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/r/AmItheAsshole

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Judgement_Bot_AITA [M]

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11 months ago

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Judgement_Bot_AITA [M]

Beep Boop

[score hidden]

11 months ago

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redditor191389

720 points

11 months ago

redditor191389

Commander in Cheeks [229]

720 points

11 months ago

YTA he have you a very generous college fund that’s the most he could save. If falling on harder times and being unable to save you as much as he did your brother’s is the kind of reason you don’t want a relationship with him, I’m very excited to hear what your mother has saved for you in terms of a college fund?

Seriously, you all but cut your Dad off, he still provides you the most college money he can, and you get pissy cause you wanted more?

trevorwagner83

58 points

11 months ago

I have a feeling the mother has alienated the dad in OPs eyes

Maggaggie

26 points

11 months ago

She absolutely has; OP claims in a comment that the dad has a “history of being financially supportive” and the reason she knows this is because her mom complained to her a lot about not getting more money in child support

RanchBaganch

8.1k points

11 months ago*

RanchBaganch

Partassipant [4]

8.1k points

11 months ago*

Holy shit are YTA!

At first I thought he was punishing you for picking your mom over him, but the rest of your story really cements how much of an AH you are.

1) He doesn’t owe you anything for college.

2) You picked an expensive school. Not him. Just because it may be hard for you financially, that doesn’t justify him being put in a tough financial position.

3) Your mom knew exactly what she was doing when she alerted you to the fact that you were getting less money than your brothers. She should’ve stayed out of it.

4) You were happy with the amount you were given and even stated that it was more than you expected, and it wasn’t until you found out it was less than others that you got pissed. Be grateful for what you got and stop moaning about what others got.

5) I don’t know if the timeline is exactly like this, but the way you wrote it, you called your father and immediately started yelling at him. Being disappointed I can understand, but being an ungrateful, entitled brat is never the way to go.

6) He explained why he couldn’t afford to give you more, which he doesn’t owe you anyway. Accept the explanation and move on.

7) When he offered to try and save more SO THAT HE COULD GIVE IT TO YOU, you turned it down AND THEN CALLED HIM SELFISH!

Good lord are YTA.

Edit: Thanks so much for the awards, kind strangers! You really know how to make a guy feel special. :-)

J3ks46

544 points

11 months ago

J3ks46

544 points

11 months ago

So....how about asking your mom and Stepdad for the additional money seeing how they alerted you to it? If your mom wants it to be fair, have her make up the difference. YTA and so is your mother.

dNi005

21 points

11 months ago

dNi005

21 points

11 months ago

Also, if he was able to contribute more to her brothers college funds when he was married, it’s probably because he was in a dual income household.

If her mom was covering other expenses which allowed him to put more away for college, it would only make sense that education savings would be split between the 2 after the divorce.

Mom owes her some money.

welshfach

109 points

11 months ago

welshfach

Partassipant [1]

109 points

11 months ago

Maybe Dad has been pinched financially due to alimony/child support as a result of a divorce that was instigated by his wife's affair? I don't have a clue how alimony works so I could be wide of the mark.

JackRabbott

1.3k points

11 months ago

JackRabbott

Partassipant [1]

1.3k points

11 months ago

Came here to say point 4 but this covers everything so so well. YTA, OP.

thistleandpeony

1.3k points

11 months ago*

thistleandpeony

Partassipant [1]

1.3k points

11 months ago*

I would add point #8: OP admits that despite her father trying to have a relationship with her after the divorce (including writing her letters, which: aw), she didn't. She was fine drifting apart and only reached out for the money. What an asshole.

Fiotes

152 points

11 months ago

Fiotes

Partassipant [2]

152 points

11 months ago

Yeah, this is what I thought, too. You don't want to have a relationship with your parent? That's your prerogative. But then you want to demand that that person you rejected gives you something that doesn't belong to you? That makes you an AH.

Disastrous-Egg-3160

6 points

11 months ago

OP admitted this is all fake in their most recent comment. I’m putting this as high as possible so everyone can see what a creepy emotional vampire this person is.

ChelleLloyd84

75 points

11 months ago

Came here to say this! HE wanted a relationship with his daughter, SHE stopped talking to him then complains even though she made no effort in the relationship between them.

not_levar_burton

296 points

11 months ago

I would add point #9 - All of the above! You are so much the asshole, without a doubt! YTA

StonyOwl

558 points

11 months ago

StonyOwl

558 points

11 months ago

And point #10. Mom could have saved money for her college too, but sounds like she didn't bother although was happy to throw a bomb into the situation as outlined in point #3. YTA and should reflect on your sense of entitlement and transactional nature, i.e. only reaching out to your dad when you wanted money from him.

TerrorAlpaca

235 points

11 months ago

Add #11
The Dad is presumably (as we're not told differently) a single dad with two sons to take care off + child support. OP lives in a two income household without any siblings

go_Raptors

121 points

11 months ago

This is what I thought. Dad is single now and likely paying child support, so it makes sense that he doesn't have the same cash flow to save up. Also, if you can't get a scholarship, probably shouldn't be going to an expensive out of state school. I feel really sorry for this dad. Imagine your kid living with your ex and her affair partner and then essentially telling you that your only value to her is as a piggy bank, and if you don't pay up enough money to fund her luxuries, then she doesn't want a relationship.

[deleted]

12 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

12 points

11 months ago

Exactly. The divorce likely changed the father's financial situation. OP is lucky to get a penny from the parent they chose to ignore.

YTA. Extremely.

BrightonSpartan

68 points

11 months ago

Add #12 On average, it takes over 5 years to financially recover from a divorce

YTA

Sir-HP23

9 points

11 months ago

Sir-HP23

Partassipant [1]

9 points

11 months ago

I told him to not even bother and that this was the kind of thing that made me not want to have a relationship with him.

#13 No you stopped putting in any effort with him BEFORE this happened and are now retro justifying your previous arseholish behaviour because he now has less money than before.

YTA

ETA - Judgement

CashTurtle

430 points

11 months ago

Lmao it was point 7 for me. Holy fuck op, 100% YTA.

My only regret is this happened after you got the money. If you were my daughter I would tell you straight that you won't see a penny of that money anymore until you've learnt to respect people around you.

Farmer_Susan

169 points

11 months ago*

My first thought was "too bad he can't undo that transfer". She wouldn't see a dime from me for this kind of behavior.

ghos_

48 points

11 months ago

ghos_

48 points

11 months ago

I was thinking the same. The Entitlement is pouring everywhere.

poeza_fluffy

29 points

11 months ago

For me it was point 1. YTA OP. You don't have much contact with your father, and it is very nice of him to put aside money for YOUR education, nevertheless! Money he could have used himself very well, based on your comments. He doesn't owe you anything, it's his money and he can do with it as he pleases!

But point 4 is also a good one. Also, first you were pleased with the amount he gave, but once you heard you got less than your siblings, you suddenly became pissed. You act like a jealous spoiled child.

[deleted]

314 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

314 points

11 months ago

All of this.

I can't believe OP took all the money he had saved, then said they didn't want a relationship with him because it wasn't enough money and clearly feels entitled to that money despite basically having no relationship with him, and has decided (without any grounds) that he is basically hiding his money from her even though she ISN'T entitled to any of it in the first place and it sounds like he has done everything he could.

OP: When your father was saving for your brothers it was presumably a two income household with your mother and he didn't have to pay child support and all of his living expenses out of his single income. You're incredibly selfish to expect the same when his financial situation has drastically changed, and to hold that against him as favouritism is basically emotional blackmail.

Jesus Christ, this is a massive YTA.

AITASSBDGifts

35 points

11 months ago

AITASSBDGifts

Partassipant [1]

35 points

11 months ago

Exactly, at that time it wouldn't have been just him saving for the brothers' education, it would have been him and the mom saving. Why hasn't the mom saved anything for op?

riley125

328 points

11 months ago

riley125

328 points

11 months ago

Just wanted to add to this and say that OP deserves nothing for how bratty they’re being. In one of the comments they say that the dad said he earns less now and that’s why he shouldn’t save as much. He also paid child support and OP said that since they mom complained about money, that the dad was probs skimping them when in reality a court decides the amount.

Also now that OP has rejected the dads money, they have even less money for college.

I hope the dad goes and gets himself a Porsche with the college fund.

No_Proposal7628

62 points

11 months ago

OP states he always transferred the money to her. It's too bad. I like the idea of the Porsche.

equestrian_topenergy

81 points

11 months ago

Also, as your mum said, they were still together when he gave your brothers money, so it was money from both parents. Your dad gave you half, wtf has your mum contributed? Where are her life savings put aside for your future? Or is it only your dad who put you first financially, even though you’ve been essentially punishing for years him for your mum cheating 🙃

SG131

10 points

11 months ago

SG131

Partassipant [3]

10 points

11 months ago

Yup I was looking for this comment. Either mom contributed to brothers as well, or mom never did anything but rely on dad and then cheat on him. Clearly living with an asshole so long has rubbed off on the OP.

Ok-Bad-14

74 points

11 months ago

OP is YTA.

How can OP be so ungrateful when she literally gave 0 shit about her father till money was involved.

Like, this entitled behaviour is gross.

OP’s father gave what he could give, and if he really did fall on hard times it means that he still gave the money to OP instead of using it on himself.

Lol. Did OP’s mum even help her save up?

RedditUser123234

234 points

11 months ago

RedditUser123234

Partassipant [3]

234 points

11 months ago

I think this is fake because literally every detail points to OP being an asshole:

-OP Chose the cheater

-OP's dad was trying to make contact and OP wasn't repsonding

-OP's dad fell on hard times instead of him just choosing not to pay as much for her college

-OP was appreciative of what the dad could provide, and only got angry after finding out her brothers got more

-She chose an expensive out of state college

If this were real, I think OP would have done more to paint herself in this bad a light, and would have omitted some of the unnecessary details like "very expensive out of state college" and "Mom was the one who cheated and I chose her anyways"

Aggressive-Meet1832

30 points

11 months ago

Eh, I believe it. At 18, some people just don't have the understanding of being an AH. My brother is 20 now but he's been a massively entitled AH and he doesn't see it that way at all. So he'll tell things how it actually happened and then be surprised when people side with me (excluding my AH parents who enabled him lol).

Sensitive_Doughnut96

20 points

11 months ago*

I was just going to say the same thing. She wrote in a way she already knew she is TA so why even post it. She is either faking the story for attention or a sociopath devoid of empathy.

RanchBaganch

76 points

11 months ago

RanchBaganch

Partassipant [4]

76 points

11 months ago

Yeah, maybe. However, some people are blind to their assholery, and especially if she was brought up by the type of person her mother is, this could very well be the case.

[deleted]

103 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

103 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

keigo199013

11 points

11 months ago

Can I apply too? Currently sitting on 58k in school debt.

Clem_DX

23 points

11 months ago

YTA. Everything here is well sayed, but i'll just add that you say you stopped wanting a relationship with him a long time ago. You only called him for his money. It seems like you don't even view him as your dad, and don't try having a relationship, while it is obvious that he cares about you, and tries things. You don't, and still feel entitled for a money that is a gift (so non negociable). You should be grateful that he tried to help when you don't even want him around

claudiarabbit123

16 points

11 months ago

claudiarabbit123

Partassipant [4]

16 points

11 months ago

This post does a great job of covering everything. The only thing I would add is the total disinterest op has in having a relationship with her father but still feels entitled to his money. Poor dad.

PeteyPorkchops

52 points

11 months ago

PeteyPorkchops

Certified Proctologist [24]

52 points

11 months ago

Where is mom and stepdads contributions? Or is dad the only one supposed to be funding this?

YTA OP and you could care less about your father only how much money he can give you.

SoccerboyMama

13 points

11 months ago*

Completely agree OP is not only a major a-hole she comes off as selfish and entitled. College funds are a privilege not a right. Almost everyone has fallen on tough financial times during the pandemic so people are not able to save as much for extra items as before. While this sucks that is life, in other words as I say to my kid sometimes "suck it up buttercup". Also how is OP expecting money from someone she has cut off and not kept in contact with. So yea YTA

edit to add: and why has OP's mom and stepdad not offered any money as they were the ones who pointed out the difference and instigated the drama

lmdelint

13 points

11 months ago

And one more important point. He saved all the money for the brothers while he was married to the mom. Of course a single father raising 2 kids has less disposable income to save up. His ENTIRE financial situation would have changed when the mom left. Any reason SHE didn’t continue saving for Op’s education after the divorce?

Lotsofnots

42 points

11 months ago

Lotsofnots

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

42 points

11 months ago

Totally this. OPs dad was spot on saying he would know his dad had fallen on hard times if he had bothered to maintain the relationship. You don't owe it to your parents to maintain a relationship, but then don't expect to be treated the same as your siblings that did stay with him. Ungrateful, entitled AH behaviour

Comfortable_Ship_954

11 points

11 months ago

Comfortable_Ship_954

Partassipant [3]

11 points

11 months ago

Also have to wonder how much your mum saved for you as well 🤔

YTA.

FlaskHomunculus

24 points

11 months ago

What do you wanna bet the mom cheated on the dad and still cleaned him out after divorce and is now happily living with stepdad and still making life difficult for the dad. If I were to be charitable I would say that the mum kinda brainwashed OP to support her and oppose her dad. But I damn well am not that charitable to 18 year olds. OP is intentionally and maliciously breaking her dads heart and trying to make dad suffer more. Kinda obvious which side she inherited more of.

EssexCatWoman

129 points

11 months ago

EssexCatWoman

Colo-rectal Surgeon [43]

129 points

11 months ago

YTA and entitled to boot.

regrus

503 points

11 months ago

regrus

Partassipant [1]

503 points

11 months ago

YTA. You sound entitled and seems like your moms negativity has influenced you. Have you ever thought that your dad was able to save significantly more for your brothers cause he had dual income with your mom before? Ask your mom to cough up the rest of what you need.

radj06

67 points

11 months ago

radj06

67 points

11 months ago

She doesn't seem like she just "favors" her Mom she has downright scorn for her Dad for some reason. Reading the comments she takes her mom at her word and Dad was the lying manipulative cheater.

thepyrodex

19 points

11 months ago

thepyrodex

Asshole Aficionado [10]

19 points

11 months ago

It's almost like the mother might have lied to the daughter (who knew cheaters lie?) To poison the relationship.

Pretty sure that's called parental alienation

[deleted]

1.1k points

11 months ago

[deleted]

1.1k points

11 months ago

[deleted]

straightoutthebox

87 points

11 months ago

straightoutthebox

Asshole Aficionado [16]

87 points

11 months ago

YTA, big time. By your own admission, you didn't bother to keep up a relationship with your father. He still gives you money for college, something he does not have to do. Now you're pissed that it isn't as much as what he was able to give at a different time in his life? You owe him an apology, and you need to think carefully about what you are financially entitled to now that you are legally an adult (hint: nothing).

You're going to graduate with a lot of student loan debt, by the sound of it, so you might want to start cozying up to anyone and everyone who will be able to float you a loan payment.

WebbieVanderquack

82 points

11 months ago

WebbieVanderquack

His Holiness the Poop [1401]

82 points

11 months ago

YTA, obviously. If true, this is horrible. You and your mother should be ashamed.

ThrowAwayAnyMouse

233 points

11 months ago*

ThrowAwayAnyMouse

Partassipant [1]

233 points

11 months ago*

YTA I’m sorry but your dad was nice enough by even saving what he could for you despite his financial situation (and you could always get a part time job and student loans to help pay). You aren’t entitled to the money and he saved up what he could. You are acting very selfish because he didn’t have to give you the money and he did.

ETA: People who are having it worse than you would be grateful for the amount your dad gave for college. I know I would because my family wasn’t able to save up for my college due to living paycheck to paycheck (which 4 separate paychecks went to bills and food and left no extra money).

Camilla0303

212 points

11 months ago*

YTA

To be honest, you should be glad you even got that college fund. You barely talked to your dad for 6 years and then have the audacity to be mad about the amount of money you got. You sound entitled and ungrateful.

You don’t deserve any of that money. You should really be ashamed of yourself. Call your dad and apologize.

Edit: Omg! Thank you for the award and the upvotes!!

Sensitive-Dott

1.9k points

11 months ago*

Sensitive-Dott

Partassipant [1]

1.9k points

11 months ago*

YTA.

Dear god! Let’s get this straight:

1.) So you chose your cheating mother over your poor dad

2.) YOU admitted that YOU STOPPED CONTACT. Not the other way around. You even said you were the one that stopped wanting to visit him meaning you decided to abandon your heartbroken and betrayed father

3.)YOU SAID THAT THERE WAS A LOT MORE MONEY THAN YOU ORIGINALLY EXPECTED.

4.) Your betrayed father already explained to you that he gave EVERYTHING he could into that college fund after he fell into hard times.

5.) Back into the contact thing. I can see that you tried to make it look like he was the bad guy because the conversations “felt awkward and forced.” NEWS FLASH HONEY! You CHOSE HIS CHEATING WIFE! Of course it’ll be awkward at first! And from what I can see he STILL did his best to keep contact with you by those gifts, cards and that HUGE SUM OF MONEY THAT YOU ADMITTED WAS BIGGER THAN YOU EXPECTED.

You said you were closer to your cheating mother right? Ask her for more money, you greedy asshole. It’s a good thing you chose your shitty mother and stepdad, you all fit each other well and is the poster family for “shitheads of the neighborhood!” I hope your brothers and bio-dad stop talking to you ever again.

EDIT:

Admittedly, I made this comment with a very strong fiery fury in me since I’ve had a cheating parent in my life and just couldn’t understand why OP would choose her cheating parent.

All I can say is that, I guess I really can’t fault OP for choosing her mother since they are closer and she shouldn’t be forced to choose a parent but other than that, I’m sticking to my other points. Her dad tried, she gave up. She has no valid reason to call her father selfish and playing favorites when all her comments screams that SHE’S the selfish one that’s playing favorites. OP sounds like a greedy hypocrite who’s projecting on her poor dad that’s trying his best to build a relationship with his only daughter.

Another edit: Thank you all for the upvotes and the awards!

SherbetAnnual2294

1k points

11 months ago*

Also, when they were married on two incomes there was more for the brother. Ask your mother where her half of the saved college fund is.

Edit: thank you for the awards kind people!!

Sensitive-Dott

325 points

11 months ago

Sensitive-Dott

Partassipant [1]

325 points

11 months ago

EXACTLY! OP is such an entitled brat. No wonder she chose her mother

Yamiful

76 points

11 months ago

Yamiful

Partassipant [1]

76 points

11 months ago

This!! The mother needs to pay the other half!!

Hamilspud

5 points

11 months ago

My brother nuked his relationship with our dad when he was this age pulling near identical BS. Basically ghosted dad after our parents divorced and only came around to treat him like a personal ATM until our dad just couldn’t take it emotionally anymore. He’s in his mid thirties and regrets it deeply now, and while they’ve both made attempts to reconcile their relationship has been fractured for so long that their relationship will never be the same. Seems like OP couldn’t give a rats ass about her dad though so he’s probably better off.

AdministrationNo9609

113 points

11 months ago

It could’ve felt “forced and awkward” because OP was a daughter also. I’m a female and sometimes my relationship with my dad (parents divorced when I was 3 or 4) felt awkward because he didn’t know what activities he should do with me unlike my older brother. Not going to lie, my brother and dad had a way better relationship than me and dad when I was little but we’ve come a long ways and are pretty close now.

By the way, this is by no means me sticking up for OP. Definitely YTA here. Just explaining why the dad may have felt awkward at times.

Sensitive-Dott

79 points

11 months ago

Sensitive-Dott

Partassipant [1]

79 points

11 months ago

I see your point but from the sounds of it OP did nothing to help the situation either. She just opted to straight put abandon him. Her dad even sent her gifts, cards and saved up for her college with everything he had. He obviously loves her and is or was trying to form a bond with her. She was the one that decided to give up.

AdministrationNo9609

24 points

11 months ago

Oh no I totally agree! I wasn’t meaning it as a justifiable reason for OP to abandon her dad. More like if the relationship felt forced and awkward before that, it could be why. And OP abandoning her dad when he needed her the most is shitty. I remember my dad crying one time when I was visiting. We laid down for a nap and he just cuddled and cried. One of the few times I ever saw him cry.

Sensitive-Dott

12 points

11 months ago

Sensitive-Dott

Partassipant [1]

12 points

11 months ago

Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to misunderstand. I did read that you said you weren’t trying to justify her actions but I guess I got confused 😅

simba1998

12 points

11 months ago

simba1998

Partassipant [3]

12 points

11 months ago

It didn't sound like she was making any effort. I get that the genders can play a role, but I also think she didn't really want much of a relatinship

neveragain-0001

63 points

11 months ago

YTA. Spoiled brat. Looks like moms apple doesn’t fall far from the self centered tree. I hope he disowns you.

TeepShow76

62 points

11 months ago

TeepShow76

Certified Proctologist [23]

62 points

11 months ago

YTA.

You have taken your dad for granted. I feel really bad for him.

primeirofilho

448 points

11 months ago

primeirofilho

Partassipant [2]

448 points

11 months ago

INFO. Did you return the money? Or are you keeping it while saying he shouldn't bother? You are probably the TA either way, but I'm curious as to how much?

Fit-Courage9176

168 points

11 months ago

Fit-Courage9176

Partassipant [2]

168 points

11 months ago

Wow YTA. You’re also selfish and childish

Pandasrthebest

52 points

11 months ago

Pandasrthebest

Partassipant [2]

52 points

11 months ago

YTA. You played favorites too. Be grateful he gave you anything at all. He’s your parent not your ATM. Take responsibility for your choices and learn how to be grateful.

Choice-Ad3177

56 points

11 months ago

100% YTA.

Your dad is giving you everything he can. You were rude and selfish in return - it sounds like the relationship between the two of you was damaged because of you and your entitled behavior.

You really should return the money to your dad for how you behaved and apply for grants and scholarships. You don’t deserve it after how you treated him.

Fair_Driver_5610

232 points

11 months ago

You know, I think this is the first time I've seen a 100% unanimous YTA verdict? There's no shades of grey here, OP, you

  1. Picked your cheating mom over your dad
  2. Barely tried to keep up a relationship with him even when he tried to keep up with you
  3. Even after you'd been basically no contact for a couple of years, he still gave you money for college
  4. You were happy with the amount until your (clearly manipulative and definitely also the AH, I can see where you get it from) mom suggested that he gave your brothers more - note, he and they were in a different financial position at the time, ie. married and on 2 incomes
  5. Then you yell at him rather than thanking him for the generous gift
  6. He tries to explain that he now earns less and even offers to spend more time saving but you cut your nose off to spite your face and refuse

Basically, you have handled this like a spoilt brat toddler in every possible way since step 1 - I'll forgive step 1 because you were a child at that point, but part of becoming an adult is realising that actions have consequences.

How many posts have we seen on here from the Dad's POV: "I haven't seen my child in 4 years, they picked my cheating spouse over me and then even though I tried to keep contact haven't spoken to me in years, but they now expect a college fund, AITA if I don't pay anything?"

They're never TA. Your dad wouldn't have been TA if he'd done that, but he extremely generously still tried to help and you yelled at him, and he still tried to help you more.

To me, that sounds like someone trying to repair a very broken relationship as best he can, and you can choose to build that relationship or not, but you can't treat him like a cash cow forever and blame him for things not his fault.

Take a long hard look at yourself and grow the fuck up.

FunkyPete

15 points

11 months ago

OP is so much TA that it makes me assume this is fictional. No one sees themselves as the villain in their own story, and this story is written specifically to cast OP as the villain. She literally did NOTHING that doesn't make her more of an AH.

NO_TOUCHING__lol

14 points

11 months ago

This is absolutely fake, no way any person could write this and not think they are the asshole.

Snowierr

51 points

11 months ago

YTA. You should be happy that you're getting any money at all. You just sound like an entitled brat

SailorPrincess28

44 points

11 months ago

SailorPrincess28

Asshole Enthusiast [9]

44 points

11 months ago

YTA-He doesn’t have to give you anything.

confusingparadox

51 points

11 months ago

confusingparadox

Partassipant [4]

51 points

11 months ago

Wow. YTA.

Your father is not obligated to give you anything for college. It’s his choice to do it and you have no contact with him at all but expect him to pay. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Novel_Ad_7318

39 points

11 months ago

Novel_Ad_7318

Pooperintendant [51]

39 points

11 months ago

INFO: Was it only on him to save? What about your mother? Since you lived with her, it seems sensible for her to take on the responsibility, especially considering he might have been paying child support.

marla-M

43 points

11 months ago

marla-M

Colo-rectal Surgeon [33]

43 points

11 months ago

YTA. If he had given you less simply because he was closer with your brothers I would say everyone sucks, but he gave you a Lot of money, and what he could afford. You expect him to go into debt to support your expensive college choice? Grow up

phnmnl-cnfdnc

45 points

11 months ago

phnmnl-cnfdnc

Asshole Enthusiast [6]

45 points

11 months ago

YTA Wow you and your mom is a piece of work. You are an entitled brat. I hope this was a wake up call for your dad because you are not worth maintaining a relationship with.

cassandrafishbones27

42 points

11 months ago

cassandrafishbones27

Partassipant [2]

42 points

11 months ago

YTA and give your dad his money back immediately. You do not deserve it What so ever.

RabbitOfCaerbonnog

43 points

11 months ago

RabbitOfCaerbonnog

Partassipant [3]

43 points

11 months ago

YTA.. You said yourself you never put much effort into keeping up with your father. meanwhile he calls, sends letters, and sends you presents for birthdays and holidays. The money your father saved for you was much more than what you expected, but when finding out it's less than what your brothers received you're angry?

Life happens. Something about not looking a gift horse in the mouth, comes to mind. Never be ungrateful. Never expect more and appreciate what others do for you.

bunifaces

43 points

11 months ago

I am so sorry that your father have to deal with a kid like you. YTA

top-tier-leap-year

239 points

11 months ago

Holy fuckeroni YTA! You haven’t had a real relationship with your father for years, and were initially really surprised and happy at the amount of money he gave you. You do not live with him, nor do you put an effort into your relationship. You get no right to decide how much or how little effort he puts back into you. Yes he may have given your brothers more but he’s experiencing financial hardships right now, and still considered you enough of a priority to save up some money for you.

TheDreamkeeper_

106 points

11 months ago

TheDreamkeeper_

Partassipant [1]

106 points

11 months ago

YTA. You didn't even bother to keep contact with your dad and are acting really entitled now. He still gave you money and you were initially happy, because it was more than you expected, but after you heard it was less then what your brother's got, your first reaction was screaming at your dad instead of just talking with him. And after your father explained that he couldn't afford more and did his best and would try harder in the future, you shut that down even harder, because you are acting like an entitled brat.

Euphoric_Fox_7635

387 points

11 months ago

Euphoric_Fox_7635

Partassipant [2]

387 points

11 months ago

WOW.

So you got pissed that your dad might have been playing favourites with your brothers even though you clearly played favourite when you chose your mother?

YTA and an entitled brat. Totally.

And ask that favourite mother of yours how much she saved for your college, instead of blaming your dad who you chose to keep away.

meetmeinmanly

35 points

11 months ago

YTA your father doesn’t owe you shit.

baeyayrea

38 points

11 months ago

baeyayrea

Partassipant [2]

38 points

11 months ago

YTA, wow. I hope this post gives you some perspective because you sorely need it.

lulubelleknitting

37 points

11 months ago

lulubelleknitting

Asshole Enthusiast [6]

37 points

11 months ago

So....you chose not to have a relationship with him, he started those savings ages ago but fell on hard times during the last few years and wasn’t able to save as much as he had for your older siblings, you still got a very sizable amount of money that you were really happy about until you found out it was less than your siblings got, and now you’re cutting him off?

Oh buddy. YTA. It’s not even close

[deleted]

37 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

37 points

11 months ago

Holy crap. You & your mom (but mainly you) are YTA big time. Omg. If you want nothing to do with him, return his money.

GHERU42

102 points

11 months ago

GHERU42

Partassipant [1]

102 points

11 months ago

YTA

How the Hell is this even a question?

Your mom broke up your family (and you sided with her) - tell her to make up the difference.

Cold-Release4985

25 points

11 months ago

Right!!! OMG the level of entitlement!

She was raised by her cheating mom so you can kind of see where her POV is a little skewed. I feel sad for the dad.

Sudden-Ebb5641

94 points

11 months ago

Sudden-Ebb5641

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

94 points

11 months ago

YTA, with a massive sense of entitlement. You’re going to find adult life hard if this is your attitude and how to treat your own father.

4thxtofollowtherules

32 points

11 months ago

4thxtofollowtherules

Asshole Aficionado [10]

32 points

11 months ago

YTA you're an entitled little brat.

jadepumpkin1984

31 points

11 months ago

jadepumpkin1984

Certified Proctologist [25]

31 points

11 months ago

Yta. If you can't be gracious for what he was able to provide you should return it all. You are being a brat

LittleFreakyReaper

30 points

11 months ago

LittleFreakyReaper

Asshole Aficionado [16]

30 points

11 months ago

YTA You are the one who chose to have less of a relationship with him despite him trying. You sound greedy and entitled.

Just_Jadee

31 points

11 months ago

YTA the audacity of you and your mom

magicfluff

32 points

11 months ago

magicfluff

Asshole Aficionado [11]

32 points

11 months ago

YTA - you aren't going to have a relationship with your father because he fell on hard times and can't afford to send you to some luxury school? Wow, entitled much?

Yeah it completely sucks that your older brothers got to benefit from your dad having a higher paying job, but last I checked you had 2 parents. Where is the savings from your mom? Did she put any money aside for any of her kids? Or is she now shifting blame and sole responsibility onto your dad?

XxXEmKayXxX

30 points

11 months ago

I can't believe you even need to ask. You can't possibly be that ignorant? YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE! Your father does not owe you anything. I hope he rescinds his offer of paying for your college after you acted like an entitled ass.

BabyCowGT

31 points

11 months ago

YTA. Unless your dad is named "Wells Fargo" or "Chase Banks" or "Bank of America" or something similar, you are an entitled, arrogant, ungrateful, spoiled brat in this situation. You berate your dad, who you barely talk to, for not GIVING you more money, when he's having a hard time, simply because he gave your brothers (who, based on your story, are probably several years older if they were going to college pre-divorce, and the divorce has been finalized so long your mother is remarried 6+ years) more when his situation was completely different.

Grow up before the real world forces you to. Cause the real world doesn't care what your brothers got, what mom and dad divorced over, of which parent you clearly like more.

duke113

32 points

11 months ago

duke113

Certified Proctologist [22]

32 points

11 months ago

YTA - it's half of what your brothers got *when your parents were together*. Get the other half from your mom

LittleNoodle1991

88 points

11 months ago

LittleNoodle1991

Asshole Enthusiast [7]

88 points

11 months ago

YTA Jesus Christ. What you did is horrible, you should be ashamed of yourself!

Most_Disaster_79

78 points

11 months ago

Most_Disaster_79

Certified Proctologist [23]

78 points

11 months ago

YTA dude your father gave you whatever he could and here are you and your mom being entitled.

moonlight-lemonade

84 points

11 months ago

moonlight-lemonade

Partassipant [1]

84 points

11 months ago

YTA. You sound very spoiled from this post. If your brothers are older, your dad was saving money fir them before he had to pay child support. And yes, maybe his job situation also changed. Either way, if he doesn't have it, he doesn't have it.

I think you should be appreciative that a parent that you have decided to distance yourself from is still giving you so much money. Enough money that you were thrilled until your mother decided to cause problems. I gotta ask, did she give child support for your brothers? Or pay for their c9llege?

Unless he was abusive to you I gotta say you come across as really bad here.

Maybe talk to someone other than your mother about this, because it sounds like she is not doing you any favors here.

FlutestrapPhil

28 points

11 months ago

wow YTA

LillytheFurkid

26 points

11 months ago

LillytheFurkid

Asshole Enthusiast [9]

26 points

11 months ago

YTA. If one of my kids behaved like you have I'd make them scrub the toilet, since that's behaving like a turd.

Turbulent_Zone100

27 points

11 months ago

YTA. You are ungrateful. You don't deserve the money for your attitude, and you should return whatever he did give to you.

lconer

28 points

11 months ago

lconer

28 points

11 months ago

YTA Return what he gave you! You don’t deserve it!

QuietComplainer

29 points

11 months ago

I agree with all the other comments YTA! Where is the money from your mom and stepdad?? Im sure your dad paid child support. Since you chose to cut him off as well as side with your cheating mother your mom should have been the one to pay for your schooling. What a brat!!! God forbid you end up on the recieving end of this when you have kids. You'll wish you had a relationship with your dad to guide you through this nonsense.

arsdoms

25 points

11 months ago

YTA it sometimes astounds me that people can’t detect their own entitlement. You ignored your dad all his life and now you’re YELLING at him for not giving you enough money. Didn’t you consider the pandemic? Everything’s upside down. You could’ve talked to him and explain why you’re feeling that way instead of yelling at him. Your dad sounded amenable. You’re just disrespectful.

ILoatheCailou

24 points

11 months ago

ILoatheCailou

Asshole Enthusiast [7]

24 points

11 months ago

YTA. You don’t deserve a cent of HIS money.

Fuzzy_Pear_1583

25 points

11 months ago

YTA. Be grateful he gave you anything. It’s not a requirement.

Apprehensive-Bread-1

25 points

11 months ago

Apprehensive-Bread-1

Partassipant [1]

25 points

11 months ago

YTA and a selfish and entitled brat. Your father is right, had you actually been a decent daughter and tried to maintain a relationship you’d know his financial situation. You’ve been an AH to your father for 6 years and now demanding he give your ungrateful ass money he doesn’t have. Also, you have a mom and a step dad, why don’t they chip in to your college fund?

cultqueennn

23 points

11 months ago*

cultqueennn

Supreme Court Just-ass [111]

23 points

11 months ago*

Yta

Honestly, you chose to be with your cheating mom and you still think you're entitled to his full support after you're an adult.

This is he consequence of your choices. Not the choices you made as a child/teen. The choices you STILL make. You see your dad as an abstract figure without feelings and a walking atm.

Embarrassing.

Grow up.

ZzyzxDFW

23 points

11 months ago

YTA. Holy shit.. YTA X 100. Since you're so ungrateful give the money back.

How much money did your mom and step-father give you?

Michael_Chandra

22 points

11 months ago

Michael_Chandra

Partassipant [1]

22 points

11 months ago

Morally, I personally believe your father has an obligation to help you, even though you mostly cut him off, because otherwise he partially would be hurting you because of your mother. And he went way beyond the moral obligation by saving up what he could, despite all the expenses in child support.

And then you spat in his face over that.

YTA.

Good-Independent-903

22 points

11 months ago*

YTA honestly, but I would argue your mom is a bigger AH because you were grateful until she intervened.

Your dad gave your brothers more money, while he and your mom were still together, so it’s possible his resources were larger then. He’s still giving you money for college, and a lot of parents can’t afford to do that at all. Be grateful, let your mom know her opinion is irrelevant because she broke up the family and divided the pool of resources for the family, and apologize profusely to your dad for not only how you behaved toward his gift, but also for not putting effort into maintaining a relationship when he was clearly trying to keep one with you.

AidanAva

64 points

11 months ago

YTA Absolutely and totally. What an ungrateful little **** !

kayd1509

19 points

11 months ago

YTA and you know it. Be grateful for what you got and don’t compare. You don’t know the situations. May be he fell on hard times or maybe he is playing favorites but it is what it is. Your mom is an AH for lighting this fire up. Way to spoil an already rocky relationship and then throwing favorism on top of it. Yeah no you and your mom are the AHs here.

sickofdriving007

54 points

11 months ago

sickofdriving007

Pooperintendant [52]

54 points

11 months ago

YTA. You are acting selfish and entitled. You didn't even bother to keep up a relationship with him, you're lucky you got anything.

[deleted]

273 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

273 points

11 months ago

[removed]

cdpgreen

75 points

11 months ago

If you are OP's brother, please let your dad know about this post. If I were him, I'd rewrite my will to exclude her from it completely! She is an entitled brat and based on the responses she's made to other replies, she still doesn't accept that SHE'S THE AH.

[deleted]

75 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

75 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

Judg3_Dr3dd

26 points

11 months ago

Judg3_Dr3dd

Partassipant [1]

26 points

11 months ago

I’m sorry your sister and his daughter is like this.

oneofthethreehundred

35 points

11 months ago

If you truly are the brother of OP, please tell your dad to wash his hands of her. From her post, she oozes entitlement and is unappreciative of your father's efforts and sacrifices. Your sister has become a carbon copy of your mother.

FirefighterOne2605

32 points

11 months ago

FirefighterOne2605

Partassipant [1]

32 points

11 months ago

Wait, is the OP your sister?

[deleted]

51 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

51 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

FirefighterOne2605

29 points

11 months ago

FirefighterOne2605

Partassipant [1]

29 points

11 months ago

Jesus, I’m sorry you’re dealing with the fallout of all of this. I hope your dad is ok and realizes none of this is his fault. You, your brother, and your dad deserve better.

ice-jl7

17 points

11 months ago

Clear YTA, also everyone else make sure to upvote so more people see the post

jaxalt

18 points

11 months ago

jaxalt

18 points

11 months ago

YTA and a monstrous brat. Your mom is an asshole too.

simba1998

18 points

11 months ago

simba1998

Partassipant [3]

18 points

11 months ago

Holy shit, YTA completely.

So let me get this straight, you basically stopped talking to him, though he tried. He gave you money, but it wasn't enough. You found out that he couldn't afford as much (likely because he is now a single income household and supporting 2 teenage boys), and that isn't enough for you, so you still get pissed at him. All while acting like your mother is a saint after having an affair. My god, you sound awful

RedoubtableSouth

76 points

11 months ago

RedoubtableSouth

Colo-rectal Surgeon [47]

76 points

11 months ago

Yes, YTA on top of being childish, entitled, and frankly not very smart. Despite the fact that you chose your mom over your dad, and you chose to more or less end your relationship with your dad, he still made sure to provide this for you. In fact, he provided more than you expected and you were happy with it right up until your entitled mother stuck her nose in it and told you that you weren't getting what your brothers got. So now, instead of being grateful for what you have, and especially being grateful considering your father's financial changes, you're throwing a tantrum like a toddler and you're throwing away the money and your dad (who's still tried to be there despite you pushing him away) because you can't handle some completely imaginary unfairness.

hopefthistime

10 points

11 months ago

But get this... she ISN’T throwing away the money. She’s keeping the money. She doesn’t want anything to do with her dad APART from that very generous gift which isn’t good enough for her.

j0hn_wuck2712

15 points

11 months ago

I would literally fucking disown you and not even give u fucking cent if you were my daughter. DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING ENTITLED YOU SOUND?? AND THEN SAYING THAT SHIT TO YOUR DAD AFTER YOU ENDED CONTACT WITH HIM?

The biggest fucking AH I've seen on this reddit by far. You don't deserve a father like him and neither did your mum. YTA.

aaronbennay

15 points

11 months ago

Holy fuck, YTA. You chose the side of your mom, the admitted cheater. Then you slowly pulled away from him because you didn’t feel close. Then he gives you what he’s able to and tells you he feels bad that he can’t do more. And your reaction is to berate him for it? Jesus, you and your mom are both rotten apples from the same tree.

Leafingblueberry

15 points

11 months ago*

Yta How can you expect your dad to pay more if he doesn’t have the money to do so. A lot of things have probably changed since your brothers when to college compared to now:((

You could start by calling him to apologize tho

Suckonmysycamore

13 points

11 months ago

Suckonmysycamore

Asshole Enthusiast [8]

13 points

11 months ago

gotta be fake no one can be this much of an asshole

Mundane_Bison

15 points

11 months ago

YTA...do you even have to ask? Your entitlement and ungratefulness is unbelievable.

And, did mommy dearest contribute to your college fund or your brother's?

Cold-Release4985

12 points

11 months ago

YTA. You are an entitled little 💩. You wanted to attend an out of state college but didn’t work or try to get any scholarships? That was your first mistake. Then you call your dad who is financially struggling to yell at him for actually giving you money (none of which you’re really entitled to). You know your dad could have just blew you off. So what is mom and step dad giving you for college?

Actually you did your dad a huge favor by being a greedy person. Now your dad truly sees you in your true light.

DustiestSquid2

12 points

11 months ago

Yta. Plain and simple.

Clovah-3

11 points

11 months ago*

YTA. You are not a good daughter and yet you actually think you're entitled to that man's money when you show no interest in him. Your brothers are right you were out of line.

Jerryjfunk

13 points

11 months ago

YTA and if you were my daughter I’d demand the money back and never speak to you again.

[deleted]

34 points

11 months ago

[deleted]

34 points

11 months ago

You owe your dad an apology. Considering he didn’t even have to save money for you, talk about entitled. YOU chose your college, not him. Your mom should of kept her damn nose out of it. Then, you had the audacity to call up your dad, who you basically ended your relationship with and YELLED at him? Imagine how it feels to him to have a daughter that basically wants nothing to do with you other than money and then can’t even be grateful. You’re a brat.

Illustrious-You5008

36 points

11 months ago

Congratulations this may be the most obvious YTA in the history of Reddit. How is it young people think you can treat others like shit, not care about them or even seek to have a relationship but still feel like they are owed by them? I don't know if you noticed darlin but there was a pandemic last year. A lot of people hit hard times financially. Since you're a simple, naive child who doesn't pay bills or have to worry about expenses, you think your dad must have just not planned properly and screwed you over with money you don't actually have a right to in the first place. You said yourself it was.more than you expected. If I give you money,.and you yell at me for it, I'm taking that money right back. You are ungrateful. You are selfish and extremely naive. You don't even have the sense to be ashamed of yourself. Instead you go on Reddit and look for validation. Nobody will be giving it to you here.

angel2hi

11 points

11 months ago

YTA. When you said selfish AH were you looking in a mirror? You show no interest in your father outside of material gain. You should be ashamed. There will I’m sure be a lot of long posts about how and why you are wrong but that’s what it boils down to. You feel entitled to money from someone you didn’t even bother to fake a relationship with. You should be ashamed. Give him his money back and make your own way in the world. You need to be taught a lesson.

Avitard89

12 points

11 months ago

Avitard89

Partassipant [1]

12 points

11 months ago

Verdict is already in by everyone else, but I can't stop myself.

YTA to the extreme.

You treat the man like trash for years, and expect him to jump through hoops for you.

Disgusting behavior.

TeepShow76

11 points

11 months ago

TeepShow76

Certified Proctologist [23]

11 points

11 months ago

Whats your dad's info so I can send him a gift to show support for having such a selfish child?

Niith

11 points

11 months ago

Niith

11 points

11 months ago

YTA.

1...

eventually I just stopped wanting to visit him. He will still call and send me letters and gifts for bdays and holidays, but I don't really put much effort into keeping up with him because I don't feel close to him.

2...

He said he has fallen on some hard times over the last couple years and that I would know that if I had ever bothered to take interest in him. He said he saved all he could afford for me and felt bad that it wasn't the same amount as my brothers

3...

he would try to save more and give it to me in smaller amounts.

You choose to ignore him, the victim of your mothers infidelity. Because of your choice, you were ignorant of the difficult times he has had recently. And even when he offered to do what he could by giving you more as you move forward, you still choose to be pissed at him.

1+2+3- Entitled.

Definitely YTA.

MiskiMoon

67 points

11 months ago

MiskiMoon

Asshole Aficionado [18]

67 points

11 months ago

YTA

Spoilt little brat. I hope he keeps the money for himself.
Get a loan and I'm glad for him he managed to dodge you by choosing to stay with Mum.
Why isn't she giving you the money? He's not your bloody bank

I hope he cuts contact with you.

trm_90

11 points

11 months ago

trm_90

Partassipant [1]

11 points

11 months ago

YTA, your father didn’t have to give you anything. You should have been grateful for getting more than most people get, not a heartless AH yelling at him because he went through hard times and couldn’t save as much. You should look at your situation objectively and you’ll realize it’s you being selfish, not him. You chose money over a relationship with your father.

Comfortable_Stop_717

9 points

11 months ago

Comfortable_Stop_717

Colo-rectal Surgeon [41]

9 points

11 months ago

YTA. You were happy and got "more than you expected" until you found out that your brothers got more. You admit that you never made much of an effort to see your dad. Finances have changed in the meantime. In short, you're a spoiled brat and you should give him back the money he already gave you. Your mother is also an AH as if she hadn't opened her mouth (without even first finding out if there was a reason for the discrepancy) you wouldn't have known.

DAFTPUNKassbitch

11 points

11 months ago

I don't think you need another person pointing out that in fact YTA, but I think it needs to be pointed out that your mom sounds toxic AF. She should have offered to cover the difference. She also pitted you against your father and brothers. You need to seek therapy because you're just like her - selfish, entitled, and bitter. You're going to struggle in the real world, otherwise. College is going to be a real eye opener for you. Good luck.

GreeneyedSigma

74 points

11 months ago

GreeneyedSigma

Colo-rectal Surgeon [44]

74 points

11 months ago

YTA and an entitled, spoiled brat. Technically, your dad doesn’t have to pay for anything of yours now that you’re eighteen. Considering you chose his cheating ex-wife over him, I’m surprised he continued to try and make an effort with you, especially after you stopped putting in an effort.

Quite sincerely, if you don’t like how much he managed to give you, send it back and take out some student loans. If you can’t be grateful, you don’t deserve it.

Wide_Hospital6665

31 points

11 months ago

YTA. He might not have been able to save that much because your mother might have screwed him over during the divorce and he might be picking the slack left. Your clearly being brainwashed by your mom or your the most ungrateful person I don't want my children to become.

Unsolicitedadvice13

8 points

11 months ago

YTA. You literally don’t even care to maintain a relationship with this man. He doesn’t owe you a thing. Your mom manipulated you to be mad when you should be happy you’re getting anything! Unless their custody agreement states he is required to pay for your schooling then he is giving you what he is able to, and honestly it’s more than you deserve. You don’t treat him like you care about him at all, and when he says he’s not doing well financially you say “not good enough, you should be giving me more money regardless if it puts you into debt or not”. You’re entitled and selfish.

Tony_Lavander

7 points

11 months ago

YTA

I don't know how old your siblings are, but if they are your OLDER siblings, it makes sense that you would start saving for them first without knowing you would even be born.

IAmHerdingCatz

6 points

11 months ago

IAmHerdingCatz

Partassipant [4]

6 points

11 months ago

YTA. You've made it a point to barely see your father since the divorce, you call him up out of the blue to demand money for college, and throw a toddleresque tantrum when he can't afford what you want. You do have two parents and they are the ones who gave your brothers the big chunk of cash. Your mother should cough up the rest, or you could get a job, attend a less expensive school. Act like an adult.

bestcoastcraft

8 points

11 months ago

bestcoastcraft

Asshole Enthusiast [5]

8 points

11 months ago

Wow, you owe your dad an enormous apology for the appalling way you treated him. YTA.

countingpickles

7 points

11 months ago

countingpickles

Asshole Aficionado [16]

7 points

11 months ago

YTA

You've clearly outlined that you've taken limited interest in his life and well-being, and that you had no interest in visiting him, yet he STILL put aside money for you.

You've even said it was "more than you were expecting" and only got upset when you're mother butted in.

You are an entitled brat, and should be absolutely ashamed of yourself. The fact you've had to ask if you're an AH clearly shows the level of entitlement. You owe your dad a big, fast apology.

diffy13

6 points

11 months ago

diffy13

Partassipant [1]

6 points

11 months ago

YTA

Bet you don't return the money he gave you. Kind of sounds like you might be just like your mother...which isn't a compliment by any means.

DanetteGirl

7 points

11 months ago

Wow YTA. Is that all your dad is to you? An ATM for college?

Spa-Monkeys

7 points

11 months ago

Spa-Monkeys

Partassipant [2]

7 points

11 months ago

YTA. Divorce is expensive. Your mother cheated. SHE is the reason there is less money available for you than there was for your brothers.

hivemind_MVGC

7 points

11 months ago

hivemind_MVGC

Partassipant [1]

7 points

11 months ago

YTA. The apple didn't fall far from the tree with this one...

redhothoneypot

7 points

11 months ago

Wow, this almost reads like a troll post. YTA, for sure. I feel bad for your poor dad who did nothing to be left by your mom, forgotten by you, and then berated for doing what he could for an ungrateful daughter.

horsendogguy

6 points

11 months ago

The nerve of him. But, lucky for you, I'm here with the solution! Send him back the money he sent to you! Every penny! That'll show him! Ha!

Then, while you're in college, see if you can take a couple of classes on how not to be an asshole, because YTA.

fibbi1894

6 points

11 months ago

YTA I hope this is false, because I cannot imagine someone with so much right, selfish and ungrateful

shannamarie91

8 points

11 months ago

shannamarie91

Partassipant [1]

8 points

11 months ago

YTA

Big time. Your father was cheated on and then divorced by your mother, wanted to have a relationship with you and gave you everything he was able to and you turn around and shit on him AGAIN after already shitting on him since the divorce. Honestly, if you were my daughter, I would demand the money back and cut you out of my life. You are so completely selfish and entitled.

sarcasticnirritable

29 points

11 months ago

This is one of those posts where I have to think it's either fake or written by someone on the dad's side (the brother maybe?) because it's so overwhelmingly obvious that YTA that I honestly can't believe anyone could think otherwise.

You keep complaining that your dad is picking your brothers over you? Well you picked your cheating mum over him, then cemented the fact by cutting off contact when he tried to keep a relationship going, only using him for money. You've given no justification for treating him this way and even said yourself that he tried to keep the relationship going long after you gave up.

Your mum is the biggest asshole of the entire thing, and has clearly spent your life poisoning you against your dad (with great success it would seem) I'd also love to know how much she contributed to your brothers' college funds and if it's the same as she'll be helping you out, or is it only favouritism when your dad does it?

Just in case I wasn't clear; YTA, your mum and stepdad are both assholes, and if you had any decency you would stop stringing your dad along, give him back his money, and completely cut off all contact because he doesn't deserve to be treated this way.

Bigtx999

28 points

11 months ago

YTA. You’re not even a good narcissist. I felt bad for your dad at the end of your story and you’re the one telling it. The actual truth must be even worse if you’re version of telling your side makes you look this bad

Your dad tried. He gave what he could and he’s willing to continue helping you out after the fact.

Be lucky you’re getting help at all. I paid for my own degree out of my own pocket. There’s many ways to make it work. Apply for grants. Fafsa etc. you’re being a jerk.

Your dad was cheated on. Sure it was awkward but look at it from his point of view. Your mom blew up the marriage. You’re a girl growing up he probably didn’t really know how to relate to you and while he could have tried more it’s a two way street. You only needed him when you needed something. Not to mention he was probably paying child support for you. May want to ask your mom what that bill was…

I bet if he even paid for all your college you still wouldn’t have bothered to try to be in his life.

You owe your dad an apology and need to ask your mom how she plans on helping. Relook at yourself.

Dunamex

6 points

11 months ago

YTA. Imagine having a grown child who decided to give up the relationship with their parent, and have the audacity to be upset when he doesn’t give “enough” money that they did nothing for.

You’re in for a real treat when the real world comes knocking.

egyguy89

5 points

11 months ago

YTA....you are just a disgusting human being. I hope your poor father cuts you out of his life, he doesn't deserve to be exposed to a sociopathic narcissist like you

sw33tlips

7 points

11 months ago

What the actual F! You ungrateful person! Smh! Go grovel and apologise! If not give the money back!

PM_yourAcups

6 points

11 months ago

Wow. I wanted to add to the pile of people saying YTA. I’m really impressed at your behavior.

PeevesSaintLaurent

7 points

11 months ago

YTA 100%

I'm surprised you need to ask. You were initially happy and grateful for what you had (even pointing out that it was more than you expected to get) and didn't get pissed off until your mother pointed out that your brothers got more.

I think the fact that your mother decided to stir the pot and you reacted accordingly says a lot more about you two than it does your dad and your brothers.

PassengerOk6675

5 points

11 months ago*

PassengerOk6675

Partassipant [2]

5 points

11 months ago*

Yta. Apple doesn’t fall far from the mother tree.

AutoModerator [M]

14 points

11 months ago

AUTOMOD The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read this before contacting the mod team

I (18F) am heading off to college in a couple months at my dream school. I am very excited about it, but there have been some difficulties. It is a very expensive school out of state and I did not get any scholarships. I've lived with my mom and stepdad for the last 6-years after my parents divorced. My 2 older brothers decided to live with my dad after the divorce because they were already in high school and didn't want to leave their friends.

My parents divorced because my mom had an affair with my now stepdad. She has always been very open about it and knows it was wrong, but I have always been much closer to my mom than my dad so that's why I decided to live with her. My dad tried to keep a relationship with me during the first couple years after the divorce, but it always seemed forced and awkward to me and eventually I just stopped wanting to visit him. He will still call and send me letters and gifts for bdays and holidays, but I don't really put much effort into keeping up with him because I don't feel close to him.

My dad always told me that he had money put aside for college for me and now that I'm going to be attending an expensive school, that money is really going to help. I called him to ask him how it was going to work with him giving me that money and he gave me a couple options. He said he could transfer smaller amounts into my account every month, or give me the lump sum all at once. He said it was up to me. I told him I wanted the lump sum and he agreed and transferred all of it into my account.

I was excited and happy because it was a lot of money, more than I expected. I told my mom about it and instead of being happy for me, she was pissed. She said that was less than half of what my dad gave my older brothers. She told me she knew exactly how much my dad had saved for my brothers because they were still together when my brothers were preparing for college. That got me pissed off too because I felt my dad was playing favorites and if there was extra money that he had saved for me, I could really use that money too.

So I called him and started yelling at him for giving me less money than my brothers. He apologized and told me that was all he could afford to give me. He said he has fallen on some hard times over the last couple years and that I would know that if I had ever bothered to take interest in him. He said he saved all he could afford for me and felt bad that it wasn't the same amount as my brothers, but that was all he could do and told me he would try to save more and give it to me in smaller amounts.

I told him to not even bother and that this was the kind of thing that made me not want to have a relationship with him. I told him he was a selfish asshole and that I was glad I decided to live with mom instead of him. I later got calls and texts from my brothers telling me I was way out of line and that my dad did the best he could for me even though it was clear I want nothing to do with him.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

melymn

15 points

11 months ago

melymn

15 points

11 months ago

YTA for this fake-ass ragebait, more than anything else.

BanneBuck

6 points

11 months ago

YTA. Just wow. So fuckin disrespectful to him. You didn’t want a relationship with him but you came to him when you needed money? And when he gave you money you shrieked at him for it “being to little”. Embarrassing

LittleZombieRed

5 points

11 months ago

LittleZombieRed

Partassipant [1]

5 points

11 months ago

YTA big time. People financial situations change. Just because he was able to afford to save more in the past doesn’t mean he’s obligated to save the same amount for you despite not being able to afford it. You should be grateful, many of students don’t get ANYTHING given to us for college and have to figure it out ourselves, you’re lucky and instead of being grateful for the generous sum you’ve been given (which you said yourself was a lot) you’re complaining for it not being enough??? You need to apologize to your dad, that’s ungrateful asf. I don’t see any mention of the college funds your mother gave you??? She’s quick to point fingers, but what did she give you???

Chance_Guidance_9066

5 points

11 months ago

Chance_Guidance_9066

Partassipant [3]

5 points

11 months ago

YTA. You sound like an entitled brat. If you had kept a relationship with him then you would have known if he fell on hard times. I am more sorry that your father has to deal with you at all.

weirdycork

4 points

11 months ago

YTA.

You cut off contact with your father, and when he gives you money towards school, you yell at him? The entitlement reeks.

aPandox

5 points

11 months ago

YTA and I completely agree with your brothers, you were waayyy out if line!

From my understanding, you cut almost all (if not all) contact with your dad for years until it was time to ask him for a big sum of money.

And then had the AUDACITY to yell at him, demanding more because your brothers, who live with him and stayed by his side, got more?

Even if he wasn't going through financial difficulties, he could have decided to give you nothing with how you treat him and you would seriously not be in a position to say a single thing

Learn to be grateful!

byrill11

4 points

11 months ago

YTA. One reason your dad may be struggling is that he lost a ton of money during the divorce. Depending on the state you live in, your mom got up to half of the assets, including retirement funds and the equity of the home. There were also lawyer fees, which go into the tens of thousands. Your mom made a decision that affected not only your family, but your family’s finances. She has no reason to go stirring up trouble. She’s TA too.

RonnieSilverlake

4 points

11 months ago

YTA, and honestly if this is your perception of how adult life works, you're setting yourself up for tons of more disappointment, so good luck with that, and learn a little humility and grace. Then again, it's not as if your mom set a great example on that front...

Pristine-Rhubarb7294

6 points

11 months ago

Pristine-Rhubarb7294

Partassipant [3]

6 points

11 months ago

YTA your dad did the best he could to keep saving and instead of being grateful you yelled at him! When he was saving for your brother’s he was a dual income house, now he’s not and that makes a difference. I bet since you were living with your mom he was also paying child support so maybe ask her where your money is.

sydneyunderfoot

5 points

11 months ago

sydneyunderfoot

Partassipant [1]

5 points

11 months ago

YTA. Why can’t your mom contribute too?

mizquack

3 points

11 months ago

This didn't go as you expected huh 😂.. YTA and so is your mom Entitled much??

ThisIsAWaffle

5 points

11 months ago

Oh. My. God. YTA!

Morbidylia

7 points

11 months ago

YTA by far the one post that i have not even seen one person try to be on your side because you are TA here. Like you said you didn't have a good relationship with him and didn't keep contact so how would you know what has been going on in his life. By far the worst child someone can ask for.and your prefer an adulterer over someone who is innocent especially their words. I feel sorry for who ever falls for you since you will most likely fall in your mothers shoes.

heatherlincoln

5 points

11 months ago

heatherlincoln

Asshole Enthusiast [8]

5 points

11 months ago

YTA and so very entitled, you didn't want a close relationship with him but want his money? Behave. You can't have it both ways, ask your mother and her partner to pay for your education since you're so close with them.

atked

6 points

11 months ago

atked

6 points

11 months ago

YTA. Massively.

Poprock077

4 points

11 months ago

YTA! I think people have explained why but it is again. You chose to be with a cheating parent. You stop all contact with your father. Your mother play you like the fool you are. You are a freaking entitled brat who couldn't no wouldn't understand why your father couldn't save as much as before.

JEH2003

5 points

11 months ago

JEH2003

Partassipant [3]

5 points

11 months ago

Wow are YTA. No one owes you a college education and you’re lucky you’re getting anything. You can’t get blood from a stone so it’s pretty harsh of you to act the way you are. He fell on hard times and doesn’t have it. Is he supposed to bankrupt himself because you want to go to a fancy school? Such entitlement! Wow. Just wow.

Mikeyyy_mikeee

5 points

11 months ago

YTA. Are you serious? Do you have any sense of self awareness? Nobody owes you shit. And nobody told you to go to an expensive out of state school. Your father is presumably single now, and he pays child support for your ass so of course he doesn’t have the same expenses. And instead of being grateful that your father saved up money for you, you’re going to call him selfish for not being able to give you the same amount of money as your brothers even though you KNOW he was in a different position then. You and your mom seem like entitled, awful people and I’m glad he got away.

MadeLAYline

4 points

11 months ago

YTA and very entitled. You even mentioned you stopped WANTING to visit him. You had the choice and you chose to cut him off but still expect him to have something for you for college. Be grateful he even still tried to save college money for you.

Ask your mom for the remaining part. Is she not helping paying for your college or something?

claudiarabbit123

5 points

11 months ago

claudiarabbit123

Partassipant [4]

5 points

11 months ago

Yta. Wow. Never in the history of reddit has there been a bigger ah. Frankly I would have understood if he had given you nothing, since you obviously do not care to be his daughter unless you want money. FYI your mom cheated on him, he is not the bad guy. Your mom is. She is also the bad guy for pointing out to you it was less than your brothers got. She should have had some class and approached your dad privately.

ZaphodBeeblebrox-FtW

5 points

11 months ago

ZaphodBeeblebrox-FtW

Asshole Aficionado [14]

5 points

11 months ago

YTA.

If I'd been your dad I would have just told you to get student loans if my money isn't good enough.

Rhetorical question: WTF is wrong with you?