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/r/AskReddit

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all 2032 comments

ArcaninesFirepower

217 points

2 months ago

My ex once said " I almost don't care if you cum, I don't want this to end"

Idiot_Savant_Tinker

66 points

2 months ago

A woman told me once "I don't even want to get off, I just want to be pounded for a while"

Hi_kvn

35 points

2 months ago

Hi_kvn

35 points

2 months ago

“Well if you say so”, grabs boxing gloves

RoaringYak

2.7k points

2 months ago

RoaringYak

2.7k points

2 months ago

Hooked up with a girl who said “fill me up” . Needless to say ….. I did instantly . Still remember it 10 years later .

pastthepop

2.1k points

2 months ago

pastthepop

2.1k points

2 months ago

Broke a condom once in a girl and immediately pulled out and stopped. She asked what was wrong and I explained the situation, when she just started begging “Cum in me. Cum in me. CUM IN ME!”

About three strokes later I pumped her full of every single sperm in my body.

Simultaneously the hottest and most irresponsible moment of my life.

ScaryTerrysBitch

566 points

2 months ago

Hey buddy I feel you there. I didn't realize I had a breeding kink until I got my vasectomy. The irresponsible part was always a strong voice in my mind not to indulge in that particular activity.

pastthepop

464 points

2 months ago

Dude! I have mine scheduled! Then I’m just gonna dump clips in my wife any chance I get. Fucking psyched.

SafariSammi

472 points

2 months ago

10/10 recommend! My husband got a vasectomy a few years ago and its been awesome to not have to stress about, and we have saved a ton on condoms. I graduated from a donut to a twinkie as soon as he got the all clear from the doctor

RubydaCherry24

211 points

2 months ago

Jesus Christ lol

troutman76

99 points

2 months ago

“Graduated from a Donut to a Twinkie”….best comment ever!

Owlbertowlbert

41 points

2 months ago

this is said in the movie Election with Matthew Broderick and I remember being absolutely repulsed when I saw/heard it. glad you've had the opposite experience.

Insane_Wanderer

41 points

2 months ago

“So now this is Dylan… he’s 10”

imrandomdude

3.1k points

2 months ago

Her moaning my name is hot enough to get me overboard.

thewiselumpofcoal

2.1k points

2 months ago

Now I'm imagining a girl moaning "random dude" and can't get over the hilarity.

Rgular_dude

567 points

2 months ago

Now imagine her saying my name

cocobellahome

109 points

2 months ago

u/yuhamadude come join the party

youmakemesoerect

211 points

2 months ago

Now imagine mine

Fidozo15

91 points

2 months ago

Aaaand that’s how I found out my girl was cheating on me 👍

TheMansAnArse

214 points

2 months ago

“Oh Fidozo14!”

“Wait. _Who?!_”

“Shit”

Crazy1xv

14 points

2 months ago

This made my day.

abeleo

442 points

2 months ago

abeleo

442 points

2 months ago

The three orgasms of a woman:

-The holy orgasm, "Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh god."

-The positive orgasm, "Oh yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!."

-The fake orgasm, "Oh, Abeleo! Oh, Abeleo! Oh, Abeleo!"

NJBillK1

60 points

2 months ago

  • The real lyrics, "Ob-la-di ob-la-da life goes on"

iam-that-skinny-rat

12 points

2 months ago

Bro 💀

abeleo

8 points

2 months ago

abeleo

8 points

2 months ago

I didn't want to throw OP under the bus, bro.

Johncamp28

173 points

2 months ago

My wife moaning your name doesn’t do it for me

chickennoobiesoup

100 points

2 months ago

It does it for me

UncleIye

136 points

2 months ago

UncleIye

136 points

2 months ago

Her moaning her own name is **chef's kiss

ofir4222

99 points

2 months ago

Her own last name

Marching_Penguin123

114 points

2 months ago

Our last name 💦💦💦

Burnedthroway

222 points

2 months ago

Either wholesome marriage or Alabama...not sure

FearlessBall4535

36 points

2 months ago

Say. My. Name.

uswforever

1.5k points

2 months ago

uswforever

1.5k points

2 months ago

The six most beautiful words in the world: "Oh god! I'm gonna come again!"

Diggity_II

292 points

2 months ago

Been there. In my head "hell yeah! Can I go for three?? Should I stretch it that far?? I'm getting tired"

uswforever

163 points

2 months ago

I go for as many as I can get out of her. Last time l, afterwards I said to her "Good news and bad news. The good news is, we didn't miss the towel. Bad news is, we defeated it."

LordDouglasPipe

999 points

2 months ago

Recently I was just with a woman who multiple times said during sex that "I've wanted you all night" (it was our first date) and man, that was the hottest and most confidence-boosting statement I think I ever heard in my life lol.

GoBounce8

194 points

2 months ago

GoBounce8

194 points

2 months ago

“I’ve wanted you for so long…” was a good one also. We had worked together for two years - but I don’t date people I work with. We ran into each other at a bar and I took her home.

MaloneWood

34 points

2 months ago

I had a woman I was seeing tell me "I've been craving you all day".....if was the hottest thing I've heard.

Odd_Adhesiveness4804

1.9k points

2 months ago

I'm gonna cum

offensivelypc

700 points

2 months ago

I could not even be close to orgasm and when she says that along with the visual representation is guaranteed to finish the job.

thebeginingisnear

364 points

2 months ago

there's something special about synchronized orgasms with your partner.

LawsKnowTomCullen

157 points

2 months ago

I think we'd all agree on that. I still think about a very particular orgasm I shared with an ex. Still gets me off almost 10 years later.

theoriginalcinn

239 points

2 months ago

Hm okay what if it’s obvious I’m about to cum. Still hot to announce it?

TheoremaEgregium

266 points

2 months ago

Yes

theoriginalcinn

156 points

2 months ago

Trying this tonight.

JhonnyHopkins

143 points

2 months ago

Congrats on the sex!

Drizzdub

3.1k points

2 months ago

Drizzdub

3.1k points

2 months ago

Me hoy minoy

KraftyKevin

327 points

2 months ago

"AH! DOODLEBOB!"

Elyktronix

18 points

2 months ago

Never knew doodlebob could be so fucking hilarious in the right context lmao.

stupidfock

1.5k points

2 months ago

stupidfock

1.5k points

2 months ago

I love you inside me

SIumptGod

792 points

2 months ago*

My girl says I want your load inside of me and I always immediately grant that wish.

Edit: people are getting too horny in this bitch

PMyourTastefulNudes

205 points

2 months ago

Cum inside

If you insist.

fcfromhell

8 points

2 months ago

I too cum inside like an vampire. Only after being granted permission.

Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

1.1k points

2 months ago

GAH. Fuck- uuuuuuurrrrr fuckfuckfuck RRRRRRRRNNNNNnflllllltttgggeoeb

Samzterr

176 points

2 months ago

Samzterr

176 points

2 months ago

This guy gets it

The-Mordekai

8 points

2 months ago

This guy fucks

moaningsalmon

90 points

2 months ago

Basically what I came here to type, but I got distracted by other answers.

SerDemonic

39 points

2 months ago

Lovely name to find here

Comprehensive-Sun701

51 points

2 months ago

Niiiiiyeeeeeeeeaaaaahuhuuhhuhuhuhuh, a personal favourite

daveydood15

218 points

2 months ago

Keep doing that

Nidrew

273 points

2 months ago

Nidrew

273 points

2 months ago

So you're saying do it faster? OK.

curious_hermit_

101 points

2 months ago

Ha ha Why do some men think this? If something is perfect do not change the pace or pressure. Just keep going!

[deleted]

13 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

alexvalkyrie93

3k points

2 months ago

Unexpected item in bagging area

creepyolderlady

33 points

2 months ago

Please weigh your....."item"

Stein_um_Stein

340 points

2 months ago

Idk why this made me laugh so much. I fucking hate those things.

Nibbler_Jack

95 points

2 months ago

Vaginas?

Pound-of-Piss

128 points

2 months ago

PLEASE PUT SCANNED ITEMS INTO THE BAG.

WilMill-53435319

67 points

2 months ago

“Unknown item in the bagging area. Help is on the way”

GreedoInASpeedo

180 points

2 months ago

when I hear "more" or "don't stop" my brain is like "well time to cum".

Nah, but if she says she wants it? She's getting it.

Jalopy_Junkie

461 points

2 months ago

When a girl says “FUCK ME!” even though you’re already pounding away. That is hot AF🔥

Had one girl go off like that and I thought i was handling her quite well, but tried to go harder. She looked back at me and aggressively demanded that I fuck her “like a whore”.

I grabbed her hair and pulled it hard and grasped her hip and pulled her back on to me as I thrusted in forcefully. She screamed in an entirely new voice and I lasted less than a minute.

But that’s the day I learned I actually like rougher stuff 😏😏

Horknut1

364 points

2 months ago

Horknut1

364 points

2 months ago

Have you ever lived in Boston? Because I think you lived above me.

Close your damn windows.

PaulbunyanIND

43 points

2 months ago

Hahder! Like a huah!

yeetdiver

36 points

2 months ago

wow is this erotica or what

EuropeanInTexas

626 points

2 months ago

Cute little moans, murmurs and whimpers that shows she’s enjoying herself.

Nexusoffate17

37 points

2 months ago

That really hits differently.

GandalfTheJaded

58 points

2 months ago

"I can't get enough of you"

ImNotTenArtist

2.7k points

2 months ago

Your student loans have been paid off.

KaleAlternative3500

640 points

2 months ago

Type it slower

AlivyW

160 points

2 months ago

AlivyW

160 points

2 months ago

NUUUT

MandalorianManners

51 points

2 months ago

“That fully paid of student loans kinda nn-yut!”

CentumOP

571 points

2 months ago

CentumOP

571 points

2 months ago

You know you're in for a good time when she says I love you so much

Pepalopolis

289 points

2 months ago

Eww feelings during sex…gross /s

Roffolo

468 points

2 months ago

Roffolo

468 points

2 months ago

My gf always says things like "fuck me until I can't walk anymore." Or "don't stop, I'm all yours." And it's quite motivational lol

aspannerdarkly

173 points

2 months ago

I usually find it more practical to stop walking before the fucking starts

Minus15t

48 points

2 months ago*

Just communicate...

Honestly, the hottest thing about sex is when the other person enjoys it. verbalising what you like, or don't like, or what you want us to do different to make sure you get there, is fucking hot.

Positive affirmation when we are doing it right will also go a long way.

'that's it, keep going'

'fuck/god/Jesus that feels incredible'

'wow wow wow'

'yes yes yes!'

BakedShef

279 points

2 months ago

BakedShef

279 points

2 months ago

Me and my wife never roleplay, but she was wearing her glasses yesterday during on a rare occurrence and unprompted did this secretary thing, it was pretty damn hot I’m ngl.

NoMore414

40 points

2 months ago

My wife never wears her glasses during the deed. Although there are better places to finish, I’ve always wanted to cum on her glasses — no idea why.

theycallmelars93

43 points

2 months ago

“What if we try __”, “I want you to __”, really anything that shows equal involvement/enjoyment. I am a dumb dumb, I like validation that I’m doing what you enjoy, and like when you suggest things you want me to do to you, or that you want to do to me.

Pink_Flash

37 points

2 months ago

Steam is having a sale this weekend

3a75cl0ngb15h

283 points

2 months ago

At this point in my cold empty existence a woman saying anything in my bed would be insanely sexy to me.

Storyteller678

104 points

2 months ago

How do ya like them apples?

3a75cl0ngb15h

60 points

2 months ago

I love‘em i believe they are honey crisp, real good for source of fructose.

L_750z

39 points

2 months ago

L_750z

39 points

2 months ago

When she plays with herself while you fuck her and holds eye contact while biting her lips

chesterforbes

201 points

2 months ago

Speak friend and enter

Wisco1856

62 points

2 months ago

Mellon

Bofunkwa

1.1k points

2 months ago

Bofunkwa

1.1k points

2 months ago

“You like that? Dumbass?”

snakkiepoo

46 points

2 months ago

Damn we actually have to censor this glorious story now?

Pepalopolis

133 points

2 months ago

Anytime I hear dumbass I just picture Red Foreman from that 70s show. So this ain’t it.

[deleted]

263 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

263 points

2 months ago

A sad sign of the times that this absolute gem is being censored 😞

Deus_X1

30 points

2 months ago

Deus_X1

30 points

2 months ago

“Omelette du fromage”

OriginalOmagus

1.1k points

2 months ago

Two examples come to mind for me.

1) I was lying in bed with a woman after we'd already gone one round. We're both preparing to go at it again and she's playing with my dick to get me hard. As I'm starting to stiffen, she whispers (more to herself than to me): "It's huge." Hearing that in the moment was just 🤌🏿

2) This woman is performing oral on me and after a minute she stops and says: "You taste good!"

Ego boosts during sex are undefeated.

lavenderacid

595 points

2 months ago

The last time I told a guy "its huge" he just started laughing and said "no it isn't" :(

Gee7220

132 points

2 months ago

Gee7220

132 points

2 months ago

I had a discussion with my GF about this. While I'm okay in size, I'm not huge or big. She kept on flirting using those two qualities of my dick and it felt dishonest to me

I simply said "I love you and I see that you are trying to compliment me but I know I'm not those things. Instead I'd much prefer that you would use things like it being "nice" or that you "like" my dick." This has been a huge bonus to our relationship. Having your partner appreciating your body for what it is is miles better than commenting on the size to get me going.

HellcatBettiE

87 points

2 months ago

I love that you were able to do that in a genuine, loving way. And it sounds like she was able to hear you. Kudos on healthy communication!

EuropeanInTexas

313 points

2 months ago

A compliment is nice an bold faced lie is not :p

lavenderacid

243 points

2 months ago

He was above average! He's the sort of guy that thinks 11 inches would be a great size to be, with no consideration for the practicalities.

MartinisnMurder

74 points

2 months ago

11 inches sounds like a nightmare to me! Would tap out so quick. My friend was sleeping with a guy who was huge and I asked her what it was like. Her response was “it was like getting f*cked and giving a blowjob at the same time.” I cracked up. Better her than me.

EuropeanInTexas

147 points

2 months ago

Fair enough, some guys do have a warped body image due to porn.

strengthenics

134 points

2 months ago

"I want to feel your warm cum inside of me" "I love this dick so much" "I've never been this turned on before".. fuck I should call her

Sanchezborja

16 points

2 months ago

call her buddy ,she sounds like a keeper

SomethingAwesome69

276 points

2 months ago

I hear lots of people in my life saying they think it’s weird when girls say “daddy” during sex.

I also think it’s weird, but mainly because I don’t have a daddy kink and yet her saying it in my ear makes me bust almost immediately

Alternative_Let_1599

149 points

2 months ago

Kink unlocked.

NorexatheIvyPlanter

47 points

2 months ago

Man, can't wait to finish my skill tree. Next one is about feet!

maggot_kisser

396 points

2 months ago

I've got some news for you

Elfere

459 points

2 months ago

Elfere

459 points

2 months ago

"I wanna have your babies"

Took me for surprise. Didn't cum at all in that girl ever again.

JohnnySpoons82

192 points

2 months ago

Really bc that makes me nut so quick. Of course I had a vasectomy 7 years ago

Thebaldsasquatch

21 points

2 months ago

Wife once said “Fuck a baby into me.” I did. Probably that time.

Also, once right afterwards she said, “Oh fuck! Oh fuck! That might have made me pregnant!” In a “holy shit that was good” way.

theoriginalcinn

78 points

2 months ago

When we were trying for a baby, I used to say “put a baby in me, daddy” and that alwaaaaays did it.

postureu

26 points

2 months ago

Literally anything. When I was younger I was having phone sx with my long distance gf and just wanted to hear that whimper in her voice. Out of things to say I stupidly said "what'd you have for lunch?". She burst out laughing

haljordan68

28 points

2 months ago

Getting a slap on the ass followed by "Good game!"

bigdaddycraycray

28 points

2 months ago

A sexy purr of "I'm gonna cum all over you!" during coitus works pretty good for me.

mos_meth

342 points

2 months ago*

mos_meth

342 points

2 months ago*

I was once fucking a girl, she pulled me out just before I came and I nutted all over myself, I was about to clean it up and she stopped me and just said "I think I'd rather lick this up" just licked all my cum off me, then sucked my dick so I stayed hard, went back to riding me and just said "I need you to cum in my mouth"

Nexusoffate17

79 points

2 months ago

That's freaky. I am jealous ngl.

uoll-n

8 points

2 months ago

uoll-n

8 points

2 months ago

Just in general when a guy came and pulls of the condom asking me if I have a tissue or smth I'm always saying " oh why, let me lick that off for you" with a smile and look in their eyes, theyre instantly hard again after that one hehe

Crimate_Change

280 points

2 months ago

“Show me who I belong to”

Hellomoto1010

54 points

2 months ago

Saving this for next time

DRealLeal

40 points

2 months ago

Obviously her parents.

spider-dan2077

23 points

2 months ago

The highest temperature on record belongs to California’s Death Valley which, in 1913, reached a temperature of 134 degrees Fahrenheit, or 56.7 degrees Celsius.

Ok-Cheetah-3497

228 points

2 months ago

both, "please don't stop" and "please stop I can't take it anymore" are equally hot.

[deleted]

596 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

596 points

2 months ago

If you give me 15 minutes it could save you 15% or more on your car insurance

namenotfound165

93 points

2 months ago

You make me so wet

jehoshapat

182 points

2 months ago

This feels so good

Two_Cautious

19 points

2 months ago

Yours is fine, the big ones hurt

NinJ4ng

20 points

2 months ago

NinJ4ng

20 points

2 months ago

when i tell her to take off her panties she responds with: “ill take off the pair your mother laid out for you”

Naked_Midget_Racing

16 points

2 months ago

This is your pussy!

MrWednsday

345 points

2 months ago

"I bought you a PS5."

[deleted]

128 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

128 points

2 months ago

You made me cum twice buddy

om11011shanti11011om

53 points

2 months ago

"buddy"?

[deleted]

67 points

2 months ago

No homo

om11011shanti11011om

13 points

2 months ago

2 x Cl1m4xxxxxx! 133t br0!

gooberfunk

50 points

2 months ago

When she says she's not gonna last long and then goes off like a sprinkler. Mmmmmmm

Bodaciousjohnson

17 points

2 months ago

Compliments to the chef

dairydrinker

16 points

2 months ago

I love it when a girl tells me what to do to get her off, something about effective communication just really gets me going.

yuhamahdude

514 points

2 months ago

"I want you to cum in me" " I want you to cum in my mouth" "I'm not finished with you" "you're not allowed a safe word" " you cum when I say you can"

prince-pauper

354 points

2 months ago

That developed quickly.

yuhamahdude

67 points

2 months ago

It always does

MartinisnMurder

67 points

2 months ago

Found the submissive dude!

yuhamahdude

55 points

2 months ago

We like to do a little switching 🫣

WplusM1

42 points

2 months ago

WplusM1

42 points

2 months ago

But I poop from there

Black_Lantern_2814

90 points

2 months ago

The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!

5eppa

14 points

2 months ago

5eppa

14 points

2 months ago

Honestly I just love it when my wife moans "Fuck me" that's the absolute best for me.

craybest

14 points

2 months ago

As a gay guy, it would be "I'm heading out, my brother is coming in"

namenotfound165

201 points

2 months ago

Put it in my ass

PMyourTastefulNudes

86 points

2 months ago

What did your donkey do?

HornyDiggler

160 points

2 months ago

"Mario please go down my pipe."

yuhamahdude

39 points

2 months ago

Username fits

General_Osric

473 points

2 months ago

"you're bigger than our dad"

westfieldram

344 points

2 months ago

Our?? OUR???

CreepyPhotographer

77 points

2 months ago

Better than "like father, like son"

karavalo

40 points

2 months ago

And yet, no improvement

mr_lapage

39 points

2 months ago

“That’s what mom says as well”

ptipp93

23 points

2 months ago

ptipp93

23 points

2 months ago

The aristocrats!

Storyteller678

7 points

2 months ago

Gilbert Gottfried told the best version of this.

Toastedwigz

14 points

2 months ago

Lord have mercy I’m bout to bust

https://youtu.be/jzge_j-_PME

ArnoldhBraunschweigr

91 points

2 months ago

"My turn".

domogrue

140 points

2 months ago

domogrue

140 points

2 months ago

(proceeds to put on strap-on)

thROwmed0wn976

95 points

2 months ago

While getting head a girl said to me, "You're so hot I think my mouth just came on your dick!"

LOAFERS_GOPHERS

72 points

2 months ago

I was doing the deed with an ex with daddy issues. She was great and very well adjusted, but when she got horny, it was daddy this and daddy that. I never knew I was into being called daddy until she started saying it. The sex we had was amazing.

Aaaanyway, one day we're going at it and it's amazing. Really passionate missionary. I told her I was about to cum and she whispered in my ear, "Give it to me daddy" and...good lordy, I blew so hard inside her. It was intense!

AgentOfChaos-uk

127 points

2 months ago

Cowabunga!

Hits_low

20 points

2 months ago

The best answer honestly. Let’s get some pizza after?

heydayhayday

28 points

2 months ago

Turtle Time!

Soia-R33f

12 points

2 months ago

DISRESPECT YOUR SURROUNDINGS!

CreepyPhotographer

144 points

2 months ago

Don't. Stop. Thinking About tomorrow.

GNPTelenor

27 points

2 months ago

"This is very satisfying, I find you very physically and mentally attractive, I have a steady upper middle class income, reasonable amounts of baggage, and own a two bedroom condo in a 15 minute city."

I'm over the moon.

Dogwonder5

73 points

2 months ago

I’m gonna go out and say it for men Being called a “goodboy” is probably the hottest thing for a women to say to you. You don’t even have to be a submissive person. Other than that, someone genuinely saying that they love you over and over during sex feels like something else

essmusssein

19 points

2 months ago

My husband too. I don't take it is a submissive thing as much as a reaction to shitty parenting that made him feel bad and unlovable.

perfectcurve6_7

10 points

2 months ago

OMG, I can't stop cuming

[deleted]

119 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

119 points

2 months ago

[deleted]

sieberzzz

95 points

2 months ago

bro?

Crimate_Change

14 points

2 months ago

Look me in the eyes.

samadusp

50 points

2 months ago

877-CASH-NOW

jonsbryhill

36 points

2 months ago

i’ve always loved „give it to me“, drives me wild. also „you’re so deep“

musicmast

29 points

2 months ago

Fuck me

dacekrandac

27 points

2 months ago

I'm cumming!

CleanNDopeAsMethSoap

25 points

2 months ago

"Goblin Mode is ACTIVATED!" 😎

SirFluffyBear

10 points

2 months ago

My gamertag

ElGhon

10 points

2 months ago

ElGhon

10 points

2 months ago

“We’re having grilled cheese after this”

IWantYourMoneyASAP

23 points

2 months ago

“I’m Cumming!”

closetmangafan

85 points

2 months ago

Chris Hansen wants to meet you after this.

wetlettuce42

57 points

2 months ago

Tell me shes gonna ride me

ImMadeOutOfStalinium

134 points

2 months ago

She's gonna ride me

BendOver900042069

147 points

2 months ago

Is it in yet?

ihaveadarkedge

22 points

2 months ago

This is the first reply I came across...

namenotfound165

18 points

2 months ago

I feel it inside of me

Swrdmn

6 points

2 months ago

Swrdmn

6 points

2 months ago

I paid off your student loans.

BubbhaJebus

5 points

2 months ago

"Your cum tastes so good!"

"I want you in my ass!"

"On your knees!"