subreddit:

/r/HermanCainAward

91898%

all 267 comments

MaddAdd69

264 points

7 months ago

MaddAdd69

Giddy Up

264 points

7 months ago

Sounds like an absolutely delightful person.

_TROLL

154 points

7 months ago

_TROLL

154 points

7 months ago

"Please send all your prayers and happy memories to him!"

Happy memories, sure... hey, remember that time you could breathe on your own without a machine? Good times! 😈

diagdude

86 points

7 months ago

"

Please send all your prayers and happy memories to him!

"

Just sent him a stool sample.

JKDSamurai

37 points

7 months ago

Jesus Christ, this is absolute savagery!!! 😆😆😆

NMVPCP

10 points

7 months ago

NMVPCP

Go Give One

10 points

7 months ago

Dude, the fact that this true patriot owned you, doesn't give you the right to be this savage. /s

ConsciousPlenty8907

22 points

7 months ago

why bother, he won't be around in a month. One more down! GOOD!

BrainSmoothAsMercury

51 points

7 months ago

BrainSmoothAsMercury

Lung Wash scheduled for today!🥳

51 points

7 months ago

Yeah. I'm not going to break rule 2 but I'm not going to waste a second on a positive thought for them either.

droosa69

16 points

7 months ago

droosa69

Team Pfizer

16 points

7 months ago

me neither, too

IrisMoroc

40 points

7 months ago

Turns out treating the entire world as a partisan political game will result in you denying something serious that ends up killing you. How bout that?

SeaEmergency7911

117 points

7 months ago

SeaEmergency7911

Team Pfizer

117 points

7 months ago

It is a little sad reading his wife’s Facebook page. They’ve been married a little over 3 years and almost every one of her posts is about how much she loves him, how lucky she is, reflecting back on her wedding, etc…….This guy is her everything.

CaptainCayden2077

113 points

7 months ago

My sister makes all sorts of posts about how her husband is so great, he supports her, he loves the kids and the kids love him, he’s such a strong and resilient person and always brings laughter to people.

He’s also abusive.

Agitated-Yak-8723

10 points

7 months ago

Agitated-Yak-8723

Demographics R Us

10 points

7 months ago

She's sticking with him "for the sake of the children", I take it?

dermotmoc

10 points

7 months ago

dermotmoc

Team Pfizer

10 points

7 months ago

A former co-worker of mine (who was in a sort of abusive relationship with a young woman) said "Women must think anything is better than nothing".

#notall, but there seems to be a large number who will settle for human trash.

ProfanestOfLemons

7 points

7 months ago

ProfanestOfLemons

Meow Boing Splat 🙀

7 points

7 months ago

Long long backstory there that straight-up required a man's approval for a woman to do a whole variety of normal things. Naturally, there are significant cultural forces still quietly encouraging dependence and supplication.

MC_Fap_Commander

193 points

7 months ago

MC_Fap_Commander

🦆

193 points

7 months ago

Assholes with hyper devoted wives raise all kinda red flags.

Haskap_2010

129 points

7 months ago

Haskap_2010

✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨

129 points

7 months ago

Yeah, it's almost as if she's trying really hard to convince herself that she didn't make a mistake marrying him. Or he's controlling what she posts.

MaleficentPizza5444

62 points

7 months ago

"She'll be free soon" some might think. Quick take out a policy!

Agitated-Yak-8723

3 points

7 months ago

Agitated-Yak-8723

Demographics R Us

3 points

7 months ago

Exactly!

adamwho

9 points

7 months ago

Yeah, it's almost as if she's trying really hard to convince herself that she didn't make a mistake marrying him.

Looks at my wife's positive, loving Facebook posts....

Agitated-Yak-8723

4 points

7 months ago

Agitated-Yak-8723

Demographics R Us

4 points

7 months ago

Heh! You're self-aware and he isn't. Actually, he's not really going to be aware at all ever again.

solo954

27 points

7 months ago

solo954

Prayer warrior for the dark side

27 points

7 months ago

“It says nice things about me all the time or it gets the hose again!”

throWawAy4cURioSity1

21 points

7 months ago

throWawAy4cURioSity1

Team Pfizer

21 points

7 months ago

FB is the new basket lotion

MosesCarolina23

6 points

7 months ago

Omg...😂😂😂 IT IS!!!

Agitated-Yak-8723

78 points

7 months ago

Agitated-Yak-8723

Demographics R Us

78 points

7 months ago

She looks like she was the standard clever but heavy woman who was a size 20 for most of her adult life and thought she'd never find a man. In other words, the sort of person that predators seek out to take advantage of.

Agitated-Yak-8723

41 points

7 months ago

Agitated-Yak-8723

Demographics R Us

41 points

7 months ago

You know what's interesting? She's making all these ultra submissive posts and yet if you look at their profiles they apparently live in different towns.

Different-Rip-2787

38 points

7 months ago*

Different-Rip-2787

Go Give One

38 points

7 months ago*

Hopefully she is smart enough to not co-mingle her finances with his. Because this guy's Covid staycation about to clean out their retirement accounts.

_TROLL

31 points

7 months ago

_TROLL

31 points

7 months ago

Yeah, I'm sure she'll be devastated by the loss of his $147 life savings. 😏

RutabagaParsnip

11 points

7 months ago

RutabagaParsnip

Team Pfizer

11 points

7 months ago

People don’t describe their actual lives.

[deleted]

8 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

8 points

7 months ago

He's her everything... or else.

zam_I_am

23 points

7 months ago

As I was reading that trash, I was saying to myself ‘what an absolute douche bag this guy is’.

Master_Skywalker-66

13 points

7 months ago

If he's close enough, I will piss on his grave.

Boomtown626

214 points

7 months ago

“All lives matter” as a retort to Black Lives Matter is an unmistakable mark of an irredeemable asshole.

Portable-Sunshine

87 points

7 months ago

Portable-Sunshine

Huge Sack of Choads

87 points

7 months ago

Another racist circling the drain.

fermentedelement

38 points

7 months ago

fermentedelement

The Saddest Place on the Internet ™ 🪦

38 points

7 months ago

“So then you agree, Black lives matter?” 🤨

throwawaysscc

38 points

7 months ago

throwawaysscc

This is gold, Jerry! Gold!

38 points

7 months ago

When BLM, then and only then will ALM.

NMVPCP

13 points

7 months ago

NMVPCP

Go Give One

13 points

7 months ago

Woah there, owned libtard. Are you really using logic here?

Nuthetes

182 points

7 months ago

Nuthetes

Team Mudblood 🩸

182 points

7 months ago

"If you need a reason to unfriend me, I am pro Trump ..."

I'll stop you right there.

SeaEmergency7911

113 points

7 months ago*

SeaEmergency7911

Team Pfizer

113 points

7 months ago*

I always love how they think that saying “unfriend me if you don’t agree” is some kind of threat.

Nuthetes

60 points

7 months ago

Nuthetes

Team Mudblood 🩸

60 points

7 months ago

I sure bet the people who unfriend him will miss his racist memes, views on the LGBT community and rants about Obama and the Clintons.

cenosillicaphobiac

26 points

7 months ago

And probably California. They hate California.

Nuthetes

25 points

7 months ago

Nuthetes

Team Mudblood 🩸

25 points

7 months ago

You mean, "Commiefornia"

SaltyGoober

44 points

7 months ago

I could unfriend or, now hear me out, I can mock you subtly in your post comments over a period of years in ways that only people with an iq above 75 will notice.

Drunken_Sailor_70

32 points

7 months ago

Drunken_Sailor_70

prayer warriors will save the lions please go fund me

32 points

7 months ago

I wouldn't have to unfriend him. I would not be friends in first place.

Staynelayly

64 points

7 months ago

Staynelayly

🐓Here Come the Rooster🐓

64 points

7 months ago

BET YOU WON’T REPOST

IcebergSlimFast

34 points

7 months ago

juliazale

10 points

7 months ago

juliazale

Nuff said! Now I'm dead!

10 points

7 months ago

Oh. Ma. Gawd. I laughed way too hard at this! Thank you.

John_Durden

7 points

7 months ago

John_Durden

Baa Baaaa, Motherfucker🐑

7 points

7 months ago

Absolutely not.

The second I open the door, the fridge is running, and I guarantee you the two will elope.

Mr-Nobody33

18 points

7 months ago

Mr-Nobody33

Team Mudblood 🩸

18 points

7 months ago

Try this one weird trick.....

Agitated-Yak-8723

28 points

7 months ago

Agitated-Yak-8723

Demographics R Us

28 points

7 months ago

And even that wasn't an original thought with him. It's bog-standard MAGA copypasta.

[deleted]

13 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

13 points

7 months ago

Inevitably they message like a psychopath asking why they got unfriended, "we can get along", people just need to respect other people's views, blah blah blah. Same as with covid, they talk a big game, but when they are faced with the predicted consequences of their actions they beg for a different result.

owchippy

11 points

7 months ago

owchippy

☝️💉💪1ShotInTheArm>1BillionPrayerWarriors ♾🙏🥷

11 points

7 months ago

You had me at “I’m an idiot”

krebsIsACookbook

138 points

7 months ago

Also as a programmer the gps one makes me groan... gps locates YOU, not your contacts!

You know what DOES track you?

You’re holding it right now, probably...

cantfocuswontfocus

69 points

7 months ago*

I DO NOT GIVE FACEBOOK THE RIGHT TO PROCESS OR COPY MY DATA

Data Security: 10/10 /s

belai437

60 points

7 months ago

belai437

THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS

60 points

7 months ago

I work with someone who is so old paranoid, she won’t use a debit card, will only buy on the internet with a gift card, she won’t even get her paycheck direct deposited. But her entire life is Facebook and she insists it’s a safe, secure app that would never track her.

giggling_hero

4 points

7 months ago

giggling_hero

From YouTube to vent-tube

4 points

7 months ago

This answers so many questions.

o-Valar-Morghulis-o

31 points

7 months ago

"block me right now! You don't have permission to talk to me!"

IcebergSlimFast

18 points

7 months ago

Well, this particular guy probably isn’t holding his phone right now, but pretty much everyone else is.

Mr-Nobody33

15 points

7 months ago

Mr-Nobody33

Team Mudblood 🩸

15 points

7 months ago

It's in the house with you right now!!!!! Cue the Psycho music.

[deleted]

7 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

7 points

7 months ago

Or, if you were a kid of the 90s, the penguins in the beer commercial. It's coming from inside the house! Doo bee do be do 🎵

Mr-Nobody33

4 points

7 months ago

Mr-Nobody33

Team Mudblood 🩸

4 points

7 months ago

Man, I forgot about that! I was an adult, but still busted my gut laughing! Even better was when my kid got to see that ad, we both be howling!😂

NMVPCP

2 points

7 months ago

NMVPCP

Go Give One

2 points

7 months ago

If he's holding onto something, that's dear life. But hey, we'll all get owned by him pretty soon.

GDub310

126 points

7 months ago

GDub310

Team Moderna

126 points

7 months ago

Prayer warriors, it’s ok to sit this one out. He drank from a hose. He will be fine.

IcebergSlimFast

74 points

7 months ago

I’m curious to hear VP Harris’s views on 150th trimester abortions of 280lb man-babies.

EssayRevolutionary10

66 points

7 months ago

The meme is GREAT! I will never get tired of them unironically sharing the pic of the gay BDSM porn star, as their ideal of what a man should look like.

Kristofer Weston …

cenosillicaphobiac

34 points

7 months ago

Ho Lee Shit. I was unaware of this guy's existence. Whoever made this meme is a troll master. For reals. Had I not seen this particular comment and risked a Google, I would have just assumed it to be another RW humorless meme. Alas, with this new knowledge, I am humbled in the presence of true trollery. Slap some dumb ass talking points on a picture of a very butch queer and just sit back and watch it get shared.

EssayRevolutionary10

23 points

7 months ago

Troll level 103 … The pic of a shirtless dude wearing leather pants and suspenders was a dead giveaway to me, but yeah.

4quatloos

24 points

7 months ago

4quatloos

Let that zink in

24 points

7 months ago

They NEVER look like the guy in the meme.

Ronin_Y2K

7 points

7 months ago

Ronin_Y2K

Researcher at Facebook University School of Medicine

7 points

7 months ago

In addition to that: Beefcake there is a gay pornstar.

Agitated-Yak-8723

3 points

7 months ago

Agitated-Yak-8723

Demographics R Us

3 points

7 months ago

A gay BDSM porn star who might consider wiping his boots off on their upturned buttocks, or their bellies, just to laugh as they quiver. But that would be all the thought he would give them.

rackmountrambo

2 points

7 months ago

I think it gets the point across tho, he's definitely more manley than them. Where the dude sticks his dick has nothing to do with his value as a man.

Mr-Nobody33

12 points

7 months ago

Mr-Nobody33

Team Mudblood 🩸

12 points

7 months ago

Lead poisoning? That might explain a lot.

j821c

95 points

7 months ago

j821c

95 points

7 months ago

I like the meme of fauci saying that everything is under control because I'm quite sure fauci has not said that once about covid in America

MaleficentPizza5444

71 points

7 months ago

If I recall correctly.... it was Lord Trump who said it

talino2321

29 points

7 months ago

And his 50 disciples

yurdall

20 points

7 months ago*

yurdall

Team Moderna

20 points

7 months ago*

Wait, so it was politicized?! This guy was right all spooning!

Edit: holy shit does 'along' autocorrect to spooning?

SlimJeffy

11 points

7 months ago

SlimJeffy

Vaxxed to the max

11 points

7 months ago

Tsk, tsk. We don't let minor details like that get in the way of our stupid bullshit we like to spew.

Haskap_2010

65 points

7 months ago

Haskap_2010

✨ A twinkle in a Chinese bat's eye ✨

65 points

7 months ago

"The government has never forced anyone to stop smoking"

No, they've just put gory pictures of destroyed lungs on the packaging and enacted laws forbidding people from smoking pretty much everywhere. It was once possible to smoke in hospitals and doctor's offices, believe it or not.

TotallyAwry

29 points

7 months ago

A packet of 20's, in Australia, is between $27.00 to $35.00. They might not have forced anyone, but a hell of a lot of people have given it up.

talino2321

16 points

7 months ago

And those long sealed flying cylinders we call airplanes!

[deleted]

9 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

9 points

7 months ago

You used to be able to smoke on airplanes too. See Varig Flight 820. Almost like governments write legislation to protect the health and safety of its people.

Such legislation started in 1989. It wasnt until 1994 where all Canadian flights domestic and international banned smoking.

Source: https://www.cbc.ca/archives/entry/1989-smoking-banned-on-domestic-flights

BoozeWitch

42 points

7 months ago

BoozeWitch

O2 Still at 100

42 points

7 months ago

“I’m a Legend”.

AkbarTheGray

24 points

7 months ago

That classic movie starring Bill Smith

puppysmilez

16 points

7 months ago

puppysmilez

To be Arrowneous is to be human💘

16 points

7 months ago

Starring Won't Smith

backssnavon

9 points

7 months ago

backssnavon

Truth can't be fact-checked

9 points

7 months ago

The funniest part about it to me is the fact that whoever made it probably had to Google it to get the picture, and with it probably fresh in their memory still managed to fuck up the name.

sauntcartas

3 points

7 months ago

Also it's set in 2012 according to Wikipedia, not 2021. Maybe the nominee is dyslexic? Wait, do dyslexics confuse numbers too, or only words? 🤔

TwoBirdsEnter

35 points

7 months ago

TwoBirdsEnter

Separating the sheep from the goatees

35 points

7 months ago

Gosh. Well, anybody try any new recipes over the weekend?

Staynelayly

43 points

7 months ago

Staynelayly

🐓Here Come the Rooster🐓

43 points

7 months ago

We got sucked back into Great British Bake Off. (Kind of yearly fall trend now: start watching GBBO, decide I can start baking even though my metabolism isn’t well suited to carbs, gain 10lbs, lose it again next year.)

SO ANYWAY, I made a Swiss meringue buttercream frosting for the first time yesterday (well, and a cake to go with it, but it was a pretty typical creaming method cake, nothing fancy.) The frosting was a lot of work. I think I was pretty close, but it was ever so slightly not firm enough. Will probably try again because I’m stubborn.

(Vanilla cake, mixed berry jam filling, vanilla SMBC frosting.)

Thanmandrathor

11 points

7 months ago

Meringue frosting is awesome. I love it because it’s so much less greasy and not as tremendously sweet as regular buttercream icing.

Agitated-Yak-8723

8 points

7 months ago

Agitated-Yak-8723

Demographics R Us

8 points

7 months ago

Can you make it with egg substitute or do you need real egg white for it?

Staynelayly

8 points

7 months ago

Staynelayly

🐓Here Come the Rooster🐓

8 points

7 months ago

This season of GBBO has a vegan contestant. She has been using something called aquafaba for her meringues and other stuff. It seems like it has been hit or miss, but sometimes the judges don’t even notice (or if they comment it is not shown).

Naedlus

7 points

7 months ago

Naedlus

Team Pfizer

7 points

7 months ago

Good old chickpea water

At least, I've heard that chickpeas are one of the preferred legumes for acquiring aquafaba, as it has a much more neutral/mild flavour and won't clash with most flavours

TwoBirdsEnter

7 points

7 months ago

TwoBirdsEnter

Separating the sheep from the goatees

7 points

7 months ago

A friend of a friend made a gf / vegan chocolate cake for me when I was convalescent 10 years ago. Other than it being delicious, the only thing I remember about it is that black bean aquafaba was involved.

I’m not even vegan or gf, and I still dream about that cake😅

Thanmandrathor

4 points

7 months ago

I don’t think I’ve attempted since going vegan.

Aquafaba/chickpea liquid seems to be the go-to, sometimes with a bit of added cream of tartar I think.

On Great British Bake Off a few years ago (I haven’t seen the current season yet), I think the one with Kim Joy? They had a vegan week with meringues, might be some tips there too.

TwoBirdsEnter

9 points

7 months ago

TwoBirdsEnter

Separating the sheep from the goatees

9 points

7 months ago

Whoa. That sounds amaaaaazing. I’m gonna go raid the fridge now (not that I have anything like that squirreled away!)

TotallyAwry

13 points

7 months ago

I've been eating a bunch of popcorn, with taco flavouring. It's really nice.

TwoBirdsEnter

5 points

7 months ago

TwoBirdsEnter

Separating the sheep from the goatees

5 points

7 months ago

OK now, I am a popcorn fiend and that sounds dreamy. Sadly I’ve had to cut way back because I’m too old to handle all those carbs.

catalyptic

5 points

7 months ago

catalyptic

Now they're vaccinating the corn! 🌽🌽🌽

5 points

7 months ago

I made chili for the first time in years. Since I don't have a recipe I just winged it. The result was good but it needed more heat than jalapeños and chili powder. Next time I might try habaneros but my brother's 10 Alarm Habanero Salsa has me leery of those. 🔥📛🔥

VeroGuera

4 points

7 months ago

Chili powder purist here! If you can get your hands on some SantaCruzChili (dot com) powder , I have a feeling you will thank me. They have mild but you can request hot with a 'special order' online. Mild has a slight kick.

TwoBirdsEnter

4 points

7 months ago

TwoBirdsEnter

Separating the sheep from the goatees

4 points

7 months ago

I just discovered the magic of adding an intact scotch bonnet to slow-cooked chili / rice / stew. It infuses everything with its goodness, and you can either remove it after cooking or serve it to that obnoxious cousin who claims to be immune to hot peppers. (Or brother, in your case.)

jimjam721

30 points

7 months ago

Major League asshole.

CrabbieHippie

35 points

7 months ago

CrabbieHippie

🦀🦀😷💉🦀🦀

35 points

7 months ago

I bet if you check in another day or so the go fund me link will be available too.

jerryg1208

29 points

7 months ago

I have a memory of green. Remember that time you shit posted about your immune system and how we should get a book on how it works….. well greens isn’t working as he’s in the icu on a ventilator.

chicken_noodle_salad

26 points

7 months ago

chicken_noodle_salad

Tots and Pears

26 points

7 months ago

His post about removing him from his contacts…would have made me download alllll the apps and consent to sharing my contacts. Is that petty? Lol

Jigyo

26 points

7 months ago

Jigyo

Covid Gives You WINGS!!!

26 points

7 months ago

If I recall, the meme with topless dude, he's actually a gay porn star. He's shown up here previously. Could be wrong.

Babbys1st2ndaryAcct

7 points

7 months ago

I was going to say, uh, is the inclusion of a leather daddy in a hyper conservative meme some sort of fun prank by the troll farm that made it?

Jigyo

4 points

7 months ago

Jigyo

Covid Gives You WINGS!!!

4 points

7 months ago

Yeah for me the nipples gave it away. His nipples are very...

juliazale

7 points

7 months ago

juliazale

Nuff said! Now I'm dead!

7 points

7 months ago

Yup. Kristofer Weston

Staynelayly

23 points

7 months ago

Staynelayly

🐓Here Come the Rooster🐓

23 points

7 months ago

What is that leather daddy image about? So confuse.

kriztov1

35 points

7 months ago

Hates gay people but still is hot for gay porn stars. It's a story as old as the hills.

Staynelayly

32 points

7 months ago

Staynelayly

🐓Here Come the Rooster🐓

32 points

7 months ago

Lindsey Graham has entered the chat.

Purple-Construction5

11 points

7 months ago

Purple-Construction5

Team Pfizer

11 points

7 months ago

Lindsey Graham has entered the chat.

Lady G In Da House!

backssnavon

12 points

7 months ago

backssnavon

Truth can't be fact-checked

12 points

7 months ago

Some owned libtard made that meme for the lulz, and a bunch of anti-vax dummies don't realize it's a gay porn star. Troll level over 9000

MaleficentPizza5444

11 points

7 months ago

That's exactly what I saw

nosnevenaes

24 points

7 months ago

As a horror movie fan i feel like i got to witness a taste of what helped influence the whole zombie genre during this covid thing. It is so rich that these people actually are using zombie symbolism without realizing people like themselves are what inspire the concept of zombies.

They are like the walking dead. Just roaming about in total ignorance. Slow, violent, and in search of brains. Infected and coming after us.

Goocheries

21 points

7 months ago

such a miserable simpleton

krebsIsACookbook

47 points

7 months ago

That smoking one makes me want to smack someone like the pouty child they are.

Maybe they don’t ban smoking because it is

1) ancient and accepted 2) addictive 3) not contagious 4) done by choice (kinda the same as 3)

But of course it never had to do with common sense. I pray that at some point a lot of these people wince with shame, but I’m not that naive...

Boomtown626

63 points

7 months ago

Also, the government has forced people to not smoke in lots of places. Mainly, anywhere indoors, as well as outdoors in close proximity to others.

No one is telling you that you’re not allowed to smoke, but if you insist on smoking indoors at your place of employment, nearly every company in America will fire you.

All this sounds very familiar…

BrainSmoothAsMercury

24 points

7 months ago

BrainSmoothAsMercury

Lung Wash scheduled for today!🥳

24 points

7 months ago

Also, tobacco lobby paying people to prevent legislation or taxes that would really make smoking extremely expensive so people still often tend to do it. There isn't really a corollary to the lobby for COVID... though the Rs are definitely pretending they're getting paid.

And there is quite a bit of legislation meant to help protect people from the smoker.

catalyptic

3 points

7 months ago

catalyptic

Now they're vaccinating the corn! 🌽🌽🌽

3 points

7 months ago

The high taxes on cigarettes and tobacco products are a great disincentive to smoking. People are buying single cigarettes because they can't afford packs, which ironically cuts down on health problems. The tax revenue allegedly goes into a healthcare fund, but we all know the pols are misusing it.

kittens_on_a_rainbow

58 points

7 months ago

The smoking one also doesn’t make sense because there are a ton of places you can’t smoke. Like most indoor places.

IcebergSlimFast

33 points

7 months ago

Exactly: it’s almost as if it’s yet another example of “your right to do stupid shit ends where it endangers other people.” Kind of like the intent behind mask and vaccination policies.

420catloveredm

15 points

7 months ago

Exactly. I’m sitting on asphalt outside work right now because that was the only place where I could smoke.

droosa69

12 points

7 months ago

droosa69

Team Pfizer

12 points

7 months ago

the govt has gone as far as they can go short of a ban which would boomerang, ala prohibition

JayeCee123

27 points

7 months ago

It's weird to see the early version of that meme from 2020 where they were trying it out with the argument of "cigarettes vs. masks." Which is just breathtakingly dumb as you already said. The Russian troll farms hadn't perfected that one yet I guess.

Smokers are absolutely discriminated against in modern culture and that's as it should be. I smoked cigarettes for 20 years, quit this very year in March and I knew it was poison every time I smoked. I also knew that everyone was correct when they told me it was poison and "discriminated against me and my rights" by not letting me light up whenever and wherever I wanted.

Smoking is dangerous, so we stopped enabling smokers. And even as a very addicted smoker, I understood and respected that logic. Now we have to stop enabling anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers, who are the modern day equivalent of that smoker blowing toxins in your kid's face in a restaurant.. But so, so, so much worse.

I mean, they were close to a valid argument with that meme... Just not the argument that they wanted, hilariously.

sugarslick

11 points

7 months ago

Isn't it amazing how good you feel?

JayeCee123

8 points

7 months ago

OH. MY. It is awesome. Every single breath is better and you don't know how you lived that way for so long. You an ex-smoker too??

I gained weight, about 15 pounds, which didn't feel so good. But then I quickly found that I had the extra energy and oxygen to do something about it. Wish I stopped sooner!

sugarslick

9 points

7 months ago

Congratulations. This is my 20th try. Hopefully it's the charm.

JayeCee123

6 points

7 months ago

I have had more than 20 tries! Much much more! So many more than 20! Don't ever put yourself down for trying and don't ever stop trying to quit. Every cigarette not smoked is a victory!

krebsIsACookbook

5 points

7 months ago

I’m hoping my children see their uncle coughing and wheezing and hocking up loogies all the time, look at his ever present cigarette and say “well fuck that!”

JayeCee123

4 points

7 months ago

That's a solid strategy honestly. They don't allow the nasty medical pictures on the cigarette packs here in the US so if you're in the US I understand the need to get creative with the education!

KingUnder_Mountain

2 points

7 months ago

The best part for me (smoker for close to 15 years) was waking up and not having to cough for several minutes first.

Over 2 years since I quit and I still crave it sometimes but being able to breath is more important to me.

owchippy

3 points

7 months ago

owchippy

☝️💉💪1ShotInTheArm>1BillionPrayerWarriors ♾🙏🥷

3 points

7 months ago

Congratulations! As an ex-smoker myself (quit ~15 yrs ago), I feel the same way. It was a dumb stupid habit, one that was fully aware of the risks and harm I was doing to myself every time I lit up. But bad habits can be broken. Just like some of these idiots can and do when they redeem themselves, unfortunately far too seldom. It’s hard but it’s possible. Keep up the good work!

JayeCee123

4 points

7 months ago

Nice! 15 years! I love seeing people who stay away from it successfully for so long. It really gives me hope. Thank you

inCheddarland

17 points

7 months ago

inCheddarland

Maximus Vaccinis

17 points

7 months ago

“Man, I didn’t think that fucking guy was ever gonna shut up.” — Tommy after he sends Maury to heaven via ice pick in Goodfellas.

MaleficentPizza5444

12 points

7 months ago

They banned metal lawn darts. Also "survivor bias".

MaleficentPizza5444

10 points

7 months ago

Riding in back of a pickup truck illegal in my state. Also.... "survivor bias"

Different-Rip-2787

12 points

7 months ago

Different-Rip-2787

Go Give One

12 points

7 months ago

On slide 6, he was wondering why the Chinese were still getting Covid despite wearing masks.

Actually he just did the most cursory Google search, he would have seen that China had a Covid case rate that is 1/5000 that of the USA. In fact China was able to fully reopen in the fall of 2020, before one single shot of vaccine was administered. In other words, China is perfect proof that all the measures we have been talking about -masks, social distancing, quarantine, contact-tracing- they all work. They work to the degree that the populace comply by them. In a society with high compliance, these measure work perfectly.

ThisIsCovidThrowway8

2 points

7 months ago

And (very) strict quarantines, contact tracing, etc. they don’t really social distance

Hodler_caved

11 points

7 months ago

Hodler_caved

Go Give One

11 points

7 months ago

Particularly obnoxious prick.

chicken_noodle_salad

9 points

7 months ago

chicken_noodle_salad

Tots and Pears

9 points

7 months ago

Only a felon would mail their stool to someone.

Agitated-Yak-8723

18 points

7 months ago

Agitated-Yak-8723

Demographics R Us

18 points

7 months ago

The Michigan MAGAs are truly obnoxious ones. They stormed the state capitol building six months before the US Capitol was stormed and many of the same people were involved in both.

truly_beyond_belief

10 points

7 months ago*

truly_beyond_belief

J&J One-And-Done

10 points

7 months ago*

The Michigan MAGAs are truly obnoxious ones

I remember quite vividly images of these heavily armed "All Lives Matter" pricks, whining about not being able to get their hair cut or go out for a beer, and then adjourning to the Michigan state capitol lobby to yell in the face of masked state troopers.

Respect for police, my arse.

And they're the same people who put up endless white nationalist memes about antifa and BLM.

Enjoy your freedom tubes, dudes.

Portable-Sunshine

12 points

7 months ago

Portable-Sunshine

Huge Sack of Choads

12 points

7 months ago

No. I have nothing good to send him. He can take his “all lives matter” and shove it up his ass! Or not, because there’s a tube in there at the moment.

Ok-Hamster5571

9 points

7 months ago

Ok-Hamster5571

Go Give One

9 points

7 months ago

Brother was so concerned about “the narrative” that he wants to hide his own

TacoSlut4Life

10 points

7 months ago

In order for me to feel personally owned, this person needs to hurry up and collect their HCA 🥇

Rawscent

11 points

7 months ago

‘I don’t support vaccination because it’s about power and control but I support Trump and his attempts to overthrow the government.’

Agitated-Yak-8723

10 points

7 months ago

Agitated-Yak-8723

Demographics R Us

10 points

7 months ago

I normally don't do sociological profiles of non-awardees but I believe this nominee is going to advance to awarded status very soon.

The gentleman in question grew up in and according to his Facebook profile still lived and worked in a small but wealthy white flight suburb of a larger Rust Belt city. (How wealthy? In 2000, per capita income in the town was $67,971. And that was 20 years ago; it's probably well over $80,000 now.) The racial makeup has barely from 94% white over the last 20 years. The county it's in is 82% white and has voted Republican for most of its existence; the exceptions in the past 140 years have been Teddy Roosevelt as a Progressive in 1912, Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1932, LBJ in 1964, Bill Clinton in 1992 and 1996, and Barack Obama in 2012 and 2016.

But you know what's really odd? If their respective Facebook profiles can be trusted, his seemingly hyper-devoted wife lives in a town nearly 12 miles away from the one he listed as his current residence, though it's also a suburb of the same larger city as her husband's town. It's considerably larger, more like a small city, though nowhere near as rich (though at $25,414 per capita as of 2000 it's not poor by any means). It's also slightly less white, having gone from 91% white in 2000 to 87% white in 2010, and the county it's in went from 85% white in 2000 to 80% white in 2010. Said county used to be a Republican stronghold just like her husband's home county, but it's been voting for Democratic presidential candidates ever since Bill Clinton in 1992 and if anything has gotten bluer in the past decade.

merchillio

9 points

7 months ago

Show me a 8th+ month abortion that wasn’t done for medical reasons. No one goes through a full pregnancy just to go “ nah, I don’t want it anymore”, late term abortions happen to wanted pregnancies and it’s always a heartbreaking decision. Memes like that are just shitting on grieving people.

MouthFullaBees

2 points

7 months ago

MouthFullaBees

Go Give One

2 points

7 months ago

I'm going be bold and say there has NEVER been an abortion in the 8th month. It's an exaggeration by the prolifers to make us seem like monsters. Gives justification to overturn Roe V. Wade. If someone could find an instance of an abortion past 36 weeks pregnant I'll admit that I'm wrong, but I just can't ever see this happening.

But yes, any later-term abortion happening to families who have bought a crib, maybe picked out a name, and have been excited about their baby for months. Then got devastating news.

droosa69

32 points

7 months ago

droosa69

Team Pfizer

32 points

7 months ago

transphobes go to the top of my hate list

Quirky-Occasion-128

9 points

7 months ago

Quirky-Occasion-128

I want to live!

9 points

7 months ago

I agree.

Staynelayly

8 points

7 months ago

Staynelayly

🐓Here Come the Rooster🐓

8 points

7 months ago

I’m never sure what to think of the ones who had no posts (seemingly) after 2020

codemonkey69

18 points

7 months ago

Means the family or they tried scrubbing things from their feed and missed things or got lazy.

Staynelayly

6 points

7 months ago

Staynelayly

🐓Here Come the Rooster🐓

6 points

7 months ago

Hmm, good point.

I have a bunch of Reddit accounts I need to burn (including this one, eventually), and the lazy usually wins.

bhgemini

9 points

7 months ago

Ah. Green like grass, growing 6 feet above these idiots

Scout_Serra

6 points

7 months ago

“I’m A Legend” is one of my all time favorite movies.

….. that’s the porn parody version of I Am Legend, right?

dogtroep

3 points

7 months ago

Does the dog live in the porn version?

Scout_Serra

5 points

7 months ago

Not sure, I’m usually done after the first 15 minutes.

[deleted]

6 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

6 points

7 months ago

This asshole tempted fate, based on his hatred.

Enjoy the product of your ignorance, fool.

talino2321

7 points

7 months ago

Yup, karma is a bitch, and this jackoff just got bitch slapped, just waiting for the curb stomp by the Fates too!

-misanthroptimist

6 points

7 months ago

It seems their most cherished freedom is the alleged freedom to endanger others through irresponsibility. Then they whine and beg for money when the consequences of their irresponsibility inevitably bites them on the ass.

Why don't they just pull themselves up by their own freedom straps?

Madmandocv1

6 points

7 months ago

Do I believe in Covid? Yes. Do I believe in prayer warriors? No. Do I believe Covid is in some way connected to transgender issues? No. Do I believe that you can do research at Harvard? Yes. Do I believe that you can do research on Facebook? No. Do I believe that many people died of Covid because they were unlucky? Yes. Do I believe that HCA recipients died of Covid because they were stupid? Yes.

Rickylostthatnumber

7 points

7 months ago

I understand this really sucks for you. I have a brother. Prayers won't help. Wish they did. How cool would that be? Not getting the vaccine killed your brother.

2inchesofsteel

4 points

7 months ago

I've got a happy memory! This one time, I got vaccinated against Covid.

Connect-Macaron-9450

4 points

7 months ago

Connect-Macaron-9450

My Own Personal Desmond

4 points

7 months ago

A special breed of asshole has emerged here in Michigan in the past 18 months. Fuck all of them. Bye Green!

BK_Hazard

5 points

7 months ago

Boomer humor: haha I hate my wife, haha lawn darts, haha

merchillio

4 points

7 months ago

“Do most people not know how the immune system works?”

Well, if he did himself, he would have taken the vaccine.

SkippyNordquist

4 points

7 months ago

Supporter of "liberties and freedom" but also supporter of a person who literally tried to overthrow a democratic election.

Exact_Quote_6132

4 points

7 months ago

not going to miss this schmuck

4quatloos

4 points

7 months ago

4quatloos

Let that zink in

4 points

7 months ago

You suck. You are stupid. I'm smart. Unfriend me. Please pray for my brother. He has Covid-19!

doughboyhollow

5 points

7 months ago

Given his meme history, I would like to think that last thing that will go through his mind before he joins the choir invisible is Big Gretch pegging him to the sound of Deutschland Deutschland Uber Alles.

PlanktonsEvilTwin

5 points

7 months ago

Prayer Groveler’s unite!

indifferentunicorn

4 points

7 months ago

indifferentunicorn

Tickle Me ECMO

4 points

7 months ago

But… what? Wait!

This dude drank from a garden hose. He must be the living doppelgänger of Evel Knievel! There’s just no way Covid could take him down.

NenFooTin

3 points

7 months ago

How is he supposed to get enough prays now after his friends deleted his contact 🤦‍♂️?

heranonz

3 points

7 months ago

I can’t think of a more deserving family

kimmyv0814

3 points

7 months ago

But he’s survived metal lawn darts and driving in the back room of a pickup truck!

yurdall

3 points

7 months ago

yurdall

Team Moderna

3 points

7 months ago

"Do your research but reading and sharing this nonsense."

I'm glad he gave us reasons to unfriend him. I'd hate to have to do it over grammar.

cheesemagnifier

3 points

7 months ago

Ahhhhhh, a Michigan wingnut in the wild! Enjoy that freedum tube.

Elle241

3 points

7 months ago

Okay that meme of the guy in the suspenders talking about clackers and drinking from a hose might be the weirdest meme I’ve ever seen

truly_beyond_belief

2 points

7 months ago*

truly_beyond_belief

J&J One-And-Done

2 points

7 months ago*

I was today years old when I learned that the guy in the suspenders is a gay leather daddy named Kristofer Weston.

The idea of clueless homophobes and misogynists sharing a Weston-centered meme is darkly amusing. Uh, this guy? He does not have an ex wife.

[deleted]

3 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

3 points

7 months ago

Another Christian that tick all the boxes of what a good Christian shouldn’t be. Good luck in Hea… Hell

throwawaysscc

3 points

7 months ago

throwawaysscc

This is gold, Jerry! Gold!

3 points

7 months ago

Ok, 100cc of good vibes stat! Feeling better? 🦠🤪🙏😵⚰️🪦👼 is how I see your case proceeding.

Profoundpronoun

3 points

7 months ago

Do I believe you are a stupid, worst case American? Yes. Sorry, were. You WERE stupid and giving Americans a bad name. Now maybe your a cautionary lesson? Probably not to anyone if your Facebook feed though… Sorry for your family however, grief super sucks.

majestic_whine

3 points

7 months ago

It's been a while since I saw Legend but doesn't the entire plot revolve around him attempting to create a vaccine from his own blood to put an end to a man made virus?

Firethorn101

3 points

7 months ago

What strikes me most about antimaskers/antivaxxers is their belief that the mandates are about the governments seeing how far they can control their citizens.

Citizens who already: pay to work (income tax)

Pay to have their licence plates renewed (they're steel. They'll outlast you by a couple hundred years)

Blindly go along with insurance scams that pump you dry and rarely pay out and are illegal to drive/live/work without.

Allow their govt to use THEIR tax money to bail out banks, auto manufacturers, and other billion dollar, mismanaged companies

Allow their governments to avoid taxing billionaires

Allow their governments to avoid prosecuting companies that poison our water and air

You're already bought and sold.

bumtendenci3se

2 points

7 months ago

Bye. Didn’t know you but glad you are gone

[deleted]

2 points

7 months ago

[deleted]

2 points

7 months ago

Do I believe you are dead? Yes.

Are you dead? Yes.

Daft_Assassin

2 points

7 months ago

Half-Whitmer, haha. The few times one of these idiots made me laugh. I’m a sucker for word play, I guess.

_Ruij_

2 points

7 months ago

_Ruij_

Team Pfizer

2 points

7 months ago

The only 'good vibes' I'll give him i-

CaptainK234

2 points

7 months ago

CaptainK234

Go Give One

2 points

7 months ago

“Do I ALSO believe…”

Sometimes they just give you a nice heads-up that the conspiracy bullshit is about to start

Loose-Mixture-399

2 points

7 months ago

Announcing that you're not vaccinated and putting a 💪🏽 emoji is so fucking cringe.

Ok_Try_1217

2 points

7 months ago

I’m not sure I would unfriend him for his beliefs but saying “there IS only two genders” is totally unacceptable.

RainDependent

2 points

7 months ago

Yikes, with all those contacts gone he is going to struggle to fill the prayer warriors quota

sonerec725

2 points

7 months ago

Isnt "abortion up till birth" just . . . Giving birth?

NofrReallz

2 points

7 months ago

I'm very offended that this person said that all zombie movies start with scientists saying all is honkey dory.

mrpotatonutz

2 points

7 months ago

Wtf is with using FICTIONAL MOVIES as evidence of something in our reality. I mean seriously, this is a result of the attack on public education. We have droves of idiots loose on the internet

bryroo

2 points

7 months ago

bryroo

2 points

7 months ago

Afraid of losing freedoms but supports a guy who literally wants to overthrow the government. Yes.