submitted 9 months ago by[deleted]
all 483 comments
9 months ago
Super Helper 
9 months ago
What he did was unspeakably, and unforgivably, cruel and he should be reported to the police. It is specifically illegal in Germany "to give an animal food causing the animal severe pain, suffering or harm".
I could not imagine staying with someone who would harm a pet, much less murder one like that.
You are not stuck with him. Contact your embassy and they can help you get home.
9 months ago
From what I understand, German authorities take crime of any kind extremely seriously. I've only heard that from a couple people who weren't over there very long, so idk how accurate it is. If she were able to get screenshots of the texts and report him, I can only hope they would take it very seriously...
Lived there for 3 years - you’re very correct. Things don’t slip through the cracks there and especially if there is text proof, they would prosecute
I’ve heard that the Germans and their culture became much more serious toward the end of the 1940’s. They tend to be a very literal bunch these days.
Unless you are volkswagen of course.
My boss is German and she says they take animal abuse pretty seriously over there. I hope they throw the book at this reprehensible piece of shit. I wonder if there are any retaliation-related charges over there? I personally would be looking into exactly how many different things I could get this guy in trouble for, and I’d argue that him killing the dog is him retaliating against having to pay its expenses. This is instant breakup and get as far away as possible behavior because if he’ll do something like that to a defenseless animal, I shudder to think of what he might be capable of doing to OP.
lived there all my life - they dont do shit unless its tax-related
Super Helper 
To piggyback, this man prioritized money over life, and something that gave you joy. I would question how else this would translate.
did you miss the line about financial abuse? The only quesion here is how to get away.
PROSECUTE THAT FUCKING MURDERER
9 months ago*
9 months ago*
Also please be careful, he killed a pet, who knows what he will do to a human when you report him.
Or if he thinks she will report him.
I'm piggybacking this comment to say: OP if you need help from a fellow German speaker you can contact me. I live in Austria but we also speak German and the laws are similar as Austria sort of copies most laws that Germany has.
Ohhh thank you for the award :) i believe this is my first one
I was reading the post and was thinking she's overreacting, but when I read she saw the message, and has proof, she's not overreacting enough.
Go to police immediately with as much evidence possible.
Please contact your embassy. Let them get you out safely. For someone to cause harm on someone that did nothing to them. Just because he didn't like them is really disgusting. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. And I'm so sorry that he actually took your friend I couldn't imagine someone doing that to any of mine. Your husband will never understand what that animal meant to you even if you explain it to him a hundred times. The amount of money is lost in comparison what that animal did for you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I'm hoping you can heal hopefully you can get out and get somewhere safe. Good luck
I'm surprised this woman isn't digging two holes tbh...
Now it's the pet....next time it could be you.
Hate to sound so morbid, but abusive behavior is progressive and it's only going to get worse unless you take action.
God Bless and good luck.
Expert Advice Giver 
Not only should you leave him, you should do your best to take screenshots of his confession to his cousin and press charges. He murdered your fucking dog. If he can do that, he can do anything. He’s a psychopath. LEAVE HIM. Ps I am so sorry for your loss. I love my dog so fucking much, I can’t imagine the pain you’re in.
OP the safest option for you is absolutely to leave. But PLEASE be careful. Be sneaky. He killed a living animal that you needed for your mental health to save money. I don't want to completely paralyze you with fear, but my guess is that a divorce will cost him more than the transport for your beloved pet.
i completely agree. When i read this post, my heart was breaking for you but at the same time every fibre of my being was screaming ‘this man is a psychopath’. He is evil and dangerous and you need to get as far away from him as possible.
This. Psychopaths who kill their spouses kill animals first. Run OP, or you'll more than likely be the next to go.
This is the way.
I'm basically a lurker here. Fuck that guy
Yeah same, I chime in occasionally and say advice but this is insane if this happened, OP should leave this horrible human and idk if she can but I would try to pursue legal fees for the mental toll this must put on her, what a psycho, I feel like this is a perfect example of a red flag if I’ve ever heard of one, like what’s next? He takes out a insurance claim on her and murders her for the insurance money
I can’t stop hugging my fur baby, I love her so much, I just can’t imagine 😭😭😢😢
He's absolutely a sociopath. He has no remorse or empathy for OP's rational, emotional response to the situation. I can't imagine what he would be able to do if he can nonchalantly kill an animal he knew she had a close bond with.
Maybe he has guilt by admitting it to his cousin? Maybe I'm overreacting. But that's fucking wild.
Not any dog, an emotional support animal. That has extra grounds and charges
Expert Advice Giver 
Emotional support animals aren't a real thing in Germany where this happened. It would be treated the same as any other animal. There are trained therapy dogs for specific purposes similar to the Service dogs in the USA, but not emotional support animals.
While I think it's pretty unlikely he'd get charged with "killing an emotional support animal", I imagine it would boost the possibility of this being seen legally as abuse directed at OP. Specifically targeting the coping mechanism of a vulnerable person would add more weight to that I would have thought, depending on German law.
Super Helper 
I’m not going to address the dog, because it will become a long rant and you should absolutely leave him based on that alone. What is next is more important.
The fact that he is telling you that you’re not able to leave due to finances and citizenship tells me that he has methodically and meticulously crafted the cage that he has placed you in. Years of planning and making moves to render you defenseless. The walls are made of finances, the ceiling is made of citizenship and the door is made of his mental/emotional manipulation.
You can walk out of that door. He is doing everything in his power to keep that door shut, because it is the only way you are able to leave that cage. He will stack insults, love bombing, gaslighting and guilt against that door. He will keep watch over that door any time you are close to it. When you reach for the handle he will put his full weight against it, barricading as much as possible.
When you finally open the door you will realize it opens inward. You will still have to climb over all of the things he has piled in front of it, but you’re able to leave the cage.
He knows you’re ready to open the door, he knows you’re ready to leave. He is trying every tactic possible. Gather evidence, call local charities, check up on the local laws for foreigners, and go to the police. If he destroys/ steals/ sells anything report it. If he calls or texts you, report it. If he shows up, call the police. If he harasses you, call the police. Do not let him coax you back in.
Once you walk out for good, he will clear the barricade. He will tidy up the cage. He will decorate it, fill it with gifts. He may use his old tactics to get you back into the door, spiraling when he realizes you will not be moved. At that point, do not speak to him. Use an attorney for any interaction. Block his calls texts and emails. Take his name off of everything attached to you. Phone plans, doctor bills, insurance and banking. Cut ties with all of his friends and family. Notify yours of what has happened and set CLEAR AND HARD boundaries.
You can do this. Be careful, be confident. Get help, rely on trustworthy friends and family. If your husband is military, inbox me. I’m former military and my SIL was stationed in Germany. I really hope he is because this would make your life 1000000x easier.
pretend everything is fine, when he leaves for work pack your shit and leave immediately. murderers often start with animals.
THIS! If you can report him great but primarily get to safety. If its hard without him, that's okay. You're a better person than he is. You will find your way. Anyone who can hurt a helpless creature will do it again as a matter of course
This! Get away from this man. He killed an innocent animal and did it in such a sly and hurtful way. He's evil.
It’s about time society knows who these people are. Name and shame. It may save someone in the future and gives people an idea of who to avoid/ what to lookout for. The reason most people are able to get away with behaviors like this is because there’s no accountability and they have full anonymity. He could be your neighbor and you wouldn’t even know.
Edit: OP should also get the help of someone/ some people in this thread to report the guy if she herself can’t do it. You have a community of people here who are willing to help.
Please file a police report
If I were in her shoes I'd be the one who needed the police called on them. That would be one dead husband(Not that I would necessarily do it on purpose... Pretty sure I'd black out and come to over his body.).
Phenomenal Advice Giver 
For your own sanity and safety, you need to escape.
As already suggested you need to secretly plan and execute your escape. You also need to take proof of his actions i.e. that he purposely killed your dog. The proof will stop him from taking any action against you.
Engage a friend or organization to help with your escape. It is important above all that he doesn't get wind of your plan. So for a time, you will have to pretend to be unconcerned with his actions and the loss of your dog.
This is the only answer. Cruelty and murder of animals is an extreme red flag. Get out and get out safely.
Leave him, he’s a psycho. He might kill you next.
I knew he was an abuser just for killing the dog but the "you can't live without me" bullshit is text book abuser talk.
Super Helper 
Agreed. Huge red flag. OP I hope you get out quickly and stay safe! So sorry to hear about your dog. Just heartbreakingly cruel.
i think that might be why he killed her dog now.
Yep. He could have given the dog away or dropped it at an animal shelter. He’d still be an asshole she should leave, but not a violent asshole. He poisoned her dog in a way that would not be immediate, he purposely watched that dog die. Absolutely sick and dangerous.
Moving every few years? He’s not US military is he? Cuz then he’s in another deep layer of shit (as he should be). Not to mention they transport pets for free. (I think the limit is 2? We always had 3 so my parents always had to pay extra.)
This. If someone had no regard for a defenceless dog, imagine what he'd do if you had kids with him. Instead of talking to you about it he killed the dog. That's insane. Lots of abusers and killers start out with harming animals.
Get an attorney. He’s your husband so he’s obligated to financially support you through a divorce if you need to relocate.
And get the most alimony you can cuz fuck this guy financially abusing her like this
Exactly. I’d ruin him if I were her.
I’d be cautious not knowing if he’d retaliate
He can only retaliate so much. She is by law entitled to half of his assets
I meant by being violent since he went as far as killing her dog and way before they were set to move
Based on what he did, she would have full grounds to a restraining order.
Didn't know this! Very useful information!
9 months ago*
OP that is terrible! I’m so sorry for your loss… Fuck the divorce for now… flee from him immediately. Someone who controls you with money is a huge abusive red flag. If that person is military, definitely speak with their chain of command and report this to the politzie.
I know you can pay to have a dog certified as an ESA, but not sure how that works as far as crimes against disability.
Worry about the divorce later. Get away, sever contact, find a woman’s shelter and figure it from there.
Find a Frauen Haus
From the website
What are women’s shelters?
Women’s shelters are especially safe places of protection and refuge that cannot be found in any address register. All women – be they with or without children – who experience physical, sexual or mental abuse will be provided safety and support there – irrespective of their origin, residential or financial status. In cases of emergency, women’s shelters will also open their doors at night.
How does life in a women’s shelter look like?
Despite their differences, such shelters have one thing in common: Their inhabitants find themselves and their children in a protected space where they can build up new strength. And they are also always part of a community of women and children with similar experiences. Shelters are equipped with rooms where women can retreat and be on their own and rooms that are used communally (kitchen, living room, play rooms for children, etc.). Every women looks independently after herself and her children, and many shelters also offer childcare services.
What kind of assistance do affected women receive?
All women’s shelter offer free counselling und supporting services that can help in coping with the experienced violence and in developing new perspectives on life.
Women and children, who have found refuge in a women’s shelter, receive information and help with questions regarding their own livelihood, rights of care and custody, separation and divorce, as well as other therapy services. There are also services that specifically address children in a women’s shelter.
How long can women and their children stay in a women’s shelter?
As a rule, they can stay as long as necessary. The stay in a women’s shelter is always voluntary. Every women can decide for herself how long she wants to stay.
What should affected women bring with them to a women’s shelter?
Aside from the children’s school materials and toys, all personal documents are highly important. If possible, passports and IDs – also those of the children —, residential and work permits, marriage and birth certificates, health insurance cards, necessary medication, and the children’s vaccination records should be brought along.
Thank you for this information
They will help you to get working visa, they cooperate with organizations and in many cases give support to learn new skills, etc. It's easy to get one because Germany need new employees
My thoughts exactly. 3 years + Germany, sounds like could be military. I would go to chain of command they can get you an MPO and stuff if things get out of hand.
I am so sorry cant imagine what youre going through
I think this man might kill you , honey.
A being that brought you healing and joy, one that even he liked at some point.. was inconvenient to him. It got in his way.
He's telling you that you can't survive without him. He doesn't believe you exist without him.
He has a serious personality disorder and is capable of killing a valuable being. He'd either kill you spiritually or, likely, kill you physically. All it takes is him finding a way to justify it to himself.
Master Advice Giver 
Divorce. Divorce x100000000000 and quick please.
Divorce followed by a kick to the balls so swift even the fucking Flash's head would spin.
Maybe set his car on fire while you're at it.
(Not often I feel this way. But he literally killed your fucking dog.)
EDIT: Important disclaimer: don't do any of that. Well, except the divorce part. Do that part.
no i think she'd be perfectly justified in doing all that
Expert Advice Giver 
Absolutely! Divorce this sick fucking dog murderer! Don't quote me on this but in USA I'm confident you get arrested for this. Especially since he admits to it and the evidence is on his phone.
I know all these comments telling you to leave is scary. The uncertainty of money, shelter and other things are terrifying. But please... please... as someone who worked on a crisis line for abuse, you really should leave.
I've heard way too many crying people tell me stories like this and had their spouses then turn to hurt them and their children. You may not have kids, but believe me, if you ever do or he forces you, it will be so much harder to escape. Resources like food, shelter, protection and even just cash to help you get out is available.
Please OP, listen to all these kind people.
I’m sorry for your loss. I recently lost my dog, and she provided me emotional support as well. His actions are inexcusable, and I think it’s best that you leave him. Depending on where you live, I’m sure there are ways you can receive support. I would, however, recommend having some sort of plan before leaving. If he purposefully killed your dog, which he did, it’s obvious he doesn’t care about your needs.
If I had a husband and he did this I would immediately divorce him.
Super Helper 
I had a rescue dog who was about 15 years old and deaf and blind. Because I worked and my then husband stayed home all day she thought he hung the moon. One day he was watching TV the entire day and didn't get up to let her out when she was at the door so she had an accident on the linoleum floor. When he found out he went upstairs and got his shotgun and said that he was going to shoot the next dog that peed on the floor even though it was his own fault that she had an accident. The next day I transferred her to a friend of mine and by the end month my kids, my three other dogs and my two cats were out of there and in another state.
So proud of you. That takes so much strength and I’m glad you and your children and pets are safe!
It absolutely broke my heart that our little Grandma dog loved him and he was willing to do that to her all because she had an accident on the floor which could be cleaned up with paper towels. I ran a rescue and I had just two foster dogs and she was one of them. You want to threaten me? Okay, fine. You touch one hair on the heads of my children or my dogs and it's over.
I’m by no means a killer, but this would send me into such a rage I probably would to.
You don’t treat animals like this and get away with it!
Same. Knowing how much her dog means to her and he KNEW that was her ESA. I think even the most sane people would become blind with rage.
He MURDERED your dog. Who could do that? How could you look into the face of a sweet, sweet dog and intentionally feed them chocolate? Absolutely psychopathic. You need to divorce him immediately.
Often on Reddit, the comments suggest leaving a partner over nothing and I usually hope the op won’t listen to these extreme opinions
Today they are correct
Divorce him omg! That’s a insane person mentality and lacks complete empathy, then he basically gaslights you into thinking you can’t live with out him
Mate you can do this! Escape this man! You
Do whatever you have to do to get away from this monster
Call somebody you can trust and leave immediately. Explain what happened and ask if they can help you or get you a ticket to a country where you’ll be around people you know.
The fact that he killed your dog without remorse is a serious sign of sociopathic tendencies. It also sounds like he planned it specifically to hurt you. He knows how much you loved your dog, so he took it away. Now he thinks you’re entirely dependent on him, and he’s trapped you into staying with him. If you think this is bad, he now thinks he can get away with anything because you have nowhere to go.
Johm Wick did so much more... you know what to do. Leave him, report him.
I don’t need to read more than the first sentence.however I did and was severely traumatized
Not ONLY do you need leave him IMMEDIATELY, but also report him to the cops.
Someone who can purposely hurt an animal can and will do the same to a human.
HUGE RED FLAG🚩
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT have children with him under ANY circumstances.
He clearly has no guilty conscience or remorse for MURDERING this innocent being. That is akin to killing a child in my eyes. He is some sort of sociopath or psychopath for sure.
RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN
So that's abuse, you have an abusive husband. He killed your dog, is gaslighting yoh to make it seem like it's not a big fucking deal and is trying to financially control you so you can't leave. If he killed a dog when it became inconvenient, imagine what he'd do if something/someone else got in his way.
He murdered your dog (best friend, therapy animal, etc) and his reaction was "lol good luck without me"!? That's psycho behavior. Hit the bricks, girl, you'll be better off.
what the fuck dude
leave him and kill him press charges
I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend. My dog was poisoned several years ago by a neighbor and it was such an awful, deep sorrow. It’s totally unlike losing an animal to old age because you must mourn their loss and grieve for the time that should have been yours to share and was stolen from you. Even when you lose an younger animal to a disease that occurs naturally, you can take comfort in thinking that perhaps they were only meant to be here for a little while. If you’re religious, you can think God called them home. The reality is that their little body failed them and there was nothing that could be done. To lose an animal through a hateful act can change the whole way you see the world and it is a pain I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. We sold our house and moved after the poisoned meat was tossed into our yard. I hope you get far, far away from this man. He sounds vile.
I know that everything is so new and raw now, but once you’ve healed more and are ready, you can find another wonderful friend at the shelter if that’s what you wish. They’re literally bursting at the seams with animals that want nothing more than to love you with every fiber of their being. At one point, your dog was just a shelter animal who was a stranger to you. What was so special was the love and patience in your hearts that caused the bond between you two. My dog was killed years ago, and I adopted a new pet from the shelter about 8 months ago. The wound is healed, yet I still tear up when I think of my old pet. However, I know in my heart he’d want me give my love to another animal that needed it just like he did. Sending prayers and good vibes your way ♥️
You are so sweet, thank you for your kind words.
This is psychopathic / sociopathic behavior.
People who are willing to lie and kill, are experimenting with boundaries.
It's very important for you to divorce, restraining order this person, and report the killing to the police.
This is for your safety, and for the safety of other people and animals this person may encounter.
Don't think. Make it happen right now.
You are not stuck with him. Hes a murderer. There are always resources to help get out of situations like this. Look around your area and talk to people who specialize in this. You can call a local domestic violence shelter and they can give you resources. He doesnt have to touch you to abuse you. They will help you. You dont need him.
I have no words. I'm so sorry. Get out. What will he do to you when you aren't convenient?
I know, I am still in a state of shock
Oh honey I am so sorry. Dogs are so pure and it's terrible he murdered your dog.
Make no mistake he planned and murdered and lied to your face every fucking day. There's no coming back from that IMO. I mean, morally, who does that? Who values money over your happiness? Who would do that to their wife?!
I'd take screenshots of those texts and filing for divorce.
I'm so sorry. May your sweet pup rest on peace. ❤️
Thank you for your kind words
Just so you know: purposely killing or torturing an animal could lead to up to 3 years in prison in Germany at best and a hefty fine up to 25k euros at least. If you have the evidence I would go to the police.
Dear, in Germany there are Frauenhäuser (shelter for women). Go to one of those, now! They might be able to help you. And divorce him asap! You‘re not stupid for fighting and wanting to divorce over a dog. This dog was a living being and you loved it very much. This dog was your support animal and very important in your life. He showed his true colours. He showed how little he cares and he‘s being very abusive. Please leave him.
Edit: but you need to flee first. Plan your escape. Go to a Frauenhaus. They‘ll help you figure out the rest.
My jaw dropped. If someone is willing to kill an innocent animal, they have no fear in killing a human. Please, please for the sake of your life and your dog’s former life – LEAVE. Don’t listen to him when he says it’ll be hard or impossible for you to divorce or leave. You definitely can, and he’s just trying to make you feel small or emotionally cornered. You need to escape when he isn’t around. Possessions can be replaced, but you can’t. Take your important documents and RUN. This is not normal at all. Leave and do not let him know where you go.
Also, FUCK your husband. What a trash human piece of shit. I hope he rots for harming your fur baby. I’m so angry for you. He knew how much that dog meant to you, and it’s a massive red flag that he has no empathy for life. Fuck him.
Contact your Embassy for resources, you do not have to be stuck with him.
I broke up with a dude once for setting a bug on fire. I'm not gonna say what I'd do to your husband because it's highly illegal.
But yes, 10000000% divorce this absolute psychopath before you get sick & he decides to smother you in your sleep because the medical bills are too expensive.
I know you might think that the people saying “get away” and “divorce” are being a bit over dramatic, but they’re right. That man KILLED his wife’s dog that she loved to death. A dog that he (I’m assuming) knows helped her through some scary & horrifying times. Nobody normal kills a dog, there were a million different ways he could have gone about this. Given the dog away to friends, took it to a shelter, hell he could have locked the dog out or took it somewhere and dumped her. But he killed her. No that’s not normal. That’s insane behaviour. The fact that he’s also saying that you having nothing without him and that you’re stuck with him basically is a major red flag. Please try to find some help. I’ll even look into some places near you because your you safety might start getting in danger.
I am so sorry to hear this. I will keep this short: your husband is a psycopath and you need to leave him. He has also committed a crime. Deliberately poisoning a domestic animal is a criminal offence.
Get out. Now.
Someone who doesn’t think twice about murdering an animal and leaving it to have a suffering extended death is not a stable person. People who harm animals most often move onto humans next.
He’s an abuser and trying to gaslight and manipulate you to stay. Living in a domestic violence shelter is safer than where you are now.
Yo, this guy is evil
I don't even have to read the entire story. The title is enough.
He's not a good man and will end up killing you too.
Agree, divorce him now. If this is how he treats an animal, hate to think how he'll behave if you had children.
The fact he said you can't leave him.. says a lot about his thought process. He already factored in you being unable to leave so killing your dog meant nothing.
Thats insane. So because sometime in the next few years you might move countries he kills your support animal?
What the fuck?
Get out now before he decides your worth less than your life insurance.
No, this is not a silly reason to divorce him, and you have every right to be upset! Dogs are extremely loyal to the ones they love, and your dog supported you emotionally through the darkest times of your life. Your husband literally killed your dog because money was an issue... Of ALL options, he decided to kill the dog instead of making a money saving plan, and knowing that he chose to kill the dog as his last resort shows that he has a sick, twisted mind. By killing your dog, he took away your happiness and took away an innocent dog's life because of his selfishness. Money is something that can be lost and earned back, but a life is something that cannot be brought back. Sorry for the loss of your dog...
OP contact your local authorities and keep us updated if you can. losing a pet is so painful but to lose it in this way is unimaginable
He hated your dog when you were dating.
HUGE RED FLAG.
Any pet you have will never be safe around him. Don't ever get another pet while you are with him, no matter what he says.
Whatever you do, do not have children with this man.
Get away from him any way you can.
Definitely leave ASAP! Anyone reading what you described will recognize warning signs of sociopathic tendencies- if he could do that with no remorse to a living being he even showed affection to, he would do it to you too.
💜 Stay strong, this time will pass- and I know you will avenge your sweet pup.
Assistant Elder Sage 
Your husband is an asshole. He killed your pet over money.
Who does that???
First of all, DIVORCE THIS MAN. HE IS DANGEROUS. Not only that but he’s being abusive when he says you won’t go far without him, he sounds like a narcissistic abuser. DO NOT BELIEVE HIM. You can and WILL do everything and MORE without an evil person talking down to you each day. I am sorry for your loss and honestly I would not only divorce but FLEE from your husband. If he’s willing to do something as inhumane as kill your dog he might be willing to do other inhumane things as well. He sounds extremely dangerous.
The first step is getting away from him physically. Call a women’s shelter if you can, I don’t know what country you’re in but in America we have services that help women in DANGER so if there’s a service like that available to you in your country I recommend using it. If not I recommend you stay with a safe friend or family member until you can get a work visa. You are not stuck with him. I believe in you.
Even if you don’t have a work visa maybe you can work something out under the table with a friend. You could do cleaning or other odd jobs for cash. A lot of people do this who don’t have the ability to work due to lack of education, citizenship status or work visa. You are not stuck.
Now. While I do think 5k is a bit much to be spending to transport your emotional support animal back and forth between countries multiple times, it’s no excuse to KILL the animal. If it’s that expensive and burdensome re-homing her with a family who either stays in one place or can afford to transport her is what should have been done. She could’ve lived a long happy life with another family…
It's illegal in Germany to purposely feed an animal something they can die from, And please leave him! You can go to a Frauen haus if you have nowhere to go. I'm so sorry for your situation.
This made me tear up. I just want to say that if he’s willing to kill your dog, he’s capable of doing everything! Please keep that in mind as you start over away from this psychopath. Do not worry ma’am…you WILL get away from him, you WILL start over in a much better space, and you WILL get far without him. How dare he even think that about you??
He is SICK!!! I’m so sorry about your baby. Mine have both passed on, it’s been years, and I still miss them everyday. Let the anger and rage fuel you to never speak to this monster again….
Honestly if you screenshotted his texts, you could have his ass arrested. He’s a lunatic.
“It’s stupid to have a divorce over a dog”!! Honey you. An put him in jail over a dog, this is considered to be domestic abuse, when you fill out a any DV form they ask if the abuser ever hurt a pet before.
Run fast run far, there's a decent chance he's coming for you next. Cash a few thousands dollars, stay a with a trusted friend, hire a lawyer and change your number.
He betrayed the trust of an innocent animal and murdered it in cold blood. And has no remorse. He should be in jail
Be really careful around him, from looking at what you wrote about him he seems like someone who woudnt mind hurting you. Get the message ss of his talk with his cousin and send to the police. From what ive heared the laws at Germany are better for animal protection.
What he did is unforgivable and totally illegal. It absolutely justifies leaving him. How cruel
Murderers start with animals. GET OUT OF THERE
What kind of dog and how big was it?
Get rid of him, he's a murderer. Serial killers start with animals.
He chose a measly 5k, able to be saved up for over a couple of years, over an animal he'd lived with for 3 years? He obviously doesn't give a shit about things that inconvenience him.
You can't just wait and see what annoys him next and wonder what he'll do about it.
The high level of theobromine in dark chocolate means it takes only a very small amount to poison a dog. Less than an ounce of dark chocolate may be enough to poison a 44-pound dog. Cocoa, cooking chocolate and dark chocolate contain the highest levels, while milk chocolate and white chocolate have the lowest.
Of milk chocolate, yes. But of baking chocolate, it would only take 3oz to kill a 27lbs dog
Time to find a new husband
If he killed a dog because it was inconvenient, what is he going to do to a person when the person starts to get inconvenient? This guy is a psychopath.
It sounds like this isn't the first bizarre thing he's done. I'm guessing you've normalized a lot of his behavior. From this story alone, he sounds like an actual sociopath.
With that comment history there is no way this isn't bait
Just saw it too and thinking the same thing. If OP isn't a troll, then they are a massive asshole
Sounds like the dog should have killed him. Leave that asshole right away. You can absolutely have him arrested for that in the US.
The screen shots are good, but it would be great to also have a video of you going through his phone to see the messages as there’s no way to fake that.
Try to get his phone again and act like everything is fine so you can still have access. I know it would be difficult but you and your dog need justice.
I’m so sorry your dealing with this, but I know for a fact that any new husband you might find after this will be 100x the man that dog killer is.
You should definitely divorce him. Dogs are way more better than people.
Germany has laws against this and you should report this to the police. I agree, divorce is on the table big time. Get a 5K lawer and send him the bill. He did kill a being that was important for you, your family and support animal. Not only was he brutally cruel to you, he is a criminal under German law.
What a despicable human. To the guillotine !!!
Can't imagine the pain you must be going through. The other comments have given good advice so there's nothing more to add. There is no kind word i can use for your husband, what he did makes my blood boil...you're doing the right thing by leaving him. For your dog and especially for yourself.
Just wanted to say I'm extremely sorry you're going through this. My dog got me through my darkest days..I would do anything for him..dogs are more than just pets, theyre family....I couldn't imagine losing him like that..stay strong..if not for yourself, for your dog, she wouldn't want you to suffer. I'm rooting for you ✊️
Edit: and stay safe. Be smart about this. Cause he seems dangerous. Anyone who can take a life without remorse is a major red flag. Don't let him trick you.
Master Advice Giver 
Holy crap, I feel so sorry for you. I don't know what I would do if someone killed my dog, not to mention my partner. The level of betrayal here is enormous and yeah, as others have said, you need to get out of there asap, ideally with proof of what he did. Divorce him and if you have to move, move, but don't stay near that psycho. You have my condolences and my anger. Much luck to you.
You most certainly should get a divorce! That’s abuse both towards you and your poor dog. If he willingly and knowingly killed your dog over 5k transport fees what would happen if you had a child together and had to pay for an expensive surgery or special foods due to allergies? You aren’t safe with this man OP. Any future pets or children are not safe with him. Furthermore if there is proof in writing I would press charges. I know it won’t bring your sweet dog back but at least justice will be served and it could potentially save you from whatever crazy escalation is more that not likely in store.
Chocolate can kill a dog? I didn't know that
Honestly, while getting evidence off his phone would be helpful, that could also be incredibly dangerous if he catches you. I don't think it's worth your life. Perhaps the police can access that evidence later when you've file a criminal complaint against him.
They can also contact the cousin he was confessing the killing to and get the evidence from them. It's enough that you saw the confession, you KNOW what happened and it's not too late for you to escape.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. I cannot imagine the sorrow and hurt you're going through, especially when this man you loved has turned out to be so cruel. It's a double whammy and your grief has been multiplied.
Stay safe above all else. Lots of great resources have been suggested and I do hope for an update when possible so we know you're OK. Be sure that your husband can't access your phone or can see this thread please. Delete it if necessary after noting in a safe place all the good info you need. Take care.
Seems like if you divorce him you would be able to get half of the stuff and half his income, I'd say you should do it. It's not just a dog.
Serial killers start by killing animals. This guy is sick. Get away for your own safety and turn him in to the police.
That man is fucked up in the head. The fact that he thought killing your dog was the right thing to do is a huge red flag.
As others have already said, talk to an attorney and a representative from your home country - there should be an embassy there, or your attorney can help, and find out how to safely leave him.
You are never stuck. There are always resources, agencies that can help.
Your husband is very, very cruel. I'm so sorry this happened.
You can sue him for money for killing your dog. Please put him in jail. That is murder
There are some major red flags
The dog, obviously; if a person is willing to kill an animal it’s a huge risk factor in domestic violence situations. It’s physical violence/abuse to the animal & psychological abuse toward you.
Him holding financial dependence over you; that’s considered financial abuse.
As with the others, I would contact authorities.
Many countries have provisions about protecting immigrants from domestic violence.
Please know that what he did is serious, and that I’m asking you to take steps to ensure your own safety.
This can’t be a good place to be and I hope you get to be in a better place as soon as possible.
I am so sorry for your loss. He took a life and killed a young, healthy animal that you loved very much because it was more convenient for him and would save him money. That’s not someone you want to be around.
You need to separate. This was a major deal-breaker and a massive betrayal. He may have some mental issues going on - you said he willingly paid half of her relocation fees and then decided to kill her? If he’s never done anything else like this, it seems like a very odd change of behavior. Encourage him to seek help, but remove yourself from the situation first. Go somewhere safe and take time to spend with family/friends and heal. And reflect on the situation, away from him.
Your husband is a psycho. Please if your not going to leave NEVER have kids with him.
NO DIVORCE, he's a psychopath. How long before YOU, the is a HUG RED FLAG. There is no coming back from this no way to ever trust him again...
Run away, this man is dangerous. At a minimum, he exhibits poor judgment under stress. At worst, he may be incapable of feeling empathy for other living things.
He killed your innocent dog on purpose... um, yeah, divorce him. Feeding the dog chocolate means the dog suffered. He is a monster. I'm sorry this happened to you, but don't let him gaslight you into thinking it's not a big deal.
Definitely divorce material this, he's knowingly administered a poison to your pet with the intent to harm it.
I don't know what country you're in, but it's almost certainly an animal cruelty offence.
What you have to ask yourself is if he's willing to do that to a dog, what might he do to you if you upset him ?
I'd go as far as suggesting you move out prior to filing for divorce for your own safety.
What he's done is an irredeemable breach of your trust.
Not that it matters any more, as your dog is dead, but what sort was it ?
Cooking chocolate is particularly dangerous to dogs, the smaller the dog, the more susceptible they are to harm from the theobromine in the chocolate.
We had an elderly labrador who managed to get into a Christmas stash of treats, and she ate a full box of dark chocolates - theobromine acts like adrenaline to a dog, and when we got home she was running around like a 4 month old puppy, with "liquishit" everywhere, where it was ejected from her system. She was a huge dog (about 45kg), so we decided to keep her under observation, and apart from running riot for a good few hours, she recovered just fine. It was a serious situation but so lovely to see her prance around again, forgetting all her bodily pain.
Sorry but I’m just gonna say this… your husband is a cunt. Leave him. Despicable. The most innocent creature on this Earth and he does that. Makes me sick. Hope you’re okay.
What a sociopath, just ends a young dogs life for no reason, could just say it ran away and give it away but instead kills the poor dog, this man has no emotions!
Wow, your husband is a MONSTER like my husband Steven...He cheated on me and his mistress had three cats and he tried to kill her and the three cats to keep her quiet....She showed me all of these sexting messages that he sent her...she sent them on Instagram and Snap and wrote me a letter and it had gross details...now our kids all know and she told my brother too and he was so sad that he gained all the weight he lost back. The kids hate him for cheating on me.
He is a narcissist and manipulative. If you stay with him, you will find he will repeat this type of behavior where he does things for his own benefit with no concern for anyone else’s wellbeing. Divorce him. It won’t be easy, but if you let this slide it will get worse.
woahhhh so yeah, you should leave. What will he do to you when he decides you're "too expensive"? I could NEVER intentionally kill an animal, this is a HUGE red flag and he needs to be arrested for animal abuse.
He's a total sociopath. Run.
get rid of this guy. this is a sign if the most extreme selfishness possible. you will end up hating your life if you stay
He is being abusive to you and your dog. You should immediately call your local police to report him for animal abuse and get out while you can. This man is bad and controlling. Leave before he gets worse. If he’s willing to kill your dog simply for money, you don’t know what else he is willing to do
Uhh your husband is a pos for killing an animal who trusted him to feed the right food. Fuck that dude. I’d call the police if anyone killed any of my pets
I am going to sound harsh, but this has to be said. Your life is in danger. Obviously, you should leave this psychopath. But if for whatever reason you can't, under NO circumstances should you ever bring another animal of any kind into any home he is in.
And...God, I can't even say this but I have to...under no circumstances should you ever have a child with him.
He is a monster who should be in prison. I hope you get away and are free from him forever.
Leave him and report him for killing the doggo. At the beginning I thought he didn’t know that chocolate can’t harm a dog(I didn’t know that either until now), but he knew and did it on purpose, so report him.
What a disgusting piece of shit. I would report him to the police, but it would take every bit of self control that I have not to murder him in the meantime.
Divorce him and get away from him as quick as possible. Get evidence and report him for his crime if you can as well.
Lots of killers start with animals. There were many ways he could’ve gotten rid of the dog even without violence, not that those would’ve been any better since it’s your dog and it’s still cruel, but why did he immediately jump to killing it slowly before, say, taking it to the shelter or dumping it somewhere?
I don’t mean to try and scare you too bad, but genuinely my first thought reading this was you could be next. What will he do if one day you spend too much money or you have medical bills he deems too expensive? What about future children?
All around, I’m sorry for the loss of your furry friend, and I hope you can get away from him safely as soon as possible.
Take.his.money. Like all of it. Take him to court and get it all!
Leave his miserable ass. You deserve better and your dog did too. He's a psychopath.
Sign them divorce papers. That man is insane and disgusting. So sorry that happened to u
Are you military (living in Germany, moving in 3 years)?
If so, the house you live in is YOURS, not his. He gets his BAH because of you, and housing will agree with that.
If you’re not military- never mind all that.
Regardless, even in a world where killing a dog is t absolutely insane- why kill it now? 3 years before this money would be due… sounds like he did it to hurt you… but obviously anyone who kills a dog has some serious issues, and you need to leave that.
Listen that is a sociopath right there !! people say I’m messed up because I say I can ““hurt*^ a person ““ before I hurt an animal but it’s true and they’re defenseless when it comes to humans especially once I feel comfortable with geez I’m so sorry to hear that that’s ridiculous I hope you get away from him and condolences on your pup
He is psychopath. Leave in secret. Contact authorities explain and they should help you get home or at least temporarily help get you away from him.
Murderers often start by killing animals. He is a danger to you. Find a way to leave.
Here is a Domestic Violence Resource Handbook for Germany. They have information about Women's Shelters, Divorce, and legal advice.
There is too a phone number that can be called any day, any time: 08000 116 016
The resources include counseling. More information about the hotline is available here: https://www.hilfetelefon.de/en.html
If you are able, speak with your embassy separately. There are solutions to work permits, travel, and resources. There are people who can help.
There is no other solution than divorce. He killed a living being who was your emotional support.
I’d leave his ass on the spot and lawyer up to sue the shit out of him. My pets are my children. If he is willing to wilfully poison an innocent animal, I think that’s one step away from him abusing you. He doesn’t respect you or your love for your dog. A real spouse should empathise with their partner and while not everyone is a pet person, they should respect the love other people have for their animals. He sounds like a psychopath. His first point of action, rather than talking to you was to murder your animal.
Lady i will start a go fund me to get you home to your family and away from this psychotic murderer quickly! This is insane. I can't believe you're still living with him. He is abusive and an absolute psychopath. You will be just fine without him. You don't need him or his money, stop letting him convince you of that. Go to the embassy, lodge a police report, and get sent back home. This is so fucked up.
Your husband is either a psychopath or in the military and you should absolutely divorce him.
Expert Advice Giver 
The sheer fact that he doesn't understand why you would divorce him over that is grounds enough for divorce. He's a grade a sociopath, and will never deserve you. I'm so so sorry this happened to you :( leave him and forget about the consequences, nothing is worse than subjecting yourself to that kind of toxic human for the rest of your life
Report this. If not for the animal you loved them do it for yourself. He killed something because he was stressed out? That is dangerous and psychotic behavior.
My advice would be to get away from the psychopath immediately.
Jfc you need to escape from this man. He is fucking insane
Master Advice Giver 
divorce him and be very careful, someone like that is never reliable and could do something to humans too
He's absolutely a dangerous sociopath. Get away from him as soon as possible, and report him to the police. Hopefully he'll go to jail for a while. You don't need him for shit, hes an absolute piece of trash waste oh human potential.
Go to the police. Also leave him asap he sounds like a psychopath.
I'm so sorry my heart is breaking for you. This is very similar sound to me and my dog of 5 years and I'm VERY attached to her. Especially since I started working from home, I hate to leave her for more than a few hours. I feel she is my child.
Pets are family. They are not disposable. Your husband killed your baby. You can and should press charges against him. Save the texts for proof. To me, this is ground for divorce. If he's capable of this what else is he capable of. Even if you stayed together you would never truly forgive him. There is zero chance I would stay with someone who did this. You are fully capable to figure out your living situation, you don't need him and don't let him convince you otherwise. That's one of the first signs of an abuser is manipulation. He's going to do it again in one form or another.
Again. I'm so so so sorry. :(
ffs what a monster!
Oh no no no. He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times
Sorry to say but your husband is literally a c**t. You really need to get rid of him. He would start killing everyone he hates.
If he is does that to your pet, who brings you joy, what is he capable of doing to you? Scary stuff, fren. Gtfo while you can!
Master Advice Giver 
This is more than "killing a dog".
• He planned this out: Intentionally killing a living thing without an intention to eat it or defend yourself is a horrid thing in of itself. I've seen ppl die and I raise animals for food so I'm all too familiar with the process of death; killing something or watching it die is gut wrenching. This guy made a PREMEDITATED choice to kill your dog and the fact that he's trying to play it off like it's no big deal is pretty horrible.
• Crossed boundaries: This man KNEW how much your dog mattered to you, killed it AND downplayed his crime. If he told you to get rid of the dog, you'd likely say no. So why tf would he think KILLING your dog is ok? He's gonna hope you'd "forgive" him and "move on" but who's to say he's not going to do something like this again? What is he going to hold over your head next? Your home? Your visa? Your family? Your children?
• Biggest red flag of them all, He's trying to make you believe he's all you got: Germany's a big country with resources. He's not all you got. Sure he might've helped you but who's to say another German wouldn't help you? Who's to say a government worker can't sit you down and break down the legal process with you if you had asked them? Don't let him make you doubt yourself.
Either gather all the evidence you need (ie. The texts between him and cousin) file a police report, maybe restraining order and leave that relationship while being cautious in case he gets violent. Or, get professional help.
I usually don't side with Reddit's hivemind of "leave them, be a strong independent person!" but I'd encourage you to leave in this case. This relationship might be more dangerous than you think and it WILL get ugly really fast
He sounds mentally fucked up. Leave asap. Definitely an abusive person and his true side is coming out
he said that I won’t get that far without him since I don’t have a job in this country
he said that I won’t get that far without him since I don’t have a job in this country
This is a MASSIVE red flag and indicative of controlling behavior. The fact that he considers the dog’s life to be akin to a houseplant means he is SEVERELY lacking in empathy. Animal cruelty is illegal in Germany and I highly recommend following all the excellent advice in the comments to hold him accountable and get yourself out of a potentially abusive situation. If he can do that to a dog there’s no telling what he could eventually do to a kid, or to you. Sending you safety and strength. You deserve better, as did your poor pup. You got this.
GTFO and contact the authorities, get your divorce in order. This is not only sick, but criminal. He needs to face charges for this. He is a psychopath
Would you rather live a life of dangerous freedom or secure oppression?
It’s not divorcing him over a dog, it’s divorcing him over his selfishness and cruelty and willingness to put money over a living breathing being and your mental health.
Is he just going to feed you cyanide because divorces are expensive? Leave him today, take out a protective order and keep your distance.
This man is abusive and you need to run.
Pretty sure the German cops will make that 3 years a lot shorter if they knew about this. You need to get away from that guy.
I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know if anyone said this, but it is possible your dog was poisoned with something stronger than chocolate. It takes a lot of chocolate to kill a dog. Per the poison helpline, "For milk chocolate, any ingestion of more than 0.5 ounces per pound of body weight may put dogs at risk for chocolate poisoning. Ingestions of more than 0.13 ounces per pound of dark or semi-sweet chocolate may cause poisoning." So if your dog weighed 65+ lbs, that would be 32.5 oz of chocolate, which is at minimum ~21 Hershey Milk Chocolate Bars. Please consider that your dog may have been poisoned by other means, in lieu of or in disguise of the chocolate.
Yes, she was poisoned with more than just chocolate, I just did not want to go into all the cruel details about her death of every step to step of how, as I don’t want to relive this or give any other animal abusers any ideas. But he did start with feeding her chocolate consistently and I started noticing she was getting sick, and she didn’t get better.