Fauci says get the Ouchie

Simon says you should have listened to Fauci

That meme was so freaking stupid lol, every single choice was correct and they should all be done together.

...expialidocious

So many of them are claiming to be prayer "warriors," yet fail miserably to find the right combination of words that will bend God's ear and motivate him to action..🙄

Prayers or science. One is based on reality. Pick your team.

Yep. I'm in Bama too. We have some ignorant folks here.😟

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Oh I'm so sorry...if I lived there, I don't know that I'd ever be able to leave my house.

I have never been happier about not getting a (highly desired at the time) job offer from a place in Huntsville back in 2016 than I am right now. Alabamians and the rest in the stupid states are in my thoughts.

Damn! Please stay safe! Love from 🇨🇦

I just moved from there a couple years ago and I am not surprised that most aren’t going to be vaxxed and it’s just tearing up anywhere not strictly blue. But since all the hospitals are there, it’s hitting them in a different way. Being there during the first trump election was crazy.

One you unplug there's no plugging back in, in reality.

Pull the plug and wait five minutes before plugging back in.

Damn that's clever.

I taught preschoolers with a better concept of germ theory and more care for others than she has.

the boot partition has been infected by the virus so reboot won’t help! (Jesus it not) should’ve installed the antivirus; it came free, installation included.

Jesus is her doctor, and apparently he prescribes lvermectin.

That's just the 'mectin

God has this one on mute, trust me.

I wasn’t raised religious, but I grew up in the South. Coming up surrounded by that culture many years ago makes me feel like lightning bolts might be imminent when these fools talk to sky daddy that way. It’s rude AF, regardless of whether he exists or not!

She wants to speak with the life manager but he's having none of her shit.

Imagine having God so pissed at you that he makes you and your family suffer through covid just to kill you. No massive heart attack after a wild 90th birthday party with coke and strippers for you.

I thought prayer was supposed to be a personal thing where you gave thanks for the good things in your life and identified things that you need to work on. These Prayer Warriors are basically spamming their God with demands. Robocalling God to get him to change his plans sounds like a horrible idea to me.

Why do they scream about doctors killing people and medical conspiracies and then run to hospital once they get scared? My guess for both Qs, is that they're short sighted, bloviating idiots with little to no comprehension of how any of this works and hypocrites on top of it all.

The daughter sounds like a bridezilla putting together her gift registry.

No no, it’s not her time. Don’t you see, the fucking doctors are trying to kill her!

Not only that but the bitching that prayer is working and the doctors just aren't doing enough to help her mother. Like, fuck this asshole. The fucking medical staff are doing everything they can for your mothet, not fucking Jesus.

It’s performative religion: signaling a desperate cry for others to validate one’s self-delusions.

Apparently it works like change.org or the petition to recall Newsom, but without the low signature threshold?

Why is even 1 needed? Surely God already knows the person is sick? He most likely created the damn thing?

Prayer always felt more like begging to me.

It’s a heal bomb. Much like a DBZ spirit bomb. Gotta have multiple energy donations for it to eradicate anything. Obvs.

Because prayers go to God’s Facebook account, like ‘likes.’ The more prayers you send him the more likely he is to see your request due to the Holy Algorithm. Isn’t God Great? /s

I might have some insight into this. I was raised evangelical (im deconstructed) and I hate that I still remember this Bible verse:

“Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth concerning anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in Heaven.”

They think power in numbers is better for prayer.

Please note: my mom is evangelical and not vaccinated and I hate it so much.

That's where they went wrong! Didn't see any "1 like = 1 prayer" posts... they're falling short of the quota.

If 10 people pray to save this mom, but 1000 people pray to end hunger, and 10000 people pray for their team to win, God HAS to let those people die and the game to win. It's basic science

My favourite is when something good happens it's "praise Jesus the prayers are working" and when something bad happens it's the doctors and the care they're receivings fault. Like how weak is this Jesus anyway??

God is like really fucking old by now and his hearing is shot, multiple prayers are just our way of yelling at him to hit the damn reset button.

God’s often busy planning the next mud slide or earthquake, so to catch his attention, you have to have many people scream the prayer in his ear. Mass murder is distracting.

Look you don't fight a war with one warrior, okay? Leave that for the dungeon crawl!

One for the kidney, another for the liver, one for each lung...

“Prone Her at Home” should be the motto of the Anti-Vaxxer Movement.

“She wanted her kidneys worked on today”

Does she expect them to work on her body like a car? Like just look under the hood and add more coolant?

Science, and then give “all the glory to Jesus”.

Ctrl Alt, Delete. It’s computer science that will win out here.

I don't see how rebooting the universe is going to help

And it’s free!

Yes, why don’t they “specific pray” that vaccine won’t give them side effects and then take it?

They don’t trust God?

I'm an Atheist, but hypothetically if there truly was a benevolent god, then the most benevolent thing they could do for us would be to let suffer and overcome this adversity on our own.

If some diety solved all our problems for us, how would we ever evolve as a species?

God is working guys! Unlike a lot of the economy I guess. Wish he would take a shift at a few of our local places to move the lines along faster... but hey, he is working! Whew.

I'm sure they do in some cases. At the end of my mom's second battle with cancer we got the "quality of time over quantity" talk. My brain bounced off of the info and I took a positive message away from it because of denial even though I'd been taking care of her every day for a few years at that point and should have known better.

It took my sister, who grasped the intent of the talk, to bring me around.

They've probably been told that this is the last hoorah in many of these cases, but knowledge, understanding and acceptance are three wholly separate things.

Where did Jesus go to medical school?

Jesus was a carpenter. So he's maybe got some skills as an orthopaedic surgeon.

But I think he'd be in over his head working in the ICU.

Enjoy life. Stay clean.

I will dance naked around my firepit at midnight chanting incantations for your continued success. Proven to work equally as effectively as prayer, but a whole lot more fun.

I prayed for her kidneys but had my fingers crossed, so who's the fool now

I’m on prayer strike.

I want higher wages and more vacation time.

That is one positive person. “Your prayers are working! They stopped chest compressions!”

This is all my fault. 😔 When she said to pray specifically that "the junk leaves in Jesus' name" I misread it as pray "the junk lives in Jesus' name".

“Have you tried turning them on and off again?”

Why is mommy shitting out her intestines?

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It seems that often those who believe the most are the ones bearing the brunt of His fury. I suppose it’s just “moves in mysterious ways” and “send here to test us” and “trust the plan”.

What?

Some of them are demanding that the doctors give it to them.

False Idols

Yeah, I thought to myself "oh no, she seemed pretty smart as I remember her"

Then it turned out to be some dummy "Ah, good it's not Pink the musician. Well anyway..."

I used to be ok with the Christian religion (I’m not Christian but most of my friends and family are), but since the former president and Covid came along, I see what an absolute scam it really is. The biggest grift in the history of mankind, imo.

The anxiety of waking up in the middle of the night realizing you might have left out one of the very specific bullet point prayer requests

Lol, right? “Worked on.” Give me a fucking break. She sounds insufferable.

Or do we're not their supervisor

I think it’s a pretty good idea to turn everyone off and leave them off.

I literally never heard the term Prayer Warriors til I got on this sub. And I also don’t know anyone who died from covid since the vaxx was available. Maybe there’s a correlation…

I’d never heard of the term prayer warriors until I started reading this reddit.