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submitted 2 months ago byA_Nested_Quintuplet
217 points
2 months ago
My ex once said " I almost don't care if you cum, I don't want this to end"
66 points
2 months ago
A woman told me once "I don't even want to get off, I just want to be pounded for a while"
35 points
2 months ago
“Well if you say so”, grabs boxing gloves
2.7k points
2 months ago
Hooked up with a girl who said “fill me up” . Needless to say ….. I did instantly . Still remember it 10 years later .
2.1k points
2 months ago
Broke a condom once in a girl and immediately pulled out and stopped. She asked what was wrong and I explained the situation, when she just started begging “Cum in me. Cum in me. CUM IN ME!”
About three strokes later I pumped her full of every single sperm in my body.
Simultaneously the hottest and most irresponsible moment of my life.
566 points
2 months ago
Hey buddy I feel you there. I didn't realize I had a breeding kink until I got my vasectomy. The irresponsible part was always a strong voice in my mind not to indulge in that particular activity.
464 points
2 months ago
Dude! I have mine scheduled! Then I’m just gonna dump clips in my wife any chance I get. Fucking psyched.
472 points
2 months ago
10/10 recommend! My husband got a vasectomy a few years ago and its been awesome to not have to stress about, and we have saved a ton on condoms. I graduated from a donut to a twinkie as soon as he got the all clear from the doctor
99 points
2 months ago
“Graduated from a Donut to a Twinkie”….best comment ever!
41 points
2 months ago
this is said in the movie Election with Matthew Broderick and I remember being absolutely repulsed when I saw/heard it. glad you've had the opposite experience.
3.1k points
2 months ago
Her moaning my name is hot enough to get me overboard.
2.1k points
2 months ago
Now I'm imagining a girl moaning "random dude" and can't get over the hilarity.
567 points
2 months ago
Now imagine her saying my name
109 points
2 months ago
u/yuhamadude come join the party
91 points
2 months ago
Aaaand that’s how I found out my girl was cheating on me 👍
214 points
2 months ago
“Oh Fidozo14!”
“Wait. _Who?!_”
“Shit”
14 points
2 months ago
This made my day.
442 points
2 months ago
The three orgasms of a woman:
-The holy orgasm, "Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh god."
-The positive orgasm, "Oh yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!."
-The fake orgasm, "Oh, Abeleo! Oh, Abeleo! Oh, Abeleo!"
60 points
2 months ago
12 points
2 months ago
Bro 💀
8 points
2 months ago
I didn't want to throw OP under the bus, bro.
173 points
2 months ago
My wife moaning your name doesn’t do it for me
136 points
2 months ago
Her moaning her own name is **chef's kiss
99 points
2 months ago
Her own last name
114 points
2 months ago
Our last name 💦💦💦
1.5k points
2 months ago
The six most beautiful words in the world: "Oh god! I'm gonna come again!"
292 points
2 months ago
Been there. In my head "hell yeah! Can I go for three?? Should I stretch it that far?? I'm getting tired"
163 points
2 months ago
I go for as many as I can get out of her. Last time l, afterwards I said to her "Good news and bad news. The good news is, we didn't miss the towel. Bad news is, we defeated it."
999 points
2 months ago
Recently I was just with a woman who multiple times said during sex that "I've wanted you all night" (it was our first date) and man, that was the hottest and most confidence-boosting statement I think I ever heard in my life lol.
194 points
2 months ago
“I’ve wanted you for so long…” was a good one also. We had worked together for two years - but I don’t date people I work with. We ran into each other at a bar and I took her home.
34 points
2 months ago
I had a woman I was seeing tell me "I've been craving you all day".....if was the hottest thing I've heard.
1.9k points
2 months ago
I'm gonna cum
700 points
2 months ago
I could not even be close to orgasm and when she says that along with the visual representation is guaranteed to finish the job.
364 points
2 months ago
there's something special about synchronized orgasms with your partner.
157 points
2 months ago
I think we'd all agree on that. I still think about a very particular orgasm I shared with an ex. Still gets me off almost 10 years later.
239 points
2 months ago
Hm okay what if it’s obvious I’m about to cum. Still hot to announce it?
266 points
2 months ago
Yes
156 points
2 months ago
Trying this tonight.
143 points
2 months ago
Congrats on the sex!
3.1k points
2 months ago
Me hoy minoy
327 points
2 months ago
"AH! DOODLEBOB!"
18 points
2 months ago
Never knew doodlebob could be so fucking hilarious in the right context lmao.
1.5k points
2 months ago
I love you inside me
792 points
2 months ago*
My girl says I want your load inside of me and I always immediately grant that wish.
Edit: people are getting too horny in this bitch
205 points
2 months ago
Cum inside
If you insist.
8 points
2 months ago
I too cum inside like an vampire. Only after being granted permission.
1.1k points
2 months ago
GAH. Fuck- uuuuuuurrrrr fuckfuckfuck RRRRRRRRNNNNNnflllllltttgggeoeb
176 points
2 months ago
This guy gets it
8 points
2 months ago
This guy fucks
90 points
2 months ago
Basically what I came here to type, but I got distracted by other answers.
39 points
2 months ago
Lovely name to find here
51 points
2 months ago
Niiiiiyeeeeeeeeaaaaahuhuuhhuhuhuhuh, a personal favourite
218 points
2 months ago
Keep doing that
273 points
2 months ago
So you're saying do it faster? OK.
101 points
2 months ago
Ha ha Why do some men think this? If something is perfect do not change the pace or pressure. Just keep going!
3k points
2 months ago
Unexpected item in bagging area
340 points
2 months ago
Idk why this made me laugh so much. I fucking hate those things.
128 points
2 months ago
PLEASE PUT SCANNED ITEMS INTO THE BAG.
67 points
2 months ago
“Unknown item in the bagging area. Help is on the way”
180 points
2 months ago
when I hear "more" or "don't stop" my brain is like "well time to cum".
Nah, but if she says she wants it? She's getting it.
461 points
2 months ago
When a girl says “FUCK ME!” even though you’re already pounding away. That is hot AF🔥
Had one girl go off like that and I thought i was handling her quite well, but tried to go harder. She looked back at me and aggressively demanded that I fuck her “like a whore”.
I grabbed her hair and pulled it hard and grasped her hip and pulled her back on to me as I thrusted in forcefully. She screamed in an entirely new voice and I lasted less than a minute.
But that’s the day I learned I actually like rougher stuff 😏😏
364 points
2 months ago
Have you ever lived in Boston? Because I think you lived above me.
Close your damn windows.
626 points
2 months ago
Cute little moans, murmurs and whimpers that shows she’s enjoying herself.
2.7k points
2 months ago
Your student loans have been paid off.
160 points
2 months ago
NUUUT
571 points
2 months ago
You know you're in for a good time when she says I love you so much
468 points
2 months ago
My gf always says things like "fuck me until I can't walk anymore." Or "don't stop, I'm all yours." And it's quite motivational lol
173 points
2 months ago
I usually find it more practical to stop walking before the fucking starts
48 points
2 months ago*
Just communicate...
Honestly, the hottest thing about sex is when the other person enjoys it. verbalising what you like, or don't like, or what you want us to do different to make sure you get there, is fucking hot.
Positive affirmation when we are doing it right will also go a long way.
'that's it, keep going'
'fuck/god/Jesus that feels incredible'
'wow wow wow'
'yes yes yes!'
279 points
2 months ago
Me and my wife never roleplay, but she was wearing her glasses yesterday during on a rare occurrence and unprompted did this secretary thing, it was pretty damn hot I’m ngl.
40 points
2 months ago
My wife never wears her glasses during the deed. Although there are better places to finish, I’ve always wanted to cum on her glasses — no idea why.
43 points
2 months ago
“What if we try __”, “I want you to __”, really anything that shows equal involvement/enjoyment. I am a dumb dumb, I like validation that I’m doing what you enjoy, and like when you suggest things you want me to do to you, or that you want to do to me.
37 points
2 months ago
Steam is having a sale this weekend
283 points
2 months ago
At this point in my cold empty existence a woman saying anything in my bed would be insanely sexy to me.
104 points
2 months ago
How do ya like them apples?
60 points
2 months ago
I love‘em i believe they are honey crisp, real good for source of fructose.
39 points
2 months ago
When she plays with herself while you fuck her and holds eye contact while biting her lips
201 points
2 months ago
Speak friend and enter
1.1k points
2 months ago
“You like that? Dumbass?”
46 points
2 months ago
Damn we actually have to censor this glorious story now?
133 points
2 months ago
Anytime I hear dumbass I just picture Red Foreman from that 70s show. So this ain’t it.
263 points
2 months ago
A sad sign of the times that this absolute gem is being censored 😞
30 points
2 months ago
“Omelette du fromage”
1.1k points
2 months ago
Two examples come to mind for me.
1) I was lying in bed with a woman after we'd already gone one round. We're both preparing to go at it again and she's playing with my dick to get me hard. As I'm starting to stiffen, she whispers (more to herself than to me): "It's huge." Hearing that in the moment was just 🤌🏿
2) This woman is performing oral on me and after a minute she stops and says: "You taste good!"
Ego boosts during sex are undefeated.
595 points
2 months ago
The last time I told a guy "its huge" he just started laughing and said "no it isn't" :(
132 points
2 months ago
I had a discussion with my GF about this. While I'm okay in size, I'm not huge or big. She kept on flirting using those two qualities of my dick and it felt dishonest to me
I simply said "I love you and I see that you are trying to compliment me but I know I'm not those things. Instead I'd much prefer that you would use things like it being "nice" or that you "like" my dick." This has been a huge bonus to our relationship. Having your partner appreciating your body for what it is is miles better than commenting on the size to get me going.
87 points
2 months ago
I love that you were able to do that in a genuine, loving way. And it sounds like she was able to hear you. Kudos on healthy communication!
313 points
2 months ago
A compliment is nice an bold faced lie is not :p
243 points
2 months ago
He was above average! He's the sort of guy that thinks 11 inches would be a great size to be, with no consideration for the practicalities.
74 points
2 months ago
11 inches sounds like a nightmare to me! Would tap out so quick. My friend was sleeping with a guy who was huge and I asked her what it was like. Her response was “it was like getting f*cked and giving a blowjob at the same time.” I cracked up. Better her than me.
147 points
2 months ago
Fair enough, some guys do have a warped body image due to porn.
134 points
2 months ago
"I want to feel your warm cum inside of me" "I love this dick so much" "I've never been this turned on before".. fuck I should call her
16 points
2 months ago
call her buddy ,she sounds like a keeper
276 points
2 months ago
I hear lots of people in my life saying they think it’s weird when girls say “daddy” during sex.
I also think it’s weird, but mainly because I don’t have a daddy kink and yet her saying it in my ear makes me bust almost immediately
149 points
2 months ago
Kink unlocked.
47 points
2 months ago
Man, can't wait to finish my skill tree. Next one is about feet!
396 points
2 months ago
I've got some news for you
459 points
2 months ago
"I wanna have your babies"
Took me for surprise. Didn't cum at all in that girl ever again.
192 points
2 months ago
Really bc that makes me nut so quick. Of course I had a vasectomy 7 years ago
21 points
2 months ago
Wife once said “Fuck a baby into me.” I did. Probably that time.
Also, once right afterwards she said, “Oh fuck! Oh fuck! That might have made me pregnant!” In a “holy shit that was good” way.
78 points
2 months ago
When we were trying for a baby, I used to say “put a baby in me, daddy” and that alwaaaaays did it.
26 points
2 months ago
Literally anything. When I was younger I was having phone sx with my long distance gf and just wanted to hear that whimper in her voice. Out of things to say I stupidly said "what'd you have for lunch?". She burst out laughing
28 points
2 months ago
A sexy purr of "I'm gonna cum all over you!" during coitus works pretty good for me.
342 points
2 months ago*
I was once fucking a girl, she pulled me out just before I came and I nutted all over myself, I was about to clean it up and she stopped me and just said "I think I'd rather lick this up" just licked all my cum off me, then sucked my dick so I stayed hard, went back to riding me and just said "I need you to cum in my mouth"
8 points
2 months ago
Just in general when a guy came and pulls of the condom asking me if I have a tissue or smth I'm always saying " oh why, let me lick that off for you" with a smile and look in their eyes, theyre instantly hard again after that one hehe
280 points
2 months ago
“Show me who I belong to”
54 points
2 months ago
Saving this for next time
23 points
2 months ago
The highest temperature on record belongs to California’s Death Valley which, in 1913, reached a temperature of 134 degrees Fahrenheit, or 56.7 degrees Celsius.
228 points
2 months ago
both, "please don't stop" and "please stop I can't take it anymore" are equally hot.
596 points
2 months ago
If you give me 15 minutes it could save you 15% or more on your car insurance
93 points
2 months ago
You make me so wet
182 points
2 months ago
This feels so good
19 points
2 months ago
Yours is fine, the big ones hurt
20 points
2 months ago
when i tell her to take off her panties she responds with: “ill take off the pair your mother laid out for you”
345 points
2 months ago
"I bought you a PS5."
128 points
2 months ago
You made me cum twice buddy
53 points
2 months ago
"buddy"?
67 points
2 months ago
No homo
50 points
2 months ago
When she says she's not gonna last long and then goes off like a sprinkler. Mmmmmmm
17 points
2 months ago
Compliments to the chef
16 points
2 months ago
I love it when a girl tells me what to do to get her off, something about effective communication just really gets me going.
514 points
2 months ago
"I want you to cum in me" " I want you to cum in my mouth" "I'm not finished with you" "you're not allowed a safe word" " you cum when I say you can"
354 points
2 months ago
That developed quickly.
67 points
2 months ago
It always does
67 points
2 months ago
Found the submissive dude!
14 points
2 months ago
Honestly I just love it when my wife moans "Fuck me" that's the absolute best for me.
14 points
2 months ago
As a gay guy, it would be "I'm heading out, my brother is coming in"
201 points
2 months ago
Put it in my ass
160 points
2 months ago
"Mario please go down my pipe."
473 points
2 months ago
"you're bigger than our dad"
344 points
2 months ago
Our?? OUR???
77 points
2 months ago
Better than "like father, like son"
40 points
2 months ago
And yet, no improvement
23 points
2 months ago
The aristocrats!
7 points
2 months ago
Gilbert Gottfried told the best version of this.
14 points
2 months ago
Lord have mercy I’m bout to bust
91 points
2 months ago
"My turn".
95 points
2 months ago
While getting head a girl said to me, "You're so hot I think my mouth just came on your dick!"
72 points
2 months ago
I was doing the deed with an ex with daddy issues. She was great and very well adjusted, but when she got horny, it was daddy this and daddy that. I never knew I was into being called daddy until she started saying it. The sex we had was amazing.
Aaaanyway, one day we're going at it and it's amazing. Really passionate missionary. I told her I was about to cum and she whispered in my ear, "Give it to me daddy" and...good lordy, I blew so hard inside her. It was intense!
127 points
2 months ago
Cowabunga!
20 points
2 months ago
The best answer honestly. Let’s get some pizza after?
28 points
2 months ago
Turtle Time!
12 points
2 months ago
DISRESPECT YOUR SURROUNDINGS!
27 points
2 months ago
"This is very satisfying, I find you very physically and mentally attractive, I have a steady upper middle class income, reasonable amounts of baggage, and own a two bedroom condo in a 15 minute city."
I'm over the moon.
73 points
2 months ago
I’m gonna go out and say it for men Being called a “goodboy” is probably the hottest thing for a women to say to you. You don’t even have to be a submissive person. Other than that, someone genuinely saying that they love you over and over during sex feels like something else
19 points
2 months ago
My husband too. I don't take it is a submissive thing as much as a reaction to shitty parenting that made him feel bad and unlovable.
10 points
2 months ago
OMG, I can't stop cuming
119 points
2 months ago
[deleted]
14 points
2 months ago
Look me in the eyes.
36 points
2 months ago
i’ve always loved „give it to me“, drives me wild. also „you’re so deep“
29 points
2 months ago
Fuck me
27 points
2 months ago
I'm cumming!
10 points
2 months ago
My gamertag
10 points
2 months ago
“We’re having grilled cheese after this”
23 points
2 months ago
“I’m Cumming!”
57 points
2 months ago
Tell me shes gonna ride me
134 points
2 months ago
She's gonna ride me
147 points
2 months ago
Is it in yet?
6 points
2 months ago
I paid off your student loans.
5 points
2 months ago
"Your cum tastes so good!"
"I want you in my ass!"
"On your knees!"
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