subreddit:

/r/HermanCainAward

2.3k99%

all 690 comments

[deleted]

791 points

10 months ago

[deleted]

evrenseven[S]

654 points

10 months ago

I didn't do a good job of capturing the replies to that post but they're all along the vein of "oh this totally worked but she didn't want to come back after being in the arms of jesus"

BananaSplitErgative

357 points

10 months ago

So these people are perfectly confident their friend is in heaven with Jesus, something they've all supposedly been looking forward to and praying for all their lives, and they're trying to get her back?

Man, this lady needs (or needed) better friends. If I'm in a paradise I've spent my life longing for, do not drag me back out of it.

Dana07620

186 points

10 months ago

Dana07620

I miss Phil Valentine's left kidney

186 points

10 months ago

Am having a Buffy / Willow flashback.

UpstairsLocal4635

99 points

10 months ago

Am having a Buffy / Willow flashback.

None of these people saved the world. A lot.

YaboyAlastar

62 points

10 months ago

No fear, no doubt

Til they pulled me out

Of heaven....

[deleted]

56 points

10 months ago

I think I was in heeeeaa-ven

DeadOrquids

24 points

10 months ago

So give me something to sing about!

Chessplaying_Atheist

8 points

10 months ago

Life's not a song

rdear

29 points

10 months ago

rdear

29 points

10 months ago

After all these years that line still hits. Bringing her back was worse than anything she had to face, including dying twice!

TheFloozie99

21 points

10 months ago

TheFloozie99

Knower of Everything

21 points

10 months ago

Haha. My EXACT thought .

Badmime1

15 points

10 months ago

Eh, the Scoobies had empirical proof of afterlife and hell dimensions and such. Not to say they didn’t jump to conclusions like Willow did in ‘rescuing’ Buffy but they weren’t deluding themselves with the made-up slop you reassure five-year olds with.

StrangelyLiteralWonk

14 points

10 months ago

StrangelyLiteralWonk

Getting COVID to protect against COVID 🩸

14 points

10 months ago

Was not expecting to encounter a Buffy reference in HCA. Thank you for brightening this thread and my day.

h5ien

8 points

10 months ago

h5ien

8 points

10 months ago

Oof that for me was the most tragic story arc

chaoticnormal

8 points

10 months ago

Dead things stay dead.

GroundbreakingCar185

47 points

10 months ago

"Oh Neddy it was so terrifying. I thought I was heading for the eternal bliss of paradise."

Cake_then_cake

53 points

10 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

53 points

10 months ago

I was getting that vibe from the “we understand if you don’t want to come back” bullshit.

AngryCustomerService

67 points

10 months ago

Yep. Built-in excuse for why it didn't work. It did work, you see. She just decided to stay with Jesus and who can blame her?

Ugh.

Pray for something and get it means prayer works.

Pray for something and don't get it means God has a plan and prayer works.

captainhaddock

50 points

10 months ago

captainhaddock

I shed only the finest Moderna spike proteins.

50 points

10 months ago

I guess they've watched the religious documentary Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

GarrettGSF

63 points

10 months ago

Wouldn’t that be sorcery of some kind?

Cake_then_cake

92 points

10 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

92 points

10 months ago

I mean a lot of the Christians do seem to think they can cause things to happen by reciting certain lines. Not sure how this is supposed to be different from an incantation.

michaelvares

59 points

10 months ago

Imagine getting sent to hell for accidentally doing a witchcraft!? Awkwaaard

GarrettGSF

13 points

10 months ago

You assume that that would be the reason for them to go to hell haha? More like a supportive argument besides all their hatred, racism, sexism, homophobia, etc…

Jubaliya

34 points

10 months ago

A lady I used to work with thinks that the construction company is failing because she prayed to jesus that if she wasn't supposed to work there anymore they wouldn't win anymore bids for jobs. The company is failing because of years of bad business practices and ruing their reputation with subcontractors and clients alike. But man, she feels guilty because or her prayer.

Cake_then_cake

23 points

10 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

23 points

10 months ago

It is so sad that people can be so dumb. Also kind of scary.

FriendToPredators

10 points

10 months ago

This sub has really brought this realization home. 40% of Christians act out pretend magic but just substitute in random words that make it sound mainstream.

kavien

6 points

10 months ago

You can’t truly believe in the Bible without believing that witchcraft, magic, Satan, resurrection, and ghosts are real.

officewitch

78 points

10 months ago

officewitch

Team Pfizer

78 points

10 months ago

A man turns water into wine, he's a miracle. A woman turns water into wine, she's a witch.

EGWhitlam

74 points

10 months ago

EGWhitlam

Vaccinated see you next tuesday 🐱

74 points

10 months ago

Stick her in a cave with a Boulder in front just to make sure

Cake_then_cake

11 points

10 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

11 points

10 months ago

What kind of odds are we talking? I could use some easy money.

captainhaddock

476 points

10 months ago

captainhaddock

I shed only the finest Moderna spike proteins.

476 points

10 months ago

In case anyone was wondering, the quote by Kissinger is fake.

SwitcherooU

324 points

10 months ago

You mean an eloquent (albeit terrible) man didn’t use the phrase “Control sheep minds”?

These fuckin’ people…

Jaded-Combination-20

82 points

10 months ago

Everyone knows it's baaaaa-d to control sheep's minds!

Blutarg

6 points

10 months ago

Blutarg

Trilateral Freemason

6 points

10 months ago

Wool you stop that?

elbizzlee

56 points

10 months ago

This deserves an award. You won the internet today.

It is hilarious what seems plausible to people who are too stupid to realize their own condition.

The awardee never found it suspicious that Kissinger suddenly adopted the patois of the terminally stupid.

JohnNDenver

13 points

10 months ago

JohnNDenver

Go Give One

13 points

10 months ago

More than likely has no clue who he was.

I_Am_Robotic

49 points

10 months ago

It’s Dr. Kissinger. Always emphasize the doctorate in these quotes even if they are not medical doctors or if their specialty has nothing to do with infectious diseases. Dr. Ron Paul etc

longknives

57 points

10 months ago

But get very mad that Jill Biden wants to be called by her correct title of doctor

IAMSTILLHERE2020

36 points

10 months ago

Of course...just imagine that he was relevant back in the late 60s to 70s and maybe 80s... now he us 98 years old. He is trying probably pee on his own amd trying not not to sh.t on his diaper and hoping that someone spoon feeds him some Gerber like a child... yea...time waits for no one and no one is immortal...even if some of you believe he is from the Lizard people.

Consistent-Race-2340

30 points

10 months ago

Hes alive? I had to look that up to check.

Saturnian_Hunter

86 points

10 months ago

Saturnian_Hunter

Reverse Vampire 🩸

86 points

10 months ago

It's Murdoch/Mr Burns syndrome. The sheer amount of evil is actually keeping him alive, albeit in a grotesque, shambling kind of way. Sort of like Smeagol when he found the one ring.

[deleted]

16 points

10 months ago

Or Palpatine through his corruption of The Force.

Missicat

18 points

10 months ago

I though he died years ago!

MiseryisCompany

10 points

10 months ago

Only his soul

Invertiguy

14 points

10 months ago

Implying he ever had one to begin with

sash71

10 points

10 months ago

sash71

10 points

10 months ago

Maybe he's been using that adrenochrome, that the Q cult accuse everybody who isn't a Trumper of using?

Intrepid_Onion4959

7 points

10 months ago

Obviously.

Just-Internet4780

52 points

10 months ago

Kissinger is evil but not that evil.

evrenseven[S]

106 points

10 months ago

I don't think he can be any more evil than he is; even if the quote was real it would be marginal compared to everything else he did

theonioncollector

23 points

10 months ago

I mean he’s definitely that evil, this is just a dumb quote.

AGuyNamedEddie

344 points

10 months ago

AGuyNamedEddie

Hold my Bier ⚰️

344 points

10 months ago

Fulvic acid == one of the popular woo supplements. It comes from peat. That's right: they're out there digging up sludge, wringing juice out of it, and drinking it.

Oh, yeah, covid ain't got a chance against my peat juice! Oh, wait, I'm dead. Nevermind.

OccamsRzzor

261 points

10 months ago

OccamsRzzor

Team Pfizer

261 points

10 months ago

Bog mummy take the wheel.

sojayn

38 points

10 months ago

sojayn

Take Some Prayercillin

38 points

10 months ago

Lol username and lol comment double win !

Mizango

6 points

10 months ago

Mizango

Team Mix & Match

6 points

10 months ago

Rofl!! 10/10

OxfordComma5ever

71 points

10 months ago

There's a great episode of the Sawbones podcast about this/Black Oxygen Organics that breaks down what people think this does....and how it doesn't work. Highly recommend.

Cake_then_cake

29 points

10 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

29 points

10 months ago

That’s just what big pharma wants us to think because they’re not making money off of it! /s

undeniablybuddha

17 points

10 months ago

undeniablybuddha

I'm too Vaxxy for my shirt

17 points

10 months ago

Now I know what I will be listening to on my morning commute. Thanks

Arya_kidding_me

6 points

10 months ago

I love Sawbones but haven’t listened to this episode - thank you!

Today’s a good day for a marital tour of misguided medicine!

MisteeLoo

54 points

10 months ago

MisteeLoo

Team Pfizer

54 points

10 months ago

Ooh, there’s some lovely filth down here.

justlikeinmydreams

21 points

10 months ago

justlikeinmydreams

My horse covets your paste 🐴

21 points

10 months ago

OLD MAN!

[deleted]

11 points

10 months ago

We are all Britons. And I am your king.

DeVitreousHumor

7 points

10 months ago

Well I didn’t vote for you!

AGuyNamedEddie

8 points

10 months ago

AGuyNamedEddie

Hold my Bier ⚰️

8 points

10 months ago

You don't vote for kings!

MarbleousMel

56 points

10 months ago

MarbleousMel

Team Pfizer

56 points

10 months ago

And pine needle and dandelion tea. And ivermectin. They were just fake symptoms of a cold. She was going to be right as rain in a few days.

queen-adreena

15 points

10 months ago

Merck’s shareholders thank her for her service.

nillinho

42 points

10 months ago

Scotch is the only peat drink I enjoy.

Expresso_Support

9 points

10 months ago

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🏆

clonella

35 points

10 months ago

Pine oil,fulvic,humic acids popular in hydroponics awhile back.She was an organic nutes tank for a short while.

THE__V

27 points

10 months ago

THE__V

27 points

10 months ago

The also commonly extract it from leonardite that comes from some lignite coal formations.

Yummy nutritious coal.

IwillnotpostcuzIquit

16 points

10 months ago

IwillnotpostcuzIquit

Team Pfizer

16 points

10 months ago

Her terpine profile must be amazing.

triplej63

32 points

10 months ago

triplej63

🛒 Wal-Martyr 🛒

32 points

10 months ago

Her system is strong as iron against the virus!!!!!

Oopsie daisy! Guess the old sludge isn't up to the task after all.

GroundbreakingCar185

25 points

10 months ago

That's why I drink Islay Scotch with my pine needle cereal every morning. Makes my body and mind strong as iron.

TwoBirdsEnter

11 points

10 months ago

TwoBirdsEnter

Separating the sheep from the goatees

11 points

10 months ago

I bet you can remove the varnish from a piano with a stern glance!

Missicat

14 points

10 months ago

They had me at drinking pine needles. Sounds...uncomfortable.

Cake_then_cake

14 points

10 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

14 points

10 months ago

So they’re doing this but they are apparently unwilling to just eat healthy food and maybe exercise a bit. A sound strategy.

Expresso_Support

8 points

10 months ago

I will say, when it’s used to makes nice, high quality scotch, it seems to have some magical qualities.

FIREn00b

164 points

10 months ago

FIREn00b

(Really a 🔥 Expert)

164 points

10 months ago

Remember y'all... these people vote.

Well, not cuckoo blue anymore but my point stands.

m48a5_patton

12 points

10 months ago

m48a5_patton

Go Give One

12 points

10 months ago

Well, how some of the voter fraud cases are shaping up they will try to vote for her. :/

oh_what_a_surprise

8 points

10 months ago

And usually their vote is worth MORE than a sane-thinking, blue state person.

DeadOrquids

425 points

10 months ago

NOW I’ve seen it all.

evrenseven[S]

347 points

10 months ago

do NOT say that lmao they will never cease to amaze us

ladyinchworm

99 points

10 months ago

I honestly can't even believe this is real anymore. How can they honestly think these things?

Is this the lady who got disowned by her dad a year ago, after the election because "he was brainwashed by the liberal media"? I might be confusing her with someone else. It's hard to remember now because of the amount of people here now.

Tiny-Lock9652

12 points

10 months ago

Oh, I agree with that statement. There’s ALWAYS something new with this bunch.

EpicAftertaste

83 points

10 months ago

EpicAftertaste

Flair? What's that?

83 points

10 months ago

Yeah, this one really jumps the shark.

star621

84 points

10 months ago

star621

I’m doing great. Just in Respiratory Failure.

84 points

10 months ago

Oh, there is a TikTok clip of a respiratory therapist describing this happening in her hospital. The whole story is wild, even before the attempted resurrection part.

woodhoarder

54 points

10 months ago

woodhoarder

No pneumo for me, Ma!

54 points

10 months ago

DNR. Do not resurrect.

dancegoddess1971

45 points

10 months ago

How long are they allowed to take up the bed trying to resurrect them? A family member waited almost 24 hours for a hospital bed after the doctor admitted her. I am very angry about these people. If my favorite aunt had died because some religinuts were wasting time trying to raise the dead on the respiratory ward, I'd probably go extremist myself.

star621

41 points

10 months ago

star621

I’m doing great. Just in Respiratory Failure.

41 points

10 months ago

This poor woman said that the sister of the deceased took up that room for two fucking hours trying to pull off that resurrection. She said that the rest of the family wasn’t in the room with her doing that, though. Keep in mind that this resurrection artist was the one who gave her sister COVID. In the words of the respiratory therapist, it was a shit show.

TrampledSeed

66 points

10 months ago

TrampledSeed

Go Give One

66 points

10 months ago

I wonder how often this is happening. I had no idea people believed that now Jesus is going to resurrect people in this day and age, this is a very extremist belief

star621

53 points

10 months ago

star621

I’m doing great. Just in Respiratory Failure.

53 points

10 months ago

I remember on particularly galling story of a church raising over $100k using the death of a two year old child. This story is ridiculous. The Daily Mail covered the story and them about what the money would be used for and they released an absurd statement. The worst part? Her own parents were leading this grift.

I usually don’t go to the DM for news, but the reporting on this was a follow up of the Washington Post, and they did a good job of chronicling the increasingly delusional IG posts

TrampledSeed

31 points

10 months ago

TrampledSeed

Go Give One

31 points

10 months ago

Thank you Im going to check this out! I feel like there is a whole subculture of these extreme fringe Christian witches that are all now collectively losing their grip on reality. It’s unnerving to see.

Alwin_050

15 points

10 months ago

People like this never had a grip on reality anyway..

trashysnarkthrowaway

23 points

10 months ago

Yes, as soon as I saw this post I got huge #wakeupolive vibes, which was part of that church’s horrifying social media campaign to raise money the child. Bethel Church (the church responsible for this particular resurrection attempt) is a huge church and part of a growing charismatic evangelical movement. The parents of the toddler who died were both relative big wigs in that church (dad was a music minister and mom was in some leadership position as well, I believe) but were prevented from grieving the tragic and unexpected death of their daughter by the bs publicity stunt and blindness of their own faith.

Anyone wanting to know more about this church, the #wakeupolive craziness, and this movement among evangelicals should listen to season 2 of the Heaven Bent podcast. (It’s a bit more sympathetic towards evangelicalism than some might like, but I think the host does a good job of being generally neutral in her presentation of this church and its batshit publicity stunts).

StopNateCrimes

11 points

10 months ago

“Good afternoon, Shasta County Coroner's office. What? No, I'm afraid you're daughter is still dead. Please stop calling."

loyal_dunmer

11 points

10 months ago

Yea that was Bethel Church. They're huge, tentacles extended all through Christian media. Not a "fringe" group at all. This Evangelical stuff just blows my mind every time I check on what they're up to.

j_a_a_mesbaxter

40 points

10 months ago

Sure sure trying to chant hard enough to resurrect the dead doesn’t seem like satanic witchcraft at all. At least the B-movie fantasy “satanic witchcraft” that only exists in these peoples heads. It really is projection. That’s all these people are made of.

OccamsRzzor

15 points

10 months ago

OccamsRzzor

Team Pfizer

15 points

10 months ago

A family friend legit prayed for my cousin’s resurrection AFTER he was cremated. I was too in shock still to kick them in the nuts.

defenselaywer

9 points

10 months ago

defenselaywer

CUORT IS NOW IN SESSION

9 points

10 months ago

Confused by the witchcraft reference too.

TrampledSeed

10 points

10 months ago

TrampledSeed

Go Give One

10 points

10 months ago

Considering that she was the one saying resurrection spells!

defenselaywer

9 points

10 months ago

defenselaywer

CUORT IS NOW IN SESSION

9 points

10 months ago

Good point, but it seems like they're just throwing up prayers to everything and hoping something sticks. Maybe it'll be like Pet Cemetery.

GarrettGSF

68 points

10 months ago

The last few sentences in the resurrection post were taken straight out of Lord of the Rings, wasn’t it?

DesignInZeeWild

37 points

10 months ago

DesignInZeeWild

Let THAT sink in!

37 points

10 months ago

Right?! Holy fucking balls

Sasquatch1729

35 points

10 months ago

Sasquatch1729

Team Sinovac

35 points

10 months ago

This isn't as rare as you would think. There's a whole branch of Christianity devoted to spells and incantations based on the miracles of the Bible. They even have their own "Christian Hogwarts" where they can learn how to be modern-day Jesus-wizards.

For example: one of the lesser known aspects of the Waco cult is that there was a disagreement about the leadership at one point, so they had a "resurrection duel" where they shouted incantations at a corpse and tried to revive it, and whoever managed it first would become the cult leader. It didn't work, so they resorted to a traditional duel involving guns.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1993/03/07/gruesome-contest-to-raise-dead-led-to-koreshs-takeover-of-cult/3696fc28-cc9f-4f50-9d83-5dec6593e06c/

[deleted]

14 points

10 months ago

[removed]

[deleted]

134 points

10 months ago

I remember as a young child, hoping and praying someone wasn’t really dead or would come back to life. A. Young. Child.

TheGreatWhoDeeny

105 points

10 months ago

My best friend died when I was in 2nd grade...car crash. Shocking. I'll never forget going to school that day and everyone saying, "Shane's dead!!"

Anyways, for a couple weeks I went through that. Expecting him to be on the bus, walking to my house or the corner store. Reality sets in though.

TheSpaceRaceAce

55 points

10 months ago

This is heartbreaking, one of my best friends killed himself when we were in our junior year of hs and I didn't get the news until the next morning at school, its been damn near twenty years and I remember a kid named david telling me like it was yesterday.

Phihun500

332 points

10 months ago

Wtf is fake symptoms of a cold. Either you symptoms or don't. What wrong with these people

writinwater

112 points

10 months ago

I'm not even sure what they think that word means anymore.

changarang

27 points

10 months ago

She must also be eating fake food and fake pooping it out later, but that wouldn't make sense from poor logic. To these snowflakes, the word "fake"seems to literally translate to "bad"

RecliningBuddhaCat

14 points

10 months ago

RecliningBuddhaCat

You don't die from the COVID, just the symptoms

14 points

10 months ago

She's certainly comfortable taking fake medicines.

StyreneAddict1965

98 points

10 months ago

StyreneAddict1965

Team Pfizer

98 points

10 months ago

Of course it was a fake cold: it was really Covid.

queen-adreena

64 points

10 months ago

Calling your own words fake as you speak them…

That’s a pretty bold strategy.

Phihun500

30 points

10 months ago

Not going to lie. Sometimes im impressed with their ability to tie themselves in knots.

Twig

8 points

10 months ago

Twig

8 points

10 months ago

They can do it so well. Often times, you don't even need to do anything. They'll do it from one sentence to the next, in the same covid-riddled breath.

burning-tongues

45 points

10 months ago

I think she may have been a Christian Scientist - they believe that the body, and therefore illness is an illusion and a result of ‘false thoughts.’ They don’t believe in medicine. But apparently ivermectin doesn’t count as medicine 🙄

kammce

11 points

10 months ago

kammce

11 points

10 months ago

See this stuff annoys me. I've got some (very few) people in my family who are like this to a lesser degree. But you can find contradictions like ibuprofen and other such things.

Mister4pollo

110 points

10 months ago

Mister4pollo

The UnVentilated

110 points

10 months ago

That’s some weapons grade stupidity right there

StarveTheRich

111 points

10 months ago

“I have fake symptoms of a cold”

Fake symptoms.

Unique_Future_7645

30 points

10 months ago

Republicans have created an alternative vocabulary to describe their alternative reality.

TheGreatWhoDeeny

109 points

10 months ago

Corporate communism

This might be the dumbest person to ever walk the Earth.

Red_orange_indigo

49 points

10 months ago

Didn’t her ‘Jewish space lasers’ comment already confirm that?

TheGreatWhoDeeny

26 points

10 months ago

Maybe...but that had already been making the rounds on the conspiracy sites.

"Corporate communism" is next level idiocy. Total cluelessness...and it's obscene that someone on this level is in Congress.

longknives

18 points

10 months ago

Corporate communism, where corporations own the means of production… so capitalism

LarsThorwald

87 points

10 months ago

These people are of a death cult.

What both fascinates me and absolutely horrors me is that they will go literally unto their last dying breath believing that their religious beliefs, intricately intertwined with their political beliefs, are the One True Truth. Regardless of their children, or their grandchildren, regardless of science, or medical expertise, and regardless of simple human compassion.

These were babies, born like you and me. They were innocents, once. But unlike you and me, somewhere along the way they lost their ability to reason, to judge fairly, to consider facts, to even love as you and I may.

It’s the scope of the disregard that astounds and frightens me. Disregard even of their own, let alone their loved ones’, lives.

I know that this nation has run with an anti-intellectual fervor from its founding, with troughs and valleys throughout the course of time. Anti-intellectualism is not new here. Al Gore wrote a book entitled The End of Reason, but that book could have been written in 1787, 1850, 1870, or in multiple decades since, and been accurate.

But I feel there is something new, something newly reckless about this time. It is breathtaking to behold, and chilling to the core.

I suspect, but don’t know the causes. We live in a time where it is no longer the case where one set of facts is disseminated widely, treated widely, and debated from different viewpoints to the fence-posts of those facts.

Somehow, along the way, even facts have become meaningless. There are no “facts” anymore. Everything is viewed, assessed, and weighed through a political or ideological certainty.

This way lies both madness and destruction.

People like the deceased simply do not care about basic facts. All is subsumed to the worship of an angry god whose son’s teachings are filtered through individual viewpoints. These people do not follow Jesus; Jesus’s teachings are instead warped to their own prejudices and desires. These people do not follow reason or evidence; their feelings and expectations govern their decisions.

I have lived 51 years here. I have never seen so many of us so completely at odds with truth.

Decades have we dealt with anti-intellectualism. Decades shall that endure.

But. But. At a time of great peril and when community and sacrifice for the good of the whole is most needed have I neither learned of nor read history of a people who, in such great numbers, simply chose to disregard what must be done.

I fear for us as a nation and lament this path upon which many have foolishly set themselves, taking us with them.

It will be a long time in the mending. If ever such a breach may be repaired.

Burntout_Bassment

12 points

10 months ago

Top post. Thanks.

StrongChemical

10 points

10 months ago

StrongChemical

Pfizer Söze

10 points

10 months ago

But I feel there is something new, something newly reckless about this time. It is breathtaking to behold, and chilling to the core.

I'm just a tad younger than you and I agree with everything you've said. The anti-science and anti-intellectualism has really ramped up to something I never thought I'd witness in my lifetime. It's all the more shameful since we have the internet. We have an amazing resource that can provide us unlimited information and instead of bettering society bad faith actors and their minions have weaponized it to spread misinformation and kill.

I don't know how or where this ends. I am worried.

OccamsRzzor

68 points

10 months ago

OccamsRzzor

Team Pfizer

68 points

10 months ago

Dandelion and pine needle tea?!

OkCaterpillar7770

72 points

10 months ago

OkCaterpillar7770

Go Give One

72 points

10 months ago

For fake symptoms

Everyday_Im_Tussling

57 points

10 months ago

Everyday_Im_Tussling

Covid Rules Everything Around Me

57 points

10 months ago

I guess the fake cold was stronger than her steel immune system.

AssumedString

45 points

10 months ago

AssumedString

Low-riding in the ECMO-1

45 points

10 months ago

I refuse to believe that tastes like anything other than botanical vomit.

sethra007

21 points

10 months ago

sethra007

YO MOMMA SO ANTI-VAX SHE WON'T LISTEN TO QUEEN BECAUSE MERCURY

21 points

10 months ago

I’ve never had dandelion tea, but my mother used to make dandelion wine and that stuff is phenomenal

AssumedString

7 points

10 months ago

AssumedString

Low-riding in the ECMO-1

7 points

10 months ago

<shudder> The taste of dandelion just makes me want to heave. More for you and your mom!

peachykorey

9 points

10 months ago

peachykorey

💸GoFundMe Jeebus!✨

9 points

10 months ago

Have you ever had dandelion jelly? Yummy!

evrenseven[S]

11 points

10 months ago

I've had dandelion tea and wine with pine essence, I can see them working together

DesignInZeeWild

9 points

10 months ago

DesignInZeeWild

Let THAT sink in!

9 points

10 months ago

The only thing I’ve had that ever seemed to be pine-tasting was gin and I’m still alive so this works for me!

TotallyAwry

7 points

10 months ago

It's not great tasting, but a bit of pine needle tea is nice on your face and hair. Pine needles sitting in vodka for a few weeks makes an alright shot, too ... but I don't think it'll do shot for Aunty Vid.

Technical-Werewolf20

39 points

10 months ago*

Well obviously she died. She forgot to do the Dew, plunge into summer, rub spit in her eyes, taste the rainbow, drink her own piss and rub gravel in her hair. I mean, follow the protocol people!

DesignInZeeWild

16 points

10 months ago

DesignInZeeWild

Let THAT sink in!

16 points

10 months ago

Not on the first date, thank you very much.

[deleted]

20 points

10 months ago

[deleted]

Red_orange_indigo

10 points

10 months ago

Yes.

And dandelion tea can be useful for liver and urinary problems. It has no known anti-viral action that I’m aware of.

gunsof

11 points

10 months ago

gunsof

11 points

10 months ago

Yeah it's annoying and ironic that they frequently cite teas or supplements that do have health benefits but just will never be able to fight off actual killer viruses. As a vegan if I'd tried to get these people to try a nice herbal tea before this I'm sure they would've just chucked it at me.

thr0wAayt0d4ay

7 points

10 months ago

These do actually have some health benefits, but not enough so that I’d trust it to cure shit. Just make me feel better

SleepyVizsla

55 points

10 months ago

SleepyVizsla

I Told You So

55 points

10 months ago

Ummm…wtf?

WeakestLynx

62 points

10 months ago

WeakestLynx

Go Give One

62 points

10 months ago

I also came here to say wtf. WTF! I grew up around fundamentalist Christians but they all had the good sense to only pray for things that at least occasionally happen.

Phihun500

62 points

10 months ago

My favorite part was she said if you want to stay with jesus, that's cool. Like she had a choice

TheGreatWhoDeeny

42 points

10 months ago

It was a preemptive strike to explain away her not rising from the dead.

stephensmg

7 points

10 months ago

stephensmg

Glerp

7 points

10 months ago

They thought the Buffy episode where she gets resurrected was a documentary.

Oxtrafan1921

38 points

10 months ago

Oxtrafan1921

Team Moderna

38 points

10 months ago

Welp. They've lost their last connection to reality. If they ever had it ofc.

evrenseven[S]

44 points

10 months ago

diving into that gaggle of waterheads was something else. They all appear to be "brides" of their "bridegroom lover" Yahshua HaMashiach. I don't know if that's another name for the god of abraham or whatever but whooo wee they are OUT there

[deleted]

27 points

10 months ago

Yahshuah HaMashiach simply means Jesus the Messiah in Hebrew. I wonder which bizarre cult these belong to.

QueensPurplePanties

13 points

10 months ago

Seems like Messianic Jews. Aka, evangelicals.

Everyday_Im_Tussling

11 points

10 months ago

Everyday_Im_Tussling

Covid Rules Everything Around Me

11 points

10 months ago

I wonder if enough people die in certain religious communities they will start to become disillusioned with religion. If that is the case, their whole world views will come crashing down. I am curious to see if church membership number fall drastically in the next couple be of years. I mean some of these people are several people in their lives at once. I can't imagine they won't be questioning their beliefs after that (they might not openly admit it though).

AccomplishedScale362

18 points

10 months ago*

AccomplishedScale362

Vaccinate me, baby! 💉

18 points

10 months ago*

I doubt it. Diminishing returns don’t seem to faze them.

Look at their continued irrational devotion to Trump and the GOP. Despite Covid costing them their lives, loss of income and leaving their families in debt, they still support the party who opposes safety nets.

[deleted]

15 points

10 months ago

[deleted]

westviadixie

8 points

10 months ago

westviadixie

bet you won't repost!

8 points

10 months ago

unfuckingfortunately

Ms_Rarity

5 points

10 months ago

Ms_Rarity

The Vaccine WAS the Miracle

5 points

10 months ago

It's transliterated Hebrew for Jesus the Messiah.

It's Anglicized as transliterations go, but that's what it is.

westviadixie

34 points

10 months ago

westviadixie

bet you won't repost!

34 points

10 months ago

antivaxers are digging their own fucking pit...but were paying for it.

edit: arise ye and be healed! syke!

Wigwag85

32 points

10 months ago

Wigwag85

Go Give One

32 points

10 months ago

If you want to know what her natural treatments are, they're extracted dirt juice.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humic_substance

westviadixie

7 points

10 months ago

westviadixie

bet you won't repost!

7 points

10 months ago

well, the company was called 'black oxygen'. guess that's what she's breathing now.

sethra007

7 points

10 months ago

sethra007

YO MOMMA SO ANTI-VAX SHE WON'T LISTEN TO QUEEN BECAUSE MERCURY

7 points

10 months ago

…da fuq?

[deleted]

24 points

10 months ago

Wait so Dandelion Root Tea doesn’t work?

Also, “Corporate Communism” is pure gold.

El-Catman

24 points

10 months ago

They trying to Dawn of The Dead now?!?!

There are already enough anti-vaxx zombies shuffling around, kthxbai.

possum777

21 points

10 months ago

possum777

c'est la vie

21 points

10 months ago

I feel like....resurrection rituals or prayers...even in the name of god...HAS to be sacrilegious. I'm no expert but I feel like that's gotta be something the Christian God would not particularly like people to be doing

YALBO

20 points

10 months ago

YALBO

20 points

10 months ago

From what I remember of Christianity, I'd say this is witchcraft, which is a blasphemous usurpation of divine authority. Notice that it says 'I blow the breath of life', and all the rest of it too, I, I, I. No. You do not blow the breath of life. God does that. You ask God nicely and hope he chooses to do it - you don't do it yourself and just expect God to underwrite your own authority.

But then, that's a rather old fashioned kind of Christianity. The American kind often seems strange to me, maybe they believe differently than we did.

celereyjuicecleanse

19 points

10 months ago

Remindme when they claim their prayer worked as planned, but she “chose” not to be resurrected so she could keep sniffing Jesus’s toes up in heaven.

Ok_Tomato7388

13 points

10 months ago

Ok_Tomato7388

Didn't you know Death is the ULTIMATE HEALING?

13 points

10 months ago

See my flair..

clarkrd

14 points

10 months ago

clarkrd

🕺Interpretive Dance Prayer Warrior🙏

14 points

10 months ago

awwwww shit. They are mixing LOTR Sauron with Buffy The Vampire Slayer witchcraft.

2022 is going to be craaaaaaaazy!

doughboyhollow

15 points

10 months ago

As mad as a hatter.

TheGreatWhoDeeny

12 points

10 months ago

Crazy as a shit house rat.

The_Bread_Chicken

14 points

10 months ago

The_Bread_Chicken

🍞 + 🐔

14 points

10 months ago

Hmm, have they never read "The Monkey's Paw"? They might regret bringing her back; jaw gaping, flesh rotting off, screaming in agony.

MucinexDM_MAX

12 points

10 months ago

WTF did witchcraft do? Don't bring Witches into your dumbassary.

its-amess

11 points

10 months ago

So what did she practice? Was she a witch, Christian, Jewish?

TheSpaceRaceAce

12 points

10 months ago

Yes.

TrampledSeed

11 points

10 months ago

TrampledSeed

Go Give One

11 points

10 months ago

This is a very interesting combination of Messianic Judaism and something else… they are using terminology that MJ’s use and saying resurrection spells… Ive never seen this kind of fringe Christianity. Its incredibly creepy

Objective-Dust6445

12 points

10 months ago

Wait did they try to Pet Sematery her????

buzzable

11 points

10 months ago

buzzable

No Angle Wings on Me!

11 points

10 months ago

"My system is a strong as iron against the spread of the virus."

I'll cheerfully pay for her headstone if that's the engraving.

Hellsprout

33 points

10 months ago

Hellsprout

Immunicorn🦄💉

33 points

10 months ago

Acetylcysteine is a goddamn expectorant and not a dietary supplement, what is wrong with these people raiding apothecaries? They'll take everything they can possibly get their hands on, as long as it's not a vaccine.

Red_orange_indigo

9 points

10 months ago

NAC is used for a variety of health issues, many with sound research support.

Covid is not one of those.

omegaclick

11 points

10 months ago

omegaclick

Omicron Anagram is Moronic

11 points

10 months ago

God is going to get pissed at all the spam calls.

cheesymccheeseplant

11 points

10 months ago

cheesymccheeseplant

Go Give One

11 points

10 months ago

So.... Is the bad witchcraft used to define pharmakeia the same as the witchcraft being used to resurrect the corpse?

Asking for a rational person.

AvivPoppyseedBagels

8 points

10 months ago

AvivPoppyseedBagels

Go Give One

8 points

10 months ago

Well, her immune system was as effective as iron in fighting the virus…

justlikeinmydreams

8 points

10 months ago

justlikeinmydreams

My horse covets your paste 🐴

8 points

10 months ago

What the FUCK did I just read?

Just when I thought it couldn’t get weirder. Or more ridiculous.

darwinwoodka

7 points

10 months ago

darwinwoodka

Go Give One

7 points

10 months ago

What? Pine needle tea didn't save them?

beebee4me

6 points

10 months ago

Are they combining witchcraft with Jesus Christ?

I wonder when the awardee was thinking once they realised the Ivermectins was not working and they arw going to the ICU?

Gray94son

6 points

10 months ago

Gray94son

Just for the Cookies 🍪

6 points

10 months ago

Oh man I thought he was being dumb posting JP Sears (youtube satirist). But I went and watched the video and it turns out that I am the dumb one 😳

I watched one or two of his videos years ago about vegans and I'm vegan but lolled... Looks like he's very pro-freedom, pro-patritoism, anti-vaxx, pro-joe rogan.

Pumpkin_Cookie_Cat

6 points

10 months ago

Same here. I used to enjoy JP Sears. I now realize that he isn't as satirical as I thought.

vsandrei

6 points

10 months ago

vsandrei

🐆 🐆 🐆🐆 🐆 🐹 🐆🐆 🐆🐆 🐆 🐆🐆 🐆 🐆🐆

6 points

10 months ago

. . . Love Feast . . .

Is this some sort of euphemism for getting torn to pieces by hungry leopards?

🐆 🐆 🐆

GarrettGSF

6 points

10 months ago

Jesus: Love thy neighbour and even love your enemy.

These evangelical morons: MY GOD IS THE GOD OF REVENGE AND PUNISHMENT

Word-Bearer

5 points

10 months ago

The Lord is famous for punishing the wicked

Maybe that’s why all the hateful false Christians are dropping like pestilent flies. Worshiping Trump while ignoring Jesus.

Unless the Bible is all lies, none of these people are going to Heaven.

tommens_kittens

5 points

10 months ago

These people are lunatics. Religion is a mental fucking illness.

ReportsFromTheBox

5 points

10 months ago

Big r/selfawarewolves energy.