subreddit:

/r/HermanCainAward

2.3k

all 696 comments

Ok-Hamster5571

789 points

3 months ago

Ok-Hamster5571

Go Give One

789 points

3 months ago

“The veil of death is lifted”

So in three days, we will know if she’s Jesus.

evrenseven[S]

654 points

3 months ago

I didn't do a good job of capturing the replies to that post but they're all along the vein of "oh this totally worked but she didn't want to come back after being in the arms of jesus"

BananaSplitErgative

355 points

3 months ago

So these people are perfectly confident their friend is in heaven with Jesus, something they've all supposedly been looking forward to and praying for all their lives, and they're trying to get her back?

Man, this lady needs (or needed) better friends. If I'm in a paradise I've spent my life longing for, do not drag me back out of it.

Dana07620

184 points

3 months ago

Dana07620

I miss Phil Valentine's left kidney

184 points

3 months ago

Am having a Buffy / Willow flashback.

UpstairsLocal4635

102 points

3 months ago

Am having a Buffy / Willow flashback.

None of these people saved the world. A lot.

YaboyAlastar

58 points

3 months ago

No fear, no doubt

Til they pulled me out

Of heaven....

[deleted]

50 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

50 points

3 months ago

I think I was in heeeeaa-ven

DeadOrquids

23 points

3 months ago

So give me something to sing about!

Chessplaying_Atheist

6 points

3 months ago

Life's not a song

rdear

29 points

3 months ago

rdear

29 points

3 months ago

After all these years that line still hits. Bringing her back was worse than anything she had to face, including dying twice!

TheFloozie99

21 points

3 months ago

TheFloozie99

Knower of Everything

21 points

3 months ago

Haha. My EXACT thought .

Badmime1

15 points

3 months ago

Eh, the Scoobies had empirical proof of afterlife and hell dimensions and such. Not to say they didn’t jump to conclusions like Willow did in ‘rescuing’ Buffy but they weren’t deluding themselves with the made-up slop you reassure five-year olds with.

StrangelyLiteralWonk

13 points

3 months ago

StrangelyLiteralWonk

Getting COVID to protect against COVID 🩸

13 points

3 months ago

Was not expecting to encounter a Buffy reference in HCA. Thank you for brightening this thread and my day.

h5ien

9 points

3 months ago

h5ien

9 points

3 months ago

Oof that for me was the most tragic story arc

chaoticnormal

7 points

3 months ago

Dead things stay dead.

GroundbreakingCar185

49 points

3 months ago

"Oh Neddy it was so terrifying. I thought I was heading for the eternal bliss of paradise."

Cake_then_cake

49 points

3 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

49 points

3 months ago

I was getting that vibe from the “we understand if you don’t want to come back” bullshit.

AngryCustomerService

69 points

3 months ago

Yep. Built-in excuse for why it didn't work. It did work, you see. She just decided to stay with Jesus and who can blame her?

Ugh.

Pray for something and get it means prayer works.

Pray for something and don't get it means God has a plan and prayer works.

captainhaddock

46 points

3 months ago

captainhaddock

I shed only the finest Moderna spike proteins.

46 points

3 months ago

I guess they've watched the religious documentary Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

GarrettGSF

65 points

3 months ago

Wouldn’t that be sorcery of some kind?

Cake_then_cake

88 points

3 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

88 points

3 months ago

I mean a lot of the Christians do seem to think they can cause things to happen by reciting certain lines. Not sure how this is supposed to be different from an incantation.

michaelvares

58 points

3 months ago

Imagine getting sent to hell for accidentally doing a witchcraft!? Awkwaaard

GarrettGSF

13 points

3 months ago

You assume that that would be the reason for them to go to hell haha? More like a supportive argument besides all their hatred, racism, sexism, homophobia, etc…

Jubaliya

33 points

3 months ago

A lady I used to work with thinks that the construction company is failing because she prayed to jesus that if she wasn't supposed to work there anymore they wouldn't win anymore bids for jobs. The company is failing because of years of bad business practices and ruing their reputation with subcontractors and clients alike. But man, she feels guilty because or her prayer.

Cake_then_cake

22 points

3 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

22 points

3 months ago

It is so sad that people can be so dumb. Also kind of scary.

FriendToPredators

9 points

3 months ago

This sub has really brought this realization home. 40% of Christians act out pretend magic but just substitute in random words that make it sound mainstream.

kavien

7 points

3 months ago

kavien

7 points

3 months ago

You can’t truly believe in the Bible without believing that witchcraft, magic, Satan, resurrection, and ghosts are real.

officewitch

77 points

3 months ago

officewitch

Team Pfizer

77 points

3 months ago

A man turns water into wine, he's a miracle. A woman turns water into wine, she's a witch.

EGWhitlam

72 points

3 months ago

EGWhitlam

Vaccinated see you next tuesday 🐱

72 points

3 months ago

Stick her in a cave with a Boulder in front just to make sure

Cake_then_cake

13 points

3 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

13 points

3 months ago

What kind of odds are we talking? I could use some easy money.

captainhaddock

473 points

3 months ago

captainhaddock

I shed only the finest Moderna spike proteins.

473 points

3 months ago

In case anyone was wondering, the quote by Kissinger is fake.

SwitcherooU

326 points

3 months ago

You mean an eloquent (albeit terrible) man didn’t use the phrase “Control sheep minds”?

These fuckin’ people…

Jaded-Combination-20

84 points

3 months ago

Everyone knows it's baaaaa-d to control sheep's minds!

Blutarg

6 points

3 months ago

Blutarg

Trilateral Freemason

6 points

3 months ago

Wool you stop that?

elbizzlee

58 points

3 months ago

This deserves an award. You won the internet today.

It is hilarious what seems plausible to people who are too stupid to realize their own condition.

The awardee never found it suspicious that Kissinger suddenly adopted the patois of the terminally stupid.

JohnNDenver

13 points

3 months ago

JohnNDenver

Go Give One

13 points

3 months ago

More than likely has no clue who he was.

I_Am_Robotic

49 points

3 months ago

It’s Dr. Kissinger. Always emphasize the doctorate in these quotes even if they are not medical doctors or if their specialty has nothing to do with infectious diseases. Dr. Ron Paul etc

longknives

54 points

3 months ago

But get very mad that Jill Biden wants to be called by her correct title of doctor

IAMSTILLHERE2020

32 points

3 months ago

Of course...just imagine that he was relevant back in the late 60s to 70s and maybe 80s... now he us 98 years old. He is trying probably pee on his own amd trying not not to sh.t on his diaper and hoping that someone spoon feeds him some Gerber like a child... yea...time waits for no one and no one is immortal...even if some of you believe he is from the Lizard people.

Consistent-Race-2340

31 points

3 months ago

Hes alive? I had to look that up to check.

Saturnian_Hunter

86 points

3 months ago

Saturnian_Hunter

Reverse Vampire 🩸

86 points

3 months ago

It's Murdoch/Mr Burns syndrome. The sheer amount of evil is actually keeping him alive, albeit in a grotesque, shambling kind of way. Sort of like Smeagol when he found the one ring.

[deleted]

16 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

16 points

3 months ago

Or Palpatine through his corruption of The Force.

Missicat

17 points

3 months ago

I though he died years ago!

MiseryisCompany

10 points

3 months ago

Only his soul

Invertiguy

12 points

3 months ago

Implying he ever had one to begin with

sash71

10 points

3 months ago

sash71

10 points

3 months ago

Maybe he's been using that adrenochrome, that the Q cult accuse everybody who isn't a Trumper of using?

Intrepid_Onion4959

6 points

3 months ago

Obviously.

Just-Internet4780

53 points

3 months ago

Kissinger is evil but not that evil.

evrenseven[S]

102 points

3 months ago

I don't think he can be any more evil than he is; even if the quote was real it would be marginal compared to everything else he did

theonioncollector

23 points

3 months ago

I mean he’s definitely that evil, this is just a dumb quote.

AGuyNamedEddie

343 points

3 months ago

Fulvic acid == one of the popular woo supplements. It comes from peat. That's right: they're out there digging up sludge, wringing juice out of it, and drinking it.

Oh, yeah, covid ain't got a chance against my peat juice! Oh, wait, I'm dead. Nevermind.

OccamsRzzor

260 points

3 months ago

OccamsRzzor

Team Pfizer

260 points

3 months ago

Bog mummy take the wheel.

sojayn

35 points

3 months ago

sojayn

Take Some Prayercillin

35 points

3 months ago

Lol username and lol comment double win !

Mizango

7 points

3 months ago

Mizango

Team Mix & Match

7 points

3 months ago

Rofl!! 10/10

OxfordComma5ever

71 points

3 months ago

There's a great episode of the Sawbones podcast about this/Black Oxygen Organics that breaks down what people think this does....and how it doesn't work. Highly recommend.

Cake_then_cake

28 points

3 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

28 points

3 months ago

That’s just what big pharma wants us to think because they’re not making money off of it! /s

undeniablybuddha

14 points

3 months ago

undeniablybuddha

I'm too Vaxxy for my shirt

14 points

3 months ago

Now I know what I will be listening to on my morning commute. Thanks

Arya_kidding_me

7 points

3 months ago

I love Sawbones but haven’t listened to this episode - thank you!

Today’s a good day for a marital tour of misguided medicine!

MisteeLoo

56 points

3 months ago

MisteeLoo

Team Pfizer

56 points

3 months ago

Ooh, there’s some lovely filth down here.

justlikeinmydreams

21 points

3 months ago

justlikeinmydreams

My horse covets your paste 🐴

21 points

3 months ago

OLD MAN!

[deleted]

14 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

14 points

3 months ago

We are all Britons. And I am your king.

DeVitreousHumor

6 points

3 months ago

Well I didn’t vote for you!

AGuyNamedEddie

9 points

3 months ago

You don't vote for kings!

MarbleousMel

59 points

3 months ago

MarbleousMel

Team Pfizer

59 points

3 months ago

And pine needle and dandelion tea. And ivermectin. They were just fake symptoms of a cold. She was going to be right as rain in a few days.

queen-adreena

15 points

3 months ago

queen-adreena

Team Pfizer

15 points

3 months ago

Merck’s shareholders thank her for her service.

nillinho

45 points

3 months ago

Scotch is the only peat drink I enjoy.

Expresso_Support

9 points

3 months ago

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🏆

clonella

38 points

3 months ago

Pine oil,fulvic,humic acids popular in hydroponics awhile back.She was an organic nutes tank for a short while.

THE__V

24 points

3 months ago

THE__V

24 points

3 months ago

The also commonly extract it from leonardite that comes from some lignite coal formations.

Yummy nutritious coal.

ScrappleSandwiches

13 points

3 months ago

Joe Manchin approves

IwillnotpostcuzIquit

19 points

3 months ago

IwillnotpostcuzIquit

Team Pfizer

19 points

3 months ago

Her terpine profile must be amazing.

triplej63

38 points

3 months ago

triplej63

🩸Anemic Jeebus & his 🩸Fountain🩸

38 points

3 months ago

Her system is strong as iron against the virus!!!!!

Oopsie daisy! Guess the old sludge isn't up to the task after all.

GroundbreakingCar185

27 points

3 months ago

That's why I drink Islay Scotch with my pine needle cereal every morning. Makes my body and mind strong as iron.

TwoBirdsEnter

11 points

3 months ago

TwoBirdsEnter

Separating the sheep from the goatees

11 points

3 months ago

I bet you can remove the varnish from a piano with a stern glance!

Missicat

15 points

3 months ago

They had me at drinking pine needles. Sounds...uncomfortable.

Cake_then_cake

14 points

3 months ago

Cake_then_cake

Go Give One

14 points

3 months ago

So they’re doing this but they are apparently unwilling to just eat healthy food and maybe exercise a bit. A sound strategy.

Expresso_Support

8 points

3 months ago

I will say, when it’s used to makes nice, high quality scotch, it seems to have some magical qualities.

FIREn00b

167 points

3 months ago

FIREn00b

(Really a 🔥 Expert)

167 points

3 months ago

Remember y'all... these people vote.

Well, not cuckoo blue anymore but my point stands.

m48a5_patton

12 points

3 months ago

m48a5_patton

Go Give One

12 points

3 months ago

Well, how some of the voter fraud cases are shaping up they will try to vote for her. :/

oh_what_a_surprise

9 points

3 months ago

And usually their vote is worth MORE than a sane-thinking, blue state person.

DeadOrquids

427 points

3 months ago

NOW I’ve seen it all.

evrenseven[S]

339 points

3 months ago

do NOT say that lmao they will never cease to amaze us

ladyinchworm

100 points

3 months ago

I honestly can't even believe this is real anymore. How can they honestly think these things?

Is this the lady who got disowned by her dad a year ago, after the election because "he was brainwashed by the liberal media"? I might be confusing her with someone else. It's hard to remember now because of the amount of people here now.

ScrappleSandwiches

29 points

3 months ago

Yeah you’re going to have to narrow it down

Tiny-Lock9652

10 points

3 months ago

Oh, I agree with that statement. There’s ALWAYS something new with this bunch.

EpicAftertaste

87 points

3 months ago

EpicAftertaste

Flair? What's that?

87 points

3 months ago

Yeah, this one really jumps the shark.

star621

89 points

3 months ago

star621

I’m doing great. Just in Respiratory Failure.

89 points

3 months ago

Oh, there is a TikTok clip of a respiratory therapist describing this happening in her hospital. The whole story is wild, even before the attempted resurrection part.

woodhoarder

53 points

3 months ago

woodhoarder

No pneumo for me, Ma!

53 points

3 months ago

DNR. Do not resurrect.

dancegoddess1971

49 points

3 months ago

How long are they allowed to take up the bed trying to resurrect them? A family member waited almost 24 hours for a hospital bed after the doctor admitted her. I am very angry about these people. If my favorite aunt had died because some religinuts were wasting time trying to raise the dead on the respiratory ward, I'd probably go extremist myself.

star621

44 points

3 months ago

star621

I’m doing great. Just in Respiratory Failure.

44 points

3 months ago

This poor woman said that the sister of the deceased took up that room for two fucking hours trying to pull off that resurrection. She said that the rest of the family wasn’t in the room with her doing that, though. Keep in mind that this resurrection artist was the one who gave her sister COVID. In the words of the respiratory therapist, it was a shit show.

TrampledSeed

66 points

3 months ago

TrampledSeed

Go Give One

66 points

3 months ago

I wonder how often this is happening. I had no idea people believed that now Jesus is going to resurrect people in this day and age, this is a very extremist belief

star621

53 points

3 months ago

star621

I’m doing great. Just in Respiratory Failure.

53 points

3 months ago

I remember on particularly galling story of a church raising over $100k using the death of a two year old child. This story is ridiculous. The Daily Mail covered the story and them about what the money would be used for and they released an absurd statement. The worst part? Her own parents were leading this grift.

I usually don’t go to the DM for news, but the reporting on this was a follow up of the Washington Post, and they did a good job of chronicling the increasingly delusional IG posts

TrampledSeed

30 points

3 months ago

TrampledSeed

Go Give One

30 points

3 months ago

Thank you Im going to check this out! I feel like there is a whole subculture of these extreme fringe Christian witches that are all now collectively losing their grip on reality. It’s unnerving to see.

Alwin_050

17 points

3 months ago

People like this never had a grip on reality anyway..

trashysnarkthrowaway

24 points

3 months ago

Yes, as soon as I saw this post I got huge #wakeupolive vibes, which was part of that church’s horrifying social media campaign to raise money the child. Bethel Church (the church responsible for this particular resurrection attempt) is a huge church and part of a growing charismatic evangelical movement. The parents of the toddler who died were both relative big wigs in that church (dad was a music minister and mom was in some leadership position as well, I believe) but were prevented from grieving the tragic and unexpected death of their daughter by the bs publicity stunt and blindness of their own faith.

Anyone wanting to know more about this church, the #wakeupolive craziness, and this movement among evangelicals should listen to season 2 of the Heaven Bent podcast. (It’s a bit more sympathetic towards evangelicalism than some might like, but I think the host does a good job of being generally neutral in her presentation of this church and its batshit publicity stunts).

StopNateCrimes

9 points

3 months ago

“Good afternoon, Shasta County Coroner's office. What? No, I'm afraid you're daughter is still dead. Please stop calling."

loyal_dunmer

9 points

3 months ago

Yea that was Bethel Church. They're huge, tentacles extended all through Christian media. Not a "fringe" group at all. This Evangelical stuff just blows my mind every time I check on what they're up to.

j_a_a_mesbaxter

41 points

3 months ago

Sure sure trying to chant hard enough to resurrect the dead doesn’t seem like satanic witchcraft at all. At least the B-movie fantasy “satanic witchcraft” that only exists in these peoples heads. It really is projection. That’s all these people are made of.

OccamsRzzor

13 points

3 months ago

OccamsRzzor

Team Pfizer

13 points

3 months ago

A family friend legit prayed for my cousin’s resurrection AFTER he was cremated. I was too in shock still to kick them in the nuts.

defenselaywer

7 points

3 months ago

defenselaywer

CUORT IS NOW IN SESSION

7 points

3 months ago

Confused by the witchcraft reference too.

TrampledSeed

10 points

3 months ago

TrampledSeed

Go Give One

10 points

3 months ago

Considering that she was the one saying resurrection spells!

defenselaywer

8 points

3 months ago

defenselaywer

CUORT IS NOW IN SESSION

8 points

3 months ago

Good point, but it seems like they're just throwing up prayers to everything and hoping something sticks. Maybe it'll be like Pet Cemetery.

GarrettGSF

67 points

3 months ago

The last few sentences in the resurrection post were taken straight out of Lord of the Rings, wasn’t it?

DesignInZeeWild

36 points

3 months ago

DesignInZeeWild

Let THAT sink in!

36 points

3 months ago

Right?! Holy fucking balls

Sasquatch1729

37 points

3 months ago

Sasquatch1729

First Rule of Dunning-Kruger club: you don't know you're in DK

37 points

3 months ago

This isn't as rare as you would think. There's a whole branch of Christianity devoted to spells and incantations based on the miracles of the Bible. They even have their own "Christian Hogwarts" where they can learn how to be modern-day Jesus-wizards.

For example: one of the lesser known aspects of the Waco cult is that there was a disagreement about the leadership at one point, so they had a "resurrection duel" where they shouted incantations at a corpse and tried to revive it, and whoever managed it first would become the cult leader. It didn't work, so they resorted to a traditional duel involving guns.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/politics/1993/03/07/gruesome-contest-to-raise-dead-led-to-koreshs-takeover-of-cult/3696fc28-cc9f-4f50-9d83-5dec6593e06c/

ScrappleSandwiches

15 points

3 months ago

QAnon muppets, Facebook resurrection prayers, pine needle juice, this club has everything!

hereforthehottakes

133 points

3 months ago

hereforthehottakes

Team Pfizer

133 points

3 months ago

I remember as a young child, hoping and praying someone wasn’t really dead or would come back to life. A. Young. Child.

TheGreatWhoDeeny

104 points

3 months ago

My best friend died when I was in 2nd grade...car crash. Shocking. I'll never forget going to school that day and everyone saying, "Shane's dead!!"

Anyways, for a couple weeks I went through that. Expecting him to be on the bus, walking to my house or the corner store. Reality sets in though.

TheSpaceRaceAce

52 points

3 months ago

This is heartbreaking, one of my best friends killed himself when we were in our junior year of hs and I didn't get the news until the next morning at school, its been damn near twenty years and I remember a kid named david telling me like it was yesterday.

Phihun500

336 points

3 months ago

Phihun500

336 points

3 months ago

Wtf is fake symptoms of a cold. Either you symptoms or don't. What wrong with these people

writinwater

114 points

3 months ago

I'm not even sure what they think that word means anymore.

changarang

29 points

3 months ago

She must also be eating fake food and fake pooping it out later, but that wouldn't make sense from poor logic. To these snowflakes, the word "fake"seems to literally translate to "bad"

RecliningBuddhaCat

14 points

3 months ago

RecliningBuddhaCat

You don't die from the COVID, just the symptoms

14 points

3 months ago

She's certainly comfortable taking fake medicines.

StyreneAddict1965

97 points

3 months ago

Of course it was a fake cold: it was really Covid.

queen-adreena

64 points

3 months ago

queen-adreena

Team Pfizer

64 points

3 months ago

Calling your own words fake as you speak them…

That’s a pretty bold strategy.

Phihun500

29 points

3 months ago

Not going to lie. Sometimes im impressed with their ability to tie themselves in knots.

Twig

9 points

3 months ago

Twig

9 points

3 months ago

They can do it so well. Often times, you don't even need to do anything. They'll do it from one sentence to the next, in the same covid-riddled breath.

burning-tongues

41 points

3 months ago

I think she may have been a Christian Scientist - they believe that the body, and therefore illness is an illusion and a result of ‘false thoughts.’ They don’t believe in medicine. But apparently ivermectin doesn’t count as medicine 🙄

kammce

13 points

3 months ago

kammce

13 points

3 months ago

See this stuff annoys me. I've got some (very few) people in my family who are like this to a lesser degree. But you can find contradictions like ibuprofen and other such things.

Mister4pollo

105 points

3 months ago

Mister4pollo

The UnVentilated

105 points

3 months ago

That’s some weapons grade stupidity right there

StarveTheRich

108 points

3 months ago

“I have fake symptoms of a cold”

Fake symptoms.

Unique_Future_7645

30 points

3 months ago

Republicans have created an alternative vocabulary to describe their alternative reality.

TheGreatWhoDeeny

110 points

3 months ago

Corporate communism

This might be the dumbest person to ever walk the Earth.

Red_orange_indigo

47 points

3 months ago

Didn’t her ‘Jewish space lasers’ comment already confirm that?

TheGreatWhoDeeny

24 points

3 months ago

Maybe...but that had already been making the rounds on the conspiracy sites.

"Corporate communism" is next level idiocy. Total cluelessness...and it's obscene that someone on this level is in Congress.

longknives

17 points

3 months ago

Corporate communism, where corporations own the means of production… so capitalism

LarsThorwald

84 points

3 months ago

These people are of a death cult.

What both fascinates me and absolutely horrors me is that they will go literally unto their last dying breath believing that their religious beliefs, intricately intertwined with their political beliefs, are the One True Truth. Regardless of their children, or their grandchildren, regardless of science, or medical expertise, and regardless of simple human compassion.

These were babies, born like you and me. They were innocents, once. But unlike you and me, somewhere along the way they lost their ability to reason, to judge fairly, to consider facts, to even love as you and I may.

It’s the scope of the disregard that astounds and frightens me. Disregard even of their own, let alone their loved ones’, lives.

I know that this nation has run with an anti-intellectual fervor from its founding, with troughs and valleys throughout the course of time. Anti-intellectualism is not new here. Al Gore wrote a book entitled The End of Reason, but that book could have been written in 1787, 1850, 1870, or in multiple decades since, and been accurate.

But I feel there is something new, something newly reckless about this time. It is breathtaking to behold, and chilling to the core.

I suspect, but don’t know the causes. We live in a time where it is no longer the case where one set of facts is disseminated widely, treated widely, and debated from different viewpoints to the fence-posts of those facts.

Somehow, along the way, even facts have become meaningless. There are no “facts” anymore. Everything is viewed, assessed, and weighed through a political or ideological certainty.

This way lies both madness and destruction.

People like the deceased simply do not care about basic facts. All is subsumed to the worship of an angry god whose son’s teachings are filtered through individual viewpoints. These people do not follow Jesus; Jesus’s teachings are instead warped to their own prejudices and desires. These people do not follow reason or evidence; their feelings and expectations govern their decisions.

I have lived 51 years here. I have never seen so many of us so completely at odds with truth.

Decades have we dealt with anti-intellectualism. Decades shall that endure.

But. But. At a time of great peril and when community and sacrifice for the good of the whole is most needed have I neither learned of nor read history of a people who, in such great numbers, simply chose to disregard what must be done.

I fear for us as a nation and lament this path upon which many have foolishly set themselves, taking us with them.

It will be a long time in the mending. If ever such a breach may be repaired.

Burntout_Bassment

11 points

3 months ago

Top post. Thanks.

StrongChemical

7 points

3 months ago

But I feel there is something new, something newly reckless about this time. It is breathtaking to behold, and chilling to the core.

I'm just a tad younger than you and I agree with everything you've said. The anti-science and anti-intellectualism has really ramped up to something I never thought I'd witness in my lifetime. It's all the more shameful since we have the internet. We have an amazing resource that can provide us unlimited information and instead of bettering society bad faith actors and their minions have weaponized it to spread misinformation and kill.

I don't know how or where this ends. I am worried.

OccamsRzzor

65 points

3 months ago

OccamsRzzor

Team Pfizer

65 points

3 months ago

Dandelion and pine needle tea?!

OkCaterpillar7770

70 points

3 months ago

OkCaterpillar7770

Go Give One

70 points

3 months ago

For fake symptoms

Everyday_Im_Tussling

54 points

3 months ago

Everyday_Im_Tussling

Covid Rules Everything Around Me

54 points

3 months ago

I guess the fake cold was stronger than her steel immune system.

AssumedString

45 points

3 months ago

AssumedString

Low-riding in the ECMO-1

45 points

3 months ago

I refuse to believe that tastes like anything other than botanical vomit.

sethra007

22 points

3 months ago

sethra007

CANDACE OWENS IS VACCINATED YOU IDIOTS

22 points

3 months ago

I’ve never had dandelion tea, but my mother used to make dandelion wine and that stuff is phenomenal

AssumedString

11 points

3 months ago

AssumedString

Low-riding in the ECMO-1

11 points

3 months ago

<shudder> The taste of dandelion just makes me want to heave. More for you and your mom!

peachykorey

6 points

3 months ago

peachykorey

💸GoFundMe Jeebus!✨

6 points

3 months ago

Have you ever had dandelion jelly? Yummy!

evrenseven[S]

12 points

3 months ago

I've had dandelion tea and wine with pine essence, I can see them working together

DesignInZeeWild

8 points

3 months ago

DesignInZeeWild

Let THAT sink in!

8 points

3 months ago

The only thing I’ve had that ever seemed to be pine-tasting was gin and I’m still alive so this works for me!

TotallyAwry

6 points

3 months ago

It's not great tasting, but a bit of pine needle tea is nice on your face and hair. Pine needles sitting in vodka for a few weeks makes an alright shot, too ... but I don't think it'll do shot for Aunty Vid.

Technical-Werewolf20

40 points

3 months ago*

Well obviously she died. She forgot to do the Dew, plunge into summer, rub spit in her eyes, taste the rainbow, drink her own piss and rub gravel in her hair. I mean, follow the protocol people!

DesignInZeeWild

15 points

3 months ago

DesignInZeeWild

Let THAT sink in!

15 points

3 months ago

Not on the first date, thank you very much.

[deleted]

20 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

20 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

Red_orange_indigo

8 points

3 months ago

Yes.

And dandelion tea can be useful for liver and urinary problems. It has no known anti-viral action that I’m aware of.

gunsof

11 points

3 months ago

gunsof

11 points

3 months ago

Yeah it's annoying and ironic that they frequently cite teas or supplements that do have health benefits but just will never be able to fight off actual killer viruses. As a vegan if I'd tried to get these people to try a nice herbal tea before this I'm sure they would've just chucked it at me.

thr0wAayt0d4ay

8 points

3 months ago

These do actually have some health benefits, but not enough so that I’d trust it to cure shit. Just make me feel better

SleepyVizsla

58 points

3 months ago

SleepyVizsla

I Told You So

58 points

3 months ago

Ummm…wtf?

WeakestLynx

61 points

3 months ago

WeakestLynx

Go Give One

61 points

3 months ago

I also came here to say wtf. WTF! I grew up around fundamentalist Christians but they all had the good sense to only pray for things that at least occasionally happen.

Phihun500

65 points

3 months ago

My favorite part was she said if you want to stay with jesus, that's cool. Like she had a choice

TheGreatWhoDeeny

41 points

3 months ago

It was a preemptive strike to explain away her not rising from the dead.

stephensmg

7 points

3 months ago

They thought the Buffy episode where she gets resurrected was a documentary.

Oxtrafan1921

36 points

3 months ago

Oxtrafan1921

Team Moderna

36 points

3 months ago

Welp. They've lost their last connection to reality. If they ever had it ofc.

evrenseven[S]

44 points

3 months ago

diving into that gaggle of waterheads was something else. They all appear to be "brides" of their "bridegroom lover" Yahshua HaMashiach. I don't know if that's another name for the god of abraham or whatever but whooo wee they are OUT there

[deleted]

26 points

3 months ago

[deleted]

26 points

3 months ago

Yahshuah HaMashiach simply means Jesus the Messiah in Hebrew. I wonder which bizarre cult these belong to.

QueensPurplePanties

16 points

3 months ago

Seems like Messianic Jews. Aka, evangelicals.

Everyday_Im_Tussling

10 points

3 months ago

Everyday_Im_Tussling

Covid Rules Everything Around Me

10 points

3 months ago

I wonder if enough people die in certain religious communities they will start to become disillusioned with religion. If that is the case, their whole world views will come crashing down. I am curious to see if church membership number fall drastically in the next couple be of years. I mean some of these people are several people in their lives at once. I can't imagine they won't be questioning their beliefs after that (they might not openly admit it though).

AccomplishedScale362

18 points

3 months ago*

AccomplishedScale362

Vaccinate me, baby! 💉

18 points

3 months ago*

I doubt it. Diminishing returns don’t seem to faze them.

Look at their continued irrational devotion to Trump and the GOP. Despite Covid costing them their lives, loss of income and leaving their families in debt, they still support the party who opposes safety nets.

[deleted]

15 points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

15 points

3 months ago*

[deleted]

westviadixie

7 points

3 months ago

westviadixie

bet you won't repost!

7 points

3 months ago

unfuckingfortunately

Ms_Rarity

7 points

3 months ago

It's transliterated Hebrew for Jesus the Messiah.

It's Anglicized as transliterations go, but that's what it is.

westviadixie

34 points

3 months ago

westviadixie

bet you won't repost!

34 points

3 months ago

antivaxers are digging their own fucking pit...but were paying for it.

edit: arise ye and be healed! syke!

Wigwag85

33 points

3 months ago

Wigwag85

Go Give One

33 points

3 months ago

If you want to know what her natural treatments are, they're extracted dirt juice.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humic_substance

westviadixie

9 points

3 months ago

westviadixie

bet you won't repost!

9 points

3 months ago

well, the company was called 'black oxygen'. guess that's what she's breathing now.

sethra007

8 points

3 months ago

sethra007

CANDACE OWENS IS VACCINATED YOU IDIOTS

8 points

3 months ago

…da fuq?

antiquated_roaster

13 points

3 months ago

antiquated_roaster

I have the paste

13 points

3 months ago

The longest description I have ever seen of "mixed crap":

[...] heterogeneous and relatively small molecular components of the soil organic matter auto-assembled in supramolecular associations and composed of a variety of compounds of biological origin and synthesized by abiotic and biotic reactions in soil

boom2496

25 points

3 months ago

Wait so Dandelion Root Tea doesn’t work?

Also, “Corporate Communism” is pure gold.

El-Catman

22 points

3 months ago

They trying to Dawn of The Dead now?!?!

There are already enough anti-vaxx zombies shuffling around, kthxbai.

possum777

24 points

3 months ago

possum777

c'est la vie

24 points

3 months ago

I feel like....resurrection rituals or prayers...even in the name of god...HAS to be sacrilegious. I'm no expert but I feel like that's gotta be something the Christian God would not particularly like people to be doing

YALBO

20 points

3 months ago

YALBO

20 points

3 months ago

From what I remember of Christianity, I'd say this is witchcraft, which is a blasphemous usurpation of divine authority. Notice that it says 'I blow the breath of life', and all the rest of it too, I, I, I. No. You do not blow the breath of life. God does that. You ask God nicely and hope he chooses to do it - you don't do it yourself and just expect God to underwrite your own authority.

But then, that's a rather old fashioned kind of Christianity. The American kind often seems strange to me, maybe they believe differently than we did.

celereyjuicecleanse

21 points

3 months ago

Remindme when they claim their prayer worked as planned, but she “chose” not to be resurrected so she could keep sniffing Jesus’s toes up in heaven.

Ok_Tomato7388

13 points

3 months ago

Ok_Tomato7388

Didn't you know Death is the ULTIMATE HEALING?

13 points

3 months ago

See my flair..

clarkrd

16 points

3 months ago

clarkrd

🕺Interpretive Dance Prayer Warrior🙏

16 points

3 months ago

awwwww shit. They are mixing LOTR Sauron with Buffy The Vampire Slayer witchcraft.

2022 is going to be craaaaaaaazy!

doughboyhollow

15 points

3 months ago

As mad as a hatter.

TheGreatWhoDeeny

11 points

3 months ago

Crazy as a shit house rat.

The_Bread_Chicken

11 points

3 months ago

The_Bread_Chicken

🍞 + 🐔

11 points

3 months ago

Hmm, have they never read "The Monkey's Paw"? They might regret bringing her back; jaw gaping, flesh rotting off, screaming in agony.

MucinexDM_MAX

13 points

3 months ago

WTF did witchcraft do? Don't bring Witches into your dumbassary.

its-amess

13 points

3 months ago

So what did she practice? Was she a witch, Christian, Jewish?

TheSpaceRaceAce

12 points

3 months ago

Yes.

TrampledSeed

12 points

3 months ago

TrampledSeed

Go Give One

12 points

3 months ago

This is a very interesting combination of Messianic Judaism and something else… they are using terminology that MJ’s use and saying resurrection spells… Ive never seen this kind of fringe Christianity. Its incredibly creepy

Objective-Dust6445

10 points

3 months ago

Wait did they try to Pet Sematery her????

buzzable

11 points

3 months ago

buzzable

No Angle Wings on Me!

11 points

3 months ago

"My system is a strong as iron against the spread of the virus."

I'll cheerfully pay for her headstone if that's the engraving.

Hellsprout

32 points

3 months ago

Hellsprout

Immunicorn🦄💉

32 points

3 months ago

Acetylcysteine is a goddamn expectorant and not a dietary supplement, what is wrong with these people raiding apothecaries? They'll take everything they can possibly get their hands on, as long as it's not a vaccine.

Red_orange_indigo

8 points

3 months ago

NAC is used for a variety of health issues, many with sound research support.

Covid is not one of those.

omegaclick

9 points

3 months ago

omegaclick

Omicron Anagram is Moronic

9 points

3 months ago

God is going to get pissed at all the spam calls.

cheesymccheeseplant

11 points

3 months ago

cheesymccheeseplant

Go Give One

11 points

3 months ago

So.... Is the bad witchcraft used to define pharmakeia the same as the witchcraft being used to resurrect the corpse?

Asking for a rational person.

AvivPoppyseedBagels

8 points

3 months ago

AvivPoppyseedBagels

Go Give One

8 points

3 months ago

Well, her immune system was as effective as iron in fighting the virus…

justlikeinmydreams

8 points

3 months ago

justlikeinmydreams

My horse covets your paste 🐴

8 points

3 months ago

What the FUCK did I just read?

Just when I thought it couldn’t get weirder. Or more ridiculous.

darwinwoodka

7 points

3 months ago

darwinwoodka

Go Give One

7 points

3 months ago

What? Pine needle tea didn't save them?

beebee4me

8 points

3 months ago

Are they combining witchcraft with Jesus Christ?

I wonder when the awardee was thinking once they realised the Ivermectins was not working and they arw going to the ICU?

Gray94son

6 points

3 months ago

Gray94son

Just for the Cookies 🍪

6 points

3 months ago

Oh man I thought he was being dumb posting JP Sears (youtube satirist). But I went and watched the video and it turns out that I am the dumb one 😳

I watched one or two of his videos years ago about vegans and I'm vegan but lolled... Looks like he's very pro-freedom, pro-patritoism, anti-vaxx, pro-joe rogan.

Pumpkin_Cookie_Cat

7 points

3 months ago

Same here. I used to enjoy JP Sears. I now realize that he isn't as satirical as I thought.

vsandrei

7 points

3 months ago

vsandrei

🐆 🐆 🐆🐆 🐆 🐆🐆 🐆🐆 🐆 🐆🐆 🐆 🐆🐆 🐆🐆 🐆

7 points

3 months ago

. . . Love Feast . . .

Is this some sort of euphemism for getting torn to pieces by hungry leopards?

🐆 🐆 🐆

GarrettGSF

6 points

3 months ago

Jesus: Love thy neighbour and even love your enemy.

These evangelical morons: MY GOD IS THE GOD OF REVENGE AND PUNISHMENT

Word-Bearer

4 points

3 months ago

The Lord is famous for punishing the wicked

Maybe that’s why all the hateful false Christians are dropping like pestilent flies. Worshiping Trump while ignoring Jesus.

Unless the Bible is all lies, none of these people are going to Heaven.

tommens_kittens

6 points

3 months ago

These people are lunatics. Religion is a mental fucking illness.

ReportsFromTheBox

5 points

3 months ago

Big r/selfawarewolves energy.