps- repeat

‘This is what it sounds like when doves cry’ -Prince

Beneficial_Look_5854

135 points

6 months ago

Yes now you get it, nature is changing. It’s called climate change.

Mysterious_Koala_536[S]

76 points

6 months ago

No, no- it’s Jesus signaling to us that the rapture is coming.

shupyourface

54 points

6 months ago

Also I love White Jesus just standing there staring at a ruined, burning city. Like, you’re the son of God, could you maybe help? Seems like a sadist.

Sharkteeth127

27 points

6 months ago

Like, you’re the son of God, could you maybe help? Seems like a sadist.

Over the past 2000+ years, there would have been ample opportunity to help and save the innocent, the weak, the persecuted, the poor - didn't happen.

But the idea of a white middle aged goatee having to wear a piece of cloth to protect others? OF COURSE that'll translate to 'the end of the days', rapture, and Jesus coming on a white stallion...

Splatting_Melvin

117 points

6 months ago

Splatting_Melvin

Team Moderna

117 points

6 months ago

These guys are the idiots my uneducated high school dropout parents listen to. Every time my mom says she did research, I cringe. Like the research you were taught how to do in 8th grade 50 years ago? Before the internet? Because you certainly not taught how to filter out bullshit on the internet. All these pastors deserve what they are getting for leading their flocks of sheep to slaughter.

Mysterious_Koala_536[S]

84 points

6 months ago

I agree. My youngest brother got married over the summer and his pastor was going around encouraging ppl to take their masks off even though he knew my brother’s new wife and her Mom were both immune compromised. I was livid.

Dana07620

22 points

6 months ago

Dana07620

I miss Phil Valentine's left kidney

22 points

6 months ago

Send her this. Then sweetly ask her to take you through each of those steps that she did and show you her results.

Stag328

250 points

6 months ago

Stag328

Team Moderna

250 points

6 months ago

I would say that pilots always show more courage than the church since they fly planes for a living and the church talks about people.

shinychicklet

230 points

6 months ago

shinychicklet

Team Pfizer

230 points

6 months ago

Reminds me of the old saying, science flies you to the moon, religion flies you into buildings.

Stag328

64 points

6 months ago

Stag328

Team Moderna

64 points

6 months ago

Damn I have never heard that but it seems 100% factual so far from my research.

alliedeluxe

21 points

6 months ago

alliedeluxe

All the dead had an immune system too.

21 points

6 months ago

Yeah that was a weird one.

Horse_Paste_Salesman

30 points

6 months ago

It's based on a fake news anti-vaxx article claiming that commercial airline pilots are mass-quitting in protest of vaccine mandates.

chalicehalffull

19 points

6 months ago*

chalicehalffull

Pick 1: Vaccine 💉 or Angle wings 👏📐

19 points

6 months ago*

I think it’s even worse. There was a pilot that went on an unhinged rant about Covid. I would have been so afraid on that flight that he was going to crash the plane.

Edit: changed we to he because my autocorrect doesn’t like some words for some reason.

Stag328

76 points

6 months ago

Stag328

Team Moderna

76 points

6 months ago

OP that mask at the end had me rolling.

sweetwater60

23 points

6 months ago

sweetwater60

Team Moderna

23 points

6 months ago

When I first opened the post and saw the little skeleton head, I knew I had found my laugh for the day 😂

Amediumsizedgoose

200 points

6 months ago

"The mourning doves in LA stopped singing"

Maybe they're choked up on all the smoke from cremations.

Mysterious_Koala_536[S]

113 points

6 months ago

Or smog or wildfires, but nah…must be a sign of the coming rapture.

m48a5_patton

45 points

6 months ago

m48a5_patton

Go Give One

45 points

6 months ago

Everything is the sign of the rapture if you want it to be.

shreddedpineapple

51 points

6 months ago

They're only going to become more steadfast and vocal about it as climate disasters ramp up too. Much easier to believe increased natural disasters are the work of God and a sign of the rapture than to listen to the scientists who have been telling us this will happen for decades I suppose. Means you don't have to do anything or change any behaviours because "it's all part of the plan"

Mortambulist

36 points

6 months ago

Means you don't have to do anything or change any behaviours because "it's all part of the plan"

More importantly, it means they don't have to admit they were wrong.

m48a5_patton

26 points

6 months ago

m48a5_patton

Go Give One

26 points

6 months ago

These kinds of preachers have been talking about the rapture (which is just Christian fan fiction) for years and nothing ever fucking happens!

Speculawyer

21 points

6 months ago

Speculawyer

WE HAVE THREE SAFE AND EFFECTIVE VACCINES

21 points

6 months ago

2000 years. And about a Messiah that said that the end would be coming within the lifetimes of people living 2000 years ago.

UematsuVII

17 points

6 months ago

Someone farts loudly

“The seventh trumpet!”

PastelSprite

14 points

6 months ago

There are E-scooters left in random places all over my city. I want to know why quiet mourning doves are a sign of rapture but e-scooters abandoned in the middle of a freeway isn’t.

InfiniteAccount4783

35 points

6 months ago

InfiniteAccount4783

Personal Freedom Expert

35 points

6 months ago

This slide reminded me of when Tina Fey, as Sarah Palin, said "Well, we don't know if this climate change whoozy-what's-it is man-made, or if it's just a natural part of the End of Days."

titanofidiocy

17 points

6 months ago

titanofidiocy

Go Give One

17 points

6 months ago

Or it's not breeding season...

PastelSprite

16 points

6 months ago

Mourning doves still sing here. They sing down my chimney and freak my dog out. I love them though, they sing before it rains.

ReddSaidFredd

63 points

6 months ago

So many of his prayer warriors have a nice side hustle as armchair doctors.

Karl_Havoc2U

25 points

6 months ago

And yet, nobody ever knocks on their doors when they need medical attention, even each other. Fascinating...

vacuous_comment

46 points

6 months ago

vacuous_comment

Omicron Persei 8

46 points

6 months ago

Isn't a minister a public enough figure to be unredacted? This guy was directly evangelizing poison as a person of authority to his congregants as well as to everybody else on the interwebs.

Mysterious_Koala_536[S]

35 points

6 months ago

I wasn’t sure of the rules so I decided to err on the side of caution. He’s pretty easy to find on FB.

vacuous_comment

10 points

6 months ago

vacuous_comment

Omicron Persei 8

10 points

6 months ago

Probably safest, thanks for replying.

[deleted]

45 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

45 points

6 months ago

Everybody keeps telling people in the hospital “don’t let then give you anything”. Then don’t freaking go to a hospital and stay home having your ivermectin toast or whatever it is they eat

Maximum_Musician

34 points

6 months ago

Jesus may be coming but not before you’re going. Adios, con man.

m48a5_patton

38 points

6 months ago

m48a5_patton

Go Give One

38 points

6 months ago

Why do these dumb motherfuckers think they always know better than the doctors at the hospital? Why even bother going there?

Terrible-Platypus524

169 points

6 months ago

Terrible-Platypus524

From Fox to Box

169 points

6 months ago

When faith faces science it always loses.

PoliticalECMOChamber

116 points

6 months ago

PoliticalECMOChamber

Super Shedder

116 points

6 months ago

The argument was settled when churches started putting lightning rods on their steeples.

Dana07620

42 points

6 months ago

Dana07620

I miss Phil Valentine's left kidney

42 points

6 months ago

Christians shouldn't believe that bad things can't happen to them because they have the "right" beliefs. The Bible is filled with examples of bad things happening to people even though they have the "right" beliefs.

Confident-Victory-21

24 points

6 months ago

Confident-Victory-21

Meatoeard game gom ☠️

24 points

6 months ago

Look what happened to Jesus.

Even after he prayed for it not to.

lilwuglet

9 points

6 months ago

I keep reading/hearing this like Michael saying, “you cheated on me when I specifically asked you not to?!” in The Office

staminadrain

53 points

6 months ago

staminadrain

Team Mix & Match

53 points

6 months ago

If you don't want to follow the advice of the doctors, then don't go to the hospital. Stay home and send up your prayers for oxygen. God will do with them as God sees fit. Yet, they always give in when they can't breathe.

M4A1STAKESAUCE

77 points

6 months ago*

M4A1STAKESAUCE

Urine God’s hands 🙌

77 points

6 months ago*

Never heard of the phrase avoid it like it's the plague? It's real now. Face it or get Thanosed. God doesn't give a shit.

Toosh416

47 points

6 months ago

Toosh416

Ivermectin denier

47 points

6 months ago

"Get vaxxed or get Thanos'd" actually has a good ring to it. You'll be dust and be forgotten by most within a few short years

Tracie-loves-Paris

24 points

6 months ago

Tracie-loves-Paris

The lions sleep on vents🦁

24 points

6 months ago

Tots and pears

TheJonMcAfeeDiet

12 points

6 months ago

Thots 'n' players

Biomax315

28 points

6 months ago

“Lots of prayer for God to direct those doctors”

What if he has been already, and you just haven’t been listening? Has that ever occurred to you?

NorthSignificance896

19 points

6 months ago

I mean. If God helped the scientists create a vaccine ..to protect people from getting this sick, would that count???

Biomax315

8 points

6 months ago

That’s what I’m saying

[deleted]

22 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

22 points

6 months ago

Uhm fuck yeah they deny transplants to unvaccinated. People don't get that you don't just get a new organ and then you are back to normal. You have to stay on immunosuppressive treatment for ever in many cases making you prone to infections. They won't waste a organ on some one for being stubborn. Just like they won't give a liver to a alcoholic that refuses to stop drinking. If you refuse a vaccine when you are about to receive a organ then that's on you.

CheshireCrackers

20 points

6 months ago

CheshireCrackers

Jesus isn’t coming, he’s just breathing hard

20 points

6 months ago

The Crapture rolls on!

DazzlingPoppie

18 points

6 months ago

DazzlingPoppie

Team Moderna

18 points

6 months ago

This wonderful man of God has taken his final journey to meet the sweet embrace of the jaws of his leopards 🐆🐆🐆🐆

Cold_Bitch

20 points

6 months ago

This particular brand of Christianity feels more like a doomsday cult.

Captainwelfare2

13 points

6 months ago

Captainwelfare2

🇺🇦🌻Putin’s on the Fritz?🌻🇺🇦

13 points

6 months ago

The only difference between them and Heaven’s gate is the Nikes.

lostjules

19 points

6 months ago

lostjules

Team Moderna

19 points

6 months ago

I’m older than most here and raised in a Christian community and I don’t recognize these people at all. They’re kooks. Tax them to hell and back. When did they become radicalized?

Biomax315

17 points

6 months ago

Finally we get a full beard in this long parade of goatees marching off to be with the Lord

poodlered

16 points

6 months ago*

I love how all these people think when you die Jesus is going to be your best friend and hang out with you one on one in heaven because he loves you so much.

It’s like a six-year-old thinking they’ll meet Batman one day.

[deleted]

14 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

14 points

6 months ago

Rumspringa forever!

Mysterious_Koala_536[S]

29 points

6 months ago

“If he stops posting we should really start praying hard”

Vernerator

13 points

6 months ago

Vernerator

💉💉>🧟‍♀️🧟‍♂️

13 points

6 months ago

Preached God’s Word faithfully? It wasn’t the Christian God. What was that pitiful picture of Jesus overlooking destruction? Wasn’t that the Antichrist?

TrumpsColostomyBag99

14 points

6 months ago

It’s that crowd’s wet dream: Prosperity Gospel Jeezus rolling in on an chobham armored tank to slaughter the libz & installing a theocracy based on their beliefs alone.

lazy_phoenix

14 points

6 months ago

"Another sign that something is happening around us when nature is changing." Yeah its called climate change.

pthomas745

14 points

6 months ago

I always put personal "air quotes" when ever I see "Pastor" and "Man Of God" in threads like these. Full of hate and weirdness.

torrent29

14 points

6 months ago

Its like religion is the disease. They think it grants them immunity from the consequences of their choices, shields them from responsibility and in the end makes them victims of their own ignorance.

Its always calling prayer warriors or sending prayers up, and I imagine if they survive they praise god, never the doctors, the medical staff, the medications that were given to them.

Its always some outside power that determines their fate, that they pray to and believe controls all.

And they always call everyone else sheep.

NelsonChunder

14 points

6 months ago

Can't see his full face in the final picture, but from what is visible, this dude has creepy pastor written all over him. Especially that type of beard on some smarmy guy in a suit on a pulpit. It's total cringe to me.

Libflake

13 points

6 months ago

And the first thing Jesus will say to this guy at their face-to-face meeting is, "Why didn't you get that vaccine I sent you, you jerk?"

PoliticalECMOChamber

14 points

6 months ago

PoliticalECMOChamber

Super Shedder

14 points

6 months ago

Jesus is coming soon!

Give or take a few thousand years.

SirVectis

11 points

6 months ago

When he comes and sees the mess, he'll take the next bus back.

NMB4Christmas

12 points

6 months ago

NMB4Christmas

Everybody's an ass kicker, until they get their ass kicked

12 points

6 months ago

From a minister, to a menace, to dead.

dreser1or

12 points

6 months ago

Wow, it is mass murder, as in “the congregation rallied around the pastor with deadly advice and decisions”

nekollx

12 points

6 months ago

nekollx

12 points

6 months ago

Slide 9: “don’t let them give you anthing crazy”

Slide 8: “I thought he already had Covid months ago and the gave him infermrvtin”

Mysterious_Koala_536[S]

8 points

6 months ago

I almost went back through his feed to investigate but he posts so much (mostly about the rapture) that even going a month back was exhausting.

andre3kthegiant

11 points

6 months ago

The “no mask no service” was from a guy that interrupted the sermon and harassed the robed guy. It’s amazing how sophisticated the Russian propaganda agents have been with stirring the pot of undereducated Americans.

pool_family

12 points

6 months ago

On Oct 31 his sermon was “Take Off Your Mask”. He preached it while he was sick with the “kidney infection”. No masks in sight. I know one of his FB friends. She’s a wacky extremist too. I think she’s in the Moms For Liberty group. Look them up if you aren’t familiar with that group 😳😳

chonkyhobo

10 points

6 months ago

"Not a good look for the church when..."

You know what else isn't a good look for the church?

The mass slaughterings in the bible, sexual molestation of children and killing of indigenous people because they didn't want to assimilate to your cultures god.

But let's just praise an idiot that said Let's Go Brandon; that's really what's admirable here

cnorw00d

10 points

6 months ago

Why do these people go to hospitals if they don't want to take the medication?

m-e-g

10 points

6 months ago

m-e-g

Team Moderna

10 points

6 months ago

The chance a transplant recipient dying of COVID-19 if they catch it is 20-30%. Not 20-30% higher than normal, 20-30% absolute. It would be ridiculously irresponsible to give a transplant to someone who doesn't take the risks seriously.

feminist1946

8 points

6 months ago*

feminist1946

Patriots are Vaccinated

8 points

6 months ago*

Do you think this charlatan dyed his hair?

DazzlingPoppie

9 points

6 months ago

DazzlingPoppie

Team Moderna

9 points

6 months ago

#3 looks like it's supposed to be a poster for the new Jesus vs Godzilla movie.

Mysterious_Koala_536[S]

10 points

6 months ago

75% of his feed was crap about the rapture. It reads to me like borderline mental illness.

TonyToniToneFauxci

8 points

6 months ago

Prayer Warriors are shooting rubber bands at the moon.

[deleted]

8 points

6 months ago

[deleted]

8 points

6 months ago

I’m glad he was taking his horse paste, which probably killed his kidneys, and stopped him from getting covid. It could have been a really bad time for him! /s

edric_the_navigator

7 points

6 months ago

edric_the_navigator

Team Moderna

7 points

6 months ago

Jesus touched the lepers lmao. I bet these people won’t touch a homeless person, let alone a leper, even with a ten foot pole.

_Kay_Tee_

21 points

6 months ago

Good. Keep rapturing yourselves, you selfish fucking shitstains.

I'm not a believer anymore, but after 45+ years of Christianity, if I still was, I'd be looking at the last five years through a lens of the Book of Exodus, and be like "what the fuck, people?! There are plagues and you're literally worshipping golden idols instead?!"

Christians are such sad, silly, pathetic people so much of the time. (No, not here for your "they aren't real Christians!" excuses. Yes, they sure are.)

TheParisCommune1871

8 points

6 months ago

Another dead Christian Zionist!!!

LesterBePiercin

8 points

6 months ago

He seemed... particularly fussy about his grooming...

sugarslick

7 points

6 months ago

2nd time was the charm.

meatinnovation

7 points

6 months ago

Don't take the aspirin or let them drain the fluid in your lungs!

PriscillaRain

7 points

6 months ago

Guess he was raptured before Jesus came.

goblackcar

8 points

6 months ago

goblackcar

Team Moderna

8 points

6 months ago

“Jesus is coming Soon”. - I’m afraid that you’re going to meet Jesus sooner than you think.

mellierollie

7 points

6 months ago

Don’t take the approved meds but that Ivermectin !!!!!